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Questions about becoming a surrogate for transgender intended parent(s)

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Hoping this is the right place to post this.  I apologize if it is not.


I am interested in becoming a surrogate and would like advice.  I have 3 children of my own, all naturally birthed, two home births.  I have been thinking about surrogacy for a year now, and just weaned my 3.5 and 5 year olds.  Since I am 33, I think it is now or never.  My oldest child is 8 and is Gender Variant.  All of these things have made me think that my ideal family for surrogacy would be a Transgender intended parent(s).  I would imagine it is harder for those couples to adopt and find surrogates?  Basically I think it is giving back to the community that is blazing a path for my son, so he can be who he truly wants to be.  With the compensation, I can pay off debt and save for the meds my son will need when he hits puberty.  It is kind of a good circle.


Can anyone give any insight to this process?  I am in Ventura County (Southern California).  I see a few surrogacy companies, but don't know how to pick.  I also would like some info from past surrogates.  I am leery of the meds they put you on.  I detest needles! Here are my ideals, let me know if this is even possible:


Homebirth with my midwife, OB vaginal birth backup if necessary if there are twins that are breech.

AP family

Transgender family

Not interested in being an egg donor

Pump breastmilk for a min of 3 mos.


I am also struggling with feeling like adoption should be a first try, and surrogacy second.  Can someone who has tried adoption and then tried surrogacy tell me why you chose to give up on adoption?  I feel like for some types of couples, adoption agencies would not work with them and so surrogacy might be their only option.  Is this naive?

Thanks for the time and info.

post #2 of 4

I'd suggest going to the site Surrogate Mothers Online if you are looking for information about surrogacy. The topic always seems to get controversial responses here.


That said, I have been a tradional surrogate (my eggs, intended father's sperm) for two different families and it has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. It's absolutely amazing to be able to help someone else create their family, it's truly a blessing. I had both of mine at home (in the parent's home) and I nursed/pumped for the babies for several months. It's totally possible to find the IP's you are looking for, you just have to be patient and wait for that perfect match instead of rushing into the sorta ok one. Finding IP's is a lot like dating...when you find the right ones you just know. Good luck on your journey!

post #3 of 4

Hi, Dare2Dream...


We're a transgender family interested in surrogacy.  We live in Northern California, and would love to talk to you in more detail.  If you'd like, send me a private email at listeningharder at gmail.  Much appreciated, and I hope all is well with you!

post #4 of 4
Thread Starter 

Hi Squashblossom,

I am sorry, I just saw this...8 months later!  And your email doesn't work. :(  I will PM as well.

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