Weekly Chat Week of May 14th !! - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[bjacques]

Well, let's see.  I have a delivery date set now - August 6th, 8:30.  Fingers crossed nothing changes that.

School is winding down for the kiddos.  I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of having both of my daughters in the "high school".  (Our private school runs from grades 7 - 12.)  The end of the year chaos is in full swing.  May Procession this afternoon, field trips, uniform sales... just nonstop.  (May Procession is a very old Catholic custom involving crowning Mary.  We didn't do it when I went to Catholic school, so I'm looking forward to my daughter's involvement in it today.)  We're in the early stages of painting bedrooms.  The girls are going to share now and we've agreed to let them paint it (gulp) orange.  It's only paint, right?

I've stuck to my goal of stepping back in my volunteer involvement.  I've been wickedly involved for the past 15 years.  I'm looking forward to reeling it back and soaking up every second of this baby's infancy.

Still no progress on the name front.  I suppose we should work on that, eh?

[ilovetchotchkes]

Originally Posted by bjacques 

Well, let's see.  I have a delivery date set now - August 6th, 8:30.  Fingers crossed nothing changes that.

School is winding down for the kiddos.  I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of having both of my daughters in the "high school".  (Our private school runs from grades 7 - 12.)  The end of the year chaos is in full swing.  May Procession this afternoon, field trips, uniform sales... just nonstop.  (May Procession is a very old Catholic custom involving crowning Mary.  We didn't do it when I went to Catholic school, so I'm looking forward to my daughter's involvement in it today.)  We're in the early stages of painting bedrooms.  The girls are going to share now and we've agreed to let them paint it (gulp) orange.  It's only paint, right?

I've stuck to my goal of stepping back in my volunteer involvement.  I've been wickedly involved for the past 15 years.  I'm looking forward to reeling it back and soaking up every second of this baby's infancy.

Still no progress on the name front.  I suppose we should work on that, eh?

I think its awesome that you guys let them pick the color. My parents told me I coudl pick the color when we moved as a child, and I said "PURPLE". they figured i'd get sick of purple. *ahem* yeah no. They ended up painting it pepto pink. I hate pink. There are no words for my loathing of pink. 

[LilyTiger]

Just a quick update... realized I forgot the Spotlight Thread this week!  Instead of cutting someone short three days I'll just post it on Monday.  The current list is as follows:

1. Carolina Kel
2. rebecca10
3. Geigerin
4. LilyTiger
5. smbcoffee
6. ilovetchotchkes
7. lakeruby
8. LeAnn A Doula
9. mommamelissa

I'll bump the thread again in case any new mommas to the boards want to get in on the action.  We still have slots before we're all due.

[ithappened]

BJ I LOVE that you let the DCs pick the color. I so so wanted a yellow room growing up and my parents never let me change it from white-- once I moved out, one of the first things I did was paint my apartment bedroom yellow :)
 

[NewMumJoy]

Hi Ladies!

ithappened and Penny - sorry about the stress you're up against, just keep on taking good care of yourselves....

Boots - good luck finding out the gender this week!

KristyDi - good luck finding your new ob/mw and getting your house in order...do you have a moving date planned?

Jackie - sorry to hear about the GD.  How often do you have to go in for additional monitoring?  I'd be interested to hear what dietary changes they have you make, good luck!

Chotchkes - sorry you're still stressing about your LO being breech!  I'm sure that you're already doing some of the recommended exercises.... time/odds are still in your favor - just try to relax and let it happen!

BJacques - enjoy all your new freed up time!!

