or Connect
Mothering › Groups › May 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Scared, frustrated and need advice. :(

Scared, frustrated and need advice. :(

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 

Last night we were all but convinced my fluid was leaking. I was having fairly regular contractions, though they were far apart. We decided to get checked out just to be sure, especially as it was my doctor on call last night. 

 

My fluid wasn't leaking, but baby decided to, once again, fail the non-stress test. Doc redid the cervical sweep, just in case it would kick things into high gear. (It didn't). I was sent home with an ultrasound booked for 9am. 

 

We went in this morning and little one passed 8/8 on the biophysical. Great! Back upstairs we go for a retest with the NST. ...

 

Which we just got home from. 5 hours later. 

 

He failed again. 

 

The doctor on call wants me to have bi-weekly ultrasounds now, but doesn't think I should be delivered or induced as of yet. I want to agree with him, but at the same time, I'm terrified. If I'm induced, chances are, I'll need a C-section, but if the baby doesn't start perking up a bit with regards to his heart rate, they may end up doing that anyway.

 

What would you all do??

post #2 of 28

So they want to do 2X weekly ultrasounds?  How many weeks are you now?  I would probably wait until 38 or 39 weeks, and then see about induction.  ((hugs)) mama.  Hang in there.
 

post #3 of 28
Thread Starter 

I'm 37 weeks and 3 days right now. 

I guess my fear is, something isn't okay now (his heart rate isn't fluctuating like they want it to, no matter how much stimulation they give) and they're wanting to wait until something else goes wrong and then shows up on the ultrasound. 

I'm not really sure I'm willing for something else to go wrong... :( 

I want to wait, and I know intervening horribly increases my chances of a section, but in the end, I want a healthy, whole baby...

I'm a mess with this right now, and DH really sin't sure how to help. 

post #4 of 28

I have no idea what I would do.  I just wanted to say that I know this pregnancy has been such a roller coaster for you and I'm thinking of you.  I guess I would try and wait as long as I possibly could stand it without going completely crazy.  And like you said, in the end the most important thing is a healthy baby and a healthy you!

post #5 of 28

I'm curious how he's scoring 100% on the BPP, but failing the NST.  That's really strange, but probably the reason why the doctor isn't too concerned about inducing just yet. 

 

I honestly don't know what I would choose to do at this point.  What is your gut/instinct telling you?

post #6 of 28

I know we throw the "natural birth" thing around here a lot, and often it gets painted in a "the one way" sort of light.  But, I think, deep down, what most of us truly support is birth freedom.   

 

Sure, there are benefits to a "natural" birth, and things that are not so great about a c-section.  But, the truth is that this is your body, and your baby, and your choice.   If I were you, I would strongly be considering an induction or a c-sectiong.  Strongly.  Sometimes there does come a time when the baby is better out than in.  It doesn't mean anyone failed. 

 

And it doesn't mean anyone failed if you have a c-section outright, no induction, no waiting for a trial of labor. 

 

Don't let some version of "ideal" cloud your judgment.  You know what the doctors are telling you, and you know what your gut says.  Trust that...and decide from there.

 

*hugs*

post #7 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cristeen View Post

I'm curious how he's scoring 100% on the BPP, but failing the NST.  That's really strange, but probably the reason why the doctor isn't too concerned about inducing just yet. 

I honestly don't know what I would choose to do at this point.  What is your gut/instinct telling you?

the biophysicl looks for certain things being present. breathing signs? check. heart beating? check. baby moved? check. amniotic fluid present? check. you pass!!

the nst looks at the over all heart rate and if there are fluctuations when mom is eating, moving or just aggitated. they also want momma to feel a certain number of movements in a certain amount of time.

the biophysical is more qualitative where the nst is quantitative.

sorry for typos and lack of punctuation... I'm posting on my phone.

