Weekly Chat May 14-21 - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[adoremybabe]

Lala - You aren't doing anything wrong.... Like Chiro said, she is fed, clothed, and loved.  I just started block feeding yesterday. I've never done it before but that's only because it has taken me 4 kids to realize that I have oversupply and forceful letdown. My left side is worse than my right. Juliet can be nursing on the right side for several minutes past the let down "feeling" and I'll still spray when she unlatches. It was kind of shocking to me. So this is what I do...

I nurse DD while laying back on the couch or a chair so that gravity works against her sucking. Think of it as the milk having to travel uphill. I also started block feeding for 2 hours at a time yesterday and even just 2  hours seems to help soooo much. So from 7-9 I nursed on the right side, then from 9-11 I nursed on the left side. It doesn't matter how often she wanted to nurse. I only stuck to the assigned side for that 2 hours.  I also noticed a more greenish color stool whick prompted me to start the block feeding.

If you can talk to your DH and tell him how you feel about his reaction and desire for you to go out more then do it. Just this past week I wrote a letter to DH because I was way too mad to actually talk to him. Men just can't understand what we go through.

Also, I can easily walk around a store and nurse because I have the experience but I still am not in the mood to leave my house. It takes all that I have to do so and I still feel like crying at the thought. I'm a total home-body after having a baby. .... and rightfully so!

AFM - Last night Juliet was unsettled from 7 till around 11. It was so trying. I'm glad that I didn't have anything that I HAD to get done. I tried handing her off to DH but she wasn't happy about that. She just wanted to keep nursing. So she'd eat, then fall asleep, then wake up, and then spit up what she just ate. I had more coffee than normal but still not exceeding the recommended limit yesterday so I'm wondering if that affected her.

We got our veggie garden planted on Saturday. I just have a few rows of flowers to put in the front and we'll be all set to watch it grow. I'm hoping that the work load won't be too terrible. I'm allowing DH to use the tiller to help with the weeds this year. Usually I prefer to do everything by hand. Today I'm going to try and get some baking done. Juliet's Baptism is in 2 weeks so I also have to start planning that.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful day!

Edited by adoremybabe - 5/21/12 at 6:10am

[flavorfull1]

nak

lala- we are in the same boat. last night dd was almost hysterical for 3 hrs.  frantic nursing alternating w crying and spitting up then repeat.  i am at a loss. all i do is wear her in the moby or nurse or rock and she will not let dh hep, she just gets more upset.  dh is really sympathetic and very encouraging which makes all of the difference.  i am sorry your dp is not being supportive. take as long as you need to feel comfortable doing anything.  all baby/mama units are different in their needs and the way they function. hugs, i totally get it.

i started probiotics and cut out dairy w dd. seeing a bit of improvement?  dr appt this afternoon to hopefully get meds or just some reassurance. i honestly cannot see how a screaming baby for several hrs each day could be normal. and the whole she seems in pain thing. this is our last week in brooklyn and I am really hoping to figure this out a bit more before we travel and spend time moving. we will be at my parent's house at least a week before our stuff arrives at the new place.  just feeling a bit discouraged and emotional today. blah.

on a cute note, dd will smile when we whistle, so sweet.

[tarabelle]

Rosie was SOOO fussy yesterday, I almost feel like maybe it was a growth spurt thing, but it was also the first really hot day here (only 33 degrees, but still an adjustment) so maybe she was just uncomfortable, even though I had her only wearing a diaper all day.  I just had no idea what to do with her aside from constant wearing and nursing.  She wouldn't even take a proper nap and usually she has two per day!  Needless to say I was exhausted by the end of the day (and very much enjoyed a big cold beer once she FINALLY went to sleep.)

