May Chit Chat « Back to Group Discussions

[Jaimee]

September

LunaLady- Christina: 9/19, baby boy Rhyko

October

Meb2- Morgan: 10/27, baby boy Ezra Ryan was born at 6:46 PM

TTCChloeorConner- Nicole: 10/31 baby boy Conner Dean, 8lbs2oz. 20'' long. 6:14pm

Early November

Seraf- Sara: 11/1, baby boy Shay born in the car, 8lb14oz

Mal85- Mallory: 11/2, baby girl Greta

EonJourney- Nicole: 11/3, identical twin boys Ember Trail 5.7 oz and Roam Freely 5.6 oz

SoCaliMommy- Kami: 11/4 baby boy Harlan Drake,  6:48pm at 10lbs even 21 1/2"

MrsKatie- Katie: 11/10, baby girl Catherine Anne was born at 1:21pm.  7lbs 10oz and 21 inches long. 

Mid November

Jill the Pill- Jill: 11/11, baby girl Audrey Catharine 6lbs 5oz 19 inches long

miriam_bat_avraham- Julie: 11/11, twin girls

TalkToMeNow- Amanda: 11/12, baby boy Jasper Conley, 12:42 pm,  8 lbs 11 oz.

Paigekitten- Katie: 11/12, baby girl Eowyn Jane, 6:09 pm, 8 lbs 3.9 oz, 21 inches

KayPea- Kirsten: 11/13, baby boy Oren Edward Adams, 5:45pm, 9lbs 11oz, 21 in long, 15in head!

wellforth - Carey: 11/15, baby boy Luca Qrzwin, 9:52 p.m., at home natural waterbirth, 7lbs9oz, 22"

LiLStar- Rachel: 11/16, baby boy Evan Curtis, 11 lbs, 15" head

Xakana- : 11/16, baby girl Katarina Xylia, 11:42am, weighing 8lbs, 13oz, 20"

Krystal323- Krystal: 11/18, baby boy Oliver Davis, UC

IwannaBanRN- Becky: 11/19, baby boy Levi Jaxon, 10:50am, UC

jhsmama11-Amber: 11/19, baby boy Jack Henry

Late November

jbk21- J: 11/24, baby boy Dylan Timothy born in the caul

Motivated Mama- Nina: 11/24, baby

dashley111- Ash:  11/24, baby girl Bettie Grey, 7:03pm, 7lbs15oz, 21"

birdhappy85- Joanie:  11/24, baby girl Sora Nina, 3:39pm, 7lb 6oz, 19-1/2 in long

ZippyGirl- Anthia:  11/24, baby boy Bode McGuire born at 6:14 a.m.

glassesgirlnj - Kathy: 11/28, baby girl Annamaria Sigyn Estelle, 7lbs even, 19.75 in, 8:09pm

KaliShanti- Kali: 11/29, baby boy Enoch Noble Grandison , 8 lbs 7 oz. 21.25 in, 11:45pm

December

abraisme- Abra: 12/1, baby girl Coralie Katherine, 8lbs1oz, 19.75", 2pm

Jaimee: 12/3, baby boy Avery River, 6lbs14oz, 21", 4:21pm

Edited by Jaimee - 5/1/12 at 3:11pm

[Jaimee]

Happy May day y'all!   If your name is not on the list, just post your info to have it added!

[dashley111]

Everyone is so quiet

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by dashley111 

Everyone is so quiet

I am unable to access MDC on my phone. Noooooooo! I rarely get on my laptop. Curses!

Ugh... I'm having issues with my soon to be 10 yr old. She went camping with her girl scout troop this weekend and it was a non-stop drama-fest. I guess that's what 10 yr old girls do... But my dd had two major, screaming, kicking meltdowns over the weekend. I don't know how many of you know about 10 yos, but that is not age appropriate. At all. If she keeps this up, she is going to be a social outcast. I really don't know what to do for her. She's had issues since, well.. birth. She has sensory processing disorder (or whatever it is called... focusing on the diagnosis does no good, so I don't). She has issues with reading social cues. She is highly gifted. She is emotionally immature. Anyway, for the first time ever she has actual friends this year. However, kids are mean and middle school is fast approaching. People will not be able to look past her meltdowns and other weird behavior anymore. Sigh. I am at a complete loss and very sad for her. 

I talked to her for a long time yesterday. She claims that she freaks out because she is very angry. She is very angry because "people are stupid." WTH?? I should add that her dad has Aspergers, is a total social outcast, a genius, and does indeed feel that most people are stupid. Lovely, right? I'm guessing she is taking after him. Therapy is not an option because she sees it as a punishment now. She went for a while, but the last time I took her she refused to talk during any of the sessions. 

Okay, vent done... I just don't know what to do. School is going to be awful for her if she can't get it together. Middle school is pretty much the center of hell. 