I'm having a crappy week.  I had been feeling really good emotionally throughout this pregnancy but some loneliness and isolation are creeping in.  My DH travels to the U.S. every other week due to ongoing complications/delays at his job site (construction of a museum that was supposed to be completed last July).  And being the dedicated dad that he is, he keeps his visitations w/his 10 yr old daughter (who lives in MI w/her mom) every other weekend too.  He's been under so much stress w/work, supporting his daughter, and feeling guilty about leaving me behind, that I'm trying my best to keep my chin up and be supportive as possible.  He's the breadwinner after all and I get to stay home all day on an "extended sabbatical", so what should I be complaining about.  But spending this Mother's Day completely alone really sucked.  My friends and family all live on the east coast and no one is able to come visit me here.  And this week DH is home for 2 days and then leaves again tomorrow for a "boys long weekend getaway" which he'd been planning since last year.  He totally deserves this trip, but here I am alone - again.  Blah.  He has increasing commitments in June/July that I'm starting to worry about myself/baby - like possibly going through labor/birth on my own without him, how disappointing that would be!  Thank God I have a doula....  

[ithappened]

NewMum being an expat is hard and lonely. I relate to so much of your post this week. Being alone on holidays and not having any family within a 20 hour plane flight just sucks.. I was never prepared for the reality that its impossible to get a break and when you do it cost a lot of money (babysitters here are not cheap) so as a result we maybe get to go out alone 1 time a year... Its really hard, esp when pregnant and I find even more so after the baby is born because sometimes you just want/need an hour and its not an option.. .

I also relate on giving birth alone- I've been trying to process that as a very real reality. . . Its really hard living in a country where you aren't native speaker, you look extremely different etc etc etc There are so many times I just wish I could speak English to someone. I think most of us who move abroad (or at least I did) had such a romantic notion of what it would be like and having traveled so much I was sure I knew what I was getting into-- but being in a place for a few months vs a few years is a total game changer... Its gotten easier, or maybe I've just gotten used to being alone in so many ways I never imagined.. .. who knows. I have spent the last two months working on accepting the idea that I will give birth in a giant state run hospital, in a different language without a single support person there for me. . .

Will you have any family visit after the birth? Or friends? How big is the town/city you live in? I know a lot of bigger places have expats groups and support systems for people in our very situation.. . I wish we lived closer, I'd come over, give you a big hug and we could share our stories of this weird life we're living..
 

Edited by ithappened - 5/17/12 at 12:26am

[iixivboots]

Okay, the ultrasound is scheduled for Friday at 3. Wish us luck and a cooperative baby!
 

[intime0]

Yeah, totally, we were thrilled to be in AU where everyone spoke good English...true they had accents but we could understand them better!  It can be difficult at times.

[NewMumJoy]

Thanks so much, ithappened!  Yeah, my situation is definitely manageable compared to living overseas and having major language/customs barriers.  What frustrates me is that I am "only" a few hours flight from my family/friends, yet I can't seem to get anyone out here on short notice (they have kids, commitments, jobs, etc) - and I'm ready to pay for their flights!  My MIL will come in the last 2 weeks of July to wait for baby's arrival and she'll stay as long as we want her to.  So at least I'll have some coverage in case I go into labor while DH is away - I will just be sooooo disappointed if he misses this.  And I have my doula, who should step-up the support if I need it.  My Dad refuses to fly for some reason, so my parents plan to drive 34+ hrs (each way) for a visit in August to meet the baby (which I feel super guilty about).  And, hopefully we'll be back on the east coast by the end of the year so there is an end to this scenario - it's just disappointing to not be able to share this pregnancy (such an important time in my life) with the people that I care most about back home....

I know there are also resources here for me to meet new people, I've just been really unmotivated to leave the house during the long cold winter.  But now that spring is here to stay, there really is no excuse.....

[ithappened]

it's just disappointing to not be able to share this pregnancy (such an important time in my life) with the people that I care most about back home....

ah you just summed things up in one sentence for me newmumjoy I remember when I was pregnant with DS1 passing a little boy with his grandparents and they were having so much fun together and I started to cry pretty hard because DS1 would never have that as long as we live abroad. I had such a great close relationship with my parents and it makes me so sad DS will never have that too.... I miss my good friends in the US or even having friends with kids (none of mine here do).. I really am sad I don't live closer to my parents and sister some days.. ,.

