Whole Home *DIS*organization Support Thread :)

[SweetSilver]

Still getting the dishes done.  Laundry.  Organization.

But.

Gotta just let it go.  Gotta let the mind flow and surrender because the mental battle is at least half of the problem.

My whole family loves a clean house.   But the whole family is also distracted and the next thing you know the house is a mess for weeks at a time (hard to catch up after an awesome weekend!).

The best thing that has ever happened to me in this regard is just to not think about it much.  I just keep on keeping on and stuff gets done and some stuff never gets done.  well, not true-- EVENTUALLY everything gets done because the house needs to get ready to sell and now it's getting done.  Sooner would have been nice, for sure, but... .

So, this thread for anyone in the mood to share their thoughts on DISorganization (or.... whatever.... I'm not making any rules).

Groovy.

[*bejeweled*]

I think of it all as one big cycle. That helps me. I JUST got back from the store and realized we need cat food and litter I just wrote it on the list for the next time...

I'm cool as long as:
*the trash is out
*the dishes are rinsed
*some surfaces are clear

[mumkimum]

I miss pre-children days when dh was gone, and I could spend the day rearrange-cleaning part of the house, and then sit down and enjoy it for a few hours afterward.  Plus, even though he isn't really tidy, it wouldn't all go to crap with dh around for a few days.

And now life is all ---  I try to do things (sew, cook, make stuff I like to make) and get interrupted by everybody, rarely finish anything, and end up with stuff all over the place that who knows if it'll ever get "put away".  Especially since the mystery of where things belong is known only to me.

  Make cookies & drink more coffee, when it all gets to be too much.

[SweetSilver]

Now you take a peek behind the cleaning for a minute before it swoops closed again.  

There was a time, before kids, when I had a place I shared with other 20-somethings.  I would clean the kitchen floor and get very, very irate when it would get dirty all over again.  I eventually did learn to take those minutes or hour after to serenely contemplate the placid, stark beauty of an unsullied floor.  Now as a mom (kids 5 and 7) and a professional housekeeper (really! though pretty unbelievable), this doesn't phase me as much.  I'd like to say "doesn't at all" but to be honest, the girls get excited after "toy finding" and start dumping things out.  Not all peace and love there, but that perfect floor?  That doesn't phase me a bit.  

Oh, yes, I'll join you for that coffee!

Edited by SweetSilver - 5/10/12 at 6:29pm

[mumkimum]

I've come to gain much more appreciate giving things away or having things get broken, so that I don't have to take care of them anymore.  In the past, it was a lot harder on me.   

I doubt I could really be happy in a minimalist house (I kinda love intense visual stimulation) but I dislike too much stuff in the way.  We had our place cleared out and simplified for trying to sell our house, then ended up not and having stuff brought out of storage and dumped all over and I'm still dealing with the fallout of it a year later trying to find some way to put it all back together.  

I really liked the house better cleared out, but I missed a lot of my things.  Like, it was really exciting to have a waffle maker again.  I don't hate all my stuff, but right now I really wish that my paints, canvases, and painting space weren't all separated and crowded behind other boxes.  THAT is what really needs to get under control.

(It's my coffee night , may pop back later) 

[SweetSilver]

We are in the process of staging the house.  We took some pictures and every time I talked, the house ECHOED.  It looked so pristine, but was definitely not homey, not cozy at all!  The kitchen looked pretty, but cooking in it was a bear until I took everything out again.  I like the look of things tucked away behind cupboards, but it makes the process of cooking onerous.  So, it's a trade off.

We moved into this house with a 1yo and I was 2 months pregnant and soooooooo tired!  We had to move all in one big truckload and we never really unpacked all the way (time to give stuff away!) and this house has just been a stopover while waiting for our new house, which is nearly ready after 6 years of living here (and 15 years of planning).  The house is only 2 miles away so we won't have to shove everything in boxes again.  Now that I've packed all this crap once, I realize that, hey, after 10 or more years I will not make cool things out of these old wool sweaters.  Saved the buttons.  Trash.  Sorry.  But then I remembered, mostly I bought these used anyway.  

