I cannot sleep and felt like I should get this off my mind since it's bugging me. I hate to type this out since it's something I'm really ashamed of. When I was a teen. (about 17 I think) I was watching my little sister who was around 4. My family has never been a child friendly type of family. I never knew how to relate to kids and they generally annoyed me. I was trying to listen to my walkman and my sister kept buggin me by jumping on my back and pulling my hair. I got so mad that I grabbed her arm and yanked her off of me very hard. She started crying and wouldn't stop so I knew something was wrong. I freaked and started calling my mom. She was at work and wouldnt answer so I kept calling (about 16 x) because i knew i had injured my little sister's arm. I made her a makeshift sling out of tp and eventually she cried herself to sleep. When my mom came home I told her what happened and she took her to the ER. It turned out she had a hairline fracture and needed a cast. I felt horrible about it and still do. My sister is now 12. I have apologized to her for it and we have a good relationship. My mother never "punished" me for it. She never really said anything about it and understands that it wasn't intentional.
My issue is that my brother is always bringing it up. My family got together a couple of months ago and he brought it up and said he had told his GF about how I broke sis's arm. I told them the story ( i was a teen,stupid, it was a hairline fracture, etc). Then today we got together for Mother's Day and he brought it up again. His GF also made the comment, "you have a history" which made me think, "wow, they must think I'm some closeted child abuser". This happened when I was a teen and I have come such a long way since then. I have 2 of my own children and I have a degree in Child Development. I have worked as a preschool teacher and although I'm currently a SAHM, I plan to go back to working w/ children in the near future. It bothers me that my brother is going around telling this story to people who won't know the back story/ details or how old I was when it happened. I feel like people might be whispering behind my back and that it might affect my career.
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to please not go around telling people? I mean I don't feel like this is something that I have to keep a secret but it's also something I'm very embarrassed about and I hate having to re-tell the story. Can I every redeem myself for this? I am not the person that I was back then and I hate having to talk about this. I feel like my brother should know. Our Dad was an alcoholic and there was a lot of anger/violence in our family back then but we have all (myself and my brothers) have come a long way from that.