DS is 30 months old, and is regularly babysat by his "Grandma" and "Papa" - my best friend's parents. We've all been close since my childhood, and they are generally very AP-friendly. They were the only people besides my mom I could trust to hold DS non-stop during infancy. DS adores his Papa and is very, very attached to him.
The other day, DS got up from his nap and proceeded to dump lotion all over himself and the bed he was sleeping on. When Papa came up and found him, he was understandably upset and chastised him. In Grandma's version of events (from what she heard from downstairs), Papa told DS that it was not nice to behave that way. And I'm sure he probably did. But when DS brought it up to me that night, he told me, "Papa told me I'm bad guy." We aren't super-strict on "bad" and "good" type statements, but DH and I would never tell our child he was bad. We'll be addressing this with Grandma and Papa, but I had never thought to tell them the language we'd prefer was used if DS needed discipline.
I wouldn't be so bothered (like I said, they never knew it was an issue with us), except that DS seems upset by this. He's brought it up at least 6 times in the past few days, and that's just to me (I work FT). Each time, he says exactly the same thing: I dumped lotion on the bed and ruined the sheets. Papa told me I'm bad guy. I reply that Papa was upset and said something he didn't mean. I tell him that just because he misbehaved doesn't make him bad. And then I remind him how much Papa and I both love him.
I don't know if I'm handling this the right way. I don't really know what to do... DS is very articulate, and he often tells stories of things that have happened. But this is coming up a lot more than other events have in the past, even those that were exciting or made a big impression. Every time he says it, it makes me sad, but I don't know how much it's really bothering him versus it simply being something that happened that he remembers.