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Post-Partum Recovery Discussion - Page 4

post #61 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by KM84 View Post

The lactation consultant I was working with said to wait two weeks before pumping, and 3-4 weeks to introduce her to the bottle. We just ordered an electric pump, and I'm trying to find some good resources on when / how much to pump.  I'm still a little confused as to how this works. Right now, DD will empty one breast and take a little bit of the next, so I'm thinking I can finish the 2nd with the pump.

 

The postpartum hormones are hitting me hard. I've been having nightmares about people trying to hurt my husband / daughter, and I started feeling REALLY anxious about something happening to her. I've gotten all helicopter-parent, and it's driving my husband nuts, and frankly it's driving me nuts too. He's a great dad and very responsible, she's probably in better hands with him than me, but I can't help fussing over every little thing when he has her.

For those of you on your 2nd (or more!) kid, did you go through that? Does it pass?


I am guilty of this. hide.gif Or not guilty, because it isn't really a moral thing, but I've experienced this.  And it is a really good way to get burnt out!  So what I do now if force myself to take a walk around the block, take a shower, read a few pages of a book... do something that isn't baby focused, baby related and let DH parent/care for baby.  DH is a totally awesome parent, and totally capable, and deserves to bond with the little guy as much as me.  I saw that over and over. If he is fussy I have to leave because it makes me anxious to listen to him fuss, unless I am holding him and he fusses, that is okay. 

 

So I will go outside, fold laundry, spend time with my other kids, etc.  Do anything else... and let DH care for baby until DH suggests he needs to nurse, etc.

 

I think talking to an OB is a good idea for PPD, PP anxiety... but I was totally disappointed with the way it is treated. Instead of recognizing it as a normal part of shifting hormones, and lack of sleep-- and advising me to eat, exercise and SLEEP, they gave me an SSRI . I had a horrible reaction to this mind altering drug... I think it was total overkill to essentially being out of balance for a perfectly good reason... But everyone is different, and SSRIs do help a lot of people. But I didn't need to be more altered, and then have more Drs. appointments (which are exhausting!)... I just needed sleep, and to understand that this too shall pass. 

post #62 of 284

I find myself waking up panicky feeling sometimes, and feeling like something awful is about to happen.  I think I've mentioned this before, but, for me, eating something makes me feel SO much better.  With a newborn keeping me up a lot, and my hands full, I find that I don't eat as much/as frequently as I should.  Especially in the middle of the night.  I'll wake up just full of doom and gloom, but as soon as I grab something to eat, I can't even remember what I was so worried about. 

 

Sorta like FM said...eat, sleep, and breathe, and you might find you feel remarkably better.  Taking care of everyone, even just mentally, is exhausting.  You have to remember to really take care of you, too.

post #63 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by alittlesandy View Post

Since I'm the breadwinner of the family, I had no choice, it was either pump or give formula, so thank god I was able to pump. For me, it has never been about convenience, wanting to "get away," or having a career. It's about survival. I think if breastfeeding rates are going to improve in this country, we need to provide more support for working women (learning how to pump, etc.) rather than assuming that working is a choice.


I didn't mean anything like that by my comment! blowkiss.gif

post #64 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by cristeen View Post
So this is what my IBCLC had me do... Commit to 3 days of doing nothing but baby duty.  Line up other people (DH, family, friends, whoever) to take care of everything else.  Spend the time topless and skin-to-skin with baby.  Put the bottles away.  Offer him the breast and nothing but the breast.  You have to be strong during this time, because he will resist.  Never force him on to the breast, but do offer it to him, repeatedly.  He will resist at first, but with persistence he will get less and less resistant to the breast.  For us, by the end of 2ish days he was back on, but not thrilled about it.  By the end of the 3rd day it was a done deal. 

 

Basically don't feed him unless he's on the breast? Right now, that would land us back in hospital... He only got to come home because of the pumping and formula feeds. I really want him to be ebf, but I also don't want him to starve in the mean time. 3 days seems an awfully long time to not eat.

 

I'm not sure I'm understanding the advice here, but if it's to not feed him anything 3 days but breastmilk from the breast, I don't think that will work...

post #65 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post

Basically don't feed him unless he's on the breast? Right now, that would land us back in hospital... He only got to come home because of the pumping and formula feeds. I really want him to be ebf, but I also don't want him to starve in the mean time. 3 days seems an awfully long time to not eat.

 

I'm not sure I'm understanding the advice here, but if it's to not feed him anything 3 days but breastmilk from the breast, I don't think that will work...

