What are your rules about makeup? Does your preteen or teen wear makeup?
For those who do allow makeup, any product recommendations?
My dd (12) is interested in starting to wear eyeshadow. She wants blue eyeshadow. I told her she could buy some with her own money and experiment if she felt like it. I don't expect she will be going out in public with a whole bunch of makeup on.
What are your rules about makeup? Does your preteen or teen wear makeup?
For those who do allow makeup, any product recommendations?
My dd (12) is interested in starting to wear eyeshadow. She wants blue eyeshadow. I told her she could buy some with her own money and experiment if she felt like it. I don't expect she will be going out in public with a whole bunch of makeup on.
My DD are 14 and 15 and have been wearing makeup for a couple of years. I feel this is NOT the hill to die on. It doesn't matter -- it washes off.
My plan before they were old enough was the I would take some place like Merle Norma and have them taught how to care for their skin, apply simply, natural looking make up, etc. It was what I would have wanted for myself as a teen.
But my kids aren't me. They like to go to Walgreens and browse the selections. They like big set with TONS of colors to play with. (Ulta often has set inexpensively). They like to play.
So, I guess I could say that I don't have rules about this. One of my DD's did go for about a year wear she wore a TON of black eye liner and and my DH and I kinda hated it. We didn't allow her to wear it to certain events (such as family events at his work) but she wore it to school every day. It was a phase. It passed.
My dd is 9 and is really interested in makeup...she like to label herself as a "tomboy" but she LOVES her tokidoki makeup she got for her birthday (it's pricey, but it was a joint gift kinda thing). I don't think it is really her wanting to make herself look "better" but a way of her being artistic. She is really into art and tattoos, and draws cool anime characters on herself all the time, so make-up art was just another form of creativity for her.
I was wary at first but like PP said above this was not a hill to die on for us. I make sure she washes her face and takes care of her skin. She wears her makeup proudly and it makes her happy to try different things, so I'm fine with it.
My DD 15 started wearing stage make-up for productions at age 8. At that point, she was taught how to put it on correctly and naturally. Well, it was heavier than normal so she wouldn't wash out under harsh lighting but it was still to be applied so she actually looked her age. It pretty much cured her of any interest in wearing make-up in real life. At 12, I asked her if she was interested in wearing make-up at school and she said "no." Even now, she does some power and mascara if going to a dance and nothing on a daily basis.
However, I will say that being formally taught how to do make-up appropriate for your look is really a great way to go with girl's starting to wear make-up... it can be the difference between girls who wear a ton of dramatic make-up and girls who know how to gently highlight their particular features.
Again, not the hill to die on here, either :)
My dd started wearing make up this year. I would have loved organic, etc. However, she strongly prefers the big sets, and there is a line at Target that is literally $1 for many of their items (Ulta, perhaps?). She LOVES this because she can afford so many options. For school we encourage more neutral shades. and she does wear eyeliner, some cream blush and lip gloss. It actually looks very pretty, not overdone, and I think she's got great judgement most of the time about her choices. We've had a few "Cleopatra" moments when the eye shadow was pretty intense, but not many.
I would say that in addition to being taught to apply make up correctly, which is a wonderful idea, emphasizing good skin care is a must. I can deal with the crappy make up, but we do quality skin care products, make up removal, etc. Great skin is the best make up.
Both dds (6 & 9 yo) have been excited about makeup since they were young. I don't really wear makeup except for special occasions, so I think they think of it as party stuff. They can do what they want in the house, as long as they don't make a mess, and if they want to wear a little lip gloss and eyeshadow out to a party or something I'm good with that. I would not be comfortable with them wearing makeup to school, and I doubt that will change much any time soon but if they want to wear some when they are in high school I won't argue about it.
DP and I always swore up and down we would never let our girls shave or wear makeup or high heels in our house. Of course, they are 11 and 14, so 1 & 2 are out the window. High heels are still a "never until you're 18" though. We made them each write an essay about the objectification/sexualization of women in America in order to shave. Yeah, that may be a little far, but we believe the only consent is informed consent, so if they wanted to be hairless, they needed to understand why, when in other countries they don't, women do it in the U.S. We want our girls to be empowered and not do things for the wrong reasons/because everyone else is doing it/etc. The makeup thing was to be expected, of course. If you're trying to look nice for something, sure, a little eyeliner or lip gloss isn't going to make them look like grown women. The only beef I really have with it is that DD14 wears an excessive amount of coverup for her pimples, but she does absolutely nothing to try and make her skin better. I tell her, drink more water, wash your face twice a day but not with that horrible, abrasive acid crap, eat less sugar, but of course she doesn't hear any of that. I wish she would actually take care of her skin instead of hiding it, but I can't make her do it. She only wears eyeliner, mascara, and coverup, so it's not like she ends up looking overly made up. DD11 is only allowed to wear makeup for special occasions, but she will sneak DD14's "special occasion" lip stain from time to time which looks absolutely garish on a young child. I suspect when she starts middle school next year, she will be putting on makeup every day *sigh* but again, not a hill to die on. I suspect her classmates will call her out on her overuse of makeup if she goes that route. Sometimes peer pressure is a good thing, lol.
