Fetal Viability and Natural Miscarriage « Back to Group Discussions

[revolting]

Yesterday, I was bleeding pretty heavy, so I went to the ER. I had a transvaginal ultrasound that showed I was measuring at 7.5 weeks instead of 8w6d like I was at the time of ultrasound. They also said they couldn't find the heartbeat, but they reassured me that sometimes it's too early to tell. They did not give me hcg numbers (and after being up 24 hours, I was too tired to remember before I got released). Despite the gushing of blood I've been having recently, when they did the pelvic, my cervix was closed. They told me to follow up with my care provider within a week but thus far the pregnancy looks fine. I don't know: to me, not finding the heartbeat even if I was only at 7.5 weeks gestation seems like not fine; and that I had a positive pregnancy result at 4w1d makes me suspicious that I could be that far off on my dating. I'm really really really worried that my embryo died, and since they weren't positive that it had, they told me things were fine. Has anyone ever had a similar experience and had things turn out fine? Should I be preparing myself for a miscarriage, or is there good reason to still be hopeful?

Also, I'm interested in natural miscarriage advice, just in case. I had a natural miscarriage with my first pregnancy. I hemorrhaged and ended up needing a D&C. It was a painful and terrifying experience. I rather avoid a D&C if I can, but I was wondering what predisposes women to hemorrhage from natural miscarriages, things I can do once I know how the baby is doing (hopefully next week)? How do you cope for the waiting between knowing you have an embryo that has passed and for the miscarriage to really start? I've heard that women are especially fertile after a miscarriage: is this true? Then why do they recommend you wait several months before trying to conceive again? If you have a natural miscarriage, when can you start having sex again? Does it take longer to conceive again after a natural miscarriage vs a D&C? Assuming that I don't hemorrhage, how painful would it typically be? Will I need someone to take care of my kids?

[mamaharrison]

acupuncture is wonderful for these issues. If you can find an experienced practitioner, then you can get the process started once you have a confirmed non viable pregnancy rather than waiting. Also, they can address the hemorahging with herbs during the management of your care, too. 

I hope that everything turns out fine for you, IME, when with this the hospital tech was right and there was actually nothing wrong with babe and it went on to be a viable pregnancy despite my intuition otherwise. So, I really would wait to see how things proceed before trying any natural methods for MC.

[mamadiamond]

i'm sorry you're stuck waiting now. i know that is hard. i won't say to give up hope, because really anything can happen in early pregnancy (i have a sister in law who survived her mother having an abortion), and ultrasounds are not foolproof, but i think it is wise to prepare for the posibility of MC.

as far as preventing hemorage, there are herbs that tone the uterus and stop bleeding. raspberry leaf, shepherd's purse, nettle leaf, and motherwort are all used to prevent excess bleeding after birth. you can drink them in a strong tea every few hours while bleeding is occuring. motherwort is not safe if there is a chance the baby is still alive, but the others are ok and can strengthen your uterus for whatever happens. some other things that don't stop bleeding but do help your body cope with lots of bleeding are coconut water and vitamin C.

doctors say to wait to try to get pregnant because they want accurate dates, so they want you to have a normal cycle or two before getting pregnant again. after my MC my doc told me there was no medical reason to wait, but it just makes it easier to date the next pregnancy.

my natural MC was at only 5 weeks, so i don't know about later on, but the pain was worse than a period but less than labor...i spent a day on the couch and then the worst was done. i bled for about 8 days, and i think day 8 is when we had sex. here is a really good blog post about natural miscarriage and what to expect http://mamaandbabylove.com/2012/01/31/my-natural-miscarriage-story/.

i hope things turn out for the best, and that you don't need any MC info.

[darkblue0729]

*hugs* Mama, I am so sorry you are worrying right now. I hope that there is no cause to think about a natural miscarraige. I echo the recommendations for sheperd's purse and nettles, also red clover. They make sheperd's purse tinctures as well so you don't have to brew a tea if that's not your thing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[flatlander]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope that you don't end up experiencing miscarriage again. 

I had a natural miscarriage near the end of the first trimester. There wasn't much time between when I realized it would happen to when it began (within the same day).  I didn't have much time to get my head around what was happening before I went in to labor, so as far as coping I really just embraced that my body knew what to do and shut my fears out of my mind while it was happening. For me, it wasn't physically painful. But I didn't find labor to be painful for the birth of my baby either, and I'm not sure how/if those correlate. But it was definitely intense, powerful, and strong contractions.

