**The Infertility ONE Thread**May 2012** - Page 5

[chicajones]

Sila, so sorry to read about your BFN. I was following along and rooting so hard! I hope that your body did create the perfect lining, and now that it has, it'll do it again next time! What a discouraging weekend to have a negative on as well; I hope you are being kind to yourself and treating yourself to some special things that make you smile.

deborah, I just can't get enough of the pictures of your puppy! Such a cutie. :) I love what a sweetheart your dad is with Peachy.

shesaidboom, what a terrible "nutritionist"! I think that you know your body well enough, and if you have a plan and follow it, that's the best thing to do. Sticking with the plan seems to be 90% of eating the way you should, and much better to stick to something you actually believe in and know is healthy for your body. I would definitely tell your doctor not to send anyone to that kook. 

krunchyk, thinking of you! Hoping you already had your beta and it was right on target! We'll be waiting in suspense until you can post again. :)

sourire, how was the garden planting? I love the things you've picked, it sounds like such a fun garden! 

mexilady, also thinking of you and wondering how things are going. Hopefully you're just busy/exhausted from being pregnant!

hope, excited for your u/s! It will be fun to hear if it's one...or two. :) 

teresa, definitely understand how it can be hard to manage multiple threads! Just be sure to pop in and update us as soon as you get your BFP (which hopefully will be very very soon!)

AFM, doing pretty well--tomorrow is 8 weeks! I started getting nervous yesterday that I haven't really had any m/s or nausea yet. I've sporadically had a few nauseas waves, but they've been very rare. Also, my boobs weren't as sore yesterday as they had been...but they're still sore. I think I was worries mostly because we told our families yesterday, which was wonderful and they were all thrilled, but part of me is scared that something will happen and I'll have to tell them all sad news. Today, though, my boobs are pretty sore again, and I also started having these strange stabbing sensations near my belly-button. I googled a little and it looks like those can come from your stomach expanding/growing, so I'm thinking that's a good sign. I'm also still peeing every ten minutes and am pretty exhausted, so I'm adding those to the list. I really wonder if/when the m/s will hit. I can't say I truly want it, but I also would appreciate having such a classic symptom. I think that if we aren't able to hear the heartbeat at my 9 week appointment, I'm going to ask my midwife to schedule an ultrasound for me. I know I'll feel so much better after seeing/hearing the heartbeat. 

[toothfairy2be]

shesaidboom- I have to agree with what everyone else says. Don't follow a word of that man's advice, you are asking for trouble in a multitude of ways. Your health is more important than a few extra pounds. You can do it the right way and we are all here to support you. That stinks about the provera though, I hope it works faster this time so you get another chance in before your honeymoon!

sila- darnit. I wanted this to  be it for you. WTH. It does sound like you just had a thick lining. Sending hugs. Oh, I also only ever did 1 IUI, 36 hours after trigger- and beta at 14 dpo-- but if I was paying OOP, I would not have done the beta, no way no how unless I'd gotten a BFP at home.

krunchy- Good luck with the move! I hope you are hooked up and checking in with us again soon!

hi monkey, wissa, gemmine, chica, & hope-- It is nice to get support from our graduates. I just want you all still there when I blow this popstand...

AFM- I know I missed some people, I just needed to catch up a little before I'm too out of the loop. I had insomnia last night and woke up once with hot flashes... only 9/10 DPO, earlier than my previous 11dpo night sweats that were my telltale NOT pregnant. So my LP is apparently shorter, also my boobs are sore which I haven't had in months (which I know, most I was on prometrium, but last month after my LAP I wasn't and I didn't have any of this). I just feel like 1 step forward 2 steps back. I had 4 days of spotting after O too... Just feeling overwhelmed and PMS-ey and sad. I mean, I know our chances were crap this month but I just wanted a better cycle overall. One day of EWCM and O on CD 16/17, 4 days of spotting, shorter LP with spotting/hot flashes/sore boobs and PMS... not what I signed up for. My first appt with my new doc (since our phone convo back in... what was that, February?!) is Friday. I just want to know how I can start moving on. Sigh. Sorry for coming back just to whine, but I needed it. Mother's day was OK, my cousins girls made me a card which was really sweet. Everyone else just ignored me. I did yardwork all day with DH- he bought me a rose at church- a promise for mother's days to come. It was sweet, but today I just feel like I've failed him.

[zenquaker]

Toothfairy, so sorry Mother's Day is so hard. I wish I could hand you a bfp right now! :(

[SilaMarila]

Smiles - Yay 5k! Good job. Sigh, I really miss my old hardcore running self. IF's a bitch. I forget what appt this is? I just remember you've been waiting for it for forever! Are you going to ask for something to get AF going? Or get an u/s?