ETA: I am really quite sweet and very gentle with her IRL about this. I probably sound harsh on here... I'm not! Just so everyone knows... I'm not yelling at her, "Get it together, weirdo!" Promise. It's more like, "Sweetie, can we talk about these big feelings you have that make you meltdown? What are some ways I can help you cope?" 

Edited by TalkToMeNow - 5/1/12 at 10:01am

[Jaimee]

Amanda, I'm sorry you and your dd are going through this!  I think you're a very good mother to worry about upcoming middle school and try to equip her with tools now.  She'll need a few years of practice before dealing with the sh*t that is middle school.  So you know she has SPD... have you done OT with her recently?  Even a few sessions might give you two some tools that you can use at home.  There are also quite a few support groups around that would be full of other suggestions for SPD and I know the ladies over in the special needs forum have advice as well.  I'm sure the last thing you want to be doing is driving to another appointment once or twice a week, but if she doesn't have some coping skills I can only imagine things getting harder for her as the girl drama get worse as the hormones kick in.  Oh how I hated middle school...

[glassesgirlnj]

Can you add me to the list?

glassesgirlnj - Kathy: 11/28, baby girl Annamaria Sigyn Estelle, 7lbs even, 19.75 in, 8:09pm

TalkToMeNow, I don't have any older children, so I'm sorry I can't really help with you and your DD.  Have you noticed her behavior changing since your youngest was born?  How much time does she spend around your DSD, and has that relationship changed at all recently?

I was also a tween in a gifted program, with a lot of social-skills issues, and I remember feeling best when I was encouraged to pursue my talents and interests (writing was a BIG one for me).  In what ways does your DD's giftedness manifest itself?

[Jaimee]

Thanks for adding yourself, Kathy!

[CDsMom1031]

Happy May! T-Minus 21 days until we get keys to our house!!!

I was also in TAG (Talented and gifted) when I was a kid. They wanted to bump me up to 4th grade when I was in 2nd grade, but my parents refused because of the social aspect of it. I came around. I found myself. I learned to make the best of what I had to offer, that being my smarts, my sense of humor, and my DGAF attitude because EVERYONE REALLY IS STUPID. LOL!!! I ended up okay. I was actually pretty popular. Hang in there. Support her, help her where you can, and let her find herself. It'll all work out.

I heard that the bottom teeth come in pairs? Le sigh. I think Conner's second one is trying to pop through. Can we say NEEDY?  He's pulling himself and scooting around like a champ. He STILL won't roll belly to back for me though. =( All he wants to do is STAND!

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by Jaimee 

Amanda, I'm sorry you and your dd are going through this!  I think you're a very good mother to worry about upcoming middle school and try to equip her with tools now.  She'll need a few years of practice before dealing with the sh*t that is middle school.  So you know she has SPD... have you done OT with her recently?  Even a few sessions might give you two some tools that you can use at home.  There are also quite a few support groups around that would be full of other suggestions for SPD and I know the ladies over in the special needs forum have advice as well.  I'm sure the last thing you want to be doing is driving to another appointment once or twice a week, but if she doesn't have some coping skills I can only imagine things getting harder for her as the girl drama get worse as the hormones kick in.  Oh how I hated middle school...

Thanks, Jaimee. I have not done OT with her in several years. I'm fairly certain she would refuse to go or participate. At some point, she equated any form of therapy with being different and she sees it as a punishment. I talked to her a bit yesterday about middle school for me. It wasn't torture, but I was made fun of some. Also, I had very few friends. I was the quiet girl in glasses reading at the lunch table. She said, "But mom, I'm not like you!" I wanted to tell her that she is right; I was just nerdy and quiet. She actually has issues! Obviously, I did not. 

Girl drama is out of control. It is so ridiculous. I have been dreading it for years. She can not for the life of her understand why people would be mean to each other. Also, she is incredibly literal. She believes what people tell her, even when they are obviously lying. 

I thought she was getting better as she has friends this year. Before this, no friends really. She had one girl that would come over last year, but wasn't a good friend at all. Poor dd would make best friend cards and necklaces and bracelets for her before she would come over. The girl wouldn't even bother to say thanks or take them with her. It broke my heart, but I couldn't find it in me to tell her that this girl did not think of her as her best friend. Anyway, now she seems to have friends with similar interests.

Quote:

Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj 

Can you add me to the list?

glassesgirlnj - Kathy: 11/28, baby girl Annamaria Sigyn Estelle, 7lbs even, 19.75 in, 8:09pm

TalkToMeNow, I don't have any older children, so I'm sorry I can't really help with you and your DD.  Have you noticed her behavior changing since your youngest was born?  How much time does she spend around your DSD, and has that relationship changed at all recently?

