Weekly Chat May 14-21 « Back to Group Discussions

[flavorfull1]

Hi Everyone,

How was your mother's day?  Mine was a little sub par because I am sick with some sinus/cough stuff so there was only so much I could do.  DD is sick too so she has to be held almost all of the time and really prefers mama.  We are moving in less than two weeks so we are trying to get out and do all of the things that we won't be able to do anymore. I will really miss brooklyn and my friends so that is getting hard.  I am really looking forward to being near family and near DH's work.  Well, DS has started collecting rocks and cannot find one so I need to go find it, our house is in a state of emergency until we find it!  Hope we do, it is one tiny rock ;)

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

My Mother's Day was great! DH made cookies and dinner, did all the laundry, and gave me lots of time to relax. Tavian was having a sleepy day after hitting the 6 week growth spurt round 1 (my kids do every spurt twice, apparently). So Saturday he was nursing more than once an hour all day, yesterday he slept. I love it.

I'm having a frustrating day though. My sewing machine just crapped out on me towards the end of a project, which means I get to set in some sleeves and do a hem by hand. BAH. And then buy a new machine, which is my xmas gift 7 months early.

Also, there's yet another shake up at DH's work. They just got a new CEO, but he just "resigned' over some stupid controversy about his resume, which means there's now an interim CEO and a new hunt. Which means in a year there'll be yet another round of layoffs because new executive always means more layoffs. Always. And since DH works in a satellite office it's up in the air if it'll stay open; recently ousted CEO seemed very supportive of this office, but a lot of people want to keep everything in California, so maybe they'll close it down. Either way, DH gets to update his resume and may start job hunting next year, which I'm really unhappy about. All this boils down to the fact that we might have to move in a year or so and I REALLY REALLY do not want to do that. At all. I love my town, I love my home, I'm so happy here, and moving would suck. I'd deal if necessary but I don't want it to be necessary.
 

And now Evie is determined to keep Tavian awake.

[lalazap]

Thanks for the new thread!

My mother's day was sweet - brunch by my SO and DSS, and my mom is visiting so it was special to spend mother's day with her. She's been here for a week and leaves on Thursday; I'm having my usual looking-forward-to-my-own-space-again-mixed-with-guilt-for-feeling-that-way thing ... ugh, it would be SO much easier if we lived closer together so every visit didn't have to be at least a week long and so loaded with importance. I'm sure once I'm here on my own I will be dying for help/company so I'm trying to just enjoy and appreciate her. She really has been so generous and gracious and helpful.

I've been on a couple of little outings but am not too interested in sticking her in the car or in driving - but I am also not able to walk for long, especially with her in the sling. I don't feel stir crazy but my DP wants me to get out more. I think he's worried I'm going to feel isolated and stuck once my mom leaves. Maybe we'll try a stroller outing today - my mom has been itching to get her into that thing.

Our baby is pretty sweet! She is 3 w old now and surprises me with how independent she can be. She loves her naked bum time and just hangs out talking to the window or the lamp. When she's fussing my impulse is always to increase contact - feed, swaddle, bounce, rock, shush,etc - but I'm having to consciously remind myself that what she might really need is just to be stripped down and left alone! It is not what I expected! A lot of it has to do with the state of her diapers - she hates sitting in a wet one and seems to get fussy just before a poop. I'm trying to tune into her signals in hopes of doing some amount of EC but these first weeks have been so chaotic, especially with c/s recovery, that I haven't been as on it as I had hoped.

DD has a lovely case of acne which I think is getting better every morning but looks gross again by the end of the day. I thought she also had a bit of a yeasty bum and mouth so we switched from disposable wipes and started slathering her often in coconut oil which seems to have helped the rash quite a bit. I've been giving her a bit of acidophilus but she's still pretty bright white on her tongue so who knows?

[RosieL]

Can't type but reading along. Hope you don't have to move, sfmb. Lala, I need to go find your birth story...I forgot why CS? Did your doc say no exercise before six weeks? DH doesn't like me going out alobe because it means I carry baby...a nono according to CS recov discharge papers.