I also have forceful let-down issues and what i believe is an over supply, so I have been black feeding pretty much since the get go. I usually do four hour blocks. The one day I tried not block feeding rosie's poos turned pretty much bright green, and i switched back to block feeding right away.  I was pretty proud that my instincts had been correct from the beginning when i didn't even really know what over supply or forceful let-down were.  It can be pretty trying for us when i switch sides and she just can't deal with the amount of milk that gushes out.  usually I take her off during the let-down and hand express some milk into a towel to relieve a bit of the pressure for her and then i out her back on.  Even with that she still will cry and detatch herself or clamp down on my nipple... ouch!!!

Long story short, rosie was super fussy yesterday and i think we are both still recovering, but this morning she gave me a huge smile!  A real one, too, not the usual ones we get when she is just drifting off or is getting ready for a poo.  What a moment!

[Aletheia]

Originally Posted by adoremybabe 

I have such terrible Carpal Tunnel right now. I tend to have some problems after pregnancy. I'm not sure why but currently, it is actually painful for me to button Juliets snaps on her sleepers. My wrists and knuckles are inflamed. I can't get my wedding ring on. Hopefully I can get into the chiropractor this week and get some help.

adore- I have this problem too.  I don't see a chiropractor, so I hope that does work for you.  But I do wear wrist braces when they get bad, and I also take Naproxen to help get the inflamation under control.  All it takes is a couple of days, usually.  Oh, and I ice them.  But it sucks to have so much pain in your hands and wrists when you pick up your baby!  Some people actually call this condition "Mother's Wrist".  Gar.

Originally Posted by NicMom 

We are starting EC, sort of nonchalantly, especially with family in town.  People get offended when I compare babies to puppies, but now that I have both, I can claim some authority.  Babies, just like puppies, don't want to soil themselves.  Just like a puppy that you have to take out to go the bathroom 50 times a day, it seems to be working with Savian.  Before doing EC at all, I was going through 30 diapers in two days because he can't stand to be in a wet diaper.  Now, doing it even partially, I am down to maybe 20 every 2 days.  It is pretty cool.

So glad to hear this!  EC is going well for us, too.  I love it so much.  I have gotten a little lazy.  I keep buying "just one more pack of disposies."  I need to wean us off those and totally onto cloth- that makes EC go so much better.

[thomatuttle]

Originally Posted by tarabelle 

Flavourful, I can't even imagine what that must be like for you.  usually every day around bedtime rosie goes through a bit of a fit where she doesn't know if she wants to nurse or not. she will make rooting gestures and i give her my breast only to have her reject it, latch poorly or choke and cough (i think because of a combination of a forceful letdown on my part and her need to suck/lack of desire to actually nurse.)

This is Jack every night around 8 or 8:30.  At least he's being consistent! 

I feel so bad when he breaks his latch and starts coughing because of my forceful spray.  Sometimes though, it's not right after I feel the letdown so it's hard to anticipate if I should pull him off before he does it himself.  I think I'm going to try the laying on my back with him on top nursing trick and see if that helps.  This morning, he was done nursing in bed so I laid him on his play mat to talk to and kick his little friends hanging from it and I pumped from my left breast because it was very full.  I need to start building up a supply of breastmilk for when I go back to work in July.  In just a short few minutes I already had 3 1/2 oz!  That seemed like a lot, but I can't remember if that's a lot for me or not.  Now I just hope that he'll actually take a bottle!  He's not a fan of a binky, but he will take it occasionally.  I think it may have to do with his tongue tie issue, but I'm hoping it won't affect bottle feeding.  It would be nice if DH could feed him occasionally too, so that I could get a break.  DH gets frustrated sometimes because DS just won't settle down for him.  It's frustrating for me too because a lot of times it means that DH and I don't eat until late because I can't get dinner made.  If he starts taking a bottle from DH, maybe that will help him associate yumminess with daddy too.  We're driving down to visit my parent's for a week or so in San Diego in the middle of June (a 16+ hour drive, which we'll be splitting into 1 days) and hopefully he'll be taking a bottle by then so that DH and I can get some time alone and apart from the kids.  Maybe we'll even get to go out on the town with some of my friends from home!  That would be such a great break!

