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Stressed about delivery (yes, I know, delivery...5 months away)

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

OK, so I was in with my midwives yesterday and to bring people up to speed....I've had two previous sections (not by choice but by reasons that don't suggest a need for a third section) so I'm hoping for a VBAC.  

 

It started out GREAT.  In my town the OBs in the past have been very unsupportive of V2BAC but apparently two of them have switched within the year.  (yea!).  So, I have to get a letter from one of them saying that I"m a good candidate for a VBAC as when I go into labour, it's a crap shoot as to who of the 11 OBs in town will be on call in the hospital that day and some documentation to show that I've been seen by an OB is mandatory.  But I'm reading this as "fantastic, supportive of V2BAC and I can do what I want and have my delivery (if all is well with me & babe) the way I would like to.  Double yea!

 

Then this bombshell.  Challenge is because my second baby was 8 lbs, the OB will refuse to let me go past my "due date" which means that my chances of having a vaginal delivery are pretty slim. I've never gone into labour before my due date, in fact with my second I was 5 days past and had to have a section due to low amniotic fluid.  My first I started labour 10 days after my "due date".  

 

So, my midwives says that they will start stretch & sweeps at 38 weeks to give me as much help as possible...but stretch & sweeps in the past have done nothing for me too.  

 

I realize each pregnancy is different and there is nothing to say I won't have this baby before 40 weeks but to have a DATE on it is so stressful!  I mean for goodness sake, it's a DAY.  Who's to say my baby wasn't mean to hang out until 40 wks 4 days?  Or 41 weeks?  They basically will schedule a section on the 1st or 2nd of November so that it doesn't create more stress on me or baby (the OBs "thoughts", not mine)

 

GRRRRRR.  How frustrating is this?  It's not like pregnancy and waiting for labour can be intense enough but now with every hope in my pocket to be able to delivery vaginally, each day that passes getting closer to November 1st, I'll be more and more agitated.  :(  

 

Why can't, if all is healthy with mom & baby, they let a woman take things in course.  I realize I could do this on my own if I really wanted to but b/c of the challenges we've had in the past, I do want support and I do want to deliver in a hospital.  But they make it so politically difficult to do so that it really puts a ton of stress on us as we lead up to such an amazing time.  Right? 

 

OK, done ranting. Promise.  Or at least until 38 weeks when the stress kicks in....  :)

post #2 of 10

Is it possible to fudge your due date some way?

post #3 of 10

Bummer.  So why is it they won't "allow," you to go past your due date?  What's wrong with an 8# baby?  I can understand your stress right now, even though this is 5 months away.  It would be nicer to assume that your body can do this and not have to schedule anything.

post #4 of 10

No one can force you to have a c section.  Even if they schedule it for nov 1, they won't come to you house and drag you to the hospital.

Can you find a different care provider and fudge your LMP or whatever you're using for due date?

My kids are always born after their "due date". 

post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 

Totally agree with all of you guys.  I don't have much choice here if I deliver in the hospital.  If I go past dates and show up at the hospital, they will go into automatic section.  I know I could say no but inevitably there will be a fight about it and that's the last thing I want during labour.  I'll have to talk to the OB closer to the dates (week 28 I have a meeting with him)...I want him to recognize I would appreciate the ability to just try.  That's all I want.  The ability to try to have my baby vaginally.  Regardless of whether they are showing up as an 8 lber or not, (most u/s are off by up to a pound anyhow!)....what's to say my body can't handle it.  

 

Thanks for the feedback ladies!  I do appreciate your support!  I'll keep you posted -mainly I needed to vent today too.  :)

post #6 of 10

Ugh SO frustrating!!! I am a VBA2C hopeful as well and I'm so sorry you are dealing with this kind of non-evidence based >bleeeeeep<!!! I gotta be honest I would probably lie about my LMP and refuse too many U/S (gives them too many chances to change the date based on measurements). Hate to say that but yeah...

 

Just as an anticdote - My DS was 9lb 11 oz and was born 4 days before my EDD. My DD was 8lbs 13oz and was born THREE weeks past her EDD (thank goodness for midwives!). I really thought my second baby was going to be some kind of Sasquach (sp?) because of my first being so large and me being so far past dates but my MW explained that their growth tapers off and they don't keep packing on the pounds at the same rate after 40 wks. Phew lol!

 

I hope you get to have your VBAC!

post #7 of 10

I am so sorry you have to go through this.  I was in a similar situation when I gave birth to my daughter last February.  My OB told me he couldn't let me go past the due date because he did not want the baby to be over 8lbs when attempting a VBAC. It was soooo stressful having a deadline.  I kept working on my OB, making my case, until he relented and gave me a week and three days after the due date to deliver naturally.  My reasons for him where 1.  My first was over due by over a week  2.  He was not a big baby 3.  Even if the baby was 8+ lbs plenty of women have VBACS  with big babies 4. Ultrasound are notoriously wrong when estimating wieght at the end of pregnancy (my sister was told her baby was going to be a whopper and he was all of 6lbs and some change)  5.  Due dates are an estimate not an exact date

 

It was not confrontational or a "fight" but I was firm and reasonable in my request and kept at it.  I also backed up my reasoning with my medical reports and literature I had researched.  Maybe it could work for you.  It's horrible along with all the worries that you have in pregnancy that the doctors compound it by setting limits on something so unpredictable.  I did end up having my VBAC 6 days after my due date.  Good Luck to you I wish you the best.

post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 

Awesome support, ladies. Thank you!  I appreciate it!  I haven't met with him yet so maybe I"m working myself up prematurely.  He's a pretty level-headed OB in general (he did my last section) and very liked/appreciated by the midwives.  So, I think & hope he will be open to discussion on it.  

 

I just keep going back to it in my head - this is MY birth.  He's there to HELP me.  Not HINDER me.  :)  And in reality, he most likely won't even be there....it would just be the midwives if all goes swell.  :)

 

I'll keep you posted after I meet with him!

 

cheers,

andrea

post #9 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

Is it possible to fudge your due date some way?

Yep, this is my thought.  Just fudge that date, then it is up to you as to how far past you are comfortable with.

post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 

I don't think I can fudge the date.  The OB and hospital and midwives all have the ultrasound that dates it for when it does.  If I didn't have a dating ultrasound then yes, but that's not the case.  :(  Thanks for the idea, though!!!

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