Its great you have your MIL!! I am hoping my parents will come visit for 2 weeks or so after the birth but like your parents, getting my mom on an airplane is an act of God so almost always, if we want to see them, we have to travel to them.. it makes it really hard for us because it means an international 24-26 hour flight, in coach, with 3 kids under 3 and a dog.. and last I checked the alcohol is not free

Is there any chance your DH could take off a few weeks around your DD ?
 

[NewMumJoy]

Originally Posted by ithappened 

I remember when I was pregnant with DS1 passing a little boy with his grandparents and they were having so much fun together and I started to cry pretty hard because DS1 would never have that as long as we live abroad. 

Same sentiment here.... My SIL and I are always daydreaming about how we can get everyone to live in the same state, so that our kids can grow together with their cousins/family and share those happy childhood memories....

DH's Michigan job should now be wrapped up in July (although we said that a YEAR ago) so he'll be traveling less, hopefully.  Then it'll just be every 2nd or 3rd weekend to see his daughter - which I'm trying not to interrupt - so timing could still be dicey.  We only live 4 miles from his current project (here in Winnipeg) which is on schedule to complete this summer, so he should actually have a few months OFF before the next job begins in NYC.  This guarantees him plenty of time at home - at least after Baby's arrival - which will be super nice... so fingers are crossed!!!

[intime0]

We had a wonderful 4 year run where we lived in the same small town with DH's parents and sister/bil and family.  We got together every Monday.  And for homeschool stuff and holidays.  It was awesome.  So the cousins all have really amazing relationships.  Even after SIL moved an hour away we still got together pretty regularly.

My MIL is coming over in August. It's our daughter's birthday so it's win-win. My FIL doesnt fly but we are hoping that he will. He LOVES his grandkids and he knows he wont seem them for at least another 6 monhts...which means it will have been a year and a half.  I know that kills him.  And he's never missed a birth.  That will kill him too.  So we'll see.

[ithappened]

good luck intime0 if that all works out it will be a really great time with the family.
 

AFM-

had a OB appointment this morning...  Doctor told me the twins are measuring so big already (32-34w) that she doubts I'll make it full term..

Also said if I haven't given birth by 38w I would likely need to be induced due to the current fluid levels etc .. which means my induction/due date would be July 24th now..

Edited by ithappened - 5/18/12 at 5:34am

[LilyTiger]

Whoa, ithappened!  Crazy.  How accurate are those measurements, do you know?  Did they do an u/s or just the fundal measurements?  Induction might be a blessing at that point, considering how much discomfort you might be in.  How are you feeling this week?  I have no idea what twins feels like, but I have to do pelvic rocks and squats constantly to prevent my entire pelvis from seizing up.  I can't imagine how this will feel in 2 months.

AFM this week,

I must have finally popped (I mean, I feel like I did that two months ago), because I've finally started getting the hilarious comments from strangers.  These three are from today alone.  Random Home Depot lady at the checkout complained (good naturedly) about people who don't find out the sex (like me) and then said I'm really all belly and quote "even your boobs aren't that big... I mean, I don't want to be weird or anything".  Well, I guess talking about my boobs in the checkout line is weird from most perspectives, but I'll let it slide.  And then our office cleaning lady, a very tiny little Ethiopian lady with not much English saw my belly in the bathroom and said, "Good!  Baby in there!"  And then a girl at the gym let me know that she thinks it's a boy from the way I'm carrying.  I find all of this hilarious, personally, and am soaking up the attention while I can.  Friends have told me that after the baby's born, no one bothers looking at you ever again.  So I'll take the hilarious belly stares.

How's everyone else doing?

[dovemama]

LOL! Lilytiger, I am having very similar experience. 

Last night I was waiting in line for a public restroom at a restaurant when a man begged me to use the men's before him. (Eww, no thanks, but you must be a good hubby)

Also, the checker at Trader Joes was so excited that I was the only person she had ever met who didn't know the sex of the baby 

So I must be a walking pregnant statement, because I am getting far more attention then my introverted personality likes. 

ithappened: Crazy measurements there! I don't know the first thing about a twin pregnancy, so it is interesting to hear your experience. How does the due date make you feel?

