I can't quite decide what to do. I will be traveling to my grandmother's funeral (death not unexpected). The service will be short (15 mins) followed by a meal. It is supposed to start around 11 am. My flight is the day before, somewhat early, and gets back the day of, quite late (11:30 pm). So, travel time is about 41 hours. I have a layover both directions. This is not work travel, so it is totally possible to bring DS2 with me. There will be 2 children at the funeral, so he wouldn't be the only one. It would obviously be more difficult for me to travel with him, schlepping all the cr*p, worrying about him getting a nap at the right time, having snacks, making sure he eats, etc. His schedule is such that he sometimes needs a morning nap, which would be good in this case, but it is not reliable. Obviously, a 19 month old lap child is not anyone's idea of a fun time. And how to get him to be quiet for a 15 min funeral service (at least it's not longer)? I'm thinking maybe a video (without audio -- wonder if that would work).
DS2 is 19 months old, relatively easygoing, and used to being with a sitter for 6 hours a day. DH puts him to bed in a crib, he usually wakes around midnight, I nurse him (this is a full session) and then co-sleep with him. He nurses a couple more times the rest of the night. He does quite well with DH in general.
We also have DS1 age 4.5 (who nursed until age 3 and whom I did not leave overnight until age 2.5), who goes to sleep in his own bed and then joins DH in the middle of the night.
DH is confident with DS1, but is worried about being the only parent in the night with both of them having needs, and DS2 experiencing his first nights without me. Most likely DS1 would wake up and go into the bed with DH, and then DH would be up the rest of the night with DS2 (DH has trouble falling back to sleep). We could consider night weaning in advance to get him used to it, but I am a bit concerned with that plan because he rarely nurses during the day and really his main nursing session is the night one (before bed most of the time and the midnight feeding). This means night weaning would likely mean total weaning, for the most part, and I don't know if we're ready.
So, I just can't figure out what is best for DS2. On the one hand, traveling with him will be very disruptive to his schedule. He will probably miss some naps, etc., and it may be challenging not having him in his bed when he is supposed to be sleeping. But, he will have me there at all times to comfort him and put him at ease. On the other hand, him staying home without me would preserve his routine but would be disruptive in that I would not come back and he would have all that time without me. The longest I have not been around him was 12 hours (a few weeks ago) and even that felt long to me! I rushed up to nurse him when I got back, even though he was already asleep .
So, I guess I'm kindof leaning towards taking him with me, but at the same time, I'm quite sure he will be just fine if I leave him with DH and it will be a non-issue for the most part. So, I'm waffling a bit! With DS1, I would have taken him, but he was just so attached to me that it would not have been a question. Plus, it's not like I will be able to take advantage of being childless and go out and enjoy myself if I leave him here, because it's a funeral for goodness' sake. Maybe I should think of it as bonding time with DS2...