I have let time slip away from me. It's too late to send something to DSS's mom before Mothers' Day, at least by regular mail. (DSS lives with us, Mom lives far away.) He's almost 13, has lived with us since he was 8 and this is the first year I've failed to facilitate a gift. I usually help him make something for her, or design something personalized online, order it, wrap it when it gets here and send it to her.
Admittedly, I'm probably indulging in some passive-aggression. It's not conscious. I even picked out a few things on Etsy I thought DSS might like to give her, but never remembered to show them to him and ask what he wanted to order. Part of that is we've genuinely been super-busy. I have a little time for Etsy while DSS's at school, but it rarely crosses my mind again until he's in bed. However, Mom has also been especially difficult the last many months; we're going back to court with her this summer; and I'm in the middle of reviewing old email conversations and phone records, to prepare for court...so irritation with her is heavily outweighing compassion.
Part of me thinks:
* DSS is plenty old enough to have thought of this himself and done something about it. So, if he hasn't, maybe it's enough that DH and I make sure he calls Mom on Mothers' Day.
* He still has time to send her an animated e-card, like he does for me on my birthday.
* At least one year, Mom made DSS feel terrible, telling him she didn't receive his gift on time, even when though the tracking info. said she did. So why would I bother paying for expedited delivery, to send her something at this point?
The other part of me thinks:
* He's a kid. He doesn't think ahead. I know his Mom will make him feel like crap if he doesn't send her anything.
* Although our return to court makes me feel cool about Mom, it's likely to make DSS feel extra-guilty toward her. So will the annual Saturday-night outing with DH, to buy Mothers' Day treats for me, knowing he didn't do anything for his Mom.
* So maybe I should pick up something this evening and 2-day mail it to her, tomorrow.