Warning: Unsolicited Advice Below
|Originally posted by hnybee
This whole experience has left a bad taste in my mouth. I am afraid to go see her. I don't want to let my true emotions show thru because she needs my support and encouragment right now. I didn't go visit her today. Every time I think about her and her tragic birth, I start to cry. And I don't want her to see my like this. Am I over reacting? (I am premenstrual right now )
Get as much of your rage and disappointment out here first. Then go see your friend ASAP, even if it's only for 15 minutes, then you can bow out to give her time to 'rest.'
|"How are you doing?"
"How is the baby?"
"How can I help?"
"When are you coming home?"
"What can I bring next time?"
"I was so worried but thank goodness everything turned out for the best."
There. That wasn't so bad, was it?
In all seriousness though, don't procrastinate too long on this. Your friend is lying in a hospital bed recovering from major abdominal surgery. If she had a tumor surgically removed instead of a baby, you wouldn't hesitate to visit. Outside, she may be acting brave and excited, but inside she's feeling overwhelmed and defeated. Ok, maybe I'm projecting a bit, but then again, maybe you are too? Do you really imagine she doesn't want to see you unless you can maintain a perfect facade of joy and enthusiasm? C'mon. She's plenty distracted by recent events, and more importantly, she's drugged. Your normal poker face will do fine. Besides, this is a new mother, after all. You'll be lucky if you get a word in edgewise. If you can stick to questions like the ones suggested above, you won't have to worry about letting something slip, i.e., "that arrogant butcher" or "this hell-hole" or "medical atrocity" etc. Oh, and one last thing. If during your visit the good Dr A'hole should saunter in looking smug and modest, resist the urge to thank him out loud for not killing your friend or her child, and instead ask for his card saying you want to recommend him. He doesn't have to know what for.