I was also a tween in a gifted program, with a lot of social-skills issues, and I remember feeling best when I was encouraged to pursue my talents and interests (writing was a BIG one for me).  In what ways does your DD's giftedness manifest itself?

No real behavior change after the baby. If anything, her behavior has improved as she feels responsible when she helps out with the baby. Dsd spends a lot of time in her room, but they get along when she is out of her dungeon (lol!). Their relationship isn't super personal, like talking about friend issues, etc. Dd1 isn't in to that. She much prefers listing facts for us about the War of 1812 or quizzing us on states and capitals. Good times.

Hmmm... academically, she is gifted across the board. Her favorite thing is social studies. She is also a voracious reader of fantasy fiction. She likes to draw, and she enjoys writing short stories about fictional planets. Oh, and she likes magic. She's obsessed with Harry Potter and Star Wars. And she refuses to wear anything but jeans, boys' shorts, converse, and t-shirts for HP, Star Wars, and other nerdy things. While we can look at this as adults and see that her interests are nerdy but cool, these are not the interests of a kid who will have an easy go of it in middle school. I'm being completely honest here. I think she is the coolest kid around, but it is going to be tough for her even *without* the meltdowns. 

Sorry I'm going on and on... I just wish I could zap my poor baby straight to age 17. Also, I don't want to go to jail for beating up a kid who teases her! (joking...)

[Mal85]

Amanda, I always felt like I was kind of a weird kid too. I always had friends, but for a long time my group of friends changed every year. I didn't feel like I had a real place to belong, I was just hopping from group to group. It wasn't until after high school that the group of friends I have now formed. It's weird because we all went to school together. I was friends with some of them in childhood and we lost touch through middle school/high school. One of them, I was good friends with in high school, then we went 5 years without talking because of silly high school drama. We all came together after we were out of school and have a pretty tight group now. 

Nicole, for us all teeth have come in pairs! DD1 always got two at a time. Greta has her bottom two and is working on the top two now. Constant chewing, biting anything she can get in her mouth, fussiness, the works! I've been using teething tablets here and there. It seems to especially help her when she needs some sleep.

Speaking of sleep, Greta is doing amazing lately! I just couldn't take cosleeping anymore. Our sleep has been crap for months. So, I've started putting her back in the crib after she nurses and she's going much longer stretches now. Of course, I say this and watch tonight will be horrible! We have also had 5 nights of success with our 3 year old putting herself to sleep instead of one of us laying down with her. Yay us!

[CDsMom1031]

Originally Posted by Mal85 

Amanda, I always felt like I was kind of a weird kid too. I always had friends, but for a long time my group of friends changed every year. I didn't feel like I had a real place to belong, I was just hopping from group to group. 

I was the same way. I also got uprooted when I was 15, so all of the "clicks" had already been established by the time I came in halfway through my Sophomore year.

Speaking of sleep, Greta is doing amazing lately! I just couldn't take cosleeping anymore. Our sleep has been crap for months. So, I've started putting her back in the crib after she nurses and she's going much longer stretches now. Of course, I say this and watch tonight will be horrible! We have also had 5 nights of success with our 3 year old putting herself to sleep instead of one of us laying down with her. Yay us!

YAY!!!

[ZippyGirl]

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 

Just so everyone knows... I'm not yelling at her, "Get it together, weirdo!" Promise.

While your post is totally not funny, this quote made me laugh so hard, I woke up DS.  I have no good words of advice, other than to say at least you do have a sense of humor about the whole situation!  I know it's so irritating when people have magic bullet advice (i.e., trying "x" will magically change "y" behavior), but I had a friend who went through dealing with severe emotional outbursts with her nine-year-old.  She said one thing that made a big difference was managing candida overgrowth.  Probably is not what you are dealing with, but in case someone has a similar situation for a child of any age and does not know where to start, it might be something to look into.  Good luck and many hugs to you!

Jaimee, could you add me as well to the roll call:  ZippyGirl:  11/24, baby boy Bode McGuire born at 6:14 a.m.

[ZippyGirl]

Late November

jbk21- J: 11/24, baby boy Dylan Timothy born in the caul

I must have missed this at some point, but how cool that Dylan was born in the caul!!!!! 

[wellforth]

Could you add me:  wellforth - Carey:  baby boy Luca Qrzwin, born 11-15-11, 9:52 p.m., at home natural waterbirth, 7 lbs., 9 ounces, 22" long.

My daughter has previously had pretty horrible meltdowns in the past, though she's gotten way better the last few years.  She's 11.5 now.  I just wanted to suggest homeschooling as an option for your daughter, as opposed to public middle school.  I think everyone hated middle school, no matter how popular they were.  It just sucks.  If your daughter is intelligent, I imagine she would be able to handle learning at home (though there is a wide variety of how homeschooling is done).  We're involved in several homeschooling groups for social outlets, and I must say, I'm so impressed with how wonderful these kids are to each other.  Yes, 13 year old boys being sweet and nice as can be to 11 year old girls because, welll, why wouldn't they?

