Almost 5 yo, crazy behavior

[sharr610]

Hi there,

My almost 5yo boy is obviously growing and changing.  That part I understand.  After parenting him for 5 years I know the signs of developmental changes and growth spurts and such.  I know there will be backsliding.  BUT, this is behavior I feel like is beyond that. 

My son is a sweetheart, but has always been the younger one in preschool (late June bday) and as such, things like sharing and boundaries just have come later for him.  I accept this, his preschool accepts this, and while he's struggled a bit socially, he's made some good friends and seems to really enjoy his time there.

On Wednesday, his teacher pulled me aside and told me that his issues sharing had been really rough that day.  He was hoarding toys and when asked to share them just lost it.  Was completely inconsolable for close to 30 minutes.  The same thing has been happening at home and playdates with other kids.  His coping is just severly compromised. In addition we are seeing WAY backwards behavior.  Putting any and everything in his mouth, refusing to use utensils at the table, refusing to blow his nose (?!).  I know, none of these seem huge in the scheme of things, its just that when we gently ask him to do them, its an all out meltdown.  Tired?  Sure, but he's getting plenty of sleep and we cannot get him to nap during the day for the life of us.  I am starting to think its something physiological, but any mention of going to the doctor causes an all out eruption(I'm the parent, I know.  We will obviously go if this continues).  He has always been really private about pain/physical issues and refuses to tell us when things hurt.  Its really frustrating.  There are sniffles and such right now as allergy season is in high gear and I'm wondering if we need to address them.

As you can see, I'm a bit all over the place.  Just generally frustrated.  I want kid to be happy.  I know he loves school, but this is the THIRD conversation they've had with me over the year and I know they aren't super reactionary.  I can't keep putting him in situations that cause him so much frustration.  I need him to communicate with me when he's sick.  I need him to blow his nose and stop sucking it all down into his lungs and I need when I try to help make it better to feel like I am not totally violating and traumatizing him.

Home life is good.  He has a great relationship with his dad and I, although the more this continues, we are all getting stressed about it more and more and relationships are starting to fray a bit.

Any thoughts appreciated!

[prescottchels]

Have you tried instituting a "rest time" in the afternoon where he needs to stay on his bed looking at books for say 30 min or 1 hr, whatever you feel is appropriate for him? Or have some tv time where he again needs to be still on the couch...? Could also be food allergies combined w/seasonal allergies. Food allergies can definitely cause behavioral issues. Common culprits to eliminate one at a time: wheat/gluten, dairy, soy, corn, nuts, etc. or take him in for a comprehensive allergy panel where they test environmental and food allergies.

Good Luck Mama!!