Edited to add: My gut tells me he needs to come out, but I'm worried that this is just me panicking.
Edited by JynxGirl - 5/6/12 at 5:13pm
post #8 of 28
With everything you have been through and w/ your stress levels being so high right now I would seriously consider an induction as soon as it is safe to ~ 38 weeks? You said they swept your membranes ~ is there anything else you can do to naturally speed the process along? Have you been told not to have sex? That could get things going... EPO?

I know this pregnancy has been so emotional and stressful for you. Hang in there. Not much longer to go!
post #9 of 28

I agree with just1more... Its about birth choices, and freedom, and making the best choice. I hope you can get the care that you need, and when you need it. ((super hugs))
 

post #10 of 28

I think if your instincts are telling you that it's time for him to come out, then I'd be pushing for that. 

 

My suggestion would be take a couple hours, have a half a glass of wine if you can, sit down and meditate for a while.  Really listen to what your body is telling you.  Hopefully that will help you separate your brain's response from your instinctive response.  And listen to your instincts.  If they're saying he needs to come out, call your doc.  You're within the "safe" window, since IIRC you're 37 weeks now.   You may have to do some work to accept that this is not liable to be the gentle natural birth you were hoping for, but ultimately your instincts trump all in a case like this (IMO). 

 

hug2.gif

post #11 of 28
Thread Starter 

Cristeen - I think I gave up on that ideal birth scenario when things started going screwy at 24 weeks. :( Maybe all of the hesitancy I've been feeling is accepting that fact.

I need him to be safe. I really just don't care anymore how he gets here.

post #12 of 28

At this point I wouldn`t care about an ideal birth either. Personally, unless the doctors tell you it`s too early for the baby to come yet I`d go with induction/c-section. Again, doesn`t mean you fail. Having a healthy baby is all that counts at this point.

post #13 of 28
Once again - I think Cristeen is right. Listen to your instincts. I know it's hard to differentiate sometimes between instinct and fear but...try to find some stillness for yourself and figure it out as best you can.
At 37 weeks, I might lean a bit more to waiting a little bit longer before an induction if my HCP's were all comfortable with the decision too...but really, I think especially given everything you've been through this pg, the only thing that matters is that your little one is safe and healthy.

:hugs. I hope you can be at peace with whatever decision you end up making.
post #14 of 28

Hugs to you!  Listen to your gut as others are saying.  Hopefully baby will decide to come soon and take the worry away!

 

My baby has been failing the NST off and on for a few weeks now.  I think it has to do more with timing than anything...baby is sleeping during the NST time.  Baby also failed one of the biophysical u/s and then the next day passed with flying colors.  I don't understand it.  Twice weekly NST suck, I'm glad to have my last one tomorrow as induction is set for Wednesday!  I have a whole host of complications and will be 37w3days....and am looking forward to having healthy baby here and out!

 

Will be keeping you in thought and prayer!

post #15 of 28

HUGS!!! yes listen to your gut... I changed my appointment a week early with Sång. DH had a feeling too, to change my appt.  I totally did not expect to have a c-section after having two natural births. BUT she was lifted out of me strong and healthy! She amazed everyone even though she was born at 30 weeks. She needed to be born, she was fine. I think you should try and just find some quiet time and try and hear yourself and your baby.

post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 

Sky - ***hugs*** I had a very long talk with my doula today, and spent a long time thinking about it. I'm not comfortable waiting anymore. I want to be induced on Wednesday, and if that means my doctor does a C-section, so be it. I was thinking about you and your little one with part of this, but also about how I've suffered 8 pregnancy losses between my daughter and this little guy. I really don't think my psyche can handle a late term loss. I honestly think that will be the thing that breaks me. So I'm standing my ground and until Wednesday, I'm trying every natural induction method known to man.