[chiromama01]

yay for happy mommy's days!  

sfmb- sorry about dh's job situation.  frustrating, i know.  hope it all works out and you get to stay put.

lala- i love the mental image of dd talking to a lamp butt naked :)

AFM--I had a great mothers day, we did brunch at my moms, then took the kids to the pool at the gym, then barbequed with my parents and our neighbors that evening. on sat dh cleaned the house and did all the laundry, so sunday was as low stress as possible.  it was really nice.  

this morning my mom and i hosted a teacher appreciation luncheon at dd's school-- we do it every year, but this year i was wearing a not so small 5 week old (he's 12.2lbs already!) so i'm a little worn out! 

I have another seminar this weekend, then we move the office in 2 weeks, so i'm hoping to get some rest soon, so i can make it through all this! 

hope everyone else has a great monday!!

[RosieL]

Chiro I can't believe how much you pack in a day with a five week old.

[Thursday Girl]

Glad you all had good mother's days. Mine started out crappy, (the one thing I wanted was a clean house and it was trashed so I woke up and started cleaning) but it made a turn when I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and concentrate on making it nice for my mom.   I think I accomplished that goal. Then in the evening Hubs made me fried fish, which I have been asking him to make for weeks.  I never got the clean house but supposedly we might do something next Sunday although it's Hubs birthday  so we will do his stuff.  I guess I also wanted to go to this children's museum in the next town over (bought a groupon type thing) so I can get my passes that work at the children's and science museum in town.  I should go bug him and find out when we are going to do that.  I find I am being a bitch most of the time, I am just really in a pissy mood almost all of the time. Hubs is getting fed up with it and I just sort of randomly want to punch him in the face when he does stupid little things. Like when he offered $200 for the washing machine we just got instead of offering $175 like I told him.  I mean he didn't even TRY!

SFMB- I hope they don't get rid of that office, I'll keep my fingers crossed that the new guy likes this satellite office.

flavourful- good luck finding the rock.

lala- Coraline has bad acne too and the heat just makes it bright red and she totally looks like a pimple face teenager. I am so looking forward to that going away.

Chiro- the amount of stuff you do floors me, you are a very impressive lady indeed.

[piratemere]

Last night I went out grocery shopping with just Atticus (DH stayed home with my big boys) and I forgot my wrap. Let me tell you, I don't know how moms do it without baby wearing.  The longest Atticus has been in the car seat is about 1/2 an hour, and he always wakes up when I try to take it in or out of the van.  So, I brought it into Costco (our first stop) and put it in the cart, but he only stayed quiet for all of 10 minutes. Then I was doing a Costco trip with a baby in my arms, and only one hand to lift stuff off the shelf and onto the belt.  And then he did a mega poo, so I had to get the honkin' costco cart to the bathroom to change him, and not that it has anything to do with my wrap, but I gouged him with the snappi thing for his diapers, and then I had to pee really bad, so while he was screaming bloody murder I had to go to the bathroom while holding him, and couldn't nurse him, and then the food place was packed, so I couldn't stop there, and by the time we got back to the van where I could nurse him he had cried himself asleep in my arms...  (holy run on sentence, Batman!)  Anyway, maybe I will just never leave the house again. Oh that I were filthy rich so that I could afford a personal shopper. Next time that happens I will seriously drive home to get the wrap. It's not worth it without it. My next two stops, so the Health food store and the book store (to return the E-Reader that DH got me for mother's day but we really can't afford) went much better.  Does anyone know if you can give homeopathics to babies? I had Arnica but wasn't sure if I could, or how I would give him any for his Snappi wound. 

Thursday, I know what you mean about the clean house. Wouldn't I love to have it done for me, but I don't think it's ever going to happen. I've been seriously struggling with this since Atticus was born.  I feel like I'm such a nag all the time, trying to keep it clean.  With a baby in arms it's just almost impossible to do it myself most of the day, and so I just get mad about it instead. Maybe it's time to bring up the ol' swing (and when I say old, I mean, it's about as base as it comes) and see if I can get Atticus to sleep through a clean up.  Either that or I just need to accept that for the time being my house is going to be a disaster.  I'm not very good at that.

