Registry questions « Back to Group Discussions

[bostonmummy]

Hi again . . . I'm trying to figure out what to put on our registry now so that when I'm crazy busy with teaching this summer I don't have to think about it. Our midwife told us about myregistry.com that lets you add products from any website rather than registering with just one store. Love that option. But what to put on it? I can't figure out what we're really going to want aside from the obvious things like diapers and a car seat and onesies. I mean, I can't even figure out if I'm going to want/need a stroller since I think I'm going to use a Moby wrap at first and then an Ergo (thanks for the info in that thread, ladies!). I imagine I'll really want to get us out for walks and won't necessarily want to hold the baby the whole time, especially as s/he gets older and my back starts acting up (pretty much inevitable).

The other aspect is that I'd love to do more of a green registry, where I encourage people to buy 2nd hand and/or pass on their gently used baby thing. But we tried a green approach for our wedding, and I think people were so flummoxed by our approach that they pretty much ended up not giving us anything at all. Of course, we didn't really need a whole lot when we got married so it didn't matter — but having a baby is a whole other ball game because we genuinely need a whole bunch of stuff!

I guess the issue is that I really don't want to end up with a whole lot of things I don't want/need, but I also don't want to short ourselves if our friends and family want to help us. Any suggestions/ideas?

[pregnova]

Is there a way to organize the registry by preference? Like, so you could put some things on there that you aren't sure about, but know that anything you think is essential gets bought first? That'd be a nice system. lol

I know what you mean though. We had two baby showers last time and basically ended up with a lot of junk we never used. We received a stroller we never wanted as we intended to babywear, but no carseat. lol Bottles, but no Boppy pillow for breastfeeding. You get the idea. I even thought that it'd be nice if everyone bought us larger sized clothing so that way I could be prepared for a big baby AND be able to shop for newborn stuff on my own. But, they failed at that too because they gave us winter clothing that didn't fit until it was summer! lol

I'm betting we won't be getting a lot from family and friends this time. Mostly because it's a second baby, and everyone thinks we're super out there now with our parenting ways, so I think they're scared to try. lol But, if it came up again, I'd go big ticket items all the way. I'd love a new carseat, an Ergo, A lambskin rug, or a rocking chair. I'd even be interested in having them buy cloth diapers so long as I got to place the order myself because otherwise they'd have no clue as to what was what! 

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

There were so many things on our registry for ds that we never really used.  It's really hard to sort through all of what's out there vs what you will really use.

What we found with DS for strollers is that we never used the one that came with our car seat travel system because I wore him most of the time.  Once he was a little bigger, we did really like the third hand jogging stroller we inherited though and still use it all the time for our 3.5 year old. We like that it works well for taking walks, is still comfy for an older child and works great for walking through grass at parks or historic sites that don't always have nice paths.  I'm actually thinking we might want a double one for this baby and ds to both be able to ride in, especially so I can take walks as the baby gets older.  Once he was an older baby we also liked having an umbrella stroller that was easy to carry in our small cars when we travel but which we just don't use much otherwise.

Another thing you might want to register for is some place safe to put the baby down while you are taking a shower or getting dressed etc.  We received a baby swing that had a removable seat that with the kick stand up was an infant seat and when the kickstand was pushed back is a toddler rocking chair. We almost never used the swing, but until DS was crawling I used the baby seat in the bathroom daily when I was in the shower.  DS still uses it as his little rocking chair.  I'm going to re-cover it for this baby and I need to get ds a new little rocking chair.

Are you going to need a breast pump? some bm storage containers, bottles, other accesories?  That might be something else to register for.  We found water-proof pads to be really helpful items from our registry. They are great for keeping under mom and baby at night to keep our bed dry from leaky breasts and diapers. They've come in handy again now that he's working on potty learning btw. I also kept one in the diaper bag so that I had a clean place to change ds no matter where we were. If you are cloth diapering, don't forget wet bags and diaper pail liners.  Another thing that if I had to do it over again, I would have registered for a bed rail, though at that time I didn't plan on co-sleeping till we realized that it was the only way anyone in our house was ever going to get any sleep at all.

I think those were the big things for us that really got a lot of use whether we registered for them or acquired them later on.  

Hope that helps.

[pastrypuff]

One of my biggest suggestions is to bring a friend (or family member) who has already done the registry process and has a similar parenting style as you. They will be your guide as you walk thought the monster of a store!

Also do your research BEFORE you step foot in the door. Ex: Car seats, know if you want a convertible, infant, all in one... etc.. and read other mom's reviews on them when before you go.

