Hey guys, I have been having a little scare recently and wanted to know your thoughts. I hope you don't mind, I just have a lot on my mind and don't know how to talk to the people around me about it yet.
So I am really worried lately about going into labor prematurely. I have been really tired, baby has already dropped now, and I feel lots of twinges in my cervix / lower uterus. Not to mention that I have had some contractions that have been downright painful, and haven't stopped for 15-20 minutes at a time. You guys may remember that I posted a while back about once when the baby engaged and I was having contractions while in bed? Well, that is happening a lot more often. I talked to my midwife about it and she thinks that all the stress I have been having at work is probably contributing to it a lot, and that I need to take some time off and rest and possibly consider going to part time instead of full time for the remainder of the pregnancy. It sounds so tempting, and I definitely don't want to have the baby early, but I am so very torn.
Perhaps I should add that my mother was born at 32 weeks, too. I was born by c-section at 36 weeks because of my mother's lupus. I am currently 30 weeks along.
Anyway, I am so, so busy at work, and am extremely stressed. I just finished a really big project, but have three grants going out in June, one going out at the end of May, and several grant progress reports / closeouts to get done in May / June. And I do Executive Assistant duties on top of all that. I have no idea how I am going to try to take off or go to part time with all this, and I don't even know if my employer will let me. On top of this is the added thought that any time I take now will be time that I don't get to spend with the baby once he or she is born (12 weeks of FMLA includes time spent on bedrest and whatnot). I haven't decided if I will return to work for sure or not after baby arrives, but since I have about 2 months left (assuming I don't give birth early), I'd only have about 4 weeks to spend with baby if I went out now. :(
I just really feel like I don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to work so hard that I have the baby prematurely, but I don't know if I am allowed to take off to rest. And if I am, what about the fact that it's cutting into my time once baby is here? I have one week of vacation and one week of sick time saved up, but if I use that, it is considered part of my FMLA leave. I don't know what to do and I feel so guilty for possibly hurting my baby by being so stressed. :( I will have to decide something, and soon.
Any thoughts or advice are appreciated! Thanks for being here, guys.