The good news is that today I had a bit of bloody show, so hopefully things will go off on their own tonight. :D

 

the2amigos - I wish it was just failing on and off that had me worried. It's the whole 'being strapped to the monitor for over 4 hours and him still not passing that has me worried. I have an ultrasound tomorrow and that will be my final voting card to try to calm down. If anything looks screwy, I want him out.

post #17 of 28
Thinking of you Jen... Can't wait for you to hold your little babe in your arms. Feels like time for him to be on the outside, and move on. Be done with crazy doctors and confusing information. So glad you have a doula.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post

Sky - ***hugs*** I had a very long talk with my doula today, and spent a long time thinking about it. I'm not comfortable waiting anymore. I want to be induced on Wednesday, and if that means my doctor does a C-section, so be it. I was thinking about you and your little one with part of this, but also about how I've suffered 8 pregnancy losses between my daughter and this little guy. I really don't think my psyche can handle a late term loss. I honestly think that will be the thing that breaks me. So I'm standing my ground and until Wednesday, I'm trying every natural induction method known to man.
The good news is that today I had a bit of bloody show, so hopefully things will go off on their own tonight. orngbiggrin.gif

the2amigos - I wish it was just failing on and off that had me worried. It's the whole 'being strapped to the monitor for over 4 hours and him still not passing that has me worried. I have an ultrasound tomorrow and that will be my final voting card to try to calm down. If anything looks screwy, I want him out.
post #18 of 28

My little dude got a 6/8 on the BPP and failed the nst. They gave me the options of retesting later, a pit induction or a c-section. We thought hard on it for almost four hours and after many tears, discussions and a phone call with my sister in law who had had a c-section last fall with her twins, I decided to go with the c-section. A surprising factor in my decision making was my gut. It was telling me to make sure he's healthy. And he is! I don't regret my decision one bit. I had two doulas (including my mom) lined up to be the best birth coaches ever, and instead they turned into calming forces as I prepared for surgery and awesome postpartum support.

 

I wish you the best of luck and can't wait to hear how it feels to hold your little one in your arms!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post


the biophysicl looks for certain things being present. breathing signs? check. heart beating? check. baby moved? check. amniotic fluid present? check. you pass!!
the nst looks at the over all heart rate and if there are fluctuations when mom is eating, moving or just aggitated. they also want momma to feel a certain number of movements in a certain amount of time.
the biophysical is more qualitative where the nst is quantitative.
sorry for typos and lack of punctuation... I'm posting on my phone.
Edited to add: My gut tells me he needs to come out, but I'm worried that this is just me panicking.
post #19 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post

Sky - ***hugs*** I had a very long talk with my doula today, and spent a long time thinking about it. I'm not comfortable waiting anymore. I want to be induced on Wednesday, and if that means my doctor does a C-section, so be it. I was thinking about you and your little one with part of this, but also about how I've suffered 8 pregnancy losses between my daughter and this little guy. I really don't think my psyche can handle a late term loss. I honestly think that will be the thing that breaks me. So I'm standing my ground and until Wednesday, I'm trying every natural induction method known to man.

The good news is that today I had a bit of bloody show, so hopefully things will go off on their own tonight. :D

 

the2amigos - I wish it was just failing on and off that had me worried. It's the whole 'being strapped to the monitor for over 4 hours and him still not passing that has me worried. I have an ultrasound tomorrow and that will be my final voting card to try to calm down. If anything looks screwy, I want him out.

 

Thinking of you! I know there's no baby yet, but wondering what the dr says about induction and if your plans have changed at all. How was the last ultrasound? Sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you've found something to stick to, and you've settled on going with your gut. It's always a relief to have something like a plan, even if it doesn't actually go that way.

 

Lots of hugs!

post #20 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astraia View Post

 

Thinking of you! I know there's no baby yet, but wondering what the dr says about induction and if your plans have changed at all. How was the last ultrasound? Sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you've found something to stick to, and you've settled on going with your gut. It's always a relief to have something like a plan, even if it doesn't actually go that way.

 

Lots of hugs!

I'm seeing my doctor today at 3. Hopefully it's not a huge fight, though at this point, it probably will be. 

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: May 2012 Birth Club
Mothering › Groups › May 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Scared, frustrated and need advice. :(