or Connect
Mothering › Groups › June 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Anyone else's older children having behavior challenges?

Anyone else's older children having behavior challenges?

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

My two older children are having major behavior issues right now! I find myself yelling a whole bunch and breaking up little squabbles and stuff all the time. And they just seem to keep doing really ridiculous things right now. DS is 5 and DD is 2 1/2. I'm 35 weeks and 4 days along, but this has been going on probably for a couple weeks.

 

I'm just wondering if somehow they are sensing and are affected by my upcoming labor and delivery. I know a lot of moms report their little ones acting up during early pregnancy, and I think mine did too. I don't remember if DS had issues before DD was born- it seemed like all through the pregnancy he was a challenge, but he was also 2 years old when that took place. And he didn't have anyone to fight with or get into trouble with. Lol!

 

Anyone else experiencing this?

post #2 of 15

Yes!  My 3.5 year old is keyed up.  Not only are we expecting a baby, but her daycare provider had a baby in April so she has been at an alternate daycare for 6 weeks which hasn't helped either....everything is in flux for her!

post #3 of 15

Yes here. Kids aren't acting totally out of character, but definitely fighting more. DS has had more "off" days than usual (he's the youngest)---i.e. not wanting to eat (totally not normal for him!) and crying alot. But there's alot of other things going on right now that they aren't fully aware of, but might sense that might be heightening the tension in the house for them. Kids are so sensitive and they process in different ways. I keep trying to remind myself that after a full day of whining, crying and demanding from both kids! Poor babies.

post #4 of 15

Yeah, I've been noticing some crazy stuff with DS too...mostly just a little more aggressive and possessive behavior, but also he seems to be regressing with pottying.  Or maybe it's just him communicating displeasure with me-- he pees right next to the potty when he knows I'm watching.  At the same time, he's also been the most cuddly he's ever been with me, and professes his need for me quite often.  I definitely think he's feeling the brink of change.

post #5 of 15

Yes! My 2 and 4 year olds have been testing my limits for sure.  I am hopimg they get it out of their systems before baby comes.  When we were adding our second child I really focused on my oldest a lot, even after baby came.  because all she needed was nursing, changing, and sleep.  I think the kids can sense that this time I am soooooo looking forward to a baby to hold, cuddle, snuggle, and smell - without big kids getting in the "way".  And thank you for making me realize and admit this!  Obviously something I need to work on now

post #6 of 15

Yeah my 4 year old DS is driving me batty. He is just not listening to me and sometimes doing the opposite of what I ask. My daycare kid is also being moody. We have had lots of emotional upheaval this week (one of DS and daycare kids preschool teachers and my co-worker committed suicide last Sunday bawling.gif ) but he behavior stuff was happening for the last 2 weeks or so it just has intensified this week but the little ones are having to process a lot and well I have also been an emotional wreak.

post #7 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy View Post

Yeah my 4 year old DS is driving me batty. He is just not listening to me and sometimes doing the opposite of what I ask.

This exactly. I'm going bananas. Then I feel like b*tch mommy.
post #8 of 15

Butterfly_mommy, I'm really sorry to hear that about your co-worker...That's terrible.  Sending love your way.
 

post #9 of 15

Butterfly_mommy, I am so sorry to hear about your coworker. Prayers. greensad.gif

 

My DD has been tantruming more (twice within the past three days), but I'm not sure if it is pregnancy/sibling related. I think she's just now starting to react to stress that way. Both times have been when she is really tired. Otherwise she's been fine and seems excited to meet her baby brother!

post #10 of 15

I don't have any older children, but DH has been acting very needy lately. When he comes home from work, he wants to spend just about every minute together...if he can't sleep at night, he wakes me up (on purpose!!!) to complain about it, and will carry on for a while before taking my advice to help with whatever is keeping him up. Needs me for every little thing...I think he's actively looking for attention/affection from me. I don't know why. Did anyone else's DH do something odd like this towards the end of their first pregnancy? I wonder if he's feeling insecure about how baby will change things around here. Maybe that's why he's looking for so much attention from me, he needs reassurance that I'll still have time for him or something? Any ideas? I don't know why he's doing this, but it's really starting to get on my nerves. But I'm worried about hurting his feelings and making him feel worse if I bring it up. Anyone know how best to deal with this?

post #11 of 15

DS has just started this week with the not listening and purposefully being rough and aggressive.  I'm sure that he senses a change coming but might also just be hitting a growth spurt or other 2.75 year old thing.  I've heard that 3 can be more challenging that 2, so I'm a little apprehensive about the new baby change coming along with the 3 year old phase too. 

