Anybody else just *know* this is the last one? - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Ninetales]

Originally Posted by Thandiwe 

Jealous, lol!    You don't get lots of morning sickness or anything?

I threw up four or five times after having about eight vials of blood drawn back around five weeks.  A few times when nothing sounded good to eat.  Other than that, literally none.  If I wasn't so obviously big and couldn't feel the baby moving I swear I wouldn't know. 

But with my first, my birth was horrible.  Maybe that's the tradeoff? 

[youngspiritmom]

Originally Posted by youngspiritmom . How far along are you?

Ok ilovetchochkes, I totally had a brain fart on my previous post, and forgot I was posting in the DUE DATE CLUB thread where we are all due around the same time. Sorry for all the hard core "how to turn a breech baby" advice .....don't worry.....you are no where near the time where you have to start worrying about the breech position. If it comes closer to your due date and that baby is breech, then maybe consider some of that stuff.

[ainh]

This is our last.  I can't even believe we're having this one, to be honest.  I wasn't even excited for the first few months and thought "oh, but our family is just perfect the way it is!".  Then I got more excited, but the pregnancy has been hard on me.  I'm older and I have two kids that have some "issues", so this really feels like I'm pushing it.  I have been encouraging DH to be "the big V" during this pregnancy since we're pretty much not DTD anyway.  But...a teeny, tiny part of me thinks "I wish we could have a fourth to be a playmate for the third".  My two boys are such good playmate (most of the time) and this girl will be quite a bit younger and a different gender, so I feel like she'll be on her own :(.  But we are done.  Hubby would never tolerate another pregnancy and I don't know that my body could either.  I told my husband that if I ever mention a fourth he needs to say "varicose veins in your nether regions, varicose veins in your nether regions" and that should shut me up.   So, after all the downs and ups of this pregnancy, I am finally trying to enjoy things.  I've never liked pregnancy, but I'm going to try to appreciate the things that other people say they like (the movement, the glow, etc).  I do like that my belly is taut!  Unless I have plastic surgery this is the last time in my life that I'm going to have taut skin across my belly ;)

[Lizbiz]

This is a really interesting conversation... I don't think this is our last... but since I work more than full time - and this is our 3rd and I am the one who carries/births/nurses the kiddos... it's hitting home that it may not be the most practical idea to have 6 kiddos ;).  But I'd like a big family and so would my husband.  So I hope we can figure it out.  But I'm not a head-in-the-clouds kind of person either who thinks I can adequately parent 6 kiddos and work 50 hours a week.  Ain't gonna happen.  

But who knows - I've been struck before in my life with how limitations I really thought were in place were shattered and doors opened where I thought there were none.  I have learned time and again in the past few decades, that my own intellectual and emotional understanding of life is limited and that there is something much greater at work.  So the desire in my heart for a house full of kiddos is probably not in vain and somehow that door will open.  

So, I'll probably win the lottery and then have 10 more kids.  It could happen, right?

[ilovetchotchkes]

Originally Posted by Lizbiz 

This is a really interesting conversation... I don't think this is our last... but since I work more than full time - and this is our 3rd and I am the one who carries/births/nurses the kiddos... it's hitting home that it may not be the most practical idea to have 6 kiddos ;).  But I'd like a big family and so would my husband.  So I hope we can figure it out.  But I'm not a head-in-the-clouds kind of person either who thinks I can adequately parent 6 kiddos and work 50 hours a week.  Ain't gonna happen.  

But who knows - I've been struck before in my life with how limitations I really thought were in place were shattered and doors opened where I thought there were none.  I have learned time and again in the past few decades, that my own intellectual and emotional understanding of life is limited and that there is something much greater at work.  So the desire in my heart for a house full of kiddos is probably not in vain and somehow that door will open.  

So, I'll probably win the lottery and then have 10 more kids.  It could happen, right?

It can be done! a good friend of mine has 6 and was a nurse while her kids were growing up!!! I think if you want to do it, you'll make it work!!!! :) 

I still want a big family but unless my husband gets a 100% raise and I get a cushy job with free daycare, its not going to happen. And that's highly unlikely. 

