Situation: Oldest dd is invited to an informal BBQ/ deck party. When we get there, she runs to host and asks if her sister can stay too (believe me, we've had the discussion about y you can't do this a million times rolleyes ). Host says of course my dear, and invites me too. Do you assume if they had wanted you there, they'd have invited you in the first place? Assume that if they really didn't want you there, they'd at least be hesistant and say no or make up an excuse? Not really sure what to do - I don't want to be an extra mouth to feed but I don't want to leave my kids there making more work for the host either. The dd who wasn't invited has always wanted to go to this party, I think she hasn't been invited because the kids get to pick one guest each; the younger dd is good friends with their kids, but not bffs. For any other party, I'd politely decline and scoop the kid and go; maybe I'm just rationalizing.
How do you handle one kid being invited to a fairly desirable party and not the other? What about spontaneous invitations? Any good tips on how to keep your kids from inviting themselves places? If it was your party, would you say sure you can stay but not really mean it, or would you only invite people to stick around if it really was all good with you?