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!!!Weekly Chat May 21st!!!

post #1 of 70
Thread Starter 

WOAH.. May is almost over?!  dizzy.gif


How is everyone doing this week? Any exciting news? appointments? pains and trails? things you're looking forward too?


Happy Monday!!



post #2 of 70

I decided this weekend that until my kids are older, I will not be going to any more weddings that my husband is in, unless I will know a good amount of people there I can talk to and can help me out.  The one we went to on Saturday was just too exhausting and that's not going to change when the second is actually here.  Elsa did great, but it was a looooong day (why is there always hours between the wedding and reception, grrrr) and I was bored as all get out and exhausted to boot.  No more.


I also learned yesterday that my father-in-law, a pastor, has pretty much decided to take the call that was extended to him to take a position in a church two hours away.  :(  He's been the pastor of our church for almost 25 years, and it's really hard to imagine it without him.  Not to mention that I feel bad for Elsa, who won't be able to understand why we can't just go to Grandma and Grandpa's house or have them come here anytime like now.  My mother-in-law especially is a big part of my support system and I'm going to be really sad to lose them, as selfish as that is.


We don't feel very welcome among the younger families at church - they kind of clique together and exclude us, so we aren't sure if we'll continue going after my in-laws leave.  But then that leaves us trying to find a new church.  And then that messes up the baby's baptism.  Even if we stay at our current church, that means some stranger acting as interim pastor will have to baptize him instead of his own grandfather, which is how I always pictured it.  And I feel bad that they worked so hard and waited so long to buy their home a few years ago and now they're leaving it.  I love the house and going there to visit all day, with the little ones starting to come along.  I always thought they'd  all be running around that house.


I know a lot of you have it so much harder and your loved ones are much farther away, but when you're used to them being ten minutes away it's really a big change.  I think it's almost sadder than if my own mom were to move away.  I love her and she's wonderful, but she's just supportive in a different way.  She works full time and has a weird schedule, so we don't see her as much anyway.  Her way of showing love is through gifts, not so much time.

post #3 of 70

Ninetales hug2.gif  I'd be sad too.  On the baptism IME in situations like that most people are willing to make special arrangements.  Like I would think the interim pastor would be OK with allowing the former pastor of the church to preform the baptism of his own grandchild.  Or if you decide to leave the church you could have the baby baptized at your FIL's new church (unless there are denominational rules about having to be official members of the particular church where the kid is being baptized of course).


If it helps, we live about 2 hours form my MIL and see her on average about once a month.  It's been this way since DD was born and MIL and DD have a great relationship.  It's not the same as having them right around the corner, but your kids can still have close relationships with their grandparents.


As for me, I have probably my last appt with my current practice this week.  It's with the MW, who I like.  I'll be letting her know how annoyed I was by the epidural video from last time and that I'll be leaving the practice.


Pregnancy brain has set in for me.  I swear I forget everything and I may qualify as ADD.  I left some books ad my phone at my Bradley teacher's house last night so I have to go pick those up today before I go to the store.  And I keep starting things around the house (packing up an area or cleaning a room etc) and getting distracted by something else.  So I have all these half packed boxes and half cleaned rooms.  Thankfully my mom is coming over a few days a week to help me. She keeps saying she feels like she's not doing very much, but mainly she keeps me on task and helps me finish the half done things.


DD seems to be going though a phase of not following directions/ignoring me when I ask her to do something.  I'm trying hard to find the balance between patience and discipline, but my patience isn't doing that well.  I keep reminding my self that her world is changing  whole lot with a new baby coming and a move right around the corner and daddy changing from working from home to being gone all day with a full time office job.  Some acting out is normal and expected and really, it could be soo much worse.

post #4 of 70

Ninetales - Hugs to you! Your IL's sound wonderful. I'm sure it will be a priority for them to continue to play that special role in your family. But transitions are always tough! Maybe finding a new church home where you and your DH feel comfortable would be a nice change. IMO, acceptance and support is a large part of what a church family should provide. I think KristyDi's suggestion that Grandpa baptize your LO at his new church is a great idea. It can still be a very special time. :)


