So...sex.... « Back to Group Discussions

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I figured we might want a sex thread. I know I do :)

DH and I attempted boinkage tonight and it went surprisingly well. I had no pain at all! I've been really freaked out about having an unstitched second degree (if you squint) tear, and no pain! I couldn't handle sex until DD, born by c-section, was 6 months old, and here 6 weeks out without a damaged but healed perineum and it was totally fine.

That sounds so lukewarm, but man I'm thrilled right now. ::happy dancing yay::

[Nazsmum]

 for you.

[prettyisa]

i was wondering when everyone would get back to it--I haven't had much desire yet, but I did have a sexy dream last night, so maybe things are headed that way again. of course I'm 4 weeks out today and only got up the courage to really look at my 2nd degree tear (healing nicely, might I add!) two days ago...

[flavorfull1]

haven't tried yet to fully go all the way but I am really wanting to. Haven't fully stopped bleeding so I figured we would wait until I have stopped bleeding for a bit.  Yay for you ashley!  I honestly felt like my 2nd degree tear I had with no stitching with DS healed better than the tear that I did have stitched, I wondered about it but had no pain with that tear.  With DS I waited four months before I was psychologicall/emotionally ready and physically ready so wanting to now before six weeks is different. I think it was the perfect timing last time and am pleasantly surprised to want to earlier this time.  We will see when it actually happens lol

[Thursday Girl]

I haven't done it yet this time, was sort of wanting to yesterday but then I thought, man what if I want to b/c I'm ovulating (I tend to demand sex while ovulating) b/c some women ovulate once a bit after baby and then stop again b/c of breastfeeding. so my desire to not have another baby in 9 months won out.  I am just over 7 w pp.

With my first I was 8 weeks and thinks were a bit scary, tight and sort of like the first time ever. 2nd it was 6 weeks pp and we took it slow but it was all good. the third (and the only time I had an actual tear, a very small one that would have needed only 1 stitch that I declined) we dtd 4 w pp and it was all good and really nice. 

yay for boinking, though I'll stay out of it until we come to some sort of compromise on birth control.

[CarlyVHT]

We did it last night for the first time at 4w pp. I told DH we could go for it but we HAD to use a condom. He was manically searching the house for one after that. I'm sure the one we found had to have been expired! Ha, oh well. I was ready emotionally - but maybe not so much physically. I felt all healed up, but once we started I just wasn't into it and things did feel a bit sore & tight, though not too bad. DH barely wanted to touch me the entire pregnancy so I was suprised he was so eager suddenly yesterday!

[Laura87]

 i am looking forward to it but am only 2 weeks pp. this time my whole vaginal area is so much happier, last time no tears but so much pressure/pain/hemorrhoids/extreme exhaustion took me 3 months to not be in terrible pain.

 i know i am done with having kiddos. they are amazing but i am emotionally and physically at my limit. i am looking into essure. has anyone tried it? also think hubby will have a V in july so we are really secure. cant take another surprise and we have bad luck with many kinds of bc.

[piratemere]

"Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me..." (Does the fact that Salt-N-Pepa came to my head when I read this thread say anything about me? I hope not!)

The last two times I had no desire - an aversion really - for months and months.  It took getting my period back and wanting to get pregnant again to make me do it.  I did find though, once I got back into it I actually enjoyed it, but I did not want anything to do with sex for such a long time.

This time around, I'm not sure if it's because my birth was so wonderful or what, I have been thinking about it since day one!  Last night we were moving in that direction, and then one of my big boys started crying, so Jared went to lay with them and never came back.  Oh well.  I've stopped bleeding completely, and so I'm totally ready. It's such a strange difference from last time. I like it though, and I'm sure DH will too!

[RosieL]

I was wondering when this thread would pop up!

Have wanted DH since 2 weeks PP, but haven't found the confidence and wasn't sure of it physically. Odin gave us a break (slept in bassinet!) a couple mornings ago. It hurt! Eventually felt great after easing into it, but I was kind of shocked it would hurt since I had a CS.

[tarabelle]

I'm only two and a half weeks out and I want to do it but my body is not ready yet! Also, I'm a bit shy about my new vagina... I had a 2nd degree tear and I'm just a little self conscious about my DH seeing it now that it has sort of changed, you know what I mean?  I don't think I'll be ready for at least another two weeks but I'm already thinking about it.

[lalazap]

I'm starting to feel ready, maybe after my mom leaves tomorrow? DP is home for another week so that might help with taking advantage of a daytime window.

Ladies, don't forget lube! BFing hormones decrease vaginal lubrication so a little extra will help smooth things out, so to speak!!

[dealic]

I am definitely ready. I just haven't managed to figure out logistics with a baby who is always on me, doesn't sleep on her own, and doesn't have a crib or anywhere to lay in any case.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Rosie, I couldn't handle sex until 6 months after my c-section. It's been much easier after the VBAC. I figured the sex pain was due to breastfeeding hormones. Now I'm not so sure.
 

[RosieL]

Wow, strange about the CS issue.

Delic - same here, except we have a bassinet. I just put a zonked out, swaddled baby in the bassinet in hopes of stealing a few moments with DH...nope! We laughed as Odin started to fuss...fingers crossed for next time.

[thomatuttle]

haven't done it yet, but planning on it tonight.  of course, that all depends on DD staying asleep and getting DS to fall asleep, not on the boob, and in the cosleeper.  although DH did just start watching the replay of this years rose bowl football game.  we had the opportunity to dtd earlier (DS was asleep and DD was playing quietly in her room)  but he said we should wait until both kids were asleep.  now, who knows if it'll even happen tonight or not.  DH has been wanting it since DS was born, and at the first opportunity he puts it off.  i was hoping to have sex tonight because i have my 6 week pp appointment tomorrow and figured it would be good to have sex before so that if anything felt off or anything, that i could tell my doc.  i don't feel super into having sex, but i feel bad for DH and i just want to get some of the closeness back between the two of us.
 

[adoremybabe]

I have never been interested in intimacy before the 6 week mark. This time I am. I'm so afraid though! My fertility usually takes a while to return depending on how much my nursling breastfeeds. That being said.... is it or can it be common to ovulate once in the first few weeks after birth?

As a sane mother, I know that getting pregnant would not be the end of the world but my body would totally suffer. My emotions would probably suffer. Not to mention the fact that DH and I both feel that 4 is a wonderful number for us and are pretty much done having babies.