Whoa, that was a complain-y post.  Sorry ladies.  I'm actually doing really well. Atticus is a dream, and we all love him so much.  Now that we've finally named him I find myself using his name way more than normal.  I just like saying it.  And I like telling people it.  It's Victoria Day in Canada this weekend, and we are going away for a few days. I'm excited, but worried about the drive (DHs cabin is 6 hours away.)  It will likely take us twice the time, if he doesn't sleep well.  Hopefully not.

[jess in hawaii]

Originally Posted by lalazap 

Our baby is pretty sweet! She is 3 w old now and surprises me with how independent she can be. She loves her naked bum time and just hangs out talking to the window or the lamp. When she's fussing my impulse is always to increase contact - feed, swaddle, bounce, rock, shush,etc - but I'm having to consciously remind myself that what she might really need is just to be stripped down and left alone! It is not what I expected!

Thanks for this reminder, lala. I am already finding the same thing... if I make my little guy comfortable, I don't have to nurse constantly, and I think that's the right choice for us. He still gets TONS of attachment, but his free time is valuable too.

Sounds like everyone's having some trials and triumphs... how are those hormones treating ya? lol.

AFM - just now started leaking from my extra big 3rd day boobies... oh joy.

[saudade]

Originally Posted by RosieL 

Chiro I can't believe how much you pack in a day with a five week old.

Yeah that. I have only taken Lennon out a few times and it's majorly stressful for me. I'm still spending most of my days hanging out in bed with her, nursing constantly or napping because I'm so exhausted. I am lucky if I get two showers a week. I'm in school...but I'm taking only 8 credit hours this term and both my classes are online but last week I couldn't even complete my work by the deadline. I feel quite inadequate compared to some of you mamas who are taking care of other little ones (I don't even have any other little ones...my other kids are all ages 9-16 and with their dad!) going back to work and getting out of the house and doing things! I don't know how you all do it!

[Mom2SammyJoe]

Hi all

I have been reading but have not posted in a while. About a week after Jedidiah waas born, DH convinced me to quit hoarding my birthday money and buy the Kindle Fire I have been wanting. I am loving it! I use it for most of my on-line stuff (email, FB) and to keep up with you all. I just hate how slow it is to type anything, so I have been quiet.

I am with you all on the messy house. I got DH to vacuum once in the last 3 1/2 weeks. I have swept up a little here and there, but it is getting bad. I broke down in tears and asked how much a cleaning lady would cost, but he just said we would get through it. I think we could afford to have someone come a few times, but I don't think he took me seriously.

My midwife came for a post partum chat today. It was really good to see her. My birth was really intense, and I am still trying to process that. She and the doula have been great to talk to. I keep working on typing my birth story. I hope to have it ready to share before Jedidiah turns one :)

The midwife marveled at my baby, which I love. She cannot believe how big he is, saying he looks 2-3 months old. We weighed him, and he is up to 11 lbs 11 oz. He was 9-9 at birth and went down to 9-2 exactly 3 weeks ago before he started gaining. He is a good eater!

I am trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. It seems like I would know what I am doing since this is my third, but I am realizing I can do better and be gentler than I was in the past. I have never been into attachment parenting, but that seems to be what Jedidiah wants. My first child I used BabyWise, and it worked for us. My second we also used it, but not as strictly. This time I read it and put it back on the shelf. I have been reading Dr. Sears instead. Jedidiah is in bed with us every night. The other kids didn't spend a single night in our beds. He takes at least one nap a day in the sling. I don't know. I don't really want him in our bed long-term, but right now it gets us some rest. He is getting better about staying asleep if I put him down asleep during the day, but at night I can't stay awake to get him asleep. He's been great at nursing laying down since day one, so we are going with it. Tonight I am going to move the bassinet so it is touching the bed and see if that makes any difference. I have thought about a co-sleeper, but I don't want to buy one and then not use it.

