I want to start off by saying that I'm naturally really introverted, so it's really challenging for me to be part of an online forum. However, I really want to benefit from being a part of a community since this pregnancy is so emotionally hard for me. I've seen some other forums where people really respond unkindly to each other, so thanks to each of you for making this DDC feel like a safe place for me to turn to for support. Also, we moved to a more rural community with a vastly different culture about 100+ miles from my group of like-minded-mom-friends, so I'm feeling a strong need to reach out to others with more similar parenting philosophies during this time.
This is my third pregnancy. My symptoms have been so confusing, as they've been really different than any other pregnancy I've experienced.
pregnancy #1: I spent the entire pregnancy with severe morning sickness (except a couple of weeks during month 8). I mean, I was dry heaving, puking and vomiting anywhere from 5-20+ times a day. But I never got dehydrated or lost weight, so I counted myself as lucky. I had spotting at around week 6.
pregnancy #2: Again with the morning sickness, but not as severe. Spotting started at about week 7 or 8. I had a natural miscarriage at about week 10. It was very intense, traumatic, and lasted a really long time. It was at least 6 months before I would consider becoming pregnant again.
After trying for over a year, I finally got pregnant (this is pregnancy #3). I honestly believed I wouldn't never get pregnant again, so I feel like it's been an amazing gift to carry another life once again. But after my last pregnancy I'm feeling really realistic about what can happen during pregnancy, and that it doesn't always end happily.
I had some spotting/light bleeding at about 8 weeks. Then I had some more spotting just yesterday and today (I'm currently 11wks 3 days). My midwife has reassured me that all of this is normal, and that I shouldn't worry. And she recommended I could take a pregnancy test to help reassure me that the HCG levels are high, and that I'm not about to miscarry. I did that this morning, and it was positive. So that was reassuring.
But the other thing that's making me nervous is that I've been eating at least 6 times a day either to keep the morning sickness at bay, or because I'm ravenously hungry. And I haven't gained any weight. In fact, I've lost some weight. A couple of people have even commented that I look thinner. This weight loss thing has never happened to me before, so in combination with the spotting it's pretty disconcerting.
Intellectually I know that this is probably all normal stuff. But I think maybe the miscarriage traumatized me more than I realized. And I'm just feeling really isolated and lonely with these fears right now. It's not a good place to be.
Anyway, sorry for the long winded ramble. I was just hoping maybe someone could share their experience and help normalize all this for me.