Ok so, i keep thinking i should write this down, so i will bore you guys with it, and maybe those of us with "feelings" about their pregnancies can share too.
About 6 months ago i began to feel twins around me. I would doodle twins inside a belly on phone pads, i ordered a book on twins from amazon (the Noble one), we were looking at cars (we can't fit 3 seats in our current car so we'll need a new one) and thinking where the two buckets would fit. I also noticed myself double ovulating a few times (i have fairly distinct ovulation pains). I really felt twins were circling.
Fast forward to April, on the 3rd my friend had a baby girl, that evening i removed my IUD. A few days later AF arrived and i had a dream of 2 little baby girls (we already have 2 girls, i'm a major feminist and a lot of folks joke a boy wouldn't dare grow inside me). I ovulated the morning of the 20th. I had burning cramps for about 40minutes then a twist of ovulation pain on the right (all my living babies have come from my right ovary). It was VERY distinct, even for me.
At 9DPO i did a test. It was a cheapo strip test, 3 for 99p sort of affair. I don't know why i did it, it was a spur of the moment decision, i'd been feeling sick and i just wondered. It was positive. I have NEVER gotten a BFP before 13DPO, with any of my (6) previous pregnancies.
I tested again the next day. Positive, stronger - OH couldn't see the first one but he could see the second. That night i had a dream. In the dream i had had twin girls, Aphra and Stephanie. Stephanie died. She had trisomy 13 (in the dream, i mean, i had to look it up to find out what it was afterwards which was scary because she looked just like some of the photos Google throws up). I was holding her, all fresh from being born, she had a misshapen face and a cleft lip/palate but she was still really beautiful. She was like a little pink broken doll. Her sister, Aphra, was fine. In the dream i was holding her and all i felt was relief, relief that i wouldn't have to raise a disabled child. I woke up at that second feeling wretched that i could feel that way about my own kid. It was about 5am. At 11am on that day (11DPO) i had some spotting. Just a little, just for about an hour or two. The sort of thing normal people would put down to implantation. But i felt like the dream was a test, and i failed, and Stephanie left me.
My nausea left me, it turned out a bunch of folks i knew had had stomach flu and i realised it could have been that which made me feel ill. But i can't shake the idea that it was early nausea from twins, and that one left me.
I don't know how i feel about it, i guess there's no way of knowing either way, if i have a scan early enough i will ask how many corpus lutea there are. And if it's twins i will DEFINITELY be having the anomaly scan.
So that's my weird twins story. I've never felt this sort of thing about previous pregnancies, i never had a clue who was coming before. Does anyone else have these strong feelings?