Speaking of break, DH and I went to Costco by ourselves on Saturday!  We were visiting DH's hometown to celebrate our niece's 1st birthday.  After the party everyone went back to my FIL & SMIL's house and we left the kids with them and went shopping.  I was really nervous because while DD knows the grandparent's and her aunts and uncles, DS had only met grandpa so far.  I made sure to feed him and change him before we left though and I think that helped.  We came back to DS asleep in the arms of one of his uncles.  It was so cute and so nice to get out just the 2 of us! 

The weather here has been so nice and we've been able to get out and enjoy the weather a bit.  Every evening before dinner I water in the yard, and DD started joining me with her little watering can.  I fill it up for her and she waters things.....rocks, the wall, her shoes, etc.  Very cute!  Sometimes she even holds the hose and helps that way.  She squeals and jumps up and down if she gets sprayed.  I got her an inflatable whale that you hook up to a hose and water sprays out of its blowhole.  So hopefully once it gets warm enough to play in water outside she will enjoy it!

We converted DD's crib into the toddler bed yesterday and she did a pretty good job napping and sleeping in it.  Naptime was a little harder keeping her in bed.  I think because it's still pretty bright in her room during naptime.  It only took a few times of us going in and reminding her it was naptime before she finally fell asleep.  We only had to go in a few times last night and only one time was she actually out of bed.  She had a dirty diaper and I think she was unsure as to whether or not she could come out and tell us about it.  We've been working a little bit on going potty on the potty, but she hasn't had much interest.  Friday night she called out "potty" so I went in and asked her if she went potty or had to go potty and she said she had to go.  So we got her undressed and took off her diaper and she actually went peepee on the potty!  She seemed excited, but I don't expect it to become a regular habit quite yet.  I can't wait until I only have one in diapers though!

[arbybee]

Not sure if anyone else is a Mad Men fan, but I've been thinking of this line a lot lately:

[tarabelle]

LOVE IT!

[flavorfull1]

ok madmen quote pretty hilarious....and sadly, already true for me this morning lol.

re EC- I seriously think that DD would be awesome at this. she hates to have a wet bum at all.  She would not need to get out of bed at all if her diaper wasn't wet over night.  DS never cared but DD would prefer to be dry all of the time.

Erin- big steps for your DD, DS is in a toddler bed but in our room so a little different.  we are waiting on potty learning as he does not seem so interested but it would be nice some time soon.  maybe after moving

afm-  totally bummed and discouraged.  Doctor didn't have any new tips for me and said that normally they wait at least two more weeks before doing any meds in case baby "grows out of it."  She said that DD is probably just in that 10% of high needs baby personalities that is just more intense and went on about all of the ways to sooth her, not overstimulate her, etc.  I am not sure I am completely buying it. I definitely think DD is more sensitive to being over stimulated and she gets really upset when she wants to be sleeping but just isn't there yet.  I am pretty glad that they don't want to do meds but I guess I was hoping they would come up with something that I hadn't tried or thought of.  It just seems like something is not normal when your child has to be upright in the moby all day and is literally screaming for a few hours each day, but, maybe a combination of everything will work.  doctor also not wanting to do anything with meds because dd is gaining weight and went up a percentile since last weigh in.  I get it but I think you can have reflux and gain weight too.  Honestly, I just wish DD would take a pacifier because she gets so worked up when she is nursing over and over and I keep letting down, she just wants to suck for an hour or two to reorganize and my body just keeps responding with milk.  I end up drowning her.  I will keep trying everything, I just feel so discouraged and like I am a wuss of a mom for not being able to handle what is possibly normal for my kid.  I still feel like I am missing something.  Just feels like a mom fail at the moment.

[RosieL]

Nicmom any alethia - what's your EC setup or process? I have learned that Odin loves to poop in the EC hold position, and he almost always pees during a change. (thankfully we have many prefolds with which to catch the pee). But to offer a dipe-free pee or poop over a sink id have to open a self closing gate (keeps dogs out of nursery...more importantly out of the diaper pail). Do you take the dipe off in the bathroom, then offer, then what? I'm worried he will pee a second time in transit!