It's been rough getting the house ready and keeping everything flowing day to day.  Well, anyhow, like the taoist (zen?) saying goes-- chop wood, carry water.  Or-- stash away the laundry,  make spaghetti.  Nothing gets left for that long.  I make the rounds eventually.  It never all gets done at the same time, but I get around to it eventually.

[SweetSilver]

I was just reading about keeping kids' toys up and away, keeping out only a few at a time.  Even though it's a colossal mess, I really enjoy the games my daughter's come up with by joining up every toy in the house.  I'm always surprised how they will mix and match just about everything, and even the old baby toys get a fresh life when added to another set of toys.  Pretty fun.  Pretty chaotic!  I love it, I hate it, but I wouldn't change it......

[pickle18]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

I was just reading about keeping kids' toys up and away, keeping out only a few at a time.  Even though it's a colossal mess, I really enjoy the games my daughter's come up with by joining up every toy in the house.  I'm always surprised how they will mix and match just about everything, and even the old baby toys get a fresh life when added to another set of toys.  Pretty fun.  Pretty chaotic!  I love it, I hate it, but I wouldn't change it......

I am with you!  There are days when I look around our house (which is small, and was already packed full of my husbands stuff, add my stuff, then a new babies stuff, and well...you get the picture ), and I think I'm going to lose it.  It often looks like a hurricane hit a toy store - there are toys of all types strewn about everywhere, in random piles, and thoroughly mixed in with DS's favorite "found objects" (i.e., bottles and boxes and other bits salvaged from the recycling bin, plus some wooden spoons, cups, etc.).

Once in a blue moon, I get the toys back into their organized little bins (wooden trucks here, blocks there...) and the assortment of other items even have their own bin, too.  It is lovely and beautiful!  But on the flip side, DS just kind of stares at it blankly, before slowly dismantling it again.

When I see my kid playing in the big piles of junk, he is super engaged - experimenting, picking things out, using them in novel ways with other objects, sorting them into piles, putting them into boxes or bags, making music with them, practicing pouring, imitating mommy & daddy doing chores, arranging them, etc. before running off to the next pile to see what treasures he can find and what cool things he can do with those.

In short - the toy mess often stresses me out, but my son seems to think it's like living in the middle of treasure island - so much to excavate and discover!  It's so easy to see that he is having fun, and learning so much, that it helps me chill out. 

(ETA: As I typed that, he moved from one group of toys in the corner to playing music to playing with the cat and is now running back and forth between rooms grabbing his clothes and putting them in a pile in the middle of the floor, haha)

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by pickle18 

 It often looks like a hurricane hit a toy store - there are toys of all types strewn about everywhere, in random piles, and thoroughly mixed in with DS's favorite "found objects" (i.e., bottles and boxes and other bits salvaged from the recycling bin, plus some wooden spoons, cups, etc.).

My 5yo daughter does this, it's hilarious.  She has a game with her "fairies" (paper dolls cut from clothing catalogs) and she squashes them into a spray-bottle cap.  I'm not quite sure why, thoughI know she's told me.  She has games with twist ties, corks, just about anything--usually to tie up to her animals like tack.  And even though this isn't about the toy mess, she has a game she like to play with peelings from making dinner (including chicken bones) and her animals.  I think she is making soup in the kitchen sink with it.  

Things do get a bit chaotic, especially after dh, um, "cleans up".  He's out to vacuum the floor and everything is "put up" and stashed every which way and then I really need to do some toy finding.  Unlike your house, in mine there is a collective sigh of relief if I can now and then find everything.  DD2 does sometimes get upset if I've dismantled a game, but the clean up does produce a flurry of activity for a while, though that effect diminishes if I have "one of those months" and really focus on the toy organization.  

[pickle18]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

Things do get a bit chaotic, especially after dh, um, "cleans up".  He's out to vacuum the floor and everything is "put up" and stashed every which way and then I really need to do some toy finding.  

I thought this was only mine???   Well-intentioned, but toys are completely and totally mixed up and impossible to find, just as they were before - but they are, technically, off the floor, so I guess it's half right?? haha

[SweetSilver]

Oh, it drives me nuts because it makes things *harder* to find.