Same goes for other big ticket items like strollers, if you are doing a crib or not, etc...

There is a great book you can get they helps you thought the buying process (I never read it but heard it was good) it is called The Baby Gizmo Buying Guide.

And one big question to ask yourself as you walk and look at all the cute stuff. Does the baby need this? Or I want this because everyone else has one?

[Diyan]

Registries are hard, since you don't really know what you'll need until you're in the thick of parenting, and since gifts are gifts, you might not get what you register for anyway.  I had 3 people - my mom, mother-in-law, and shower hostess - each ask me to register for a stroller, and I pointed out to each of them that I was registered for a Moby and an Ergo instead.  I ended up buying the Moby for myself and getting the Ergo for a Christmas gift a year later.

As for going green, I didn't try to have a green registry, but I did mention to a few specific people that I would prefer to get most things used, and my mom & sister-in-law both found nice yard sale items for me.

A few items you might want on your registry:

• a monitor.  even if you plan to share a room, there will likely be times you'll want to monitor from another part of the house.
• a changing pad and multiple covers.
• a thermometer.  we recently upgraded to the kind you point at the forehead, and it's so much easier to use than trying to get one to the right spot in his arm pit and hold it there until it beeps.
• bibs.  we used soft, absorbent ones for the drooling phase, and bigger, water-proof ones with pockets when we started solids.
• high chair.  speaking of solids, it was really nice, when they were learning to feed themselves, to have a high chair with a wide tray, so that most of the mess stayed on the tray which could then be transferred to the sink to clean.
• a mirror for the back seat of the car to see rear-facing babe.
• baby nail clippers
• board books.  there was about a year between when we started reading regularly to our first son and when I felt he could handle paper pages without tearing or eating them.  We very quickly got tired of the 3 board books we owned at the beginning, and our public library doesn't have much in the way of board books.  I didn't know anything about toddler books, but there are some good ones out there - we particularly like Boynton.
• foot stool. a previous poster mentioned a rocking chair, which would be great.  we already had rocking chair, but one of my favorite gifts I received was the Medela nursing stool.
• night light or small lamp. at least in the first month or two you'll probably have to night-time diaper changes. 

[sillymom44]

We bought our big items....we only got small things like clothes, soaps, blankets, bibs, etc.... I like showers to celebrate the baby; I could never count on others to get what we really needed. My MIL bought us a bunch of big items so that was really nice, but it they weren't items we picked out. That was OK though!

I hope we have some sort of party to celebrate our baby, but I have almost everything we need unless we ave a girl....then I'll need clothes.

[pregnova]

I think a blessingway would be really cool to have with a second child...and a first of course! I had never heard of them until I attended a client of mine's blessingway for her second child, but the experience was amazing. It's much more centered around celebrating the baby and the mother!!! with WAY less emphasis on the gifting that a typical baby shower has. Which is really nice since sometimes it feels like the Mama-to-be and the amazing job she's doing essentially creating life is put by the wayside far too often. 

[bostonmummy]

Yes, I'm definitely planning on doing a blessingway and hopefully the gift part will be largely secondary to the ritual/ceremony I'll be creating with all of the wonderful women in my life. Because there is so much to buy on our own, though, I would still love some help from my friends and family if they want. It's helpful to see what you all have experienced in the past. I love that in just a few months' time I'm going to be the one ready to dispense advice about what others might need/want as they prepare for their first child!

[Vegan Princess]

One good thing about registering at babies r us is that they will send you a 10% or 20% coupon to buy all the things on your registry that others didn't buy for you. I think we also opened a credit card (that we immediately closed) and ended up getting like 30% off everything. So put everything you think you want on it! And lie about your due date and make it way earlier than it is bc they take forever to send the coupon. 

I love babywearing. But I have gotten a ton of use out of my stroller. I like to walk to the grocery store or be out for long periods of time and I don't like lugging baby and all  my gear in a diaper bag - plus lug the groceries home. Strollers are great for carrying your groceries, etc. LOL. 

I think the things people really bought us were clothes, baby bath tub, towels. I don't recall getting anything I didn't want except for a baby soap set that was not organic. Plus you can always exchange things!

This is my 2nd. My friend offered to host a baby shower for me. I told her I don't want people to feel like they should bring a gift (especially since we are having another girl and have all the clothes and everything else already). But I told her I love the idea of celebrating baby and asking people to make prayer flags or something I can hang up and look at while in labor. 

