i have a 3.5 y/o son, he is pretty spirited and an only child in a house with 3 adults (we live with my parents). my parents are much more stern in their discipline and occasionally smack his butt, and i am not like that. they accuse me of being too permissive, but i feel like i am parenting in a way that feels right for me... usually.
lately he's been driving me INSANE, i am fully burnt out and need a vacation but it's not coming for another few weeks so i've got to get it together and pull through. the past few weeks i have SCREAMED at him, threatened him, all of it. my usual parenting style, which involves identifying feelings, redirection, empathy, etc is just gone as a result of being so burnt out. i'm operating on fumes, the fumes, really, of how i was raised.
my mom lost it today and spanked him because he bit me and i screamed. then she yelled at me that i needed to be more firm with him. i've always believed that kids need boundaries to feel safe etc but my boundaries are not as firm as she would like.
obviously i'm not permissive about hitting... but at dinner sometimes he wants lots of hugs and i give them to him and when we're playing throughout the day he pushes my boundaries even after i say things like "no thank you, i don't want to do that" or "no thank you, that hurts me" or "no thank you, i don't play with people who hit me!" and these are two of the issues that are driving her crazy-
ok i have to go put him to bed, but i'd love to hear any ideas or experience or questions for clarification!