 

mforeback, it made me smile to see that you are having the same issue with your husband that we are having with 2-5 year olds.  If I were you, I would address this with him now because things will only get way worse when the baby is born.  Your DH needs to realize right now that the baby will be your priority (and his) for the first few months (and possibly longer) and he has to be ok with taking a back burner with the attention thing.  I don't think that DH or I realized what a mindf*&^ first time parenthood really is.  We basically took a sabatical from our relationship for 6 months or so after DS was born cause we both realized that we couldn't parent high needs DS without our relationship taking a back burner.  I also ended up with severe birth trauma from a 3rd degree tear and bad repair that completely ruled out sex for 9 months which I obviously couldn't have foreseen.  It worked out fine and we have a strong, committed relationship but if DH would have been needy with me during those first months of DS's life, I would have killed him.  Or left.  I'm not saying any of this to scare you.  I'm sure many couples have a different newborn experience.  But if you are sensing issues now, I really would gently bring it up.  Maybe your DH really wants to talk about it but doesn't know how.   

post #12 of 15

My kids are much crazier than usual, but they always are this time of year. May-June is guaranteed chaos. 

 

I think I'm almost like mforeback's dh, my dh has been out and busy doing his own thing while I am stuck home with the kids and obviously a little grumpy to begin with... so any chance I get I've been trying to get him to spend more time with me. He's sick, too, which isn't helping. This is his first baby, too, so I feel like I have all these things I need to teach him before the baby comes and I feel really annoying. In reality I know there is pretty much nothing I can do to prepare him, he has no idea what is about to happen!

post #13 of 15

Just replying to the latest posts about our DH's...mine has been super busy the whole pregnancy and I feel like I'm haven't the opposite problem--he's not needy but doesn't seem tuned in to this pregnancy like the last ones. I just don't know what to do. He is a wonderful father and DH. I just somehow feel alone in this pregnancy and am at a loss how to help him realize how much things are going to change--again!

post #14 of 15

butterfly mommy, I am so sorry to hear that. My thoughts and love to you...what a horrible loss to be struggling with right now. :(

My almost 4 year old is completely over-joyed to be expecting a new little one...but I am definitely sensing some issues with her. She has been perfectly potty-learned for almost two years and is suddenly having such a hard time with nighttime bed wetting that she has to wear a diaper to bed at night. We're not having a lot of behavior problems...just little bits of sort of "regression-y" behavior with my DD. My youngest(DS) is very excited about the baby, but I don't think he really understands so much how big a deal this is, and so, is not as effected.

My DD is 100% positive about the baby coming....but the waiting is getting to her (and me!). I'm trying to stay really low key about it and wait peacefully so that I don't get her wound up about it, but she is sick of waiting and I think the anticipation is killing her and causing stress for her.
 

post #15 of 15

my kids are excited. but i have noticed a little more attention seeking behavior from DD1 and 2. but DD2 is still potty learning at a good pace. i make sure to give them attention when they need it. it is going alot better this time than last time. my DH has been needier as well. he doesnt want me to co sleep this time. he said it was bc of the hard time we had getting dd2 in her own bed but we did not have a hard time with her. i think it is bc he knows how it impacts our relationship. and that was my fault. i just let it all go bc i was tired and breastfeeding so i didnt want to dtd or cuddle. and he rememebrs that and i think he is afraid. i read a book called "sex in the time of colic" that made me feel better. the 2 people who wrote the book coslept and breastfed and i think that their perspsective really helped me understand where i went wrong last time. i am hoping to take care of his needs better this time. i am still going to cosleep. i would have to even if i didnt want to bc there is no room in our trailer for anything else. my DH is getting over his crisis but i have had to give him as much attention as the kids. :)

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: June 2012 Birth Club
Mothering › Groups › June 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Anyone else's older children having behavior challenges?