I know how you guys feel about being far away from family. It is so hard, and never have I ever had such a strong urge to be near my mum, except when I have been a new mum myself. 

I actually sort of had a little break down, in my second trimester with my last dd, and moved us across states, just so I could be near my family. My grandmother was losing her battle with cancer, and I felt so drawn to be with my clan, even though I do not want to raise a family here, or live in an area like the one they do. Can't say that it was the best decision ever, but I will never regret holding my gram's hand as she left me. 

Ok sorry, that got emotional. Just wanted to say that I completely commiserate and understand how the distance is a constant tug.

Goodness me, these hormones have really gotten the best of me lately. Dh thinks I am nuts. 

Had my first round of contractions/braxton hicks whatever you want to call them this morning. Exciting!

[ithappened]

Originally Posted by LilyTiger 

How accurate are those measurements, do you know?  Did they do an u/s or just the fundal measurements? 

She does both- I think it depends a lot on the skill of the person doing the measurements. With DS1 she was accurate with his weight and size/measurements the day before the birth within like 50-100g.. the measurements of his body/arms/head were 100% on. . . But I have heard stories where they can be off quiet a bit.. so I suppose it depends on a lot of factors. .

As for the pregnancy comments, I started to get them this last week! Its sort of exciting since with Linos not a single stranger here in our town ever said anything, I figured I just didn't look pregnant.. so its nice to have some random women come up and talk to me, its actually never happened before :)

Originally Posted by dovemama 

I know how you guys feel about being far away from family. It is so hard, and never have I ever had such a strong urge to be near my mum, except when I have been a new mum myself. 

I actually sort of had a little break down, in my second trimester with my last dd, and moved us across states, just so I could be near my family.

I totally relate. At some point I was so homesick after DS1 was born that I actually flew home (25 hours each way!) for a few weeks with DS1 because DH was so unhelpful and at the time I wasn't very good at German and felt so alone here. I had no friends in town and I didn't have a single person beside DH to support me and he was anything but.. It was a great decision but I also very clearly remember the breakdown.. anyhow.. you are not alone.

[NewMumJoy]

I guess pregnancies and having children really can change our needs and priorities, both in ways that we'd expect and didn't see coming.... intime, that would be huge if both your inlaws could make the trip to Asia to see you and meet the baby, I hope it all works out!

ithappened - ohhhhhh boy!!  You're now down to the 10 week countdown?  I do think that you'll be glad to have those babies in July, guessing how big and uncomfortable you might be by then....

How funny to hear about the preggo comments that everyone's getting nowadays.  I definitely feel like a spectacle as I waddle through our neighborhood walking the dog, or pausing halfway up my flight of stairs, or as the very frequent customer in line at the ice cream shop.....  But I do feel the attention/reaction is all positive, even if awkward at times!  People just LOVE pregnant women with all the hope and magic of life that they represent.  We are truly experiencing a blessed time and need to soak in all adoration while we can, haha!

I just got back from my checkup today and am still adjusting to the "simplified" prenatal care here in Canada (vs. the U.S).....I'm not getting the "usual" tests I've been expecting - such as the glucose tolerance and urine screening - they feel confident that they can gauge the baby's health based on my weight gain, fundal measurements and blood pressure readings and feel that's all that is needed for now.  They assured me that further testing is available "if needed", but in a public system they can't justify what they deem as "unnecessary" tests and procedures.  They really just stick to the old fashioned basics around here - in fact, I am only seeing a family practitioner!  My checkups are still every 4 wks.... I don't go every 2 wks until I reach 36 wks gestation!  I totally get it (they are nonprofit after all) and am learning to just go with the flow and follow their laid back approach.  It's just strange as I'm expecting to have all this information about my glucose/iron/protein/bp status (like all my other friends in the U.S.) and they look at me like "why do you worry about that?"   ...... But on a related note, I reviewed my birth plan w/my doc and he was downright cool with everything - assuring me that they don't even do most of the things I was asking to avoid (again, all those procedures and interventions cost $$ which they are not in business to be profiting from.....).

