Playdates

[lunagirl704]

My dd is in 2nd grade and is never asked for playdates. I have asked a few moms (via email and phone) for playdates and they have not responded. In person they are like, 'Sure, that would be great...etc' but then nothing.  Dd is invited to a few birthday parties here and there (when all the girls in the Brownie troop or class are invited) but that's it. She is asking for playdates and sleepovers with these girls and I don't know what to say. She plays with kids at school and her teacher says she is social. She is a sweet girl who can be a bit chatty. She has been in school with these girls since Kindergarten and I know for a fact the moms are friends and clique-y. I WOH and most of them SAH but that's not the point. I am willing to host playdates Friday night or on weekends. . Dd gets along great with the children of our friends but wants connections with kids in school. I just don't know where to go from here.

[4evermom]

That's rough. I think sometimes SAH families think of weekends as family time unless there is something like a party scheduled. They probably like to do playdates after school so they don't interfere with weekends... Just guessing (ds is homeschooled).

Maybe if dd invited a few girls to an "event" with actual paper invitations, you'd get a better response. You could have a tea party to celebrate spring or something. I'd probably not tell dd, just figure out who she likes and mail them an invite, lest she be disappointed if no one rsvps. 

[serenbat]

we are doing less and find most are too- weekends for the most part (that would be Fri nights) are out- that is family time- most I know at this age are starting to cut way back knowing that in a few years "family time" is mostly gone- between regular activities and weekly chores it leaves little time

do you just hang out at play grounds? informal and non scheduled times?

some are into doing playdates as free sitting but so many are getting away from it

[ravens_mum]

Hosting a scheduled event is a wonderful idea.  A ballet themed tea party or something like that will probably intrigue both the girls and their moms. Let your dd take the invitations to school and give them to the girls themselves.  That way by the time the parents see them, there will already be excitement.  Also, it might help to give the parents options like "DD is dying to hang out with Lisa; you know if you'd like to drop her off for a couple hours on Saturday, I'll keep them entertained". Hope it works out.

[bonamarq]

My dd is also in second grade - she has just two friends that she really can have playdates with - and one is homeschooled so their weekends are pretty family oriented -

the other is our regular playdate - and it just so happens that the mom and I have become good friends and I think that makes quite a difference - we socialize all together and also trade playdates for the 'free sitting' aspect as well - but honestly without this one child my dd would not have many playdates - we've exchanged some numbers but I don't really know the other moms and it can be hard to get past initiially -

Also - if the other moms don't feel they know you well perhaps planning a joint visit to a park - the neutral setting gives the mom a chance to know you better and if things go well there may be greater comfort in dropping off for a playdate?

good luck (and yes the planned event is also a good idea - and it may take several events to get past the walls! )

[JudiAU]

Perhaps small, "scheduled" events might work unrelated to birthdays. We have an "ice cream social" every so often or a tea party or the like. I'd probably invite 3-5 kids at a time.