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Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting featured on Time Magazine

post #1 of 58
Thread Starter 

link

 

thoughts??

post #2 of 58

I absolutely cannot stand the picture they used, I don't like Dr. Sears being painted as a "guru" for AP parents and just didn't like the piece.

 

I mean, I'm glad to see a picture in front of everyones faces of an older toddler nursing...but why did it have to be in a way that is all "YEah, I'm nursing, so what get over it!" - with a kid dressed to look as "old" as possible??

Why couldn't it have been a lovely picture of a sleepy little boy nursing on a smiling mamas breast in a cozy bed? Or a Dad reading a book with Mama next to him and a little girl almost asleep at the breast.

 

Or even a laughing mama, tickling the belly of a silly toddler who is nursing for fun or whatever.


I just don't feel like that was a very accurate depiction of what extended nursing really looks like. There is this whole idea out there that somehow nursing mamas are these militant, "femme-booby-nazis" which flies in the face of what *I* know to be the truth....which is that extended breastfeeding is a natural, gentle and easy choice for very many women that does not look anything like the Time picture portrayed it. /rant
 

post #3 of 58

I mean, come ON...."ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH" there already exists this weird "mama-war" type thing between women who don't prefer to breastfeed and think extended breastfeeders are insane hippies and women who believe firmly that it is the best way....and lost all in the middle of that, are women who WANT to breastfeed but don't have proper support or feel shame as their children get bigger and are pressured to wean because it's "weird"...not to mention women who are struggling SO HARD to keep their nursing relationship alive despite illness, discomfort or any other number of issues getting in the way...who have the OPPOSITE problem, they have weird, militant ladies around who are pushing this "Are You Mom Enough" concept and all that does it put more pressure on women who are already struggling.


But all of that is just my reaction to the cover and the fact that they had a WHOLE BUNCH of pictures which would have been SOOO much better and been a more fair and accurate depiction of extended nursing.

 

 

As for the actual story, I'm trying to get my hands on more of it, I can't read the whole thing because I'm not a time member...but again, I don't understand why Dr. Sears is being painted as the founder of the AP "movement"....I don't parent the way I parent because of a book or a guru..I parent this way because I live as unhindered as possible and this is the way I parent when I'm not held back by other peoples ideas.
 

post #4 of 58

Broodywoodsgal said most all that I wanted to write about the subject!

 

I think that picture gives the opposite message and somehow is more sensationalist than it should have been.

 

AND - to make it worse - why choose one of the biggest 4 year olds I have seen AND make him stand on a stool to make him look even older?

 

He almost looks like a 8 year old...

post #5 of 58

I have no interest in reading the article because I pretty much don't care what mainstream media has to say about my parenting. And I don't read or follow Dr. Sears, it just happens that much of what he/ap promotes is what we've been doing and what has worked for us these past 12 years.

 

I am with Broody on the cover, the title is offensive and the picture seems to have been staged to make it as provocative as possible. Everyday nursing sessions with a three year old do not look like that. 

post #6 of 58

am wondering too if this is a model with a model child or if it's actually the mom of the child on the photo ... does it say so in the body of the article ?

post #7 of 58
It is an actual mom. They put out a call for actual moms, dr momma was talking about it. Also, a lady on another board was saying it was her friend. Don't know if te the mom in the article, though.
post #8 of 58
And I course the picture was staged to make it provocative. They're trying to sell magazines! Still a positive thing to have that image in front of people, IMO.
post #9 of 58
Thread Starter 

I'm not a die-hard follower of Dr. Sears, but I really dislike the tone of the articles and photos. Pretty much what BroodyWoodsgal said. They make it sound like attachment parenting is new, as if mothers haven't been caring for their babies in a compassionate and sensitive way for thousands of years. I also don't have the whole article to read, but I'm interested in knowing what the rest of it says.

post #10 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rrrrrachel View Post

And I course the picture was staged to make it provocative. They're trying to sell magazines! Still a positive thing to have that image in front of people, IMO.


You know, I agree with the image being in front of people as a positive....but it's putting it in front of them in a way which propagates the general misconceptions which currently exist in our culture.