We like Urban Decay because it's not tested on animals and it's great quality. Very expensive, but it makes a good Christmas gift (an eyeshadow palette runs around $40 but it should last a year if they're not using it every day). The pigments are really good and the colors are vibrant, which of course teenagers love. So far as grocery store makeup goes, Neutrogena is the best for coverup. I like Revlon eyeshadow okay, but the "real deal" always looks better. My mother is an avid Sephora shopper and bought DD14 an amazing 60 color pallette of eyeshadow, blush, and lipgloss with her "points" when she was 12 and she still uses it. If you can come by the Sephora sampler, it's a great deal, but I think you can only buy it with points.
Great to see some replies!
I personally don't wear eye makeup very often and when I do it is very subdued- not the look dd wants! I don't care if she wears something more flashy but I'd hate for her to really cake on makeup all the time. I was thinking of getting dd a book about skin care and applying makeup to get different looks.
Such sensible solutions in this thread - I'm really enjoying it. I agree, not a hill to die on, but learn how to apply it properly and with some subtlety. I am fascinated by all the different ways that our girls today know that they are becoming women - and make-up is often one of them. My particular passion is in women creating rites of passage for girls as they come of age, as in every culture and everywhere in the world children need their growing into adulthood to be acknowledged. When we don't do this - and in many cultures it is often a gateway that we've lost - then our teenagers will seek to create their own sense of being grown up. This is when make-up and clothes can be used inappropriately, rather than being a wonderful way of playing with appearance and moving towards womanhood.
Ugh I HATE MAKEUP!
I'm so glad my sister isnt allowed to wear any to school. I think all it does is waste time. She has become attached to her makeup, so much so that she is insecure about herself and its like a security blanket. She worries about how she looks, straightens her wavy hair, wears makeup and a nice outfit. Its not like the makeup is garish but its just unnecessary and it makes me feel kind of sad for her. She doesnt need to overly obsess or be concerned or worry about her appearance and yet she does.
I don't wear make up.
At one point, I saw my choice to not wear cosmetics as part of being an empowered feminist and refusing to remake myself as something other than what I naturally am. Now, I see my choice as a reflection of the privilege that comes with having fairly good skin. As I work my way through this hormonally wacky period known as my 30s, I still don't wear make up, but I have acquired an impressive collection of moisturizers, cleansers, and other concoctions whose use is increasingly necessary to keep my skin in "I don't wear make up" condition. I am investing at least as much time and money in my routine as I would if I used make-up.
On reflection, I've been doing what it takes to make myself happy with my appearance all along.
Ugh I HATE MAKEUP!
I'm so glad my sister isnt allowed to wear any to school. I think all it does is waste time. She has become attached to her makeup, so much so that she is insecure about herself and its like a security blanket. She worries about how she looks, straightens her wavy hair, wears makeup and a nice outfit. Its not like the makeup is garish but its just unnecessary and it makes me feel kind of sad for her. She doesnt need to overly obsess or be concerned or worry about her appearance and yet she does.
I think a security blanket is OK. If doing those things makes your sister feel confident, she should do them.
It's easy to criticize concern with appearance because culturally, we see appearances as shallow. But you know what? I know some women who give themselves confidence by stepping into the ladies' room and putting on lipstick, and then go back out in the world and use that confidence to get stuff done, and that's pretty impressive. They don't need it either, but it works.
My DD is now 16.
I don't wear make-up myself, except for some cover-up on an occasional zit. I once had some lipstick, but it dried up for lack of use.
