Our moms « Back to Group Discussions

[iixivboots]

I just wanted to start a mother's day thread where we could each say a little about our own moms.

However, one caveat, let's also acknowledge here that not all families are the same, feel free to share a story about whomever nurtured you and you celebrate as your female parent.

My mom grew up on a dairy farm in Iowa, she was #4 of five girls. After high school she went to community college to become a medical assistant, married my dad, moved to be with him while he went to law school, and worked until my brother was born. She stayed home with us and also helped out my dad at his law office. We went through two majors moves before my dad became a judge in Indiana where they are now. She has a pretty impressive list of medical challenges that she faces daily. She has MS, type II diabetes, hypertension, hypothyroidism, kidney problems, and a blood clotting disorder. Most recently she is recovering from major back surgery to repair a disc and entrapped nerves. She always keeps a positive attitude and does not complain about the pain or discomfort she copes with. She is a fantastic cook and one of the sweetest, most social people I know. She has limitless curiosity and compassion for everyone she meets. I was not an easy kid to raise and she still loves and supports me despite the problems I caused as a teenager. She's going to be a great grandma!

[KristyDi]

I just have to say that I freaking love my mom.  I kind of find it hard to quantify what exactly it is she did that made her so awesome.  She just was.  She has this quiet strength. She almost never complains and just always does what needs doing without drama or histrionics.  She has this confidence in who she is and does not feel the need for others' approval.  She was always different from other moms and it never occurred to me that that might bother some kids.  Probably because it so clearly didn't bother her.

My mom is tough, both physically and emotionally.  Nothing beats her for long.  I can not remember a time when she's totally lost it.  She's absolutely the person you want with you in a crisis.

She's an awesome athlete, which for her generation, made her a bit of an outcast.  I've seen her knock the crap out of fast balls in the 90mph batting cages, out-drive the men on the golf course, and serve a trash-talking jerk off the volleyball court all without being cocky or less than gracious.  Oh and in the 90mph batting cage, I saw her take one of those balls right on her hand.  She calmly set the bat down, looked at my dad and quietly said, "Bill, I think we need to go to the hospital." When we got there we saw that the ball had broken 2 fingers and taken her thumbnail clean off. (see, tough)

I was a daddy's girl growing up.  Not that mom and I didn't get along or that I didn't love her dearly.  I just understood my dad more.  He and I have some very similar challenges and or brains work the same way.  But as I've become an adult and even more since I became a mom myself, I've come to see just how remarkable and unique she is.  I appreciate just how difficult the things she made look easy are.  And I love the relationship we have now.  We have so much more in common that I ever thought as a teen.

My dad often says that one of the best things he ever did for his children was choosing their mother.  He's absolutely right.  Somehow the two of them (it's impossible to think of them as anything but a team when you think about child rearing) managed to raise 4 successful, happy, well-adjusted, children that are not only educated, responsible, contributing members of society but love each other and enjoy spending time together.  I hope I can say the same when my kids are grown.

I felt the need to attach a pic. This is a couple of years ago at my youngest brother's wedding.  Left to right, DH, me, DD, Mom, brother 2, SIL, Dad, brother 1, sister.

[pennywhistle]

My mom & I have definitely had a complicated relationship, but I have so much love for her.  She lives about 5 miles away, and I am so excited to watch her become a grandma.  Here's my parents at my wedding last December:

She may make me crazy some (most) of the time, but I've always known how much she loves me.  She's coming over tomorrow to help me start a vegetable garden, so my Mother's Day gift to her is to let her give me as much advice and "constructive criticism" as she wants, without a peep from me.

Also, she birthed me at home, and is making it financially possible for us to do the same.  Nothing but love for my mama.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

This Mother's Day is incredibly difficult for me. I lost my mom last September. She passed away suddenly and unexpectedly, and we never really got a satisfying explanation for what happened.  She had an "enlarged heart" and the theory is that she may have had an arrhythmia but she was totally healthy and just collapsed.  She was 56.  She did not smoke or abuse drugs, she was not overweight, she exercised regularly, and it wasn't a heart attack, aneurysm, stroke, blood clot - nothing.  I spoke to her at 12:30, and she was gone by 2.

We had a very troubled relationship. She was involved in an abusive relationship for the last 21 years, and her boyfriend was responsible for an incredible amount of conflict over the years due to his abuse of my mother, me, my brother, and all of my mother's close friends and siblings.  Over the last 4 years, we had started to rebuild our relationship.  It is devastating beyond explanation that I won't ever have a chance to fully rebuild it. 

That being said, I am so deeply thankful for what she gave me. She was beautiful, intelligent, creative, artistic, loving, generous and thoughtful.  She was there at my wedding and the birth of my first child. She was the one I called at 4am when I was sobbing because my daughter absolutely refused to nurse when she was 3 days old. She was an attachment parent before there was a name for it, and because of her love at the beginning of my life, I am a stable, well adjusted adult. I went through some darkness to get here, but I know without her, I would be a very different person - and not a better person. 

I miss her so much. It feels like part of my heart is missing and will forever leave a gaping wound never to heal. 

This is her and me when I was 1 or so.

And this is her just a few months before she died. 

[LilyTiger]

I love these.  Mom's are so complicated.  My mom lives just a few miles down the road (with my dad), so it'll be so exciting to watch her become a grandma.  She loves babies with a passion that cannot be expressed (she's totally the lady who croons over stranger's strollers at rest stops) and she'll just be a great grandma.  We had a somewhat complicated relationship when I was growing up, partially because she has a hard time understanding how comments she makes make other people feel.  My sister and I think it has something to do with the fact that she has been a psychologist in a psychiatric hospital for thirty years.  I'm not sure she really understands how to communicate with the non-mentally ill.  Even when she says hurtful things, it comes from a good place and she doesn't have a mean bone in her body, and as I've gotten older I've gotten better about recognizing what she's trying to say rather than how she's saying it.  I've also gotten insanely protective of her, part of which might be that she is tiny and adorable at only 5' tall and part of which might be that friends of mine have lost their parents and I can't even stand the thought of living in the world without my parents.  It makes me curl up in agony just thinking about it.  Fortunately, women on my mom's side of the family are pretty long lived (late 90's all of them), so I'm hoping I get to hang onto her for a long time.  I'm really really excited to watch both my parents become grandparents.  It's such an exciting time and I'm so lucky to have both my parents around to be here for it.

I should also mention my MIL is also awesome (and tiny and adorable, incidentally).  She's super motherly and just generally sugary and sweet.  I'm very lucky to have her as well, and she lives in the same area, so our baby will have two tiny adorable grandmothers who will cuddle and spoil from birth on. 

[Sol_y_Paz]

I have loved reading these mom stories and seeing pictures.  The relationship with my mom meant so much and still does even today. 

Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 5/13/12 at 8:18pm

[dovemama]

Awww, I missed this post on mother's day! Such a sweet and precious way to share about our moms. Very awesome! 

Blessings to you all!