Spotlight on Madimamcita « Back to Group Discussions

[5Boysplus]

You're up!!! 

[Carlin]

What's your favourite and least favourite thing about parenthood?

Where do you live? Do you love it? If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

What are you passionate about? Why?

How did you and you DH meet? Tell us your love story!

[mamalovex3]

What's the last book you read?  Was it good?

What's your favourite family tradition?

What do love most and like least about being pregnant?

[wendipauline]

Do you have any recurring dreams?

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

If you won a bajillion dollars, what would you do with it?
 

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by Carlin 

What's your favourite and least favourite thing about parenthood?

I love the relationship I have with my child. I sort of hate always being "on call". My DH is great and really amazing and supportive, but it always seems like I am the primary and he is the secondary. Which I suppose I created, as I have the most opinions on how to do things and am very vocal about those opinions... We have more of a parenting partnership than many of my couple friends have but I still feel like I am the one to make the final call on most issues.

Where do you live? Do you love it? If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

I live in central Oregon. I do really like it. My mom lives just 7 miles away, and we all relocated here together. I am growing a great little community of friends and we are starting to make real roots and connections. If I could take all of my community I would relocate to a tropical beach location. as it is, I wouldn't leave my family and friends for a better climate! it is dry here and not typically rainy, but I'm not a huge winter fan. I grew up in MN so I got my fill of winter as a kid!

What are you passionate about? Why?

I am passionate about keeping kids safe. I work at a child abuse prevention agency and I am a certified child passenger safety tech.
I am also passionate about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, genital integrity, politics, freedom of choice, LGBTQ issues, immigration, and generally taking care of people who can't or won't speak up for themselves.

How did you and you DH meet? Tell us your love story!

I met DH when I was living in Peru working in a non profit early childhood center that I created and ran for 2 years. I had been living there for a year by the time we were introduced by a mutual friend at a party. He unofficially moved into my apartment about 2 weeks after we met and we were engaged within a few months. We got him a fiance visa for him to come back to the states with me and it was approved a little over a year after we met. We moved to Tacoma, WA where my parents were living and lived with them for a year and then we all moved here to OR. DS was born 6ish months after we got to OR. He is still learning English but he has improved so much. He has been working at a nice restaurant here for the last 3 years and is making his way up through the ranks. He is doing really well but what we would really like would be to bring his family here. They all live in Peru and his siblings are younger. I am 28, he is 27 and his siblings are 21, 16, and 14. His mom passed away a few months after DS was born. Having them all here would make this feel a lot more like home to him, and I'd love for my kids to have a close relationship with both sets of grandparents. It is hard when one set is 7 miles away and the other is on another continent.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by mamalovex3 

What's the last book you read?  Was it good?

the very very last book I read was a re-read of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I adore that series.
I got a kindle recently and in exploring the free kindle book section I learned that I like detective mysteries! I never knew that about myself! I have read a couple fun ones.

What's your favourite family tradition?

my family of origin started doing Christmas trips where we travel and (sometimes) join a service project of some type instead of giving gifts. We do small stocking stuffers but nothing elaborate. It has really made the emphasis on family and spending time together rather than on material goods.

What do love most and like least about being pregnant?

I love that I am more accepting of my body when I am pregnant. I feel like I can wear different clothes and not feel self conscious about having a belly. And I totally love full panel maternity pants. Last time I literally wore them to rags postpartum and I felt silly buying more when I wasn't even pregnant anymore, but I find them so comfortable. In fact i just ordered a pair from Motherhood (I really love the secret fit belly with the nylon type tops!) and i got home from work and they had arrived and I promptly put them on!
I don't like that I feel moody and irritable. I don't like being totally exhausted. But in general I love being pregnant and have so far had 2 pretty easy pregnancies. So much so that I have been considering surrogacy in the future (just have to get DH 100% on board. I'd say he's about 75% so far.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by wendipauline 

Do you have any recurring dreams?

I'm not sure that I do! Interesting question!

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

be more organized.

If you won a bajillion dollars, what would you do with it?

 

I have thought about this lots and lots of times- we play the lottery (poor man's stock market, as my mom calls it ) and I am constantly adding things to my lottery wish list!
1) I would pay mortgages and utility bills for a couple of friends for a while, anonymously.
2) I would hire some lawyers and get DHs family here, including getting a bigger house or two houses next to each other to all live in. nothing lavish, just comfortable
3) there is a lake where we like to go camping and there is an old resort (still running, but not what it could be or what I suspect it once was) I would love to buy that and either maintain it as a summer home/guest compound or renovate parts and run as a business
4) there are several local non-profits and schools I would donate heavily to.
5) start some very visible campaigns around breastfeeding
6) my parents would get a heavy repayment of all the support they have offered us over the years- I would probably pay off their mortgage or something like that.
7) vacations- we like to travel and see the world but it is hard on a limited budget! I'm sure we'd take several months to just bum around various places.
that is the short list, there are a couple other things but I really don't feel like I am the type of person who would have their life ruined by a large windfall of money like you always hear about happening. Most of my wish list is fairly altruistic and I'm not really into flashy cars or homes or things like that. I just want to be able to help people and have some fun!