Also, if she's not ready to do anything different, suggesting that no different results are going to be reached, I would suggest continuing to be the supportive concerned mom that you are.  I can only imagine the difference it will make to her as she grows up, even if her ability to handle her social life continues on the crap spectrum. 

carey

p.s.  Luca's front bottom teeth are near to popping through.  We've had two nights of only 3-4 nursing sessions (down from 8-9), and he's slept in til 7 a.m. two days in a row.  I hope this is a phase, a very very long phase.

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by ZippyGirl 

I must have missed this at some point, but how cool that Dylan was born in the caul!!!!! 

Oh gosh, thanks!  I have been remembering his birth story quite a bit lately, and giving thanks for it.  It was so wonderful, peaceful, and easy.  We did some filming for our birth center for an informational video for their website, and it was the first time I had talked about the birth in a while.  It was nice.

I miss birth stories!  Sara do you feel like Sara is getting close?

[dashley111]

Oh Amanda, that must be so tough   How does *she* feel about her social situation?  Does she seem to notice she is different?  More importantly, does she seem to CARE? 

I spent a few long years caring for my nephew who sounds very similar.  Me and his mom were always so worried about what he peers were thinking of him and how he acted.  One day it dawned on us that he just did not care, even a little.  It bothered us way more than it bothered him.  One of the only upsides to him not picking up on social cues was his complete lack of understanding of the sarcasm people used when they talked to him...he sincerely had NO idea the other kids thought he was strange, and even if he did we really doubt he would care. 

[TalkToMeNow]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Carey, I will always have the homeschooling option in the back of my mind if things get rough.

Ash, good question... she knows that she acts different. She knows the other kids don't have the freak outs. She knows they don't scream because their shoes are bothering them. She also knows that she can not keep up physically with kids her age and that she struggles with things like typing. But, typically this stuff doesn't bother her! Every once in a while, she gets frustrated, but not because of what other kids think. It's weird... when she is interacting with other kids, she sometimes gets upset. But it isn't an emotional, you hurt my feelings upset... it's more of getting upset because she thinks their behavior is wrong. They aren't following "the rules". (She loves rules.) 

I think I worry about it much more than she does. I guess I just worry about what might happen in the future... 

[Abraisme]

My DS is a lot like this.  While he's never had a diagnosis, I'm pretty sure that he has a mild processing issue.  He seems totally unaware that anyone might be judging him in any way.  However, he's super social and loves attention.  He's always had friends because he wants to be around people so much.  I kind of suspect that he'll have to figure things out though or people aren't going to want to be his friend.  He gets hurt super easily and screams, which is offensive to most people.  He also is really into 'the rules' and tries to micromanage people.  One of the reasons that I pulled him out of school is because he was getting in fights trying to make other kids follow the rules (I know, right?). 

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Carey, I will always have the homeschooling option in the back of my mind if things get rough.

Ash, good question... she knows that she acts different. She knows the other kids don't have the freak outs. She knows they don't scream because their shoes are bothering them. She also knows that she can not keep up physically with kids her age and that she struggles with things like typing. But, typically this stuff doesn't bother her! Every once in a while, she gets frustrated, but not because of what other kids think. It's weird... when she is interacting with other kids, she sometimes gets upset. But it isn't an emotional, you hurt my feelings upset... it's more of getting upset because she thinks their behavior is wrong. They aren't following "the rules". (She loves rules.) 

I think I worry about it much more than she does. I guess I just worry about what might happen in the future... 

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by Abraisme 

My DS is a lot like this.  While he's never had a diagnosis, I'm pretty sure that he has a mild processing issue.  He seems totally unaware that anyone might be judging him in any way.  However, he's super social and loves attention.  He's always had friends because he wants to be around people so much.  I kind of suspect that he'll have to figure things out though or people aren't going to want to be his friend.  He gets hurt super easily and screams, which is offensive to most people.  He also is really into 'the rules' and tries to micromanage people.  One of the reasons that I pulled him out of school is because he was getting in fights trying to make other kids follow the rules (I know, right?). 

I totally understand this. They think, the teacher said we do this, so we do it. It is very confusing when other kids don't do it. Not following the rules confuses her a lot. She used to have problems in PE because she would stop in the middle of a game to yell at kids who were breaking the rules. Sigh. She also has a lot of funny rules for herself... like, a shirt has buttons all the way up so it must be buttoned all the way up. Shirt rules, duh! I'm like, "Mabel, why don't you loosen up a bit with that top button?" "No, Mom, I like it like this." Quirky kids... 

[seraf]

Sara's water broke at 2:30 am. We are at the hospital now. I will update when the baby is born.