Hope - Thanks. I hope so too.

Monkey - I hope the same. 

Krunchy - Thanks. Hoping for great beta results!!! I hope you are settling in nicely in the desert. 

Chica - Thanks. I'm still just feeling kind of numb, but I should listen to your suggestion. Congrats on making it to the 8wk mark! Maybe you are just one of those people that don't get sick! Also, from experience (my own and I also work at a birth center) it is highly likely that you may not hear the heartbeat on a doppler at 9wks. I know it's hard, but don't freak out if you don't hear it that early.

Cait - I'm sorry you are feeling like everything with your cycle is all wrong. I hope it's just your body adjusting to no meds and trying to figure itself out post lap. I hope you get answers at your appt and that you are able to do something that will feel like moving on. I can empathize with you on the feeling like you've failed your DH. I kind of pressured my DH into the 2nd IUI because I was so hopeful. Now I feel guilty and I know how much stress all of this causes him, especially the financial stuff. 

AFM - Clomid day 1. We're going with the same protocol as last cycle (Clomid 100mg, trigger, IUI) except starting Clomid on CD3 instead of CD28. I'm scared my body won't be able to respond that soon.

[deborahbgkelly]

Chica- Yes, my dad loves his granddog. My mom loves her too, so just to be fair let's put up a pic of my mom with Peaches (In the running for World's Biggest Lap Dog).

[renavoo]

Cait, I've been stalking you and I'm just heartbroken for you...not that i'm counting you out for this cycle. Until AF shows her ugly face, you're still in the game. But I wanted to give you a hug...you're not failing anyone. I remember feeling just that way and my DH reminded us that we're in this together. He also feels like he failed on some level when we were having trouble getting pregnant. Just love each other. i hope that your new doctor brings you some better news.

everyone else, hi! I'm looking forward to more BFPs this month!

[shesaidboom]

SilaMarila - I got 7 days, which is what I had before. If I have to do it again and I have a slow response, I'll definitely mention doing 10. I want it to work quickly! I'm sorry your ultrasound was so bad. I can totally relate. Why do they have to push so hard when our bladders are full? Ugh. I hate the diet specialists too. What upsets me as well is that I've worked hard to change my diet to more whole, clean foods and that has been a huge process living with people who don't feel the same way, but this diet would basically throw all that away, aside from leafy greens. I don't want to rely on boxed food.
I really hate when AF is confusing! I wonder what that grey/tan piece was. Has anyone else ever had that? I definitely had BAD clots after my first Femara cycle. It could be that our linings were just that much better. Here's hoping it ends soon and you can move on with your cycle!

smilesarefree - I completely agree with you. It just doesn't make any sense. This diet says it's different because you can hold it (slightly less restrictive) long term so you won't gain weight back, but the thing is as soon as you slip they throw you out and then you're on your own. It's just not cool. Thanks!
Congrats on your first 5k! How was it? I hope you're not too sore. I also hope your doctor apt goes well. Thinking good thoughts for you!

hope4light - I know right? Thanks for the support. I'm glad I'm not the only one that was just baffled by this diet. I read some reviews online which made me really upset. One woman was saying something like "Wow, I had no idea fruit was so bad for you!" It's just messing with peoples' idea of healthy. I really hate this guy, and yeah, the whole point is to lose weight for IVF (well, for me too, but the rush is for IVF) and this is not something that would benefit the baby we are trying for.

monkey - That was the part that I was just "wait...I CAN'T drink just water?" I've never ever heard that. I've only seen what you said, the diets that allow it but don't necessarily recommend it. I will be talking to my doctor about this guy and I'm looking into a way to report him to our health care system. I'm so glad I do know better and am so thankful for the knowledge and support from you ladies.
I imagine it would feel that way, but before you know it your little one will be here! I love watching preggo bellies move though. It's SO COOL! I hope your move goes well.

krunchyk - thank you for the book recommendation! I have a couple books on PCOS diets that I've been using, but I can always use more. I will definitely be picking this one up. It does sound like it will be helpful because I know some of my portions are messed up. I don't eat enough protein, so I'm sure this will give me some ideas. Thanks again!
I'm crossing my fingers for a great beta! I can't wait to hear from you once you get all settled in.

deborah - Thanks so much for the support and the Peachy pics!! I can never feel badly after seeing her sweet face. I wish we lived closer to we could get our pups together. I have a feeling my Lola would LOVE Peachy. Also, I think she definitely is the worlds sweetest lap dog!

chicajones - Thanks for the support. Hearing everyones comments have really made me feel like my feelings are valid about this. I was worried I was being over sensitive, but I really couldn't believe this diet plan. I will definitely be sticking to a much healthier plan and will be talking to my doctor. Even if it takes a bit longer to lose the weight and we have to put off IVF for a little while, at least I won't be putting our eventual baby at risk by messing up my body so badly.
Wow, 8 weeks already! Time does fly by. Some people just don't get as many symptoms as others. My mom told me she was never nauseous through either of her pregnancies. Maybe you're just lucky! I know it's normal to be worried, especially when you're coming from a background of infertility, but it sounds like things are going very well so far. I'm so excited for you!