[saudade]

this is exactly why i have major anxiety about going out. i feel for you jenny! nak

Originally Posted by jennyvangy 

Last night I went out grocery shopping with just Atticus (DH stayed home with my big boys) and I forgot my wrap. Let me tell you, I don't know how moms do it without baby wearing.  The longest Atticus has been in the car seat is about 1/2 an hour, and he always wakes up when I try to take it in or out of the van.  So, I brought it into Costco (our first stop) and put it in the cart, but he only stayed quiet for all of 10 minutes. Then I was doing a Costco trip with a baby in my arms, and only one hand to lift stuff off the shelf and onto the belt.  And then he did a mega poo, so I had to get the honkin' costco cart to the bathroom to change him, and not that it has anything to do with my wrap, but I gouged him with the snappi thing for his diapers, and then I had to pee really bad, so while he was screaming bloody murder I had to go to the bathroom while holding him, and couldn't nurse him, and then the food place was packed, so I couldn't stop there, and by the time we got back to the van where I could nurse him he had cried himself asleep in my arms...  (holy run on sentence, Batman!)  Anyway, maybe I will just never leave the house again. Oh that I were filthy rich so that I could afford a personal shopper. Next time that happens I will seriously drive home to get the wrap. It's not worth it without it. My next two stops, so the Health food store and the book store (to return the E-Reader that DH got me for mother's day but we really can't afford) went much better.  Does anyone know if you can give homeopathics to babies? I had Arnica but wasn't sure if I could, or how I would give him any for his Snappi wound. 

[Thursday Girl]

jenny, i went to ikea and forgot my wrap, what a pain! I was holding Coraline, the diaper bag, an easel, bowls, cups, plates and a pack of forks.  I finally made some guy that worked there carry the easel to the car (seriously no one offered me help) and then my 3 year old wouldn't walk anymore b/c she wore dress up shoes and they were giving her sores on her feet so I had to carry her as well...and the guy carrying just the easel didn't offer to take the plates and bowls and such. Then, since my van broke and I was driving Hubs truck, I accidentally hit the panic button on the keys and didn't know how to get it to stop.  So not fun, my wrap or beco goes everywhere with me now!

So who else's bay smiles all the time? It is super cute, Coraline really liked it when I read to her earlier today and she sure does like her sister Josie especially. She does NOT like screaming and my girls (and me too) do way more of that than we should and it upsets her.

okay off to comfort the 3 year old from the 9 year olds wrath. Joy

[prettyisa]

Lala—My DD has acne, too, but it’s starting to look better. I was at the dermatologist for myself but he was so taken with the baby that we spent most of the appointment cooing over her and he said that she just needs time to get over it, which was reassuring, because it looks super-gross. She also talks to the wall-hanging over her changing table.

Sunflower—what a mess. Hopefully the transition will be smooth and your DH won’t need to look for another job.

Flavorfull—oh no! I hope you found it. Good luck packing—it sounds like it’s going to be a challenge!

Chiro—wow. What a lot going on! Once you move offices will things settle down, or just keep going?

Thursday—I have been totally irrational lately about having a clean house. And we already were at capacity with the junk we have BEFORE my mother went and bought every pink thing within a 50 mile radius of her house, so I hear your pain. Glad it got better, though, and that you got your fish! That sounds excellent, actually…

Jenny—I’d call him by name all the time, too! And that sounds like the shopping trip from hell. So far I’ve been lucky on that front, but I feel like DD is just saving it up for a really good meltdown.

Mom2SammyandJoe—it’s got to be such a different experience parenting multiple children. I’ve only got the one, so listening to what she needs feels like the only way to do things, but I think that your newest one probably just needs a different style from the others. Good for you in figuring out the best for each child, and not just doing what you always do because it’s more comfortable for you!

Things here are going well—Edie is still pretty chill, though we’ve had Adventures in Burping, since she doesn’t like to, but REALLY doesn’t like not to. Not fun. I’ve been making myself get out of the house every day, which is keeping me sane, but I’m still amazed at how little I get done in a day. Today I managed to fish out my sewing machine and make little sun hats for her and a friend’s baby, so that was positive, but I feel like one little errand eats up my whole day.

