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Weekly Chat: May 14 - 20

post #1 of 62
Thread Starter 

How's everyone doing this week?

post #2 of 62

Hi ladies!


I don't always post much here but do read often.  I just hit 22 weeks and am starting to feel huge already.  And HOT!  We had an ultrasound last week and Baby A was transverse way up on top and Baby B was vertex and to the right.  These babies are moving non-stop and changing positions all the time!  Fine by me as long as we get everyone appropriately positioned in time, since no one around here will even go near a vaginal birth is Baby A isn't head down.  My DS and my sister both felt some movement, which was really cool.  DH still hasn't :( 


I received some pretty rude comments (on Mother's Day, no less) about *still* nursing my girls.  Something to the effect of how they are too old for that (they just turned 16 months) and aren't even eating anyway.  And this was from family members!  I can only imagine what they'll say if these two are still nursing when the next set arrive...

post #3 of 62

Wow, mama3, you're getting comments about 16 month olds?!?! That's INSANE. So sorry about the ignorant comment.

Man. My blood just boils hearing things like that. I look forward to the day someone says that to me. I will let it allll out. af.gif


For the past few weeks I've been having trouble getting comfortable to sleep so I bought a Snoogle. O.M.G. Best purchase of my life. Slept like a baby 3 days in a row so far.


I am soooo looking forward to maternity leave. I will have a year off and I'm scheduled to leave 2 weeks before my due date. But today I found out I have an extra week of holidays so I actually get to leave on Aug 3! A whole month off before baby comes! 

post #4 of 62

I know!   I told my DH about it and he was so riled up!  He would have had a few things to say if he had heard their comments.  Which is funny, because when we met, he was very uncomfortable about breastfeeding, then said it would be ok till maybe 6 months, then a year, and now he's a big advocate and tells people our girls are so smart and wonderful because they are breastfed :)  I didn't say much, as I hate being put on the defensive and tbh, I don't care what they think about my parenting decisions! 


I just googled the snoogle (say that 3 times fast!) and it looks neat but man that is one expensive pillow!  Although if you can get comfortable and actually sleep then totally worth it :)


Yay for maternity leave!  Don't you feel lucky to live in Canada?  All my American friends are jealous lol

post #5 of 62
re: breastfeeding: I heard some ignorant comments on the radio this morning reacting (still?!?) to that TIME magazing thing.. comments like "If your kid has a full set of teeth and can chew up an oreo to go with his milk its weird to still be breastfeeding" (and my reaction was- I wouldn't give an oreo to a kid that young!) and "If he is too old to still be on formula then he is too old to breastfeed" I don't get that logic at all.. I nursed my son until a week before his 2nd birthday. I didn't really get any comments that I can remember, but he was mostly night nursing then so not many people saw him nurse! Luckily all my close mama friends believe in EBF- one weened at 3, another is still going at 4, etc. I feel lucky to have found a great community.
post #6 of 62

The comments I got were something similar - nursing has become increasingly uncomfortable for me, being pregnant, and one of my aunts commented along the lines of once they have teeth, they shouldn't be nursing anymore.  And the other aunt seemed bothered by the fact that my daughter was playing with my nose, touching my shirt, etc. as she nursed because that meant she wasn't really *needing* to nurse, she just *wants* to.  I don't get why people are so concerned with meeting only their children's needs and not their wants.  Imagine if we treated other people in our lives this way - "sorry honey, we're not going to have sex cause you just want it, you don't need it!" lol

post #7 of 62
"wants" are emotional needs. if i can meet them i will try!
post #8 of 62
Re: breastfeeding - I try to take the attitude of "the option of the uninformed does not matter to me" (actually, it's my attitude about a lot of things) though I'll always try to explain to these who are open-minded enough to listen. I'm actually struggling with a decision regarding bf right now, though. I bf'd DD until she was 2, and never had a problem doing so in public, though that naturally decreased as she grew from baby to toddler. I also rarely covered up...I was discreet about it and made sure to wear clothes that made it possible to nurse without flashing anyone, but I just nursed when I needed to nurse. I think that's felt safe doing that here because Washington protects breastfeeding as a civil right, so the law was always on my side. My dilemma is this....we will be moving to another state about 3 - 5 months after DS is born. We have no idea where yet, so who knows what the breastfeeding climate will be where we go. I'm wondering if I should get DS used to eating under a cover, or if I should just say the heck with it, since breastfeeding is NORMAL AND NATURAL!!