KristyDi -  Hello baby brain!! I'm definitely there. About 2 weeks ago I started to notice that I have no ability to focus. I forget everything, conversations are ridiculous, I constantly forget my point. I'm so scattered and floaty, I hate it! Blah! Everyone says its cute but its the most annoying part of pregnancy I've expereinced yet! irked.gif


I hope everyone has been doing well these past 2 weeks! My trip went well. LO was pretty quiet for the first week but last week she was very busy in there. Lots of wiggles and kicks pretty much on the hour. Daddy got some good kicks last night when we got home. love.gif It was so great to see good friends and spend some time w my family. I love my Grandma's farm! It was a loooong trip though, and I am definitely happy to be home! And now its peddle to the meddle time for baby projects. My Mom and I unearthed a big collection of vintage pull toys at my Grandma's from her childhood. So cute! I'm going to use them as decor in the baby's room and maybe 'special' toys when LO is bigger. I think my nursery is going to have a lot of vintage flavor going on.


I can't believe this weekend is Memorial Day! What?! How is it nearly June?! I have an appt and my GD test on Thurs. I'm really hoping I can talk them into doing another quick ultrasound to confirm the sex. Otherwise I'm just going to schedule an elective US. I just want to know! We have plenty of surprises in store as it is. We should be finding out about DH's orders and when/where our move will take place in the next couple weeks. Possibilities include Norfolk, VA, Pensecola, FL, San Diego, CA. So pretty much anywhere! Then the fun task of finding a new home, MW, etc at 34ish wks begins. I've pretty much accepted that my head is going to be spinninng for the next 12 wks. dizzy.gif

post #5 of 70

Aw, thanks for the hugs.  Unfortunately FIL won't be starting at the new church until September - MIL is insisting he take a month off to de-stress, and I'd rather do it sooner than later.  Plus, though it is the same synod and there would be no problem there, I know I'd feel weird about baptizing my child at a church we aren't members of.  Or even one we just joined.  I'm sure they'd let him do it at our church, but it probably would be after the service, which is ok by me.


I forget, LeAnn, why do you need to confirm the sex?  Was baby shy and they weren't sure?  I know I especially shouldn't complain when I compare my life to having to move around all the time.  Good luck with all the details!  That's got to make you pretty flexible.


My daughter is in a real defiant phase too.  I don't want to be angry but man she can really frustrate me.  I find it hard to keep my patience and remember she's pretty much still a baby and testing her world.  And I'm about to turn it upside down, the least I can do is be understanding seeing as how I'm the adult.

post #6 of 70

May has been a rough month.  We flew out to my husband's home state to see my FIL.  DH has declared that it was the worse week of his life.  It is so difficult to see someone that you've always thought of as so strong and independent in a state of helplessness.  Then, the universe decided to kick DH when he is down and my MIL is diagnosed with breast cancer.  She was diagnosed and had a lumpectomy while we were there.  We flew back because I had another fetal echocardiogram.  Unfortunately, DH cannot be in two places at once.  Even though I, to be perfectly honest, did not want him to stay and half to fly back alone, I told him he should stay if he felt he needed to.  He just had the feeling that he wanted to come back with me.  We came back, had the fetal echo (everything is fine) and my Mom flew in for a short visit.  DH had to fly back because it really seemed like FIL wouldn't make it through the weekend.  He got his ticket but, sadly, FIL passed away the night before DH's flight.  DH is with his family now.  I am still at home.  I feel like I should be with him but the consensus seems to be that I should stay put.  My #1 priority was the baby anyway but now it feels like if anything should happen to her the whole world would collapse for DH.  My mom left for the airport this morning (there was some drama about whether or not she could change her ticket and stay for a little while longer...)  I kept having to reassure her that I'll be okay by myself.  People don't mean to make me feel incompetent but I guess there are extenuating circumstances going on here.  I do not know when DH will return, though.  I wish I knew that much.  Anyway, my only job is to not stress myself out.  Ha ha.


I'm starting to feel big and like I'm walking funny - yes, like I'm starting to waddle.  I've been getting heartburn/reflux, congestion, nose bleeds - fun stuff.  I've been tired lately and I've started to take long afternoon naps.  If I eat enough, drink enough water and sleep enough I'm okay.  My hemoglobin count was really low earlier this month so I've been super supplementing iron (I have a cream I get from a compounding pharmacy) and I've been feeling better anemia-wise.  She's been moving a lot which is a treat.  I can't really feel alone when she's kicking me.