One midwife told me to wait at least 3 cycles before trying to conceive again. Another midwife said start trying right away, that there's no need to wait. 

I needed someone to be there with my child during the labor part of my miscarriage (which lasted a few hours). I also needed support the next day or two because I was physically and emotionally wiped out. For me, the entire miscarriage was complete after 2 weeks (I think that might be longer than what is typical, but I'm not sure), but I didn't need someone there the whole time. I was able to solo parent during the day after those initial few days.

One thing that helped me was to have my midwife on the phone at various times during my experience. She was able to help me figure out when I could stay home, and if I needed medical support. She really normalized the entire experience for me. And she never tried to push drugs or interventions on me. I had to see a doc to get the results of the ultrasound. The doc was really acting stressed out and trying to get me to take pain pills (telling me repeatedly how painful it was going to be) and trying to convince me that she should get in my uterus to "help it out". -- Interestingly, the midwife that supported me had experienced a few miscarriages herself, and the doc had never experienced one. 

You mentioned in another post that you might be interviewing some midwives soon. Were you able to find one that you liked?

[lulubikes]

Definitely hugs to you! The waiting is definitely really difficult!

My miscarriage was at 10 weeks, but the baby was about 7 1/2wks. At that point they did tell me definitively that the pregnancy wasn't viable. I think it was because I was 10 wks from LMP... But your situation is a bit different and I think that you never know what could happen.

As for my miscarriage. After the ultrasound confirming that I would miscarry, I had some accupuncture the next day. I also took some cotton root bark tincture - my naturopath/accupuncturist  suggested 3 droppers full 3 times per day until the miscarriage started. But I think I only took one dose. I had the accupuncture at 11, took the cotton root bark and miscarriage was in full force by 4 pm. I was really uncomfortable in bed most of the day leading up to it and the day after - pretty strong contractions/cramping. I had a short "labor" with regular contractions that were very painful, I had to moan through them - and a lot of bleeding. Then they eased off and things subsided. I found that being on the toilet or in the tub was most comfortable for me. If I had a child, I would have needed help during that time definitely. The leading up and afterwards, for me I think you might want help with your child, but it depends on your child.

As for how long to wait afterwards to have sex. Wait until after your bleeding stops - just like postpartum - that means your cervix has closed and there's no infection risk. As for when to try to conceive, what I found in my research really indicated that it depends on how much blood you lose and how depleted your body is. My naturopath/accupuncturist recommended and I decided not to try to conceive during the first cycle (no LH urine sampling or temp tracking), but not to use birth control either. I figured if I conceived and it stuck my body was ready. However, it took me 5 cycles to conceive afterwards!

My thoughts go out to you. I hope everything just works out!

[travelmumma]

Just wanted to check how you are going Mumma?

[revolting]

Thanks for all the support, mamas. I only had interviewed one midwife, and she isn't licensed in my state, so she can't do ultrasounds. My insurance doesn't cover midwives at all, so I made an appointment with an OB who is also a DO for next week in hopes of finding a heartbeat or finding fetal growth via an ultrasound. I've never met her, but she comes highly recommended, and I just wanted to see someone soon. It's on Thursday, and that day just can't come soon enough.

I've started passing clots, like the size you pass during your period. Before, it was just blood. Instead of just having periodic gushes, I'm bleeding about as heavy as I do on my period all the time. It makes me all the more despondent about the prospects for this pregnancy. It seems like every day is just a little worse. At this point, even hearing that the pregnancy isn't viable would be better than the waiting. I already think that (constantly, frantically, in a trying not to cry all day in front of the kids, can't sleep at night kind of way),  and then at least I'd have some closure.

Mamas, I'm a mess. I hate this. I am so stupid for letting myself get so excited about this pregnancy. I've had a miscarriage before. I remember when I interviewed that midwife, and I told her that I'd had an emergency D&C due to hemorrhage during a miscarriage and she inquired as to whether it's had any effect on subsequent pregnancies, I just dismissed it out of hand: afterwards, I'd had two healthy babies, conceiving easily (maybe a little too easy) and no real problems during the pregnancy and nothing big during the births. Of course everything was fine with me. Except, I guess not, since even if you've had a previous miscarriage, you only have a 25% chance of miscarrying again. Well, this pregnancy would make 2 out of 4 of my pregnancies ending in miscarriage, double the rate of typical odds. Maybe something's wrong with me after all.

I don't know mamas. Sorry to just dump all of this. My partner is so sick of hearing me whine, and I have no one to talk to, and I'm just so freaking upset all.the.time I feel like I can barely function.