[chiromama01]

Re: Clean houses-- i feel your pain.  dh's efforts this weekend were amazing, but it's the first time we've had a somewhat clean house in 6 weeks or so.  I'm thrilled, for now, until it gets dirty again...It's really frustrating, so i totally empathize with you ladies who long for floors that don't crunch and table tops that don't double as an etch-a-sketch ;)

Re: wraps/baby carriers-- i never leave home without my maya sling.  it's an absolute life saver.  i had a moby wrap for dd, but the sling is so much easier, and it's got a pocket big enough for all the essentials, so i can shop and snuggle all at once...

Re: parenting styles-- it's a very wise parent who can identify what her child needs, especially when it's different than what you've always done.  mommytosammy--i'm so glad you're finding youre groove in new territory.  i hope i can identify my child's needs as quickly as you did..

AFM-- thanks for the kind words.  I was no where near this productive 5 weeks after having my daughter, and i could never have imagined doing as much as i'm doing now, but i guess you do what you have to do...right? in general, i usually feel like i've been hit by a truck by the end of the day, but i try to remember to be grateful for the fact that i have a job that i love, and the ability to help support my family (which, given dh's currently salary, is a necessity).  so i guess right now its all about perspective. I'm also incredibly grateful for all the help i have--it's almost ridiculous how much help i have.  (seriously, my mom is amazing-- I came home monday evening after work, and not only had she kept both the kids, she straightened the house, emptied the sink, cleaned the kitchen, and even set up coffee for this morning--AMAZING)

we move the office on may 31, and i'm excitedly preparing, ordering new equipment and preparing for our new adventure at our new place.  

Pretty--i used to think "my life will settle down as soon as..." and then get disappointed when it didn't happen.  now i'm just settling in the chaos...

and here's a quote i think you'd all enjoy...

dd: (while we're driving to school)  mommy...why can't you just gooooo....

me: because the light is red and that means stop...

dd: that's right mommy.  red means stop, yellow means slow down, green means go, and blue means PULL OVER!!!!

ahhh...only from the child of a cop...

hope you're all enjoying your tuesday! 

[saudade]

This is what I've found out about my Moby. I haven't even used it except at home because it doesn't seem convenient for a quick run to the store or something. I've got my eye out now for a good deal on a used Maya Wrap because I think I'd feel better about taking her out for quick trips if I had a quick and easy ring sling.

Originally Posted by chiromama01 

Re: wraps/baby carriers-- i never leave home without my maya sling.  it's an absolute life saver.  i had a moby wrap for dd, but the sling is so much easier, and it's got a pocket big enough for all the essentials, so i can shop and snuggle all at once...

[thomatuttle]

sfmb--bummer about hubby's work situation.  DH is a teacher, which never seems to be good these days when schools are constantly cutting budgets.  thankfully we live in a small enough community that we shouldn't have to worry about pink slips.  there are only 3 social studies teachers between the middle and high schools, and one even travels back and forth to teach classes. 

flavorful--sorry about the missing rock.  i know how it can be with little ones and wanting to find something that's missing.  they just don't give up!

lala--DS has beautiful baby acne too.  DD had it as well, right around the same time.  from what i remember, it lasted a few weeks so DS should clear up hopefully in another week or so. 

thursday--i'm on the same page with the pissy mood.  i feel like i'm going to get my period, because i feel the moodiness now that i usually get then.  i really hope that's not the case.  i don't think it is, but that's how it feels.

jenny--sorry about the crappy shopping trip.  i've definitely had those!

jess--i still occasionally have the overflowing boob action and i am 6 weeks pp!

saudade--i'm amazed by anyone who can go to school and care for a newborn!  even if you aren't going to class, just the mental energy that is involved can be exhausting.  make sure you enjoy some of this wonderful spring weather that we're getting though!  if i know i'm going to be using my moby.  i put it on at home so that i don't have to worry about putting it on in a dirty parking lot.