 

No, he won't go 3 days without eating.  He might go a couple hours.  And then he'll realize that a bottle isn't forthcoming and latch.  Right now he's refusing the breast because he knows that by doing so he gets the easy solution - the bottle, which doesn't require nearly as much work (for him).  Remove that "reward", and over time the behavior will stop.  The first few days he's gonna scream and cry about it, but hunger will lead him to the breast after he gets sick of complaining.  This is why it's tough though, because he WILL complain.  And that's why the bottles have to be removed completely from the equation.  Make them no longer an option.  There's going to be a lot of crying involved in this method, both from him and probably from you too.  But if you can commit to doing it for 3 days, I've not heard of any babies it didn't work on in that time (that were still refusing to latch - their memories just aren't that long at that age).  But this is why you're skin-to-skin and topless with him, so that he has access to your breasts and is smelling your milk constantly.  Put him in a carrier/Moby/RS against your naked chest so you can read a book or surf the web or whatever keeps you occupied.  Once he figures out that milk really is easy to get AND it's right there, AND he can have as much as he wants, he'll latch. 

 

If you're looking at a serious aversion, where even after several hours (of being hungry) he's still refusing to latch/nurse, then I'd be giving him a bottle and calling an LC for help, that's different from "nipple confusion", which is what it sounds like you're dealing with.  I'm definitely not suggesting you starve him.  Sorry I didn't make that clearer.  hug2.gif

post #66 of 284

Cristeen, I have so much respect for you and your advice that I was literally crying when I first read it because I thought you'd gone off your nut... :P

I have a really hard time listening to Patrick cry, because he goes from being fussy to hysterical in a matter of seconds. We have a consultation with a IBCLC in the next few days (just waiting on an appointment time) and I will definitely ask them for help.

I've been trying and trying and trying to latch him while DH has been home. He goes back to work tomorrow. Right now, we have enough breast milk stored up in the fridge that I should finally be able to cut the formula out entirely, which will make me feel a million times better.

The biggest challenge is going to be finding the help to get him back on the breast. So far, we've had very little help from family or friends (save my dad who lives a province away who keeps sending us money... and my friend and birth photographer who has been amazing.) and we've soloed this entire nightmare. I do have a doula with two post partum sessions lined up, and I am probably going to use them very soon to help get my house straightened back out. 5 days in the hospital left sheer chaos when I got back. I love my husband, but piling laundry in front of the downstairs bathroom/laundry room is NOT tidying up!!! lol

 

Sorry, got off on a tangent.

 

Basically, we know getting him back to the breast is going to be really hard. I just hope it doesn't break us.

post #67 of 284
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post

Cristeen, I have so much respect for you and your advice that I was literally crying when I first read it because I thought you'd gone off your nut... :P

I have a really hard time listening to Patrick cry, because he goes from being fussy to hysterical in a matter of seconds. We have a consultation with a IBCLC in the next few days (just waiting on an appointment time) and I will definitely ask them for help.

I've been trying and trying and trying to latch him while DH has been home. He goes back to work tomorrow. Right now, we have enough breast milk stored up in the fridge that I should finally be able to cut the formula out entirely, which will make me feel a million times better.

The biggest challenge is going to be finding the help to get him back on the breast. So far, we've had very little help from family or friends (save my dad who lives a province away who keeps sending us money... and my friend and birth photographer who has been amazing.) and we've soloed this entire nightmare. I do have a doula with two post partum sessions lined up, and I am probably going to use them very soon to help get my house straightened back out. 5 days in the hospital left sheer chaos when I got back. I love my husband, but piling laundry in front of the downstairs bathroom/laundry room is NOT tidying up!!! lol

 

Sorry, got off on a tangent.

 

Basically, we know getting him back to the breast is going to be really hard. I just hope it doesn't break us.


Please be gentle with yourself, and do whatever works for you as a family. hug.gif

post #68 of 284
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by alittlesandy View Post

Since I'm the breadwinner of the family, I had no choice, it was either pump or give formula, so thank god I was able to pump. For me, it has never been about convenience, wanting to "get away," or having a career. It's about survival. I think if breastfeeding rates are going to improve in this country, we need to provide more support for working women (learning how to pump, etc.) rather than assuming that working is a choice.


I didn't mean anything like that by my comment! blowkiss.gif


blowkiss.gif

 

Sosu, I did not take your comment that way at all. My vent was based more on some other threads I was reading about low breastfeeding rates, working women, etc.

post #69 of 284

I do great pumping..so odd how even with bf'ing we are all so different..