Cait - thank you, and I plan to ignore everything he said. The idea of dropping 7-15 pounds in a week sounds wonderful, but like you said, it really is asking for trouble. I really appreciate that you are all here for me and so supportive. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful group of ladies to share this journey with, although I do wish that none of you had to be here.
I'm so sorry things aren't going the way we all wanted for you. I hope the appointment gives you some answers and solid plans. I really want you to get your BFP and be able to move on from all of this. I'm so glad your cousins girls made you a card. You deserve one too. The rose from dh was also so sweet. I hate that you feel like you've failed him because it's not the case at all, but I know how hard the struggle is. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. Please be gentle with yourself.

[Sourire]

toothfairy - urg! I hate that your cycle is still doing all that crap. This wasn't supposed to happen! I wanted you to have textbook cycles from now on! I hope next month is better. I also felt kind of crappy on mother's day. DH and I took my MIL out for dinner and the restaurant gave MIL and I both flowers for mother's day... when the waiter gave me the flower he said "I don't know if you have kids but here's a flower anyways". For some reason it upset me. MIL saw the look on my face and put both flowers away where I couldn't see them, which made me feel better!

shesaidboom - I'm glad you're looking into reporting that dietitian. He sounds like a menace to society! I feel bad for all the people who aren't as smart as you and actually follow that fool's advice.

Sila - my fingers are crossed that the Clomid will work well even though it's early!

Question for anyone who's had a lap: how long did it take your belly button to heal? It's been almost 3 weeks since my lap and my 2 lower incisions are just little red marks on my skin now, but my belly button is getting more gross every day and its disturbing me. I still have scabs in there and now I've started having this gooey white stuff and it keeps oozing clear liquid and it smells bad (like toe jam). Yuck!!!

AFM - There are so many pregnant people around me! Luckily many are IF success stories so I'm not as jealous as I am with other people. I've been exchanging emails with DH's cousin who is 15 weeks pregnant with twins... she started TTC at the exact same time I did and got pregnant at the same fertility clinic I go to while doing IUIs with Puregon which is what I'll be doing next month! She's got me all excited about my upcoming IUI :)

I'm also kind of worried about my SIL... she has PCOS and it took her a while to get pregnant. Now she's 32 weeks and her doctor is pressuring her to do a C-section in the next few weeks due to low amniotic fluid and small size... even though the baby is responding perfectly normally to non-stress tests and the heartrate is normal and everything else looks perfect. The doctor has already told her that there's no way he's letting her go past 37 weeks. She's been getting steroid injections for a few weeks already to prepare the baby's lungs for premature delivery. It just makes me cringe to see a family member have a doctor go all high-intervention and she is just going along with it all and not really questioning the doctor much (I would sure as heck be asking more questions because I know measurements of amniotic fluid and size are notoriously inaccurate).

[Gemmine]

Sourire: Wow, Stage III! Oh how awful about the painful AF! I am so hoping the lap cleared the way for you two. I'll be extra stalky these next 2 cycles of yours!

krunchy: Thinking sticky thoughts! Betas are awfully stressful, often for no reason.

hope: Wheeeee that's an AWESOME number.

Sila: I'm sorry about AF. This sucks. I am still so hopeful for you.

Hi Cait! Thinking about you often.

[lilacvioletiris]

Sila - sorry about AF coming.  I was hoping for a BFP for you.  I have had the grey/tan piece of something during AF - yep, had it, every now and then, not sure what it is and never considered it before now

krunchyk - congrats on your BFP!  Hope that little bean baby sticks around.

AFM, looked at DH stuff under the microscope last night - still nothing.  This Friday is his retest for semen analysis and FSH, LH, prolactin, and testosterone. I just want some answers so we can move on!

[hope4light]

monkey - HI!  Hope moving went well!

krunchy - I'm sitting on my hands because I am so jittery wanting to hear how the beta went!  I hope hope hope it was at least 165.  Ohhhh I hope all is good!

chica - yeah 8 weeks!  I'm I bet all is good!!

tf2b - I'm sorry that this is a rough cycle, you haven't failed DH!  Try to take care of yourself honey.  Let us know how the appt goes on Friday.  Remind me who this one is with?