Cindy

[gozal]

Our resources are limited, so we were very grateful and touched when family & friends helped us get most of what we needed for the baby. We didn't plan it that way, and we also didn't register for many things. Honestly, most of what we registered for were big-ticket items, and not so much for gift-giving purchases, but to keep a list for ourselves for after the baby was born. We don't buy anything for the baby until then, or have baby showers. Where I'm from you do layaway and then pay and set up delivery once you are home with the baby. Since they don't have that in the US, we used a registry the same way. Obviously it was close family and friends who bought mostly. 

So the bigger/expensive items for us that we ended up using were:

-a king-size mattress!!!

-2 carriers, one for newborns and one for infants/toddlers

-a stroller (I don't think babywearing is all or nothing, I used both and needed/wanted both)

-a baby car seat

-convertible car seat for later

-a dresser (because we didn't have much furniture) with a changing mat

-a nursing pillow and nursing stool

-cloth diapers/accessories

Pricey and not necessary but useful:

-you may want a breast pump, my baby refused the bottle so I didn't end up using it much

-a wooden walker wagon and/or ride-on (wish I had thought to put those on the list)

-a convertible high chair (one that turns into a chair - a toddler can climb up him/herself - there are cheaper versions of the Stokke one)

-a play area thingy/mobile/place to hang toys 

-finally I found a bathtub on a stand, a little pricey but worth it in my opinion

-Nonplastic baby/toddler dishes, these can get $$$

-a baby monitor

-an organic crib mattress without the chemicals (we didn't really use our crib which my MIL insisted on getting, but we did use the mattress itself after he got older and started falling asleep on it for bedtime, before joining us) 

It really is useful to have a safe place to put the baby for a moment - mine was a swing. Later he liked the jumper thing for 15 min in the morning while I had my coffee. You can buy these for almost nothing used or borrow from friends, I wouldn't otherwise. When you get it for free/cheap it really doesn't matter if you use it rarely, it's just there when you need it. I know some people feel strongly anti-baby holder and I can respect that, but again, for me it's not absolute.

All the rest of the stuff is the small stuff. People will buy you tons of clothes regardless, at least in the beginning. 

Have fun! It is exciting anticipating!

[Mama505]

Hi there!  The following is a comment I made in a thread about the "necessities for a newborn".  I really didn't want a lot of the baby stuff, unless it would be useful.  So, we waited with some of the typical shower stuff (a stroller for instance) and borrowed for others to see if they worked for us (the bouncy chair swing thing).  Also, as I mentioned at the end... Freecycle and Craigslist are great resources for baby stuff. 

One thing about showers, or maybe just friends and family, is that they seem to want to buy the cute tiny things or the really "fun" things.  It seems like a lot of the stuff mamas really want or need get ignored because they don't come with a cute animal on them or in themed colors.  We never had an official shower, but it seemed like we got the mundane things (nail clippers, diapers, nose sqweegee (or whatever it's called)) when people were already sending along a cute outfit or book or something of their choosing.  You know what I mean?  I am not sure how you would incorporate that into a registry...

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We had soooooo many hand-me-downs for our first that I was finding bags of clothes and accoutrements long after he had outgrown them.  We had a very small living space then and tried to pare down to the very essentials but didn't really know what that meant.  So, here is my list, a combination of what we did use and what we will have for the next one (due in Oct)...

Bed- ours, now with a sidecar bed attached for our 2yo DS

clothes- we had SO many, but really he spent most of his time naked or so bundled against the cold that it was all about practicality

diapers- 1-2 doz cloth per size plus a potty for EC

diaper bag- SO would just stick a diaper and a wipe in his pocket, I would throw a couple in whatever type of bag I had with me, and one in the glove box for good measure

wipes- we bought disposable ones to keep in the car, but they always dried out and got dirty (the sticky closure wouldn't stay), cloth worked best for us

cream- my Mama made us salves and powders, but really breast milk, sunshine and air seem to be the best remedies for irritated skin

baby soap- we also didn't use soap until DS was older and actually getting dirty, then it was a drop or two of Dr B's in the bath water

jogging stroller- we just got our first stroller yesterday b/c DS (2yo) wanted it since he can't keep up on walks and I can only carry him for so long now

carseat- we got one from our friend that was under 5 years old and we knew the history of (no accidents) for the first stage, then got on that converts through the stages to a booster

bottles- someone gave us two, we had them just in case and then passed them onto a friend

stuff for pumping- we also had this just in case and I don't know where it went!

