I am so heartbroken and disappointed as I write this :( For the last several months my husband and I have been thinking of sending our kids to Montessori school, and I thought we were on the same page in terms of wanting the kids to go.
I manage the family finances, and this week I brought him up to speed on the budget and where I see our savings account headed as both children enter school. I told him I would likely need to get a job for three years once both kids are in school, but that during the 4th year I wouldn't need to work anymore because our student loans will be paid off by then.
I used conservative estimates and did not factor in any promotions or raises for DH (though one of these is likely in the next 4 years where he works), and did not include the potential $1K in savings by using a Flexible Spending program towards tuition costs.
I looked at the numbers and felt optimistic - he looked at them and freaked out saying there was absolutely no way we could afford it!
He said our nest egg will be too small in our savings account, that he doesn't think we'll have as much saved as I anticipate because of life's incidentals and things that may come up, and that he doesn't want to live "paycheck to paycheck" as he put it just to afford fancy private school for the kids. He said it seems like we're trying to live as though we are rich when really we're just middle class.
We are going to discuss it more in July when we find out if he's getting the raise he might be up for. But for now I am just so devastated!
I am willing to make the sacrifices to send them and am willing to go to work. He doesn't feel the same way.
I feel as though, instead of working to send my kids to a good school that would make them happiest, my role would shift into that of a stay-at-home mom who struggles to help her children cope with the difficulties of being in a public school environment (homework and grades, pressure to sit at a desk all day, teaching to the test, no child left behind, etc.).
I am currently doing a little homeschool preschool program and have realized that I just do not see myself being able to homeschool long term AT ALL. I really just do not see myself doing it, and I feel like I'm failing my children by admitting that I am incapable of pulling it together to homeschool them and must therefore send them to public school. I even have a network of friends who homeschool and who share similar ideals, and yet I'm still struggling to follow through on the simple Waldorf-based preschool activities!
I don't know what I'm looking for by writing this post. I guess I'm hoping for someone to come up with a brilliant idea for how I can afford school, or how I can convince my husband that we can make it work. Or similar stories of people that felt this way in the beginning but ended up making it work. Even stories of people who had to put children in public school and found their children were still happy and healthy and un-pressured.