Also, how do you get the pee into the sink or toilet. Odins goes everywhere.

Nak.

(do we have an EC thread?)

[chiromama01]

flav-- be kind to yourself, youre working so hard, there's no FAIL in the post above, just perserverence.  i'm so sorry youre having such a hard time.  i was just wondering if pumping yourself dry would help, maybe right after she's eaten or directly before her usual fussy time, so maybe then she could nurse and not be drowned in milk...also, (and i say this with great caution) you could try chiropractic care.  i see a lot of babies who fit the same description, and the culprit is sometimes that the baby is genuinely uncomfortable...for whatever reason (poor uterine postion, difficult/long labor, assisted delivery, or some other birth trauma.)  for babies who otherwise check out as healthy, it can be a life saver.  i would advise you to find someone with experience with children, check icpa.org for recommendations, if you decide to give it a try. 

 whatever you do, you have not failed!!

[Thursday Girl]

Flavorful, like Chiro said, there is no fail in that post. love that baby and love yourself.

[lalazap]

Hugs to you flavorful. I hope something shifts for you soon. Have you tried that lactase enzyme - Colief? We don't have it in Canada but I was reading up on it and it seemed worth a try. I don't think you need an Rx.

Thanks to all of you for your wisdom and empathy after my last post. We've had some improvement over here which is a relief. I've been doing 6h blocks like Courtney suggested which feels long but is easier to keep track of than a shorter interval. Really it's probably usually only two or three feeds before switching which is not that different than what I was doing before. We've also been doing the anti-gravity positions which I now realize would have been pretty difficult to execute much earlier in my post-C/S recovery. But yesterday's poops were uneventful for the most part. She had a fussy 1am wake-up that had both me and my SO wrangling her for 2h. Now it's 3 and I'm on the sofa in the spare room and she seems to be out. Just have to transfer her back to bed, fingers crossed she goes quietly.

It was good to hear from you about the getting out of the house thing - especially whoever it was who said she's just a homebody after having babies. I did get out yesterday and had lunch with a friend and she had a good analysis of the communication issues DP and I have been having. I hope we can figure it out - we're both edgy and it makes it so hard not to take everything personally. Ugh. One of my biggest fears about having a baby was that it would break us up, so I worry when we have little blow ups day after day. I think we're doing ok though in the grand scheme of things.

Posting from my phone and it's not easy to reread the thread, sorry for lack of personals.

[RosieL]

Flavorful - hugs! I'm so sorry it's so rough. I'm sure you have, or someone has mentioned, but have you tried the happiest baby on the block? It's the forth trimester swaddle-shush-sidelying-swinging (or jiggling)-sucking combo that he prescribes. I found the video helpful. Iirc he said that some babies will hate the swaddle until it is combined with the side-lying. Or hate the paciuntil combined with the swaddle and shushing. He basically maintains that some babies need all five, but that they always do when done vigorously enough for a few minutes. Ymmv, but I thought I'd mention in case it hasn't been mentioned already

[prettyisa]

Thoma—that’s great about the potty! 3 1/2oz sounds like a ton for just one side—you’re going to have a huge stash in no time! I’ve finally started pumping, too (I also go back at the end of July) and am getting 1 ½-2oz from both sides, though I’m limiting it to 5 minutes a day because I’m afraid of getting too much milk in.

Flavorfull—I’m so sorry they couldn’t help more—it feel so horrible to not be able to soothe them. Hugs to you and hoping that you find something that works for her soon! I kept thinking of a hat, maybe? Like a sunbonnet or something that might shield her from having to take in so much at a time? But maybe that’s silly, I don’t know.

Adore—I’m having the opposite problem—I want to be out all the time. Which means that I’m running myself down, but I just get antsy at home, and a little depressed.

Lala—glad things were better with the block nursing. I worry about the snappiness, too—it’s just so hard with all of the demands from the baby and lack of sleep to be gentle with anyone else, it seems.