Sorry for lack of personal responses.

post #7 of 70

Been dealing with a lot of pain and vision issues and had bright red spotting over the weekend, I am 30 or 31 weeks.  It has not yet been determined what is going on, but the important thing is baby is OK luxlove.gif  

Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 5/21/12 at 11:47am
post #8 of 70

Aww, mamas. Thinking of you all and your loved ones. grouphug.gif

 keuriweo sorry about all the bad news and your father in law. I hope your dh has some good healing time with your family. 

Ninetales, I can totally understand why that would be hard for you. 2 hours from being close your entire dd's life is a big deal.  I also understand the frustration with dd.

LeAnn: Vintage sounds charming, glad your trip went well! Life is just a never ending surprise (be it good or bad) isn't it. I feel so disheartened with the many stories, and personal experiences with cancer. My mom is struggling immensely right now because it is her 2nd friend in 5 years to lose the battle with cancer. Come on, they are in their late 50's early 60's. Anyways, my heart just aches thinking about life's struggles. It can be so hard.

Kristy I have had baby brain too. I  can barely remember anything. But the worst is when I have to ask my gf 100x when she is moving away. I feel like I need to tattoo it to my body so that I don't forget. It's awful. 

Sol y Paz what is going on mama? Yes, definite good news that baby is okay. I hope you are too!


AFM I have been so emotional lately. It is really taking a toll on my happiness. My midwives have moved up our appt.s from once a month to twice already because they feel I need more support. Which rocks. We just found out our insurance will not reimburse for the homebirth. So disappointing and sad, especially since I was told otherwise. 

Feelings of anxiety are beginning to arise about the birth. Things I hated about my last keep creeping up and shaking my nerves. Trying to hard to focus on the good.

Feeling good, lots of movement from baby. Crazy dreams. Not a whole lot of heartburn yet (praise the lord), and just trying to keep myself in check with my sweet cravings. Oh, and I need to start excersing more. I have been one lazy/sleepy mama this go round. 

post #9 of 70
Thread Starter 

I am so sorry to hear everyone is having a really hard week already.. and it doesn't help I am coming to add to the mix... gloomy.gif



My DH has the pregnancy brain this pregnancy- I literally think there are days he would lose his head if it was not connected. He is mentally somewhere else and is not able to do even the simplest things some days.. today he offered to drive me (we have a friends car) to go pick up DS from daycare- when we got in the car the trip should be under 10 mins but he decided to go a different route to the opposite side of town and it took us 30 mins to get there...it was like he decided to drive to the furthest point from the preschool then u-turn and go back. .  its really getting annoying he is so spacey.


My uncle passed away today- he has been in the ICU for almost 2 months, but today he finally died.


DS1 is in a total phase of utter defiance as well (is it in the air). Its utterly exhausting because he just is horrible to be around and anything I try to do to please him just makes him more angry or yell more.. I am so worn out, I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with a troll sometimes.. huh.gif


My anxiety has been so bad this week there are times I feel like I cannot breathe and I shake from it,, its been horrible.

post #10 of 70

Blah, I'm sorry so many of us are having tough times! Add me to the list... We got a blood pressure monitor at work today (part of a wellness initiative) and my BP was high the first time I took it... standing up (not how it should be done). It was lower an hour later, and well within normal right before I left work (both sitting down), but it still made me feel anxious. And I had a little spotting - first time it's happened unrelated to having a bowel movement, so that just added to the anxiety. I feel much better now that I'm at home with my feet up and the baby's been doing some fun movements. But I'm still just feeling scared that I'm going to end up with pre-eclampsia and that I will have to deliver really early, or that something really terrible will happen with my placenta. Even feeling the baby move makes me feel kinda sad and anxious at times, because I worry that he's in distress or that any movement could be the last one I'll feel. I have an appointment on Wednesday morning and hopefully it will be reassuring. 

post #11 of 70

J is going to a wedding at the end of June, when I'll be about 35 weeks.  It really sucks but I decided not to go.  It's too close for my comfort, plus the idea of a ten hour drive kind of makes me want to die inside.  It's so hard to listen to him make his plans though.  He's going to be gone like ten days, which...we really hadn't discussed before.  It makes me a bit resentful but on the other hand sometimes things are just easier when he's not here. 