But we can't complain when dh does the housework, can we?  And the vacuuming does need to be done.  I've tried to either have things organized the day before "Daddy Fun Day", or dive in and organize things the day after, but the toys are really lower priority to the dishes, laundry, recycling, dinner, etc. (and now beautiful days for all of us to play and work outside) and the reality is that I've never been able to pull that dance off.  

I will say that during "that month", when somehow the toys stay mostly organized, it does encourage getting out *every. single. toy* and putting them all together into (what my girls used to call) The Festival!!!  

It's almost easier just to leave the toys and and keep a clear swath in the pathways.  (Before anyone is horrified by this method, the toys are in the family room and, to a lesser extent, the living room-- not in the bedrooms, kitchen, hall, etc.  No, those spaces have problems all their own that have nothing to do with kids or toys.)

Speaking of, time to shut this contraption down, get ready for the day and start the dishwasher......

      

[mumkimum]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

I will say that during "that month", when somehow the toys stay mostly organized, it does encourage getting out *every. single. toy* and putting them all together into (what my girls used to call) The Festival!!!  

This sounds glorious!

Sometimes, I try harder to remember how I used to play as a kid and cut my kiddos more slack.  I know my mom had much importance on tidy than I try to keep for myself, and there can be some positives to having lived that way at the time.  

As for myself -- I know I've got to tackle some spot of the house better today (because dh is off the next 3, and the place always gets way worse when he's around ) - but I'll have to let some other room get crazy in the meantime.    

[mumkimum]

Oh look.  And now I have one naked kid with a green bellybutton, another in a fancy dress, and have discovered that everybody has forgotten to flush the toilet after themselves.

I suppose it's a sign to get off the computer.  (plus I'm out of coffee now anyway).  

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by mumkimum 

As for myself -- I know I've got to tackle some spot of the house better today (because dh is off the next 3, and the place always gets way worse when he's around ) - but I'll have to let some other room get crazy in the meantime.    

When my dh is home I tend to goof off more.  I'm not sure if this is why your house is messier when your dh is around-- but instead of going into overdrive, I tend to just drag, kind of like my day off, and I get very little done and then it's bedtime.  Oh, well.  Maybe we are just crazy, trading work and child care duties that when we have a day off together, I don't quite know what to do with my day.  

This weekend Grandma is here entertaining the girls, while we get some rooms ready for the realtor to photograph.  I think, "now why couldn't we have had it this nice before........." but the truth of the answer is that yes, when the garage is crammed full with stuff you've packed away for the picture, your house does look nice.  And echoey.  Anyway, I get to work (and goof off) without feeling like I also need to engage the kids.

I've commented to other moms before about how when I focus on keeping the dishes moving, the laundry, etc., something's gotta give, and it usually is the toys.  Last year, the gardening got in the way of all the housework (you'd think if one spends more time *outside the house* that the house wouldn't get messy to begin with, but nooooo....... does not seem to be the case around here.)

Good luck on your clean up today!

As for me, I think I need my cup of naughty-coffee about now.  And yes, The Festival is glorious--keeps them busy together for hours and is wonderful, especially when it doesn't take place on the Big Bed.  (They never play in there!  Why for this game????!!!!)

[Casha'sMommy]

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

When my dh is home I tend to goof off more.  I'm not sure if this is why your house is messier when your dh is around-- but instead of going into overdrive, I tend to just drag, kind of like my day off, and I get very little done and then it's bedtime.  Oh, well.  Maybe we are just crazy, trading work and child care duties that when we have a day off together, I don't quite know what to do with my day.  

This weekend Grandma is here entertaining the girls, while we get some rooms ready for the realtor to photograph.  I think, "now why couldn't we have had it this nice before........." but the truth of the answer is that yes, when the garage is crammed full with stuff you've packed away for the picture, your house does look nice.  And echoey.  Anyway, I get to work (and goof off) without feeling like I also need to engage the kids.

I've commented to other moms before about how when I focus on keeping the dishes moving, the laundry, etc., something's gotta give, and it usually is the toys.  Last year, the gardening got in the way of all the housework (you'd think if one spends more time *outside the house* that the house wouldn't get messy to begin with, but nooooo....... does not seem to be the case around here.)