When she was a little girl, I only allowed her to wear stage make-up for theatrical productions, or face-paint for Halloween. When she was around 10, little girls began to play w/ it at birthday parties and she came home w/ nail polish a couple of times in her "goodie bag". I said "When you're over 16, you can wear nail polish." and put it aside. There were a couple of times when my s-i-l's offered her manicures and I said "clear polish or buffing only." We did give her a manicure set when she was 12 or 13, so she could file, deal w/ cuticles, and buff if she wanted. Now that she is 16, I have taken her for 2 professional manicures and she had colored nail polish applied. But, she also understands why I was insistent on clear when she was younger (because she saw how quickly it chips, etc.).
When she got to be about 14, she began to sometimes wear eye liner and mascara on the weekends. I mainly reminded her to clean it off well before bed. I guess she bought it out of her pocket money.
She wanted a streak in her hair when she was almost 15, and I took her to a hair salon for it, because I feared scary results if she tried it on her own. The next year saw her messing around w/ trying to achieve purple on dark brown (almost black) hair until she decided her hair looked better the way it comes out of her head.
Her school only allows "discreet" make-up for girls in her year or higher.
She went to her first "prom" last month and wore mascara, eye-liner, lip stick, and some powder (so her face wouldn't be shiny).
What are your rules about makeup? Does your preteen or teen wear makeup?
For those who do allow makeup, any product recommendations?
My dd (12) is interested in starting to wear eyeshadow. She wants blue eyeshadow. I told her she could buy some with her own money and experiment if she felt like it. I don't expect she will be going out in public with a whole bunch of makeup on.
I've never been a big make-up wearer - don't even own any at this point. My 18yo daughter doesn't care for it, either, and never really has. And really? She has no need for it. HOWEVER... My son (20) has had his make-up days. He did eyeliner in HS for a while, and some of his friends (in HS and in college) have colored him up. And I have to admit - he wears it well.
Both options are fine with me - personal decision, IMO.
I don't wear much make-up anymore, although I used eye shadow, eye liner and lipstick routinely when I was younger. (Not so much mascara - never did like putting it on or wearing it) In my 40's, I wear very little - sometimes a little eye-liner and some lipstick. All this to say that there's always been some make-up in the house for the kids to mess around with and they've seen me wear it, but not obsess about using it.
I've never liked the look of a tween wearing lots of make-up so it's not something I really encouraged for daily use. During those years, DD had professional manicures and pedicures and played a lot with nail colours to indulge the make-up impulse. Buying skin care products - cleansers and lotions etc. - also helped satisfy the hankering for cosmetic products.
When DD started seriously wanting facial make-up when she was about 13 or 14, I set up a couple of appointments for her. Sephora was really good, MAC was another good place. They explained the various products and helped her apply it without looking like a clown mask. I found that they were careful keep "the look" toned down and natural. She could try a bunch of colours and textures (matte, glossy etc.) without committing and take home a few products that work really well for her.
Last Saturday, we spent the afternoon at our favourite nail salon (scrupulously clean, flat screen playing chick flicks with subtitles, massaging chairs) getting manicures and pedicures to mark the start of summer. It was a lot of fun and something we do together at least a couple of times every summer.
My teens started wearing makeup at 12.5-13 now at almost 15 and 17 they wear makeup daily.
I don't do make-up AT ALL- well, I use chapstick, mascara, sometimes concealer. But that's it. Otherwise, I really don't care about the way I look. If I have a bad hair day, people are just gonna have to accept it, because I never have the time, nor the patience to do all that every day. I do straighten my otherwise wavy hair every once in a while, but only for the most important of occasions. Because, really, I look bad with my hair having burned ends. Same thing with my DDs. They're not really interested in makeup- they're minimalists, like me. But they are allowed to wear nail polish, just not extreme colors. One of them is rather talented at nail art, too, so I don't mind that so much since she does a really good job it's scary. Another wants her hair dyed, but only a streak- which is a better option than dying the whole thing, since it's more natural and pretty, and they need a professional to do it first. We'll see. I guess I'm really laid back with my makeup, so they don't really go overboard because of it. And, like the others here, I started wearing makeup as an actor and dancer when I was younger. I allow my kids to shave, but only if they want to, and they need someone to show them how. I forbid high heels as well. I don't allow beautification unless it's for dance or acting or a special school function, but that's it. That's my beliefs!
I highly recommend a brand called Alima Pure. It's 100% mineral makeup. There are some pretty intense bright colors, but I mainly stick with the more subdued mattes. It used to be that you could order eye shadow and blush samples for a dollar each. They came in a little tiny plastic pot. Now they don't do samples anymore, except of foundation powders. :(
I also am dying to try the All-You-Need kit from Purity Cosmetics, but it's too dear for me right now.
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