Sila - Yeah clomid!!  Keeping my fingers crossed that you're body will have no problem responding.

shesaidboom - Wow, fruit is bad for you?  OK, seriously, it's not like the egg thing (good for you!  Bad for you!  Good for you again!!).  Fruit has always been a staple and always good for you!  Yes, it has a lot of natural sugars, but come on, bad for you?!  Your feelings ARE valid, I promise.  He's a quack.

Sourire - I'm sorry about the flower thing.  It's good that your MIL caught on and handled it like a pro.  I'm hoping that you'll have the same success story as DH's cousin!!  On your SIL though, I hate that docs push so hard for things like that.  She needs to make sure that she's being a champion for herself and only letting it happen if it needs to.  I know that when I had been in labor with my DD for about 22 hours, the ob mentioned c section and I said no, not unless you can show me it's medically necessary.  We didn't have it, and 7 hours later she was born vaginally.  OB's sometimes just jump the gun, don't want to deal with long labors, don't want to take what the feel MAY be a chance... it ticks me off.  Last - sounds like your belly button may be infected.  I'd talk to the doc, they may need to give you an antibiotic to get over it.

Gem - HI!

lilac - Oh no.  Boo.  If I remember correctly you said before that he isn't interested in TESE, right?  So will you move to donor sperm and do IUI's if the numbers are still not there?

Edited by hope4light - 5/16/12 at 1:15pm

[krunchyk]

Still not internet! Blargh! I need to post and run. I'm getting my hair cut with a new stylist.  Scary. 

The beta was good not great.  140 with a doubling time of 66 hours.  Still within normal, but definitely not outstanding.  Next beta is Friday and we are hoping for a number between 385 and 560.  Fingers crossed.

Also, Sourire, I had laproscopic removal of my gallbladder and the belly button healed up as quickly as the other incisions.  I don't like the sound of bad smelling discharge!! 

[deborahbgkelly]

Shesaidboom- Unfortunately, Peachy is not a fan of other dogs, but we are working on it. She was a street dog in Yuma, AZ so my guess is that something happened there that made her concerned about other dogs. I'm glad she could make you smile on the tough days. She adores people! Krunchy- My beta with the twins was 148 (beta had nothing to do with my loss) and I was told anything 100 or above is good.

*Edited for typo.

Edited by deborahbgkelly - 5/18/12 at 1:00am

[lilacvioletiris]

hope4light, DH would prefer no invasion of the boys, but if it is possible we might do it.  It just costs so much money.  We don't know about genetic testing yet (have to ask the urologist next week) and we may be heading to a second urolgist who specializes in Male Reproductive Medicine depending on results from the blood tests.

[zenquaker]

Sila, Fx that this is the right protocol for you! Be sure to keep us posted on how you're feeling.

Lilac, I hope you get some answers. Sometimes I almost wish for abnormal results just so that I KNOW what I'm up against.

AFM, 7 dpo in the boring and slow-as-molasses 2ww. CD21 test results for progesterone, prolactin, and FSH were all normal. So that's good, but . . . see above Next month we're planning to go on the same trip as last year, the one on which I conceived last and ended in m/c. I'm feeling wistful and sad about that, but of course hoping that I am newly pregnant by the time we leave. Wishful thinking.

Anyone have experience w/ alternative collection methods for semen analysis? Looking ahead to possible options if we have to go that route, as hubs is not comfortable w/ standard procedure.

Ladies, I know I don't comment much but I love reading your updates and following you stories. It makes me feel not so alone.

One last thing: hells bells but that is a CRAZY, unhealthy diet. Fresh, whole foods, mostly plants, and joyful movement is all you need! All advice to the contrary is just noise.

[hope4light]

lilac - I'm surprised that this urologist wasn't one who specialized.  Interesting.  I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you guys!!

zen - you're 1/2 way there!!!  I hate that so many couples are dealing with undiagnosed.  It's crap.  There should be a machine that just analyzes us all and spits out a diagnosis.  There is obviously SOMETHING keeping everyone from getting pregnant!!!  I know our very first SA we did at home (lived close to the hospital we had it run at) and then drove like a bat out of hell with it under my arm to keep it body temp.  I think it has to be there in like 20 or 40 minutes or something though.  Is that what you mean by 'standard' meaning doesn't want to do it at the docs office?  Or, doesn't want to have to be the one to GET the sample?