 

I think it would have been just as provocative to use an image that CHALLENGED the current public opinion about extended breastfeeding.

post #11 of 58

I am pretty sure I read that she is a 26 year old lactation consultant located in LA. 

 

I am not really sure how I feel about the cover.  I think it is important to remember that the cover photo is probably no more than a caricature of the real thing.  Just look at how air-brushed it is.

post #12 of 58

The cover photo looks... wrong... to me.  That's not nursing, that's not about the child, that's about the Mother.  And put up in a way that's begging for controversy.  Perhaps the article has the right intentions at heart, but the picture kills all credibility.

post #13 of 58

I like the photo. It reminds me of my ds who'd do that sort of thing. 

post #14 of 58

I'm tired of people (in general) saying, "It's about the mother, not the child."  Breastfeeding is always about the child and the mother.  If it were miserable for the mother, the human race would be in trouble.

post #15 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckiestgirl View Post

I'm tired of people (in general) saying, "It's about the mother, not the child."  Breastfeeding is always about the child and the mother.  If it were miserable for the mother, the human race would be in trouble.

Besides, who could make a child nurse who didn't want to??? Honestly, trying to get ds to nurse was the surest way to get him to NOT nurse when he was 4!

post #16 of 58

My DD is 3 ...very recently had to be forced into weaning (am pregnant) ..I could have nursed her more in other circumstances....

 

AND I find the pic disturbing.

 

It doesn't convey 'extended breastfeeding' to me. Extended BF is so gentle and natural and sacred and personal.

 

This pic is so in-your-face and provocative and stirring-the-pot.

 

I want to ask - how many of extended BFers here actually encourage this - I don't know ...a type of grab and go playful suckling mockery and think of this as EBF versus taking our toddlers with us to bed , cuddle with them, tell them stories, play with their hair - while they nurse?

post #17 of 58

Saw the pic,  I wasn't able to read the article. Nothing like fueling the flames ofthe mom wars in time for Mother's Day and making attachment parenting look extreme. :(  I wish media didn't believe that their job is to sell via controversy and divisiveness. EVERYTHING is taken to extremes.

post #18 of 58

That picture does a great disservice to all breastfeeding mothers. It boggles my mind that an act as natural as nursing a baby should become such a controversy. 

post #19 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

My DD is 3 ...very recently had to be forced into weaning (am pregnant) ..I could have nursed her more in other circumstances....

 

AND I find the pic disturbing.

 

It doesn't convey 'extended breastfeeding' to me. Extended BF is so gentle and natural and sacred and personal.

 

This pic is so in-your-face and provocative and stirring-the-pot.

 

I want to ask - how many of extended BFers here actually encourage this - I don't know ...a type of grab and go playful suckling mockery and think of this as EBF versus taking our toddlers with us to bed , cuddle with them, tell them stories, play with their hair - while they nurse?

Are you saying there is no place for silliness or goofiness in the mother child nursing relationship? It all has to be sacred, gentle, and done in bed? Kids have different personalities that they bring to the table in the relationship. I find it strange you think other ways are a mockery of yours.

 

ETA, just think of all the controversy and shouts of incest if this picture were taken in bed. Showing a nursing couple in a private place like bed on the front cover of a national magazine would be more inappropriate, imo.

post #20 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckiestgirl View Post

I'm tired of people (in general) saying, "It's about the mother, not the child."  Breastfeeding is always about the child and the mother.  If it were miserable for the mother, the human race would be in trouble.
Well not always... I pretty much hated breastfeeding DS but kept up with it for his sake... But maybe there is something wrong with me!

I think the picture is a little weird, mostly because the mom looks all posed & model-y and defiant. I did read an article about the photo shoot for this cover and it sounds like there were good intentions behind having the kid standing like that, but I don't like the execution of it. DS has nursed standing like that before but it just doesn't have that same look/feel. It's too showy or something I guess. But I do love that there is a 3yo nursing on a national, mainstream magazine cover. I hate the headline. Also, I have never read Dr. Sears book(s) or anything, so yeah it bugs me a bit that it's framed like we are some cult following of him. But I don't have a subscription to Time so I didn't read the whole article...
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