[flatlander]

I'm really glad you were able to get an appointment. I am a little surprised you have to wait a whole week given your symptoms. That would really suck to have to wait so long. 

Bleeding is so scary during pregnancy. It's awful awful awful not to know what the bleeding means. I've had spotting or bleeding every time I've been pregnant (3 times, including present pregnancy) and it always scares me in to a panic. And I never like the waiting either. Sometimes I feel it's a like a mental exercise to test a woman's ability to stay sane or something.

I do want to share with you that my midwife told me a story recently where she worked with a mother that had regular periods her entire pregnancy. And the baby was totally safe and fine. And I remember when I experienced a miscarriage the first questions about the clots were how big they are, specifically if they were about as large or larger than an egg. And I remember the health care providers wanting to know how quickly I was soaking through pads. Granted, I'm not a health care provider, but it doesn't sound like you are passing large clots or bleeding super heavily. And your cervix wasn't open when you went to the ER, so that's good.

Originally Posted by revolting 

Maybe something's wrong with me after all.

I know that feeling. I don't think anything is wrong with you. I hope you aren't blaming yourself or your body. That can be an uber depressing place to be. I really don't think anything is wrong with you. Spotting, bleeding, and even miscarriages are normal. Sad and sometimes scary, but normal.
 

[flatlander]

Originally Posted by revolting 

I am so stupid for letting myself get so excited about this pregnancy. 

I forgot to mention: I don't think you are stupid for getting excited. I've thought about this myself, wondering if I should try to repress my own excitement and hopes. This is what I think. The only thing that can come from me being excited is that my growing baby is only feeling love and hope! I know for me, I wouldn't be any less sad if my pregnancy ended in miscarriage if I hadn't been hopeful and excited. (I hope that makes sense.)

[nhklh]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[darkblue0729]

Mama, I am so sorry.

[Mamabeakley]

Revolting, how are you doing now?

[tetiana]

I am so sorry you are going through this Revolting,  I know how hard it is, i had two miscarriages last year (Aug 24th and Dec 1st) i still feel traumatized from those experiences.

Just sharing from my experience, if you are RH negative and your hubby is positive make sure to get a rogham shot. Also, it took 6 weeks, for my HCG to go down to zero after my second misscariage. Do not try to get pregnant until its down to zero, thats what happened after my first m/c got prego before HCG was all the way down,i was doomed from the start :(. And yes, i heard from many that the probabilty of getting pregnant right after a miscarriage is much higher. I got pregnant within a month of my first m/c.....docs recommend you wait three months, they want your HCG to go down and for your cycles to stabilize.

My first miscarriage was stimulated with misoprostol, which made a trip to the bathroom a complete torture for the first two weeks after a miscarriage. The size of clots coming out where beyond belief. With the second one, i already knew what was happening, so decided to sit it out, and go through it naturally, after a couple of hours of severe cramps, i passed the "conception matter" which i stored and given to the doc for further testing. I am glad i went the natural way the second time around, my physical recovery was much faster and easier.

As far as D&C goes, it sould cause scarring, so you are always better off going the natural way and avoid D&C if at all possible. Please stay strong, wish you all the best! Keep us posted!

[revolting]

I ended up miscarrying. I called the OB I was supposed to see on Thurs, but I haven't heard back. Physically, I'm feeling okay. Emotionally, I was upset, but I also sort of knew it was going to turn out this way.
 

Thanks for all the support ladies, and good luck with your pregnancies.

[travelmumma]

I am so so sorry Mumma, truly I am

I hope your healing continues to go as smoothly as it can

xxxxxxxx

[flatlander]

revolting, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are well, physically and emotionally. You're in my thoughts.

[zebrachick83]

I am so sorry. I know how excited you were for this one and I can only imagine how difficult the past few days must have been. Lots of love and healing thoughts to you. 

[lulubikes]

Oh Mama, how rough it has been! I'm so sorry that this pregnancy ended in miscarriage too. That is such a bummer. Are there any support groups in your area for pregnancy loss - that might help. Also, have you seen the pregnancy loss pages from Earth Mama Angel Baby? http://www.babylosscomfort.com/index.php I've hear that there are great resources there.

It is completely normal to get excited by a pregnancy and devastating when it doesn't stick. Try not to be too hard on yourself!

Hugs!

[kaleiskind]

I'm so sorry this time didn't work out for you. I hope you have time to take care of yourself as you heal.