AFM - Well, I'm going to do it.  Sila, please go ahead and move me to graduates.  I will continue to lurk and hang around to see all my support team get their BFP's as they are so deserved.  Had our u/s today, there is one beautiful little bean in there with a nice strong heartbeat of 118.  Estimated due date is January 7.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for everyone, and Sila, I'm sorry again that my threadkeepers luck hasn't passed on to you yet.  Maybe it was hanging out for the cycle that 'ends' in June!  you just need a little more time of baby dust coming your way from everyone.

  Hugs to everyone, I want so bad for you all to join us over at the grads thread, sooner versus later!!  LOVE TO MY GIRLS!

[Smilesarefree]

Hi all,  Back from my long awaited Doctor apt.  Beside the fact that I had to wait over an hour to be seen it went pretty well.  She looked over my previous blood work and dh's SA.  She is sending me for some more blood work, some things that my family doctor missed, things that can give her a better idea if I am facing premature menopause, so Day 3 testing - FSH, LH, DHEAS, estradiol, TSH, and prolactin, also doing day 21 progesterone testing too.  And she is also going to do a HSG.  Of course I need my period to show up before I can get the blood work or the hsg done.  I'm on cd75 now so she gave me a prescription for provera, 10mg for 10 days.  She said that my period could come while I am still taking it or a few days after I am finished, question, I assume that if af comes and I am not finished taking them I stop taking them?  I don't really want to take the provera, I'm not sure why I just feel like I am messing with my already messed up body but I don't think that I have the patience to wait it out much longer.  The last time af disappeared on me she was gone for 106 days.   So I will most likely start taking it tomorrow, any common side effects with provera?????  Anyways DH's swimmers were in good shape, he had 2 SA's done 1 week apart, his motility in one of the SA's was only 30% but because it was fine in the other SA she was not concerned, she said that if they sat a little too long before being analysed that that could affect their motililty.  So at least it seems it is only one of us that has an issue.  She talked about getting me to take clomid after she has a look at my lady parts via HSG.  Not sure how I feel about that either, I know it is a starting point but I feel that it will be waste of time.  I guess we'll have to wait and see if my blood work does indicate early menopause and then go from there.

Also Sourire - I'd get that incision checked out asap if I were you.

[SilaMarila]

Smiles - I've done Provera twice. If you do get AF while taking it, call your doctor and see what they recommend. The first time I just took 7 days and AF came 17 days later!!! Ugh. The second time I took 10 days and started spotting the day of my last dose, so I took it and got full AF 2 days later. From what I googled online it seemed best to just finish the Provera even though I was spotting. Side effects...I mean it's a synthetic progesterone so after it gets into your system you pretty feel like you do during your LP. Moody towards the end and INSANELY eat-everything-in-the-house hungry a few days before AF arrives for me. I'm glad you'll be doing all the blood work!

[toothfairy2be]

Sourire- your belly needs to be checked. Stinky cheese belly button is no good my friend! All 3 of mine look the same, little red dashes. Get yourself some antibiotics chica.

smiles- It sounds like this new doctor has a good grip on testing so not long now before you can get some real answers. I would think if you haven't had any sign of ovulation that you shouldn't start AF before you are done the Provera. As good as it is that DH is healthy so you are only fighting one battle, it is still stinky to be the one that needs fixing. I would personally ask her for Femara instead of Clomid if you do decide to take something, just my opinion.

lilac- testing tomorrow? I'm suprised too you weren't sent to a specialist from the get - go. I know you've been monitoring on your own so you know what to expect. After going through surgery myself, you better believe DH would be under the knife to find some swimmers if need be (he would 100% disagree with this, but I'll tell ya--- he would be under the knife).

sila- did you start your clomid yet? Let the crazies begin!

hope- yay for being an official grad!

AFM- Thanks all for the support. AF came yesterday and my mood has improved. I really do get a funk right before AF- PMS I guess. My cramps were terrible yesterday. Add it to the list of crappy things about last cycle. Doctor appointment tomorrow. Looking forward to hearing what he thinks about everything.

[monkeyscience]

smiles - I don't really remember having any symptoms on Provera, and I took it several times. Other than some moodiness, maybe. But I was super-stressed with work anyway, so it's hard to say. Prometrium, on the other hand, gave me horrendous vertigo. Every time I took Provera, it took 5 days for AF to start after I took the last pill. And that was when I took 8, 9, or 10 pills. (Yeah... I got impatient with waiting, so I started taking fewer pills - it never changed the time from last pill to AF.) I totally understand the not-wanting-to-mess-with things mentality, and I wish a little I hadn't taken Provera/Prometrium so many times. But with your history of extremely long gaps between AF, and especially since you suspect premature menopause, I think the benefits outweigh the risks. Hope you get some more answers soon!