[ilovejeff]

You sound like my kind of lady, we have a lot of the same interests.

Ok, here are my questions:

Do you ever see Matthew Fox running around town? (I'm pretty sure he lives in Bend, right? Lol...I've had a secret crush on him since Party of Five.)

Are your birth plans for this baby similar to or totally different from your DS's birth?

What is your favorite food?

Do you have brothers or sisters? If so, where are you in the birth order?

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by ilovejeff 

You sound like my kind of lady, we have a lot of the same interests.

Ok, here are my questions:

Do you ever see Matthew Fox running around town? (I'm pretty sure he lives in Bend, right? Lol...I've had a secret crush on him since Party of Five.)

Are your birth plans for this baby similar to or totally different from your DS's birth?

What is your favorite food?

Do you have brothers or sisters? If so, where are you in the birth order?

Matthew Fox does live in Bend, in fact he was arrested less than a block from my house for a DUI last weekend. The really scandalous part is that the PD hasn't released his mugshot yet, claiming the "machine was broken" yet they have released mugshots from non-famous people who were arrested before and after.. I guess they have had a secret crush on him since Party of Five as well A friend of mine ran into him getting coffee one morning- she was still in her PJs and and was disappointed to have picked THAT morning to not get properly dressed! I have not run into him, though.

My plans for this birth and what I had planned for DS's birth are the same- home water birth with a midwife. However, DS was induced 3 weeks early. My midwife and I are planning ahead to avoid such a situation from coming to light again.

Favorite food.. that is a tough one. I am going to say pineapple pizza, pan-asian food (Thai, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, and last Chinese) and a good old fashioned bacon cheese burger

I am the oldest. I have a younger brother who is 26 and not even close to "grown up" or "settling down" so my kids are the only grandkids so far.

[judybean]

If you could have whatever you wanted for dinner tonight, what would it be?

What would you say your eating habits in your house are like?  (vegetarian, paleo, whatever the heck you want to eat, etc)

What would be your top three picks if you could pick three places to vacation this summer?

What are you most looking forward to and least looking forward to in parenting two children?

You say you want to be more organized..... but how so? (are you a terrible housekeeper? Do you have too many things? Do you have no sense of decorating? Do you struggle with remembering to pay bills on time? ... being 'organized' means so many different things to different people!  I'd love to know what your take on this is :) )

[anacaro]

What's the most challenging/difficult thing you've had to face?

What do you enjoy most from being a mother?

[crystal_buffaloe]

I was not aware that anyone out there really liked maternity pants! Huh!

Aside: DH and I also have the closest thing to a parenting partnership of any of our friends/family members IRL, but I'm still probably the primary parent, too -- I like how you put it "always on call."

Do you have any pets? Are you a "dog person" or a "cat person"?
Will your DS be at the birth?
Have you gotten to visit your ILs in Peru?

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by judybean 

If you could have whatever you wanted for dinner tonight, what would it be?

we had it last night- charcoal grilled burgers

What would you say your eating habits in your house are like?  (vegetarian, paleo, whatever the heck you want to eat, etc)

eat whatever we want, but try to stay towards whole foods and avoid processing. we don't always succeed but we try to make good choices.

What would be your top three picks if you could pick three places to vacation this summer?

I just want to go somewhere with a pool and air conditioning. It could be the best western for all I care!

What are you most looking forward to and least looking forward to in parenting two children?

Most- I am excited to see the sibling relationship develop. DH has extremely close bonds with his siblings, particularly the next one down from him, and I don't have a very close bond to my brother. I'm hoping my kids will be close and hoping to guide that relationship whatever way I can without trying to force it!

You say you want to be more organized..... but how so? (are you a terrible housekeeper? Do you have too many things? Do you have no sense of decorating? Do you struggle with remembering to pay bills on time? ... being 'organized' means so many different things to different people!  I'd love to know what your take on this is )

yes, yes, yes, and yes. Our house is just messy. My car is messy. My desk at work is messy. I clean it up and it just gets messy again. I would love to blame it on having a small child, but he's not often at my work desk... and this is an issue I have always had. I always had a messy room. We have way too much stuff. When DH and I first moved in together here in the states we had NOTHING. he actually had only 1 small suitcase full of things, which was mostly clothes. We went a little nuts at thrift stores and garage sales. now we just need to get it all out of here! I keep hoping that just having less stuff will make us less messy. I know its going to take more intentionality than that though. it is a big struggle for me. I think I'm just lazy.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by anacaro 

What's the most challenging/difficult thing you've had to face?
What do you enjoy most from being a mother?

