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Vaccination Forum Guidelines Reminder and Discussion - Page 9

post #161 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbyGrant View Post

 

To my knowledge (which I'll admit is not extensive) what they are doing at TWWS as far as MDC goes is not much different than me talking about stuff I've read on MDC to my husband. Of course I don't cut and paste and no one can log in to see what I've said, but it's pretty much the same thing...

 

 

 

No…it's like going to a meeting, discussing ideas with people at that meeting, and then some of those people going to another meeting and dissing the people in the first meeting and their ideas.  This goes on entirely behind peoples backs, and over and over.  

 

The bolded is also very relevant.  The snarking is posted on a public forum, which many posters (even up to today) were unaware existed.  You want to complain about me to your hubby , friend or even in a pm (as long as it does not morph into a smear campaign)  - go for it.  That is private.  Posting crap about people on a public board (while simultaneously holding a conversation the person assumes to be in good faith here) crosses a line.  

 

If you think that is ok there is not much more I can say.


Edited by purslaine - 5/23/12 at 7:44pm
post #162 of 333

This just seems pretty junior high to me. Yes, people are talking behind people's backs.  That has nothing to do with what goes on on this forum which is supposed to be about facts and research and science and stuff.  Whether people talk crap behind people's backs is irrelevant.

post #163 of 333

L


Edited by member234098 - 6/5/12 at 7:11am
post #164 of 333

WTH?

post #165 of 333

nm

post #166 of 333

What's your point with posting that article? 
 

post #167 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbyGrant View Post

What's your point with posting that article? 
 

If you are talking to me I changed my mind and edited it. 

post #168 of 333

There is a point there. There have been a lot of cases with people trying to sue message boards.  There are very few instances where we as owners/operators can be held liable.  Public internet forums are public. People can take your words and discuss them, tear them apart and do whatever. does it suck? oh yeah.  Can it be hurtful? Most definitely.  Can we do anything to stop it? No.

 

You each have to work out your comfort level with knowing that people are looking at what you post and might have editorial comments to share behind your back.  No one can decide that for you. 

 

Let's be utterly blunt here: If you think that TWWS is the only, or the first, or the worst forum to do this here at MDC - you are wrong.  We have had many multiple forums decide that some facet of Mothering was whackadoo and decide to copy and paste discussion, stage "invasions" to tell us how wrong we are, post blogs ripping MDC members apart, etc., etc.  Honestly, this is part and parcel with posting on the internet.  It happens.  And now we need to move this discussion on.  

 

This discussion is about what is happening *HERE* on MDC, and how we are going to reach some sort of consensus HERE on the Vax forums and stop the snarky fighting amongst our members in THESE forums.  Not about what other people are doing on other boards with their own free time.  

 

Let's move it back on topic please. 

post #169 of 333

You know I stayed away from this discussion for one reason and one reason only.  It's really obvious that trying to work this out is not going to go well at all.

 

What I have seen

 

Finger pointing

Skirting responsibility

Beating dead horses... at least three and maybe even a tiny pony

Hurt feelings

 

 

Why?  Why can't we just agree to be respectful of each other from this point forward?  Will someone post after me and say but Ima you're an azz because?

 

As soon as discussion start going towards you're an idiot and here's why, I stop reading and I leave the forums.  It's been really negative around here and I've been doing other things like reading the bible so I can figure out if Jesus wants me to wear sandals to work. And frequenting one Conspiracy forum (very funny) and one other that shall not benamed. 

 

I like good discussions, not flaming fights that would erupt at my loco cousins family dinner with too much cervezas and a pinata! 

 

 

 

Now, I think the Research forum would be better if we put up links as we are doing and discuss that link and it's information only.  That way people could go through that one line of information with or without refuting information (no personal stories) and not get overwhelmed with off topic anger and accusations. 

 

Carry on

post #170 of 333
How do we realistically move forward here, when some of those in this particular discussion are calling us a$$es, loonies, and worse on another forum? It's not "other people" doing that on other forums, it's our own MDC members supposedly posting helpful, supportive messages here, and then being downright vicious over there, even calling for dog piling over here. If we know who they are (and we do) and what they are doing over there, that certainly affects their credibility here.

AdinaL, I assume you know what I'm talking about, or do I need to post screenshots?
post #171 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taximom5 View Post

How do we realistically move forward here, when some of those in this particular discussion are calling us a$$es, loonies, and worse on another forum? It's not "other people" doing that on other forums, it's our own MDC members supposedly posting helpful, supportive messages here, and then being downright vicious over there, even calling for dog piling over here. If we know who they are (and we do) and what they are doing over there, that certainly affects their credibility here.
AdinaL, I assume you know what I'm talking about, or do I need to post screenshots?

 

 

Did you read the thread?  Adina Knows this.  She's even brought up that there are other forums and blogs that do it too.  Let's just say a certain Dr. Has done more damage than some ladies with spoons ever could.

 

And you obviously didn't read what I said... We need to get the heck over it and move on.  Or leave.  Or whine.  Or have PM wars... you know my inbox is always open.

 

But this thread is about how to go about effectively using the Researching thread without it turning into a childish mess.

post #172 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taximom5 View Post

How do we realistically move forward here, when some of those in this particular discussion are calling us a$$es, loonies, and worse on another forum? It's not "other people" doing that on other forums, it's our own MDC members supposedly posting helpful, supportive messages here, and then being downright vicious over there, even calling for dog piling over here. If we know who they are (and we do) and what they are doing over there, that certainly affects their credibility here.

AdinaL, I assume you know what I'm talking about, or do I need to post screenshots?