I hate listening to all the fun plans he's making but I know that even if I went, it wouldn't be fun for *me*.  I wouldn't feel included, no one else has kids, and during the wedding I'd be handling Elsa all alone.  It will just be better to be home.

post #12 of 70

Waiting for the GD 1 hour results this week, it's making me really nervous.


I have a weird question, I'm 28 weeks. It's 106 degrees here, ugh (didn't leave the house today). When will I start to get really uncomfortable? I thought it would be something that would magically happen third trimester but now I'm thinking it's maybe more around 34/35 weeks? I still sleep pretty well most nights and am pretty okay moving around.


Leann, good luck finding out the sex! We had quite a wait. One other thing you might look into that people told me about was colleges that train ultrasound techs offering free scans to pregnant women for the practice. My doc "let" me have another one because I was measuring a little big by fundal height, I think she knew it wasn't really a big deal but I just wanted to know. Why couldn't they find out at your 20 week? What's your instinct? I was right all along!

post #13 of 70
Originally Posted by bootsvalentine View Post

Waiting for the GD 1 hour results this week, it's making me really nervous.


I have a weird question, I'm 28 weeks. It's 106 degrees here, ugh (didn't leave the house today). When will I start to get really uncomfortable? I thought it would be something that would magically happen third trimester but now I'm thinking it's maybe more around 34/35 weeks? I still sleep pretty well most nights and am pretty okay moving around.


It totally depends on the person...and it can happen overnight. I find that I have awesome days and not-so-awesome days at 28 weeks. Some days I have a ton of energy and other days I'm absolutely exhausted. It all depends on how well I slept the night before, honestly. I've been getting to bed around 9-10 and not waking up to pee until around 4:00-4:30am, which is pretty good. Some nights I can go right back to sleep and other nights I'm lying awake for an hour, thinking about all of the stuff I need to do the next day (which I promptly forget as soon as I wake up). 


I can't remember when I got really uncomfortable with my son's pregnancy. I had really bad heartburn that time (and this time as well), but I don't remember feeling really ready to get the baby out until 37 or 38 weeks (mainly because I had pre-e). If you're dealing with pitting edema or swollen limbs, that can sometimes make you more uncomfortable, but like I said before, it all depends on the person. Some women feel awesome up until the last week!

post #14 of 70

boots, you might never feel icky! I didn't with my last until the very end. I had heartburn, but that was about my only complaint outside of my 40+ weight gain!


eleuthia: hope the spotting subsides, I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed. 


ithappened thinking of you. anxiety can be such a criminal to our well being. sorry about your uncle too. 

post #15 of 70

Wow, a tough start of the week all around. Hope everyone week gets a little better soon!  You can add me to the miserable start of a week, which I detailed in the Depression and Anxiety thread, and will spare you all rehashing.  In better news, my doctor's appointment today went well.  The heart beat sounded great, and it was reassuring to hear the doctor say that my weight looked fine (but thankfully didn't tell me what it was as I always request), since the whole weight issue has been causing me a fair amount of stress, particularly since the nurse accidentally told me my weight two appointments ago and I freaked out about it. 


I also think I finally decided today that unlike last time I would take advantage of California's excellent benefits, and stop work at 36 weeks, at which point I can automatically get disability pay. Two months more of crazy work seems so much more manageable than 3.  And I really do want to have a little one-on-one time to spend with my daughter before the baby comes.


Boots, with my first I had a fairly easy time until about 36 weeks, the I got miserably uncomfortable. Of course, I also didn't have hot weather to contend with. 

post #16 of 70

Ninetales, that IS sad that they are moving.  Can he not baptize the new baby at the new church? I'm sorry!!!  I feel the same way about my MIL and FIL.  When they moved (because the rest of us had either moved or were talking about it) I cried.  They asked me repeatedly if it was okay and I was okay with it because I understood. But taht didnt keep me from being sad.


LeAnn, the toys sound amazing.  What a blessing!!!


