Ok this is going to be long.
We had our son 5 months ago. I was on bed rest for 7 months and 4 of them were in the hospital. I had constant preterm labor as wells as blood issues. Prior to this baby I have lost two babies at around 18 weeks. Both were born naturally in the hospital and cremated. My issue is not with my son or my previous losses its with my mother in law ( we aren't married but you get the idea.)
When I had my son I made a rule that no one was allowed in the room. Having delivered two not alive babies prior has made labor and birth a scary, complicated, intense time for me and I decided it would be best if no one was in the room. My sister was there for my previous losses and I thought about having her there too but changed my mind I also wanted time with my boyfriend to spend alone with the new baby because of what we had been through previously.
Well While I was in labor I guess his mother was hanging outside the door sound recording it on her phone. As soon as she heard the baby cry she walked in. All the nurses and two doctors were in my room from concerns about his amniotic fluid and no one was out there to tell her she cant be out there. When my boyfriend told her to go tell everyone and tell them they can come in soon she refused. When the nurses told her she refused to leave and began obsessively taking photos of the babies belly. After she was showing everyone her sound rec cording which not only super upsets me because i didn't know she was out there and its such an invasion but it also hurt my families feelings because they couldn't be there. Especially my sister and my mom.
I feel like I missed out on alone time with my baby, She was all over me trying to nurse him and ignored all of my protests that i didn't want her help and acted like i wasn't saying words when i would try to tell her i wanted to be alone or for stitching and all of that. Well 5 months later and everyone wants to know about his birth. MY pregnancy was such an ordeal that everyone wants to know about it and I feel like its constantly bringing up how depressed I am about how weird she was and how she pretty much ruined it. This is the only baby I will have due to health issues and I am just so sad about how it went. Not to mention things that have happened after she constantly undermines me. When we tried to talk to her about her behavior she dropped to the floor and cried about how my mom was annoying her so she had to go out there.
Well now my mother is never allowed over if his parents are over because he doesn't want to upset his mom. I can't get over it. I cry still about how it went. I don't know what to do. I spent so much time imagining how it would go and its so sad to me now. Not to mention her husband took videos of me in labor without my consent and sent it to their whole family. Plus she has entirely inappropriate photos of me after in her house and she shows people. not to mention her sound recording. How do I deal with this. How do I have a birthday for my son in 6 months if my mom cant be around his mom? How do I get over it??