Re-experiencing loss

[Threefold]

I hesitate to post this here, b/c it is trivial compared to the raw grief posted here, but, I don't know where else it fits. . .

Since getting pregnant, I have had several bouts of waking from a dream and feeling this utter despair, empty, desolate, as though I'll never be happy again. The subject of the dreams is different, though most deal with loss, some seemingly minor, others not. One so terrifying I can't yet type or speak it.
One that recurrs is my father. Tonight's dream was about him, and I woke aching for him in a way I haven't in a long time, and don't feel when the sun is up. He died when I was barely 15, 17 years ago now.
I don't know why I am having all these dreams of loss just when our family is about to grow. Am I afraid of the loss of what we have now? Is it the terror of having another living being dpendent on me? Is my psyche just housecleaning?
Thanks for listening.

[dr.j]

That sounds really intense. I tend to dream about loved ones I've lost whenever a big event occurs in my life. Sometimes the dreams are really comforting, but other times, they leave me with the same kind of emptiness you described. The aching can just be awful. I've found they tend to be more troubling when I'm stressed out or worried about something.
While I was pregnant, I had more peaceful dreams about loved ones I've lost, but I remember having these dreams more often than I usually do. I looked at them as the way in which the new life growing inside of me was connecting with people I love, even those who have already died.
I think I'm too tired to offer any helpful advice or comments, but I just wanted you to know I'll be thinking of you. I hope your dreams can shift to positive ones in which you can feel the way love continues even after death, and you can feel your dad's continued loving presence along with the aching that comes from his loss.

[Threefold]

Thank you. Your post was very helpful.