Sol Y Paz, I had some bleeding a week or two ago too. Can be scary. I'm glad things are fine.


Elethia, I'm feeling the same about the preeclampsia.  Have you had it before?  Forgive me if I've asked and you answered.  My BP is just creeping up.  NO other Pre e signs, but that's enough.  What are we 30 weeks?  The baby would certainly live...and they might even let me birth vaginally, but you KNOW it would be in the NICU for a while.  I just want my body to cooperate with me! 


I have a mycoplasm, which is essentially walking pnuemonia. I'm as sick as I've ever been and can't seem to kick it.  Went to the clinic yesterday for antiobiotics.  Hope they start to work soon.  I did LOVE the clinic though! 

post #17 of 70
Thread Starter 

boots I had DS1 at 42w and was more or less comfortable the entire pregnancy.. with this one I have good days and really horrible days but not constantly one or the other..

Elethia Im scared about pre-e too.. last time I was at the Dr my bp was almost 140 over 80 or something.. really makes me nervous. . Im 30/31w but still.


rebecca yah! for time off!! two months paid/off right now sounds amazing, I would take it :)




The news for my uncles funeral and such are coming in, really sad I won't be able to make it due to my pregnancy.. for some reason this twin pregnancy makes me really nervous to fly international at 32/33 weeks alone on a flight for 10-14 hours solo, esp when I am already having a lot of BHs, swelling etc without flying.. I wish I could be there, if only to surround and be surrounded by my family. . .

post #18 of 70

I'm so sorry everyone is having such a crappy week.


ithappened, I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle and so sorry too you can't go be with your family during this time.  I spent 7 months abroad in college and being away from my family then was torture, so I can really only sort of imagine how you're feeling.  I hope you can talk or Skype with family lots in the next few weeks to help you get through this.


Ninetales, that really sucks about your in-laws moving away.  Having family close is so important, and you're right that two-hour drive, even though still doable regularly, will change things.  I hope you get the baptism you were hoping for and that your family makes it through this tough transition well.


KristyD, I hear you on the pregnancy brain.  I mistook one student for another yesterday and we had a long convoluted conversation about which final he was taking before I finally figured it out.  I was so embarrassed.  And the student I mistook him for is one of my best students and one I've had in multiple classes, so there was really no excuse.  I hope the toddler defiance wanes and you can get some peace for these last few months of pregnancy.  Also, glad you're switching practices after that ridiculous video.  Have you found a new practice you like?


keuriweo, sorry to hear about your FIL and the generally tough time you're going through.  I've also been starting to take lots of afternoon naps. If I do that I find I'm not completely exhausted by 9:30 pm.  If I don't get a nap, I want to cry by 9:00. 


Dovemama, sorry to hear about the homebirth.  Are you going ahead with it anyway?  I'm at the stage where I want everything set in stone and we still have so much to do.  It's got to be hard to have to change paths at this point.  Hopefully you can figure out a way to afford a home birth.  Is a possible transfer the sticking point or is it the cost of the tub and so on?


eleuthia, sorry to hear you on the high bp.  I had a high reading in the second tri (high for me, at least) and since then it's been totally normal, so try not to let it worry you.  I hope your appointment goes well and you get some reassurance.  


Boots, good luck on the GD test!  I got mine back last week and before that I was so nervous... I've basically been a refined sugar machine for the last three months, so I figured I had given myself GD by eating cookies every day.  We don't have a family history though, so I probably shouldn't have worried quite so much.  I know you have some risk factors, so I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for you.


Rebecca, I hear you on the writing anxiety.  I have two months to finish a chapter of my book and finalize and copy edit five chapters and clean up citations.  Just thinking about it gives me a horrible knot in my stomach, so I've been avoiding thinking about it.  I hope your brief got written and that you cleared things up with DH.  I'm also just sorry you're dealing with all this anxiety during what should be a wonderful time.  I'm lucky that I don't have firm deadlines, although that makes it harder in some ways as well.


intime, I hope you're feeling better soon!  That sounds horrible.  Ugh.