Good luck on your clean up today!

As for me, I think I need my cup of naughty-coffee about now.  And yes, The Festival is glorious--keeps them busy together for hours and is wonderful, especially when it doesn't take place on the Big Bed.  (They never play in there!  Why for this game????!!!!)

I have the same affliction when dh is around. He travels a lot for work so when he's home we tend to goof off. I know this is a problem and I know it's going to be rough getting caught back up but we just can't stay on target. Can't. I figure, to escape the minutiae, I'll continue as we are. I like dropping all my chores to go to the park or whatever and I almost never do that unless dh is home.

I recently decided to get the toys more organized but only because the kids baskets and bins were/are over flowing. I've been picking up a new basket/bucket/etc here and there and re-organizing where needed. Things haven't remained as organized as when this process began but at least things aren't spilling out onto the floor even though we have baskets and such.

[SweetSilver]

Sounds nice just the way you do it.

Originally Posted by Casha'sMommy 

I have the same affliction when dh is around. He travels a lot for work so when he's home we tend to goof off. I know this is a problem and I know it's going to be rough getting caught back up but we just can't stay on target. Can't. I figure, to escape the minutiae, I'll continue as we are. I like dropping all my chores to go to the park or whatever and I almost never do that unless dh is home.

[pickle18]

Yes!  When DH is home on the weekends, I feel like it's sort of my "day off," so I don't push my chore agenda as hard as I should.  The problem is, DH is VERY focused on the chores he wants to accomplish over the weekend (usually big stuff, like lots of gardening or home restoration projects - usually no overlap with my mundane laundry/vacuuming/bathrooms/declutter, etc. agenda).  He feels like he can't breathe if he doesn't tackle it, whereas I feel like I just need to breathe!  So what happens?  He ends up going outside to do some major project and leaves me on baby duty...I am out relaxation time and chore time...hmmm...this needs to change! 

[mumkimum]

Well, I got less done in the moment before dh's few days off - but we did a heck of a lot of yard work together and put in fun flowers and veggies, and a few new herbs and free perennials.    

Dh here has almost no sense of a regular cleaning schedule, and for some reason I mentally defer about half of what I normally do daily to him (and so it doesn't get done).  And then it's harder to get the kiddos on board with anything either, since he isn't.  Gah.  I've been trying to find some way to brainwash the family into doing more things regularly but I've really just become the biggest nag in the past few years.   

Originally Posted by SweetSilver 

When my dh is home I tend to goof off more.  I'm not sure if this is why your house is messier when your dh is around-- but instead of going into overdrive, I tend to just drag, kind of like my day off, and I get very little done and then it's bedtime.  Oh, well.  Maybe we are just crazy, trading work and child care duties that when we have a day off together, I don't quite know what to do with my day.  

Hope house photos went well for you Sweetsilver.  

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by mumkimum 

Hope house photos went well for you Sweetsilver.  

They did go well--but it's a whole other level of just letting go.  DH was in charge of getting the living room ready (we did the house in sections since with the girls and our schedules we hadn't bbeen able to do it all at one).  It was my big work day and I came home and things were clear but not up to snuff, IMO.  Some runner on the shelf was wonky.  He put the anemic houseplants full front and center.  Globs and smears on the windows.  I'm just hoping this stuff won't come across in the photos.  

And, what we can get done in the next 2 days before the house goes on the market in 2 days is just what we are going to be able to get done.  I mean, Geez Louise, if someone doesn't want the house because of a few toys around and cobwebs under the eaves they just weren't interested in the first place!

The posts about all our dp's are cracking me up!  

Good Morning everyone!

[BeautyforAshes]

I love this thread--thanks for starting it.   It helps me not to beat myself up as much       I am a reformed neat freak who has become a disorganist.  I am married to a semi-pack-rat, but I can't blame him for a lot of the mess.  He just isn't very good about cleaning, either, so not much of it is getting done right now.
My high-maintenance toddler makes finding time for the bigger tasks very difficult right now.