[NewMumJoy]

I've always wanted at least 2-3 children, but unfortunately due to my age (39) this will be my first and last pregnancy, which really saddens me.  After 2 previous losses, things have been going very well this time so far and I've been relishing every minute, every kick (and every ache and pain) throughout this pregnancy.  I'm sure I could naturally conceive again and lots of people including DH are encouraging me to "keep going" but I'm just too scared of the risks involved and dread the possibility of something going wrong in my 40's.  We have plans to adopt in the future, but now that we know we're having a boy I can't stop thinking about having our own little girl to feel complete.  I know that we can fill our home/family with adopted children, but I've never accepted the idea of me having only 1 biological child.....  :(

[youngspiritmom]

Originally Posted by NewMumJoy 

I've always wanted at least 2-3 children, but unfortunately due to my age (39) this will be my first and last pregnancy, which really saddens me.  After 2 previous losses, things have been going very well this time so far and I've been relishing every minute, every kick (and every ache and pain) throughout this pregnancy.  I'm sure I could naturally conceive again and lots of people including DH are encouraging me to "keep going" but I'm just too scared of the risks involved and dread the possibility of something going wrong in my 40's.  We have plans to adopt in the future, but now that we know we're having a boy I can't stop thinking about having our own little girl to feel complete.  I know that we can fill our home/family with adopted children, but I've never accepted the idea of me having only 1 biological child.....  :(

It sounds to me like you shouldn't commit to this being your last....maybe just say that this pregnancy could be your last.... You never know!

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by youngspiritmom 

It sounds to me like you shouldn't commit to this being your last....maybe just say that this pregnancy could be your last.... You never know!

I agree!  I have a couple of family members who didn't start having kids until the earl 40's and went on to have 3 safely.  Relish this pregnancy and leave the door open to at least consider and discuss with your health care provider.

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by Lizbiz 

This is a really interesting conversation... I don't think this is our last... but since I work more than full time - and this is our 3rd and I am the one who carries/births/nurses the kiddos... it's hitting home that it may not be the most practical idea to have 6 kiddos ;).  But I'd like a big family and so would my husband.  So I hope we can figure it out.  But I'm not a head-in-the-clouds kind of person either who thinks I can adequately parent 6 kiddos and work 50 hours a week.  Ain't gonna happen.  

But who knows - I've been struck before in my life with how limitations I really thought were in place were shattered and doors opened where I thought there were none.  I have learned time and again in the past few decades, that my own intellectual and emotional understanding of life is limited and that there is something much greater at work.  So the desire in my heart for a house full of kiddos is probably not in vain and somehow that door will open.  

So, I'll probably win the lottery and then have 10 more kids.  It could happen, right?

Very true!  For us, we're at the point where we would have to make some large financial changes to have a fifth.  First, we rent a townhouse.  The regulations are clear and posted: the space we occupy is only allowed to have 6 people, according to square foot per person laws for renting.  So, we'll hit 6 with this.  We aren't ready to buy yet because we don't know if we'll stay here.  My husband's job was quickly moved up here and we were given an ultimatum of either move in the next week with it or risk not having a job in 3 months.  That was 3 years ago.  The market is turning around, but we can't quite move home yet...and don't really want to live in this city forever.

And then there's our van.  We'll be at the limit for carseats when this one is born, so having another would mean taking on another car payment and moving to a much more expensive van, past a minivan.  I know we can't do that. 

I, for one, hope you win the lottery, can stay home, and can have 10 more kids! 

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by ainh 

Unless I have plastic surgery this is the last time in my life that I'm going to have taut skin across my belly ;)

I have joked with my husband that I'd like vaginal reconstructive surgery after I'm done having kids.  Having birthed a 17" barrel-chested baby at 11.3#, he really did permanent damage that I've never been able to recover from.  I believe he was the reason my 8# 10oz baby slid out in 2 minutes 2.5 years later!  But if I could gather courage, find the money, and convince myself the risks aren't that bad, I'd be first in line to get back to a more normal netherlands, lol! 

And...that was probably tmi! 

[NewMumJoy]

Thanks for the encouragement ladies..... I guess "never say never", right??

And yes, winning the lottery would solve a lot, wouldn't it!  Space, vehicles, time-off, extra help, reconstructive surgery, personal trainer!!