In other news...it's been super hot here for May (92 today!) and I've been enjoying the sun, though we did have to stay inside for the hot part of the day today. Yesterday I stayed out a bit too long in the heat and was starting to feel faint by the time we came in. I got some of my seedlings transplanted into the garden...I'm so looking forward to going out to pick stuff for dinner. Last year was the first time I've gardened and I'm totally addicted now. I really want to get chickens after we move and get settled down in a new place, too.

baby has been moving a lot, especially first tng in the morning. DH hasn't felt him yet, though I have been feeling him from the outside for a week or so. I'm feeling huge already, but that's just how I get...I have a short torso, so there is no place to go but out.

I'm totally in nesting phase now. My current project is to clear out everything we don't need for a huge yard sale this summer. When we leave here, we will have an SUV and a trailer...and if it doesn't fit, it's not coming with us, so it's major purge time. I need to get as much done as possible now, since I know I won't have the time or energy to do much after babyis born. My yard sale pile is growing!
post #9 of 62

Hi all!


We had our u/s yesterday!!  It was awesome - lasted a while.  Placenta is anterior as suspected, which explains why I'm feeling such less movement.  Baby was moving like CRAZy and I wasn't feeling anything except for 2 times!  But she also said that baby is making very good use of the amniotic fluid - rolling/turning/moving and just not hitting the uterine wall.  


We held strong and didn't find out the gender, even though I was kicking myself afterward.  But, now i'm glad I held out.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for a peek though.  :-)


BFing - my MIL tried that crap on me when DS was 18mos.  I just said - well, it's not your choice so it doesn't really matter what you think.  That's been a recurring theme with us.  I love my MIL, she honestly means well, and loves her grandkids and is amazing with them, but she has no qualms about telling me exactly how she feels about shit, and that pisses me off.  It's exactly why I'm fine with her doing nothing but visiting for the day after babe comes.  The first time, after DS, she came to Phx (we were still living there) for 10 days and I wanted to slit my wrists.  All I wanted to do was snuggle in bed with my baby, and I constantly felt like I had to have a list of shit for her to do.  Oy...we did NOT make that mistake when DD came.  

post #10 of 62

i am so tired. this weekend was rough- all last week was, actually, and i don't feel like i rested at all over the weekend. i had a lot of bh contractions, but for the last 24 hrs or so, my belly has stayed really hard and tight. i called my midwives and am going in this morning to get checked out and make sure everything is ok. ive read that a continuously hard/contracted belly isn't necessarily a bad sign, but i just feel... off. i've been really down the last couple of days and when i woke up this morning my back pain was so severe i just laid in my bed and cried.


i'm just becoming so uncomfortable so quickly that i don't know how i will make it to the end of summer.


i hate to be so negative but oh, i am feeling overwhelmed.

post #11 of 62

Sending you comforting thoughts, Wendipauline! I hope you will feel better- now.


A question for all the people who have been pregnant before- I'm out of bras that fit. I have sports bras that are fine, but I don't have anything left for underneath work shirts, so I am just wearing camisoles now. In your experiences, did your breasts stop getting bigger by now (I am 24 weeks) or should I expect them to continue to grow? I don't want to buy a bra that I'm going to outgrow in a couple weeks, but it's kind of ridiculous not having proper clothing.


I've been physically all over the place the past two weeks- i had a couple days in a row of awful back pain (I finally took an acetaminophen and it broke the pain cycle and no more back pain after that) and apart from that I've been really active and wired and practicing a lot of yoga. The past two days the fetus has really picked up its activity, and i can feel it moving a lot stronger and more intense now, and what is really great is that it isn't hurting me now, so I can actually enjoy it!  I've been feeling the fetus move since 18 weeks, but mostly it was just jabbing me in the bladder causing me pain and uncomfortableness, but now it's higher up and it's movements feel so much better.


I seriously cannot imagine people in my family or my sweetheart's family judging me on stuff like so many people experience. It's awful. I wish all of you to be able to communicate with your families in a way so that they will respect you! I was surprised that at two of my yoga classes last week two different women told me how awesome they think it is that I keep practicing during the pregnancy... I just say I am the same person as I was before getting pregnant, and if I am healthy and physically able to continue practicing I won't give up my practice. I don't think they actually think pregnant women should just stay home. My sweetheart says they probably just want something to say, and it comes out strange.

post #12 of 62

wendipauline--I hope you feel better, soon and everything is ok.