mommy2sj--it is definitely interesting to figure out what each kids needs are.  DD for the longest time would only sleep on me, while DS doesn't mind being put down to sleep as long as he is mostly asleep already.  he will also sleep on his back only if i am in bed next to him, but can sleep by himself just about anywhere else as long as he is on his tummy.  DD loved being swaddled, so i got a whole bunch of swaddlers and swaddle blankets for him only to learn he hates being swaddled! 

isa--getting out of the house keeps me sane too!  i've had to get out of the house a few times a week since he was 3 weeks because otherwise i would be pulling my hair out!!

chiro--it is pretty amazing how much you get done!  where does your energy come from?  i love that quote from your little one!  we were running late to a doctor's appointment before DS came and i was pulled over for going to fast () and also for having a tail light out.  in my defense, i was going with the speed of traffic so the extra aspect of the light being out is probably what really got me pulled over.  anyways, while we were stopped and the cop was checking my license DD  just keeps saying from the back seat: "Mommy, go faster, go faster!!"  i kept telling her mommy couldn't go faster and that was why we had to stop driving and talk to the nice man.  i think that was part of why the cop let me off with a warning!!

AFM--we're doing pretty well!  so happy that the weather here is finally nice!!  it's actually been hot here which has been a great change of pace!  i think DS is going through a growth spurt because all he does is eat and sleep.  he actually slept through the night last night!  he probably fell asleep in the living room around 9, then i changed him and took him to bed and nursed him back to sleep around 10:30.  DS woke up to eat about 6 and i realized that i hadn't changed him or fed him all night!  i was shocked!  i could definitely tell that he had slept all night, by the super full feeling in my boobs.  mother's day was pretty nice.  DH let me sleep in....well, as much as you can sleep in with an infant.  he did get up with DD though when she woke up.  we just relaxed most of the day and i even got in a little nap and washed the car (last year i cleared out a bunch of ivy from along the wall in front of our house!).  then we went out for sushi for dinner.  it was so good!  i crave sushi a ton when i am pregnant for some reason, even though i don't eat it that much when i'm not pregnant. 
 

[piratemere]

Originally Posted by prettyisa 

Things here are going well—Edie is still pretty chill, though we’ve had Adventures in Burping, since she doesn’t like to, but REALLY doesn’t like not to. Not fun. I’ve been making myself get out of the house every day, which is keeping me sane, but I’m still amazed at how little I get done in a day. Today I managed to fish out my sewing machine and make little sun hats for her and a friend’s baby, so that was positive, but I feel like one little errand eats up my whole day.

Can I just say that I almost like hearing you name little Edie as much as I love calling my sweet Atticus by his name.  I said it in the arrivals thread, but Edythe was our girl name, after my grandma.  I love having Atticus, but really hope one day I can have my Edythe.  (And Josephine was on our list of middle names!)

Originally Posted by saudade 

This is what I've found out about my Moby. I haven't even used it except at home because it doesn't seem convenient for a quick run to the store or something. I've got my eye out now for a good deal on a used Maya Wrap because I think I'd feel better about taking her out for quick trips if I had a quick and easy ring sling.

I use the Moby, and I just wrap myself up before I leave the house.  That way I just slide him in and out at each store I go to.  It's only cumbersome if I have to nurse, because I have to take the whole thing off and put it back on again.  I love how snug it is though.  After about 4 months I move up to the Ergo. 

[Thursday Girl]

carriers- I find my moby is easier to pull babe in and out than the beco. When she gets older i will switch to a pouch, but right now she does not like the pouch at all b/c it's too big.

chiro and thoma- I love your police stories, so funny.\

[prettyisa]

Oh, Jenny, I meant to write back about that but got sidetracked--I love that we both had the same girl names! When you mentioned it in the choosing a name thread it was the only other time i've seen someone mention Edi(y)the as a possibility, which was great--someone liked it! but not too many people were planning to use it! And Josephine was my grandmother's name. We've gotten a really great response to it so far. Some people obviously think it's a little weird or ugly, but there have been a lot of approving comments and people seem to like calling her Edie Jo. I guess we're a little more country than I realized! Of course now I want any other kids to have good hillbilly name options, too. Lulu-May, Billy-Bob, etc.