My sister can't stop drinking and DHS placed her children with her ex about 6 months ago. Two months ago she was downgraded to 'supervised visits only' and now, as of last week, her ex cannot stop drinking either and the children are going into foster care. DHS called my mother to see if there could be a chance for kinship placement.
The girls I am thinking about taking are 10 an 7 and have had some trauma (the oldest has become 'mama' and has to monitor and report her parents drinking and actions to the ad lideum and eventually the police.)
My husband is 100 percent on board and I feel like we could do this but I'm worried about my 3-year old. She has had a full-time mom for her whole life and my attention will all-of-a-sudden need to be divided. Also, the older girls will need me to go to all sorts of meetings with counselors and DHS people, so I will have to leave my daughter with caregivers more, which she has been OK with so far but it's been rare. My mother, best friend and husband are all wonderful with her and she loves to spend time with them, but will she love it if it becomes a few times a week?
I know that conventional wisdom says not to foster kids older than your own, but this just kind of fell into my lap. DH and I have talked before (when DHS started to get involved with my sister) about what we could do if it ever came to this but we hadn't talked about the effect on our own daughter. For safety, I won't leave the girls alone with my DD, they won't be able to babysit or anything but I'm worried that they could somehow hurt her while I am right there. They aren't violent or anything but what if their language or attitude somehow hurts DD?
Any info or experience would be helpful. Thanks.