This is just something that I would really like others' perspectives on.
DS1 is 6 and he has occasional angry outbursts. He is a very loving and empathetic child and also very emotional. He is big for his age and quite strong and when he does have an angry outburst he kicks and hits and really tries to hurt (me or his dad). Once he has gotten over it and calmed down he is always absolutely mortified and very upset about what he's done. I feel like it is very hard for him to control these very intense feelings and I focus on trying to get him to get the anger out some other way.
On a good day I manage this well, and on a bad day I get really angry at him trying to hurt me. Right now I'm very pregnant and it really, really affects me. So this evening at bedtime it happened, he was kicking hard and nearly kicked my stomach - I totally lost it, screamed at him, then left him in his room.
I come from a family where emotions were frequently suppressed. So, while I know I handled the situation very badly, there's a part of me that also feels that showing my emotion is maybe healthy and that to deal with each situation calmly is a bit "false" - although my screaming was clearly too much :(
I stress once more that he is an exceptionally loving person and I think he scares himself with these outbursts (that are not particularly frequent). He has also improved hugely over the last couple of years with managing his intense emotions, so I think he's on a pretty good path.
I guess my question is really about how whether it is healthy and appropriate for us, as parents, to show anger as we feel it, or should we always be "in control" of our own reactions, modelling the best way to react.
All thoughts much appreciated!