AFM, the week started off not good with concerns about fetal movement, but after the non-stress test yesterday, I've been floating.  I'm giving a final today, I get another set turned in tomorrow, and after grading, final committee meetings, my tenure-review packet, and graduation on Friday and Saturday, I'm done with the school year.  I'm excited that the house is coming together (DH finished installing the last of the hardwood floors and will finish and sand them this weekend) and I can't wait to get all the extraneous furniture out of the nursery so I can start nesting.  I am also excited to use what tiny amount of brain power I have left to finish this book and get it out of my hair so I can cuddle this newborn and not have to worry about dead philosophers for a few months.  So, while this week itself is going to be crazy and annoying, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm pretty excited to start enjoying my summer.

post #19 of 70

Boots & Ninetales - Our anatomy scan was 'inconclusive' (i.e. last appt before the holiday weekend). I'm REALLY hoping that they will just take a quick look. There is an US machine in the room, so I don't think it should be a big deal. Fingers crossed! My intuition is that we're having a girl and that was the guess at our anatomy scan, too. I just want to take another look now that it should be more obvious. Idk why but not really knowing is just driving me crazy! Boots, I'll keep your school suggestion in mind if they decide to be sticklers. Thanks for the suggestion!


I'm sorry that the week has gotten off to a rough start for so many. Love to you and your families! Sol, so good that baby is doing well. I hope you're able to figure out what is causing the problem soon. K, I'm sorry your DH is having to deal w so much sadness. I hope he will be able to be home w you soon. Ithappened, I'm sorry you can't be with your family. I know its hard to be far away, esp during such a tough time. It does sound like your DH has a case of pregnancy brain. I can sympathize, my DH isn't so much spacey as just distracted. His training is consuming so much of his focus that I'm really feeling alone in this pregnancy and I'm starting to worry about what kind of partner he will be during this delivery/post partum. I feel like I can't compete w the pace and intensity that he is so drawn to and its only going to increase as he gets started in his work. I'm trying not to let myself worry too much. I hope you're able to get a few peaceful moments and relieve some of the anxiety your feeling.

post #20 of 70

So much going on here, ladies, and I'm sorry that more of it isn't better.


Ninetales, it sounds like it will be a tough adjustment with your in laws suddenly so far away. One of the reasons we waited so long for children was because we are so far from family and wanted work to be a little more secure, but in the end you figure things out. Strength to you.


KristyDi, sorry that you have to change your practice, but it sounds like they need to put much more thought into the videos they show to their clients. I hope the new practice suits you better.


LeAnn, great to hear that the trip went so well and I hope the home assignment turns out really well for you. You'll get through it! Those vintage toys sound so cool.


Keuriweo, I am sorry for the loss and illness in your dh's family. Strength to you both. It's good that you know what makes you feel better; keep taking care of yourself. hug.gif


Sol_y_Paz hug2.gif I hope that the bleeding and other symptoms are minor blips and you and baby are doing really well.


Dovemama, what great midwives you have! I am sorry to hear about the home birth, do the midwives have a birthing center that is covered?


Ithappened, sorry about your uncle--that is so hard. My dad lost his little brother a few years ago and I feel terrible that I didn't go, especially in situations when you just want to be around family. hug2.gif


Boots, it's not quite as hot here, but I'm wondering the same thing. I find that a walk early in the morning and working with  my feet up during the day helps.


Rebecca, congrats on your decision about work!


Intime0, hope you get well soon.


Wow, LilyTiger, you mention the tenure package like it's nothing!? Congratulations, you must be in good shape if it's just an afterthought. So glad that the NST went well--I am in for those in the final weeks of pregnancy because of my AMA...


AFM, headed out in a few moments for my 28 w appointment and lab results (gd, iron and blood count). I'm thinking everything is fine since the tests were 2w ago and I haven't heard anything. I am feeling really fortunate that my brain and body are working fine now--I have so much work to do on a few independent projects before baby arrives and need to be thinking clearly. I've been trying to walk daily and so far, so good, with most days getting between 3-4 mi, while some days getting near 7 miles (when dh wants to go for a walk at the end of the day). We were really fortunate to get a ton of baby stuff from a colleague going on leave for a year, including more clothes than we could ever buy and 4 different baby carriers (and that's just so far...I haven't opened all the boxes yet). The shower at dh's work is this week--so exciting! Looks like few people are buying from the registry, though.


Hope the week gets much better for all of you.

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