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"Overdue" hbac, feeling the heat... - Page 2

post #21 of 22

I feel so sorry to hear how things went down - HUGS mama!!!

 

I often stick my neck out there and tell ladies they don't need an induction/RCS at 42 weeks or even at 43 if they and baby are healthy, etc etc etc....

 

But you know what?!? My husband's a nurse - that basically means that if my midwives by some misfortune decided to pressure me before 43 weeks for real action to get baby out, my husband could pull MAJOR strings to make sure that I'd get a VBAC induction at that date, or - once I went into spontaneous labor - I would get my VBAC at his hospital. They'd MAKE SURE they did everything in their power to help me (although I'm planning an HBAC too).

 

So I don't envy the position you were in - that is very, very hard.  Not many women want to go through labor without their partner present; no mom wants to look back and wonder 'what if I'd just had the RCS - would baby be okay?!?'. So it was a very hard decision, and you have to give yourself some credit for that. You were trying to do the best for your baby; as a mom, there's no shame in that.

 

I write this because I want to stress that it's wayyyy easier to buck the medical system when you have good cards in your hand - I have my husband's connections as a nurse, the fact that everyone loves him, and the fact that I'm in Canada and we're pretty vbac friendly down here. But when I hear the hospital systems women have to deal with sometimes - like the situations you described - I don't judge. You really, REALLY had it hard.

 

Women were NOT meant to birth in all that negative energy! Hospitals aren't like they were in my mom's time - it just seems like many hospitals don't respect women's choice anymore.

 

And THAT is NOT your fault! So don't beat yourself up for making your decision under some of the most difficult circumstances. As an outsider looking in, you REALLY had it hard!!!

post #22 of 22

I'm sorry to hear that your birth did not go how you had planned. I hope you find peace and healing in the days and months ahead.  Congratulations on the safe arrival of your healthy baby boy!  Every baby is a miracle--regardless of how they enter the world.

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