I guess as for challenging/difficult- I have twice lived in Spanish Speaking countries where I was the ethnic/racial minority by a wide, wide margin- like 1% or less. The first time I was 14 in Puerto Rico and the only white kid in my entire school. I had racial taunts and slurs and actual rocks thrown at me. I think in that culture th emajority of white people who they are exposed to are "rich" white privileged tourists and there is a sense that the tourists are less... human. like they don't know what it is to struggle and that makes them shallow and somehow less human. It is a different kind of racism, a different way to be marginalized to be sure, but it is still racism and marginalization. It was important to my dad that we kids have this experience to draw from as he himself grew up as a racial minority in Hawaii. DH is quite dark skinned (from Peru) and DS has brown hair and eyes and tan skin and since he was 2.5 has been saying things like "I'm not brown, I'm just white! Brown is ugly!" and that has been heart wrenching for me to hear. I am trying to help him through this all and it is hard because I don't even know where it is coming from!

As for what I enjoy most from being a mother- it is the full feeling I get from DS. I can't even imagine what I did to occupy my days before him. I must have felt empty because my heart feels so full now.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by crystal_buffaloe 

I was not aware that anyone out there really liked maternity pants! Huh!

Aside: DH and I also have the closest thing to a parenting partnership of any of our friends/family members IRL, but I'm still probably the primary parent, too -- I like how you put it "always on call."

Do you have any pets? Are you a "dog person" or a "cat person"?
Will your DS be at the birth?
Have you gotten to visit your ILs in Peru?

Yep, I love my maternity pants!

We have a rabbit right now. I always had a dog growing up but my last dog died quite abruptly (after I hand raised her before her little eyes had even opened yet) nd I haven't felt ready to open that back up yet. I am allergic to cats.

DS will hopefully not be at the birth. I think it is beautiful when siblings can witness each others arrivals, but I don't want to be feeling like I need to be taking care of his needs in a time like labor and birth. Even if someone else is "in charge" of him just having him here will make me feel "on call" and I need to devote all of my intentions to this birth.
I think he has some trauma around his own birth- he was born 3 weeks early via induction when we had planned a home water birth. it wasn't overtly traumatic, no forceps, vaccuum, c-sect, nothing like that but we were watching a tv show with some hospital birth scenes and he got very upset every time they would show those scenes- I eventually had to turn it off and watch it when he wasn't around. So I'm sure witnessing this birth (providing everything goes as planned) could be healing for him, but I'm not confident enough for that yet. Maybe if there is another birth.

I have been back to Peru once since I lived there, when I was pregnant with DS. I'm so glad we went then as that was the last time DH and I both saw his mother. I adored my MIL and we miss her so much. My family and DHs family met two years ago- we all vacationed in Ecuador. It was a really fun trip. DH has been back to visit by himself a few times.

[MadiMamacita]

My week is almost over already! Time is really flying. These babies will be here in no time

[Worldshakerz]

Just caught up on reading your questions/answers ... these spotlight threads are great. I also always had a messy room as a child and still am not what you would call very organized, lol. Now that I am expecting baby #3 I am feeling suddenly motivated to try a little bit harder to improve this about myself! 

What exactly do you do at the child abuse prevention agency? Is that something you've always wanted to do, or did something occur that inspired you in that direction? I think its wonderful that you are passionate about something so important. 

What kind of music do you listen to?

When's the last time you saw a movie in the theater?

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by Worldshakerz 


What exactly do you do at the child abuse prevention agency? Is that something you've always wanted to do, or did something occur that inspired you in that direction? I think its wonderful that you are passionate about something so important. 

We run a therapeutic classroom for at risk young kids- I am an assistant teacher and my class has 18 2-3 year olds. I also have a caseload of families that I home visit weekly. I drive the bus before and after class. We serve around 200 families, but only about 40 of them get weekly classroom services. The others are on a waiting list and have access to emergency crisis counseling, resources like food, clothes and diapers, and an occasional spot in our respite classroom.

I worked for Head Start before this job, and I had my own childcare center in Peru where I worked with many similar issues (poverty, child abuse, nutrition, etc) so I guess it has just sort of been what I have done for a while. I am getting to a point where I prefer working with the parents and families rather than in the classroom though. I am about to transition out of this job sometime this summer and start my own business as a postpartum doula- I am working on a list of services I could offer to families. I need to be free to be home with my family now that it is getting bigger and working 40hrs a week isn't something I can balance with family time.

what kind of music do you listen to?

I listen to a very wide variety of music, but not country.

When's the last time you saw a movie in the theater?

I think the Lorax maybe? that came out a few months ago? or the hunger games? I can't remember which was more recent.

There is a small one room independent theater that just opened up and we had a staff wellness day last week and rented the theater- someone brought the movie Hot Rod (2007) and we watched that so I guess technically that was the last movie I saw in a theater!

[Worldshakerz]

That's awesome - you have done a lot of things to help out children and families. I'm sure will you be a great postpartum doula when you transition to that :) I also listen to pretty much everything but country, lol. Thanks for your answers, its been fun getting to know you :)

[anacaro]

Thank you for sharing.  I just caught up with the posts on this thread.  It's so wonderful that you have been able to help many families.  

By the way, I am from Ecuador (Quito) and glad to hear that you had a nice time when you visited.