sheets- ours

burp cloths- I totally agree with the receiving blankets and prefolds burp cloths

blanket- we got several home made blankets as gifts even without having a shower and we still use them

sling or baby carrier- yes to both, I liked the Moby and still use the Ergo, SO has always preferred the sling

nursing cover- nope

co sleeper- just our bed

boppy pillow- we liked ours, it was also a hand-me-down

high chair- we used the Bumbo with a tray as previously mentioned for awhile, but DS really likes to stand or kneel in "his chair" to eat with us (just a chair that I know wont tip and has arms)

swing- DS seriously hated the swing, the bouncy chair, the vibrating thing... all of that

toys- a couple, but he preferred whatever WE were playing with

some type of bathing apparatus- the tub or sink exactly how everyone has described

pack n play- nope

**One thing not on your list that we could not have done without during the first few months was a Yoga ball.  There were times when swaddling our DS, holding him close, and bouncing on the Yoga ball was the only thing that would calm him down.  My legs were soooo sore, but sooo strong! 

I don't know if you have a Freecycle in your area (mine is through yahoo groups) or Craigslist but there is always TONS of baby stuff being given away there.  You could get stuff, try it out, and if it isn't for you, send it back out there into the world of Freecycle!  Another thing that I always tried to remember was that up until a very short time ago the tiny little being in your arms only had you around it.  (S)he didn't need anything except to be held, fed and kept clean.  A lot of the "stuff" is for you, and your partner and can be added as the need arises.  Nowadays it is super easy to run out to the store, or hop online, and pick up a nursing cover (for example) if you nursed at a park yesterday and felt totally exposed/uncomfortable.  Start small and then if you want to get something you will know it is because it will help you, then you wont just be using stuff because you happen to have it.

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Good luck and have fun!

[vegchica]

When I registered for my first I was so lost and overwhelmed!
Since this is my 3rd and it's been almost 7 yrs since my youngest I have nothing at all.
I know exactly what works for me and what doesn't, but it is much different with your first. I think you have to just try things out, everyone is different. The good thing is you can always return or exchange stuff that you get that you don't want. It seems there are people that stick to the registry and many that never look at it and just give you what "they" want to give you. I got several Johnson's baby products but I don't use chemicals so I just returned them for stuff I did want.

This time I registered at myregistry.com for this stuff:
Baby products from Earth Mama Angel Baby
Breast feeding essentials bundle from Earth Mama Angel Baby
Ergo Sport carrier from amazon
Organic swaddling blankets from amazon
Burt's bees baby dusting powder

I also will be registering at Babies R us for the following:

Wipe warmer (loved that and used my homemade wipes in it too)
Boppy (not necessary for breast feeding for me but like to prop the baby up in it when they get a little bigger, also makes a great pillow for me)
Teething toys/items (they have a lot of new stuff now, just something he can bite on besides my nipple!)
Humidifier (this is a must for me, also will be buying pure eucalyptus oil to use in it)
Cheap simple monitors
Mirror for car seat

I wanted to keep my list short so that I will hopefully have a bigger chance of getting what I want.
I will also be buying:

Convertible car seat (skipping the infant and going straight for this because it was so impractical to me when I did it the first time. Otherwise when they are 6-8 months old you're shopping for a new seat)
A sturdy comfortable rocking chair is essential! I got a $100 one at Target the first time and used it for 5 years and would still be using it if it wouldn't have fallen apart! This time I'm going for the best no matter the cost. I spent so much time in it breast feeding and rocking my toddlers as they got older.
A jogger (I'm a big walker/runner so this is a necessity for me.)
A very small sporty backpack to use as a diaper bag when we are out for awhile. I despised and didn't understand the point of hauling around a huge diaper bag full junk you don't need. I gave away the $60 bag I thought I needed after 2 weeks!
Lots of washcloths
Travel changing pad

I'm not worried about a high chair or exersaucer until I'm ready to use those. Those things just get in my way before that.

Other small things I will need and probably get a lot of at my shower:
Clothes
Lots of socks! (for hands and feet)
Bibs (so the drool doesn't stain and soak the clothes)
Lots of blankets (receiving and thick, I love having lots of them)

I think that's about it. Maybe a new jar of coconut oil because I use that for everything.
No crib or bedding because we co sleep. No baby bath tub because I just use washcloths to wipe them down in the beginning and take them in the shower with me if needed. Once they are bigger I will buy bath stuff to use in the regular bath tub. No pump or bottles because I could never get the hang of pumping and my girls never would take a bottle. Bouncer and swing were not essential for me but could be convenient at times.

Hope this helps in some way.