I'm a FTM, so I don't know much about breastfeeding, and I haven't read the articles associated. I read the title of one, something about whether breastfeeding really saves you money. I think this sort of article is very dangerous. It trivializes all the other rewards by making it only about money. YECH. Hopefully mothers can see beyond monetary value and realize how fr**king amazing breastmilk is. My favorite moment, however, was flipping through channels and landed on TMZ or some such nonsense. They were talking about how they can't talk about the cover of TIME because it's too controversial, but then their next segment is "fill in the blank celebrity" tells you her sex secrets. Really? We can't talk about BF but we can go ahead and dish out about sex. Gotta love it.


as for MIL--after all I said last week, I'll keep this short. All would be ok, if she didn't constantly finish my sentences for me. She did that when we took her and nan to dinner for Mom's day. I'll be talking, often to someone else, and she'll come in and finish my sentence while I'm fishing for the right word, and sometimes it isn't what I was going to say. It's so darned annoying! 


AFM: My 22 apt. was supposed to be yesterday but my midwife was with a woman in labor. The odd thing was that when I called today to reschedule, they told me they would tell me when it was rescheduled. Um...I do have a life and other commitments, don't I have some say in this? I guess the receptionist finally realized she could schedule me with the other midwife on a day I could actually come in. eyesroll.gif Other than that, I guess based on my ranting my hormones are making me more annoyed than usual. Baby is moving a lot. Like, wakes me up in the middle of the night! I've also started making a quilt for him and built an IKEA dresser/changing table over the weekend. I was a window-dresser/ display builder for a short time, so I'm used to building stuff, but man, it was a challenge to be bending and stretching and using that power drill again! Anyway, I guess I've ranted enough. So much to be passionate about these days.dizzy.gif

post #13 of 62

@Asher: I agree on the breastfeeding. I'm working on baby #3 and both my kids so far haven't gotten any formula...well...not quite. DD did get a bottle from my mom once while I was visiting my parents in Germany and DD was screaming. Rather than calling me, my parents decided to give her a bottle (I didn't have a pump with me or anything since my kids never took a bottle from me anyway). Still, I'm pretty sure we saved money on not spending anything on formula, I never had an expensive pump (got a medela harmony for 30 bucks at Target), never really used the pads etc. None of that. The only thing that I did buy was nursing bras but no matter if nursing bra or not, these girls need some support LOL. Even though I did get a lot of plugged ducts I was lucky enough to not have to hassle with mastitis and never needed meds or anything in the 33 months that I did breastfeed.


Honestly, breastfeeding is one of the things that I'm looking forward to. Aahh, I can't wait for the "suck, suck, swallow, sigh, suck, suck, swallow, sigh", so sweet. :).


I saw a documentation on cloth diapering the other day on youtube and they  made it all abuot the environment. A 'study' found that clothies are not better environmentally than sposies...umm...i don't think so. I'm sorry but it doesn't matter if my poop goes down the drain or my kids' poop and I still have to do laundry anyway. In the end, my cloth diapers are most likely not laying in some landfill 40yards below other crap, slowly leaking of whatever chemical is in there...doing so for the next 300 years. No way Jose. Yes, even clothies have plastic but chances are, they are going to be reused by someone else and the cycle of throwing away and not degrading slows down quite a bit.


Anywho...all is fine here. Baby is on a mission to tear me apart. I love that she's so active and I can definitely already see some kind of a sleep cycle, meaning, she wakes up whenever I sit or lay down LOL.


I quit my Zumba job yesterday. Boo...makes me sad but my braxton hicks won't let me do it anymore. Also, I'm kinda burned out on it, even though I really enjoy doing it once I start. It's not as much fun as it is unpregnant though and the constant pressure of learning new routines is kinda catching up on me. I've been teaching for almost a year now, I will get back to it after baby (maybe in January or so, next year) and enjoy the time off so far. I have plenty of opportunity to just be a Zumba student, which is more fun anyway ha...cause you can just go grab some water or halfa$$ some moves if you don't feel like it. I had another girl do one of my routines yesterday. It has a lot of 'krumping" (white girl here, I don't know if that is spelled right) in it and I can't move my hips that fast since my abs have already gapped quite a bit, so I asked her if she wanted to lead. She did it...and I envy her for her moves LOL.

post #14 of 62

Mole - Everyone is probably different but my breasts continue to grow through pregnancy and after my milk comes in. I'm not sure if it will be different this time since I'm still nursing but I'm holding off buying any new nursing bras until closer to the due date. If you get bras that end up being too small they may come in handy after a few months. My boobs shrunk a lot like 9 months into breastfeeding. 