Hi to everyone else!

I had a mom fail last night—we tried to give Edie her first real bath, and I got a big gulp of water in her mouth (lungs?) which was traumatizing to her and terrifying for me. Someone gave us one of those washpod bucket tub things and I didn’t realize that there was just a little too much water in there, so when she sat all the way down (instead of propping herself up, which she had been doing) her mouth went below the water line. Poor kid. She was super-fussy all night after that, possibly because she was afraid that we had it in for her. So no more bucket tub for us! We’re going to go buy one of those baby bath sponges and try again in the real tub tonight—we couldn’t figure out how you would be able to hold her and keep her head up and wash her at the same time anyway.

[Thursday Girl]

your relationship sure can be tough after the first baby everything is so different and you're tired and you're doing this new thing that is superhard and you are never sure of yourself. acknowledge those things while dealing with each other, be accepting and forgiving and communicate. you will find a new normal.  After our first i swore i wouldn't have any more kids with hubs but he figured it out, i figured it out and now we have four kids.

lala and flavorful have you tried a swing? my first would scream and cry from 11pm-3am every night. we tried what felt like everything and she still cried, then in desperation one night we tried the swing and she fell peacefully asleep. (i fell asleep and then cried in the morning b/c what type of mom let their kid sleep in a swing?lol). so every night she went in the swing once she was fed and clean, we did that for almost 2  months. of course my next kid hated the swing, they're all different, but it's an idea.

[adoremybabe]

I'm not quite 4 weeks PP. I dread leaving the house. I want to get out and get shopping done etc. but when the day comes I feel like everything is craching down on me and all I want to do is cry. I get sick to my stomach and just want to avoid it.

Is anyone else feeling the same way?

[jess in hawaii]

I want to go out and do things... my energy is better than the whole time I was pg, I am only having a little bleeding and I'm not in any pain; but I don't seem to be able to handle it emotionally yet. So I am getting cabin fever BAD, but every time I go out (other than when we all went snorkeling on Sunday) I end up an emotional train wreck.

flavorful- I've been there... I don't have any better advice than what's been said, and sooner or later she will outgrow it, but I know how desperate you feel now ((((hugs))))

[saudade]

Flavor- Everyone has given you great ideas to try and I thought of another one! Infant Craniosacral Therapy! It's used to treat both colic and reflux in infants. Might be worth a try!

[flavorfull1]

Thank you so much for the support ladies.  Last night was another marathon and it seems to be a combination of a variety of things- she is overtired, overstimulated, reflux/spitting up, gas, drowning in my milk but needing to suck and unable to settle.  I wore her almost all day in the moby and she slept a lot so I was surprised she still needed so much more sleep.  I have tried the swing, just having her away from me, tight swaddling combined with shhing and sucking and rocking, and she has had chiro for two times a week since 3 weeks old.  I haven't tried the lactase enzyme, I will have to look into that for sure.  I think for me the really hard part is that my body just gets so tired and sore with all of the walking but I do realize that my body is still healing. OK I will be back for more personals, dd is awake.

[ReadingRenee]

Flavorfull so sorry you are still going through this with your little one.    I don't have any other ideas than what everyone is suggesting.  Just hugs.

Adoremybabe: I don't LOVE leaving the house but I manage to get the grocery shopping done.  And I love leaving with my dh because he takes care of the other kids and sometimes the baby and its like a little mini vacation for me.

We are just coming out of our 4 week growth spurt.  Yesterday and the night before was nothing but nurse fuss nurse fuss nurse sleep for 15 minutes nurse fuss nurse nurse nurse sleep for 15 minutes.  She did that all day yesterday with no real nap and today she is conked out.  She has been sleeping since 8 am after she woke up briefly at 7 30 and it is glorious!  My breasts hurt though, they are not used to having this long of a break! :)

This link really helped me understand what was going on with the constant fussy nursing my baby will sometimes do at nighttime, especially the nurse pull off cry thing, maybe it will help someone else too.

http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/