I'd say that's a good response! I would've retreated, cried in secret, and taken a blow to my self-esteem if someone said that to me as a kid. The fact that your daughter responded back with what I'd say is rather assertive for a 10-year-old says to me that she is a pretty strong kid. Is she upset after-the-fact or still doing well with it?
You are right. I am realizing that I need to step way back... I am letting my past cause me to worry about something that is not that big of a deal to my dd. When she told me that, it was very matter of fact. After she said it, she laughed and said, "Can you believe she got so upset over *that*??" Clearly, dd was not devastated. At her age, I never would have told my mom if someone was mean to me. I'd have been too embarrassed... I'd have thought it was another example of my complete failure as a kid. I'm going to try to chill and not get so involved until/ if it starts bothering her. Though I can already tell she won't be having any sleepovers anytime soon... she doesn't see it, but the other girls seem to be taking some time off from her right now. I guess it's a good thing that she can't tell?? My dh thinks I should explain it to her, but I'm not so sure. She had me invite a girl over this weekend, and I knew they would make up an excuse even before I did it. I emailed anyway. Blah.
And, I'm still going on! I'm sorry!! I think this stuff is just bringing up issues from my childhood. You'd think they'd be resolved after 20 years, right? Ha. Plus, now I'm sure that when I'm around the other moms they are thinking I'm an awful mom. You know, because my kid has issues. Sigh. Oh well, they're pretty bitchy anyway. Probably saying, "Well, you can see why. Can you believe she had her when she was 21!? And, the parents are divorced. Did you know they rent!?" Sadly, I'm not kidding.