Regarding breastfeeding comments - In the first trimester one of my friends said, "Why don't you just wean her already?" I don't think she was trying to be rude I think she just honestly didn't understand. I wasn't taking anything for morning sickness because of breastfeeding and also just because I don't like taking any medication during pregnancy and she was just totally confused why I'd put myself through that. The last thing I wanted to deal with at that point was a miserable weaning toddler. She's only 20 months. I've also had comments about DD having "a lot of teeth". So annoying. I used to be really critical of breastfeeding in public and breastfeeding toddlers but I've learned a lot since then so I try to keep in mind that they just don't understand. Really, people need to learn that you don't ever tell a woman when to wean her child. 

post #15 of 62

Thanks Lazurite for sharing your experience! I just went out and bought two bras. I am being silly. I can afford to have clothes that fit and while I don't want to buy things that have a short life cycle... It's still ridiculous. My breasts are HUGE compared to normal (when they are already quite big) and they need support. I'm uncomfortable enough without contributing to it through stubbornness. And like you said, maybe they will come in handy again on the down-slope :).

post #16 of 62

Mole--I got nursing bras in my current size. I got two from Zulilly when they were having a "hot milk" auction. But they took forever to get here, so wouldn't try that again. They work great just as regular bras, but they also come with like 6 other hook sets in the back so that I can make them wider and wider as I get bigger or smaller. I think I read that as you breast feed you will grow and shrink according to what your child needs, so the extra hooks make it easier.

post #17 of 62

My breasts haven't grown at all! I don't mind at all (also skipped out on the soreness symptom), but it was surprising, because I've occasionally had them swell up much larger prior to/during periods in the past. It looks like in my case it's either gonna be third trimester or I'll be one of those who just balloon up after the birth. I've been peeking at Bravado nursing tanks but wouldn't have a clue as to what to buy, so will have to hold off there. But yeah, like Evi said- reeeally looking forward to/hopeful about the breastfeeding part. :) 

post #18 of 62

Mole, I agree with Lazurite--sometimes more than one size is helpful :-) Most nursing bra stores recommend buying them at 8 months pregnant or so.  In the first few weeks of nursing, engorgement is pretty common, so they get even bigger.  My favorite bra for those early weeks is a sleep bra (supportive, but not too constricting, and I DO wear it at night as well).  My favorite one is this one from Motherwear http://www.motherwear.com/prod.cfm/cid/53/sid/6141 but I'm sure there are other great ones.  


And Hyde, it seems a bit odd that your breasts haven't grown at all.  Sometimes this happens with mothers who had a hard time getting pregnant--needed fertility medication etc, or moms with breast reconstruction surgery.  I don't want to alarm you at all, but if there is a complete lack of breast changes during pregnancy (no color changes, or size changes), sometimes it can indicate a problem with milk production.  My friend with no breast changes had to take some herbal supplements to get where she needed to be for supply.  I'm TOTALLY not trying to make you nervous! The first few weeks are when milk supply is established, so if you're nursing early and often, and baby is doing a good job of emptying and getting milk, you're usually set.  But I just wanted you to be aware.  

post #19 of 62

My boobs didn't change at all during my first and second pregnancy and I honestly believe that part of that weight gain I had now is my breasts cause they got BIG. Not BIG as in humongous but big as in fuller. I wanna take a picture, then take it to a surgeon once I weaned off #3 and tell him that that is exactly how I want my breasts LOL (minus the huge areolas, thank you..TMI I know). My husband gets all wide eyed when he sees me topless and even my mom friends have commented on me having issues of keeping them girls in a shirt LOL. I'm still wearing the same bra size but I need a full coverage bra. I got four padded nursing bras (with underwire) at Motherhood a couple of weeks ago and those are so comfy.

post #20 of 62
Originally Posted by 5Boysplus View Post

And Hyde, it seems a bit odd that your breasts haven't grown at all.  Sometimes this happens with mothers who had a hard time getting pregnant--needed fertility medication etc, or moms with breast reconstruction surgery.  I don't want to alarm you at all, but if there is a complete lack of breast changes during pregnancy (no color changes, or size changes), sometimes it can indicate a problem with milk production.  My friend with no breast changes had to take some herbal supplements to get where she needed to be for supply.  I'm TOTALLY not trying to make you nervous! The first few weeks are when milk supply is established, so if you're nursing early and often, and baby is doing a good job of emptying and getting milk, you're usually set.  But I just wanted you to be aware.  


Nah, no breast reconstruction, no fertility problems, and not having grown is different from not having observed any changes at all. I gotta say, although you're clear that your intentions are good and I hear that, that comment did come off as a bit alarmist. I'm really not worried about it at this point- having read some things and visited a few different forums earlier on, it's clear to me that this is, in most cases, a variation of normal. I realize that if your breasts do typically grow during pregnancy you may not have had cause to look into this beyond your friend's experience, but it turns out that quite a few women who go on to have no supply issues whatsoever experience breast growth after the birth rather than before.

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