[~bookcase~]

my mother had her third at almost 39 so i feel like it's a good age to be having a baby
 

[ithappened]

Wondering if any of you, your family or friends have had their tubes tied? I am considering having it done once the twins are born, I am done with kids and really do not want more.,.. I am 110% sure but concerned if there are any longer term effects in terms of things like cancer/hormones etc..
 

[rebecca10]

Originally Posted by NewMumJoy 

Thanks for the encouragement ladies..... I guess "never say never", right??

And yes, winning the lottery would solve a lot, wouldn't it!  Space, vehicles, time-off, extra help, reconstructive surgery, personal trainer!!

In the end, only you'll know what is right for you. But I do agree that never say never seems like the best approach for now. Its so hard to know how you'll feel about it in a year from now. For what it is worth, in my neck of the woods, 39 just isn't seen as that old for a first child, and tons of women in their 40's are having second children. 

Ithappened--I really don't know anything about getting your tubes tied.(We are probably going to go the vacectomy route) But a friend was just telling me how her doctor offered to tie her tubes during her scheduled c-section. If you do end up scheduling a c-section for the twins and deciding that you want your tubes tied, this might be something to look into, as it would avoid the need for a second surgery.    

[youngspiritmom]

Originally Posted by Thandiwe 

I have joked with my husband that I'd like vaginal reconstructive surgery after I'm done having kids.  Having birthed a 17" barrel-chested baby at 11.3#, he really did permanent damage that I've never been able to recover from.  I believe he was the reason my 8# 10oz baby slid out in 2 minutes 2.5 years later!  But if I could gather courage, find the money, and convince myself the risks aren't that bad, I'd be first in line to get back to a more normal netherlands, lol! 

And...that was probably tmi! 

Haha Thandiwe.....I think the people with multiple kids who are reading this are laughing, and the first time mamas reading your post are probably looking like this

For the record, first time mamas, this is my second pregnancy, but after birthing my first (7lbs 7 ounces) things pretty much went back to normal.....

[ithappened]

DS1 had a head which was literally off the charts in diameter, he was 9.5 lbs and everything went back to normal but it did take a good 7-8 months for me, not going to lie. . . Sex was esp horrible.
 

[Ninetales]

See, I'm not a first timer but my first was a section, so I admit I do worry quite a bit about that kind of stuff.  I'm hoping if this baby is unnaturally big or positioned, that he just won't come out.  I don't know if I want to necessarily birth a double digit weight, big headed baby.

[ithappened]

I feel like personally, for me, a vaginal had a lot of unforeseen complications I did not expected at all.. I figured if I didn't tear recovery would be fast-- so when it wasn't, I was surprised, even shocked. . . I had a lot of bladder incontinence, horrible hemorrhoids, mild uterine prolapse, pain with sex etc etc etc which is either 'normal' and no one told me or was a fluke of my natural birth.. but it caused a ton of anxiety because at some point I felt like it would never be normal again down there..

This birth I am preparing for the very real possibility of a c-section which I am sure will come with its own major disadvantages

[folkgirl]

Yeah, I've had both a vaginal birth and a c-section and c-sections and my VB was much easier to recover from, but I do think that some of it is just the luck of the draw. ithappened, I do know some people who have had some of what you have had with their first VB and went on to have a smoother one with their second. No matter how it ends up this time, I hope your recovery is more uneventful and comfortable this time.

I have no idea if I'm done or not. I'm sure my family assumes that I am and their jaws would hit the floor if we had a fourth. I have easy pregnancies in some ways (I have never puked) but in others they are hard. This time I have had depression and anxiety, which was no walk in the park, although I seem to be past that point now.

I think I want to wait until this baby is about 2 before I make any permanent decisions. I'm 33 now so I feel like I have time, even if i want to wait 4+ years before having another.

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by ithappened 

I had a lot of bladder incontinence, horrible hemorrhoids, mild uterine prolapse, pain with sex etc etc etc which is either 'normal' and no one told me or was a fluke of my natural birth.. but it caused a ton of anxiety because at some point I felt like it would never be normal again down there..

I've had all these symptoms after birth.  Each kid has made it more severe, too.    The worst part for me is that my perineum is much, much shorter than I would prefer it to be....leading to some prolapse/exposure and an, ahem, interference with sex.    Blech...