 

Should I post screenshots of YOUR posts? You call us all trolls, even posted "proof" that we're trolls, and then said that we couldn't possible actually be parents because we believe in vaccine safety? You are one of the worst offenders on this board. If you don't see that, then I don't know what to tell you.

post #173 of 333

Here's what it comes down to.  As moderators, we only deal with this board.  We are not moderators of the whole web.  It's up to you to decide what you are willing to put out there.  If you are uncomfortable with the risk you take when you put yourself out there, then don't.  I understand that.  As a moderator, trust me, I've been there.  But it's kind of like working with people you don't get along with.  You're pollite and respectful, and you don't go to their house to visit.  That's all that can be done.

post #174 of 333

I think there is nothing wrong with calling a truce and moving forward.  And it can be done.  If we just do it. 

post #175 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdinaL View Post

 

You each have to work out your comfort level with knowing that people are looking at what you post and might have editorial comments to share behind your back.  No one can decide that for you. 

 

That is what it comes down to.

 

Let's be utterly blunt here: If you think that TWWS is the only, or the first, or the worst forum to do this here at MDC - you are wrong.  We have had many multiple forums decide that some facet of Mothering was whackadoo and decide to copy and paste discussion, stage "invasions" to tell us how wrong we are, post blogs ripping MDC members apart, etc., etc.  Honestly, this is part and parcel with posting on the internet.  It happens.  And now we need to move this discussion on.  

 

I think it is the fact that it is coming from people who also post here, while writing catty things behind your back.  It is as Taxi said below.  I find it less heinous when a non-member simply cut and pastes and mocks.  I do not have any relationship with them, and they have no potential to affect the tone of the board. 

 

Also….

 

I am a little ticked at MDC for not telling members places such as TWWS exist and what they do.  It might be a good thing to put in your new user section.  I went around here for years without knowing TWWS and other different types of snark sites existed.  People should know so they can decide if they are comfortable posting.  You could argue that I should have known  (and if that is the case I am in excellent company - I am sure you've seen the length of the TWWS thread on TAO) but assuming I knew or deciding posters were not worth telling shake.gif. I do not think admin did anything illegal, but it would have been a nice gesture to let posters know this kind of crap went on.  People have a right to know under which conditions they are posting.

 

 

Let's move it back on topic please. 

 

Sure - although there is not much to discuss, lol.  Do not call names and do not imply things.  Mods, IMHO, should remove posts or ask people to edit when name calling happens. Do it a lot and you should have your posting privileges removed.  Implying things is a little trickier.  (and somewhat subjective).  I am not sure mods should step in over implying things unless it is pretty severe.  That being said, just because you do not deserve a mod-slap does not mean it contributes to the good tone of board.  Pick your words carefully.   Ask for clarification before jumping to conclusions (it also gives the other person a chance to back down a bit before a flame fest happens).  Use "I" statements - "I think it works this way…" instead of  "you do not understand x,y or z".  

 

Did I miss anything or say anything you disagree in the above paragraph?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Taximom5 View Post

How do we realistically move forward here, when some of those in this particular discussion are calling us a$$es, loonies, and worse on another forum? It's not "other people" doing that on other forums, it's our own MDC members supposedly posting helpful, supportive messages here, and then being downright vicious over there, even calling for dog piling over here. If we know who they are (and we do) and what they are doing over there, that certainly affects their credibility here.
AdinaL, I assume you know what I'm talking about, or do I need to post screenshots?
post #176 of 333

Well Kathy, what would you really like done about it all?  Would you like all users who frequent other forums  (lets not pretend TWWS is the only and the worst) to no longer post here?  Or read here?  Should we have a mums the word when it comes to talking to spouses and friends about what we read and post here? 

 

I get that you're upset, but when is enough enough?

post #177 of 333

...so NO name calling (here), and let's discuss what to do with Research subforum....

 

if anyone wants to pm me with the other forums that include half of the members here copying/pasting and mocking, I would be more than interested...

post #178 of 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

I went around here for years without knowing TWWS and other different types of snark sites existed.  People should know so they can decide if they are comfortable posting.  You could argue that I should have known  (and if that is the case I am in excellent company - I am sure you've seen the length of the TWWS thread on TAO) but assuming I knew or deciding posters were not worth telling shake.gif.

 

Kathy, I wasn't even that active of a member when my daughter as a little, and I knew about TWWS way back then from learning about it on MDC. While there is no advisory about it, it's not like the information has been suppressed.  I'm not saying you knew back then too, but from what I gather, you've know about it for quite some time. If you felt strongly about people knowing, why wait till now to bring it up?  Why not PM people or bring it up sooner. This kind of reminds me of when I bring something up with my husband I'm irritated about at the moment and turns the conversation around about something I did like three weeks ago so we don't have to talk about the subject at hand.

post #179 of 333

I don't expect anything.

 

In a dream world I would like people to admit talking cr@p behind others back on a public forum is pretty scuzzy- but that is not going to happen.  I'm not sure I would believe them, anyways.  

 

I have known this is going on for a year.  For the most part, it does not affect how I post, or what I have to say.  I post in the way I see fit and that does not change because someone is acting snotty behind my back.  It only affects things when the arguing and tone is out of control.  It is hard to assume good intent from someone you know is talking smack on another public forum behind your back.  

 

Over and out…and really, I am willing to move on from the TWWS line of discussion, but only if other people do not keep bringing it up winky.gif


Edited by purslaine - 5/24/12 at 7:47am
post #180 of 333

So back to how we can figure out how to be respectful when discussing the Research issue...

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