[ithappened]

My checkups are still every 4 wks.... I don't go every 2 wks until I reach 36 wks gestation!  I totally get it (they are nonprofit after all) and am learning to just go with the flow and follow their laid back approach.  It's just strange as I'm expecting to have all this information about my glucose/iron/protein/bp status (like all my other friends in the U.S.) and they look at me like "why do you worry about that?"   ..

its the same thing in Europe. even with 'high risk' twins I am going every 3-4 weeks until 34 weeks.. and they dont do any of the US stuff here either.. it took a while with DS1 to trust it but it seems to be working for the continent just fine :)
 

[youngspiritmom]

ithappened, I think an earlier due date is exciting.....I hope my baby comes sooner rather than later. My first was 10 days late and on his due date I thought "I can't get any bigger." No stretch marks up until that point.....fast forward ten days and I was basically a whale with lots of stretch marks. Oof.

AFM, I'm not usually a worrier, and I was never afraid of labor or birth with my first. I kind of just trust that this is a natural process. Anyway, during the last few days I have had a huge wave of worries come over me. My first concern is why I'm so SMALL this pregnancy. You all mentioned the comments........everyone keeps telling me they can't believe I'm due in 2.5 months and how small I look. My weight gain is about 11-16 pounds so far (I'm not exactly sure of my pre-preg weight). I remember being bigger, heavier, and just feeling a lot more BABY at this point with my first. No idea what's going on. I wish I was bigger. The baby is also transverse and seems to have been hanging out that way for a while -- that stresses me too.

My second worry is over labor. I've completely forgotten what it is ACTUALLY like -- I mean, the pain, the exhaustion, wanting to do anything to make it end (um, die) etc. Granted mine was super long. My first labor took me a while to process (uh, traumatizing) and I'm worried to relive that, even though I know it will be different.

My final worry is about after the baby comes. I was so sad, lonely, desperate for the first 4 weeks last time (really bad baby blues) which hit me out of nowhere. I was severely ill with breastfeeding problems. It was the worst time of my life...

.....I'm just getting afraid to "enter that cave" again......I really want things to be different this time....

[Lizbiz]

Ithappened - My friend just gave birth to twin girls and she went at 34 weeks!  Her girls are doing just fine and her birth went really well too - just some encouragement for you.  They are in the NICU for a little while - but only because they came a couple of weeks early - they are doing great and should come home soon.  I think, from what I know, most twin moms go early-ish rather than later.  That has to be one of God's graces to twin moms - not to have to go to 40 weeks with two little ones.  

I am actually about at the 10 week countdown too - if I give birth at the same time as my other two - I went at 37 1/2 weeks with both of them and I am almost 27 1/2 weeks.  Whoa!  And, I've done absolutely NOTHING to get ready for this baby - lots of other balls in the air right now plus two other busy kids.  And maybe I'm a bit in denial.  But good news is that my daughter (2 1/2) is totally potty trained (like overnight and naps too).  She practically did it herself in two days about a month ago - with a little help from a bag of M&Ms ;).  So - only one in diapers when the baby comes will be good. 

youngspiritmom - my first labor was really long and hard too and I remember fearing that the second time around.  My second labor was 1/3 the time of my first - thank God - and also, breastfeeding was hard for me too the first time (terrible, awful mastitis) and the first few weeks were no walk in the park.  The second time was so much easier - my body knew what to do, I knew what to do, and it was much smoother.  You'll bring that experience to bear on your second birth/postpartum period too - and it will make a big difference.  Also - hopefully you can set up more help this time so that you avoid feeling overwhelmed and down after the birth?  That the baby is transverse - at this point, don't worry - plenty of time to flip head down.  I know it's easier said than done - not to worry - but really - worry is so so consuming and annoying because it doesn't accomplish anything (speaking as a person who has had plenty of worrying experience!).  All will be well.  Really.  You can and will do this and it will be better.  Being a first-time mom is hard - even though it's also wonderful - it's really really hard - being a second time mom (for me) was so much more relaxed.