I was a parent's worst nightmare when I was a teenager...well, more like when I was 18. I was a goody two shoes until I turned 17 and started fooling around. Then, I found myspace and started dating older guys...and then I found a guy through myspace and started dating him for 5 months during my senior year. My parents hated him with a passion because he was 5.5 years older than me and he was very into himself. He was also in the Army.
My parents did all they could to cut contact between me and him...but I lied my way instead to sleepover at his barrack and stuff like that. Sooo, I graduated high school and my dad (who was a retiree and worked overseas as a civilian for the military) visited just to see me at graduation... He then left to go back overseas and I was once again left alone with my mom.
My mom's relationship with me was VERY strong. I loved her with everything I had. We were best friends until this guy came into the picture...and then, we turned enemies. Basically, her thought was that he was stealing her baby (me) away from her.
Anyways, to make matters short, this guy called me up one day two weeks after I graduated and said to me "HEY! We should get married!" But... I already had a scholarship to go to the most prestige college in the state and I wanted to go ...but marriage sounded like a great fairytale... so, I packed my things up and left as quickly as I could without telling my mom or anybody. UNTIL my mom caught me in the act and asked furiously "What are you doing?" I replied "I'm moving out." She said "WHAT?! No! You are not throwing your life away to this guy!" I said "Whatever! I'm going whether you like it or not. We are getting married." I saw the "guy of my dreams" standing right outside of the door. My mom threatened to kill me (but she really wasn't going to...I know her.) And I left crying. The guy yelled at my mom for making me cry. We both left and she threw my birth control pills out onto the front yard.
We immediately got married that same day. I told my sister (who I was really close with) and she cried. That was the end of our close knit family because to them, I was dead to them (and that was their own words) EXCEPT my dad.
So, throughout the marriage, there was a lot of emotional abuse and became very depressed. I couldn't do anything but work... I wasn't even allowed to go to college for his fear that I could leave him...He yelled at me and said it was my fault if he did something wrong like leaving the keys in the car and being late for work. I was done with it and the only thing that he said would make a divorce would be if I cheated on him... so I did through fake messages through instant message with a guy I didn't even know who was halfway across the country. He saw them and basically threw me onto the ground and almost...ALMOST...physically hurt me.
We separated a couple of times and kept going back and forth between my parent's house and to him. My mom became sick of it and would not allow it anymore.. Every time I came over, she became more depressed because she had hope in me that I would stay with her... and then I would leave and she became depressed. It was a cycle. My dad had to quit his job because he could not leave my mom in this much agony.
All this was 3 years ago and we still aren't divorced. (Shows how much money means to him because military pays him more if he has a dependent under his name...greedy bastard) We finally got it started though.
NOW that I am away from STBX... every time I visit family, they ALWAYS bring up this subject and interrogate me with questions of WHY WHY WHY? I am trying to get closer with my family again but... it is not getting easier. I get depressed and guilty of what I have done 6 years ago. I apologized to my mom a million times but she just doesn't want to talk to me. I have hurt her so much over the years. I just want my mom back. I miss her a lot. And I have grown from what I used to be. If only there was a way to take back time... I'm tired of it tearing me apart.