 

just!- what kind of tea for hormone balancing?

post #70 of 284

My son was born one week ago today and I'm really struggling with the baby blues. I had one day where I just cried all day. It's gotten better, but I'm still super-anxious and stressed about how to cope with a newborn and my 2.5 year old when dh goes back to work tomorrow. :-( I tore very badly and still have some swelling so I can't be on my feet for long, can't sit straight up, and can't pick up my toddler. I am completely freaked out. We did a trial run of nap time today and I was actually able to do it by myself, but it was NOT easy! I laid all 3 of us in my bed and nursed ds on one side while reading to dd on the other...what a sight! Dd would only fall asleep with her head on me, so it was pretty funny. I finally escaped with ds after about 45 minutes. It felt good to know that I can do nap time by myself.

 

On a side note, ds has barely opened his eyes all day. He just sleeps and nurses. He screams while he gets his diaper changed and sometimes opens his eyes for a while while he's nursing, but it's a little scary that he's so much less alert today. Is it normal for babies to go through days like this? At the ped. appt yesterday everything looked great (back up to his birth weight already - super-nurser!!!).
 

post #71 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post

I do great pumping..so odd how even with bf'ing we are all so different..

 

just!- what kind of tea for hormone balancing?

I can't remember the exact name.  Sorry.  I saw it at the health food store...

 

But, I do know that EPO capsules, and RRL tea are both supposed to help. 

post #72 of 284

thanks Just1..maybe that is the prob. I was taking 2-3 epo pills every day the last trimester and ran out 3 days before delivery.

 

As for panic and worry...I find myself to the point of tears thinking of something happening to my husband. It is so odd that it isn't focused on one of the children, but on my husband. Like I feel that if something happened to him I just couldn't go on. I definitely feel a vulnerability that I have never felt before. And now the morbid thoughts are focused on him - like today I had tears welling up watching  him getting dressed and ready for work. I was thinking how if something ever happened to him how I would miss witnessing these small rituals I've watched for more than a decade. His hair and how it always needs cut and I am forever nagging him.

Ok..tears again. LOL

 

 

Seriously, I would probably take this hormonal manifestation over some of the others I've had post partum (depression etc) but this sheer...vulnerability feeling really is uncomfortable for me.

 

 

I am so happy that my DO NOT DISTURB sign and phone off the hook has kept people away...How is every one else doing on the visitors front?

post #73 of 284
Thread Starter 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post
 

today I had tears welling up watching  him getting dressed and ready for work. I was thinking how if something ever happened to him how I would miss witnessing these small rituals I've watched for more than a decade. His hair and how it always needs cut and I am forever nagging him.

Ok..tears again. LOL

 

OMG, I thought I was the only one who did this! DH always teases me that when I kiss him goodbye it's like I'm sending him off to war, lol.

post #74 of 284

lmao Sandy - dh actually said just that to me the night before he went back to work...i was crying & he sweetly said "honey its not like i am getting shipped off to war"

 

cant imagine what those poor military wives past & present went thru pp.

post #75 of 284

my husband dropped my mom off at the airport today and I spent the entire time he was away worried that he'd get into an accident. he's also pretty sleep-deprived, so I guess it makes sense, but I'm definitely more protective of him than usual. of course when he got back, he had to tell me that his uncle got into a multi-car wreck today and that his car flipped over (thankfully he's ok!) this did not make me feel very good about letting my husband out of the house.

 

oh yeah, the day after our son was born, he fell asleep on the cot at the hospital for what was supposed to be a short nap. my husband has a sleep disorder and usually can't sleep very deeply. he slept like he was in a coma for hours, to the point where I actually thought there might be something wrong. the kid was wailing, I was yelling out his name, and because of my IVs and catheter I couldn't really go and shake him, so I threw silverware at him until he woke up. but yeah, I swear I started planning out how I was going to be a single mom and how we'd lose the house and I'd have to move back in with my parents etc. these hormones are crazy.

post #76 of 284
Jynx cristeen has great advice about getting him back on the breast. I went through this with Sång. It was so hard! I would first offer her the breast then bottle then pump it was tiring to say the least. She would Try to latch suck pull off and cry when the milk did not come quick enough. Really I was so upset about this. I would. Try bfing her for about 30 minrocking her soothing her and dropping drops of bm on her lips the moffering the breast. So 30 min is what the neonatologist said to try. For the first 15in or so only offer breast then the bottle BUT... Let him take about 5 ml or so from the bottle then offer back the breast to him and repeat for about 30 min. I'm on my phone so hard to read the thread totally. You are pumping ? Keep pumping I would say it took about a week for Sång to totally be on the breast. He will most likely cry, at first at the breast. My LC also said to try and pump before offering the breast to start let
Down then offer to him the breast so he is getting the milk faster. Offer him the breast when he is a bit sleepy. Also do you have nipples from the hospital they have me Medala slow flow nipple Amd you turn the top part of the bottle with the nipple on it tight
And the flow is much slower. Make sure you have slow flow nipples.

Finally don't beat yourself up over this.
Hugs
post #77 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby2 View Post

My son was born one week ago today and I'm really struggling with the baby blues. I had one day where I just cried all day. It's gotten better, but I'm still super-anxious and stressed about how to cope with a newborn and my 2.5 year old when dh goes back to work tomorrow. :-( I tore very badly and still have some swelling so I can't be on my feet for long, can't sit straight up, and can't pick up my toddler. I am completely freaked out. We did a trial run of nap time today and I was actually able to do it by myself, but it was NOT easy! I laid all 3 of us in my bed and nursed ds on one side while reading to dd on the other...what a sight! Dd would only fall asleep with her head on me, so it was pretty funny. I finally escaped with ds after about 45 minutes. It felt good to know that I can do nap time by myself.

 

On a side note, ds has barely opened his eyes all day. He just sleeps and nurses. He screams while he gets his diaper changed and sometimes opens his eyes for a while while he's nursing, but it's a little scary that he's so much less alert today. Is it normal for babies to go through days like this? At the ped. appt yesterday everything looked great (back up to his birth weight already - super-nurser!!!).
 


Oh Ruby, hang in there! Little Oscar was like that for the first couple of weeks also. Barely opened his eyes. He's in week three now and having more extended periods of alert time. It's fun to see his eyes!

 

Good luck today, take everything slow and just do your best! It will all be ok!

post #78 of 284

 Oh Cristeen! I totally stand them on end and freeze them! I have NEVER thought about laying them flat- that's genius! I have the lansinoh bags and yes, they are great. Thank you for this piece of advice :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by cristeen View Post

And just a tip for those mamas who have never pumped/stored milk before.  Shop around for the Lansinoh bags, they hold more than the Medela bags, and they're made of a softer (more resilient) plastic.  The Medela ones are so prone to springing holes.  And then once you close them, lay them flat in your freezer.  I couldn't tell you how many mamas stand them on end to freeze and then realize they're really difficult to store that way.  Around here I think Target has the best price on the big pack of bags, but I can sometimes find them at CVS, too. 

 

 OMGOMGOMGOMG- I heard the "words" when pumping in the hospital! I told my husband and he looked at me like I was NUTS! The woosh of the motor definitely sounds like words- you are not crazy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Masel View Post

I think what bugs me so much is the sound of the pump. Late at night I'll hear each pump sound like a word. Sometimes it's a good word and sometimes it's not. LOL I must sound crazy. 

 

 YAY! Onemore, you should feel very proud of yourself!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post

made it 10 days ebf though!!

this is all new to me, and I am just thankful I have not had the skin crawley feeling I've had with the other three.

oh, question!


 

 Ok Meredith, I have had the exact same problem with my first two babies and I have managed to correct it at the very beginning this time. I am going to message you on fbook this afternoon as I don't have the time to type out my suggestions now. I was scared that you were going to end up with mastitis (like I have several times) and reading your post further down, it sounds like you have. I really want to help you out so I will write later.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeredithA View Post

Sosu, what does pumping do to mess up supply? I have a forceful let down & Deacon sometimes starts choking/coughing when he starts nursing & I thought it might contribute to his gassiness. So, I've started block nursing (nursing on one side for a few feedings and then switching to the other side for a few feedings) & I'll pump the other side & freeze the milk in case we ever need it. I've been doing this for a couple days w/ no problems but now I'm curious ~ should I not be doing this?

 My baby also had low blood sugar (which is odd because he was my smallest baby by far and even my 11 pounder could regulate her blood sugar) and it came down to the last straw and he had to have formula supplementation in the hospital for two days- only 5 ml through a tube attached to my nipple at each feeding for 48 hours but I felt so guilty too as my older two have never even tasted formula. This also lead to jaundice with the baby and it was high but we avoided the bili lights but we had to get his blood drawn about 8 times with repeated trips back to the hospital. He is now nursing exclusively and I am thankful for that and I wish you luck in getting Patrick back on the breast but like Sandy said "be gentle with yourself". HUGS!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post

My physical recovery has been awesome this time around.

It's my mental recovery I'm worried about. :(
Patrick had to be taken to the NICU right away after birth because of low blood sugar. (1.6mmol/L.. really really low). Then he wouldn't nurse effectively and developed jaundice. Between the bili lights and the nurses pushing me to give him formula, we ended up having to use bottles and formula to get him healthy enough to come home.

Only, now he won't nurse at all and just screams at the breast, I'm pumping, but not enough to keep him satiated, and having to use formula is making me feel so guilty and horrible because he just sucks it back with such gusto.

We've rented a hospital grade pump, and I'm pumping roughly every two hours. I'm just getting really exhausted physically and mentally. Right now the routine is feed the baby, pump, clean the bottles and the pump, sleep for about an hour, and start again.

 

Someone needs to tell me this will get better and mean it. Because I need to know that this is doable long term if that's what it takes. :(
 

 See what I wrote above- I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have been there and it's awful!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeredithA View Post

AFM, I woke with a 102.2 fever, shaking, and red streaks on my right breast. Cabbage, garlic, and compresses didn't seem to help so I just called the midwife and am getting a prescription for an antibiotic. I really didn't want to take medicine (I haven't had so much as a Tylenol the entire pregnancy!) but it seems necessary at this point. I guess block nursing & pumping was a bad idea after all. I sent DH for probiotics ad yogurt as well ~ I'm worried about baby getting thrush. My sister had the same thing happen and her baby got the worst case of thrush :-( plus I have been trying to cut out dairy because baby Deacon is so gassy, but I have always eaten yogurt daily while on antibiotics so ... I don't know... Maybe I'll just stick w the probiotic capsules.

 Yup- I am there with you thinking that DH will die. I am also thinking that the older two kids will die but I'm not worried about the baby dieing this time around. I also think about all the little tings too and it makes me sob!

Maryamrose- I am terrified of DH getting in a car accident. I won't let him take the older two kids anywhere without the baby and I right now. Its INSANE but I keep thinking that I would rather have us all get in the car accident together rather then get the call about him and the older kids. This always happens to me right at the end of a pregnancy and into the early PP days. It will get better :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post

As for panic and worry...I find myself to the point of tears thinking of something happening to my husband. It is so odd that it isn't focused on one of the children, but on my husband. Like I feel that if something happened to him I just couldn't go on. I definitely feel a vulnerability that I have never felt before. And now the morbid thoughts are focused on him - like today I had tears welling up watching  him getting dressed and ready for work. I was thinking how if something ever happened to him how I would miss witnessing these small rituals I've watched for more than a decade. His hair and how it always needs cut and I am forever nagging him.

Ok..tears again. LOL

 

 

Originally Posted by maryamrose View Post

 

my husband dropped my mom off at the airport today and I spent the entire time he was away worried that he'd get into an accident. he's also pretty sleep-deprived, so I guess it makes sense, but I'm definitely more protective of him than usual. of course when he got back, he had to tell me that his uncle got into a multi-car wreck today and that his car flipped over (thankfully he's ok!) this did not make me feel very good about letting my husband out of the house.

 

post #79 of 284
I am the same way about my husband! But it isn't just a postpartum thing - he is a police officer so I'm always worried he is going to get shot or die in a high speed chase or something! It might be worse pp, but I always have that anxiety.

Re: visitors !!! We have a very clear sign on the door that reads "Mommy & Baby are resting. No visitors please" -- pretty straight forward right? Well apparently everyone thinks they are the exception & that I actually want them to visit. For example, when we came home from the hospital, my mother in law was waiting in the driveway!!! (I burst into tears). Then for the 1st week there were lots of knocks on the door despite the sign but we've just been ignoring them. I finally brought baby to the neighborhood pool in a moby & everyone got to peek at him (outdoors, from a distance, no touching please) & there have been fewer knocks on the door this week. I still have to practically beg my MIL daily *not* to come over & "help". Lots of coworkers & friends have offered to bring dinners but I would often rather cook dinner myself and not have to entertain guests and show off the baby (& let them hold the baby) ... But I know they are trying to be helpful... Ah I just wish the sign worked better and I didn't get texts like "I know your sign says no visitors but I wanted to come by this evening to see Deacon and I made you dinner. Can I stop by at 6?"
post #80 of 284

Meredith - put an ice chest on the porch and tell people that if they'd like, you'd love for them to drop off the meal - they can just leave it in the ice chest.  Be very specific about that point, and keep your sign up. 

 

Don't turn down someone else cooking when there's an easy way around it.  ;)

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