Ideas for a good routine?

[Zenmama1]

Hi

I'm hoping some SAHPs can give me a little advice. I am feeling really confused about how to juggle all the responsibilities of a SAHM. I can't seem to find a routine that works for us. And I don't know if its because I'm just not good with schedules and routines, or if its because having a routine with a 15 mo old is an unrealistic goal. So I guess what I want to know is how do you do it all? What does your week look like? When do you: do laundry, shower & get dressed, cook dinner, clean the house, play with the baby, run errands, take the baby on a play date, spend time with your spouse, get time to yourself?

It seems like on the days when I get us out of the house to go on a playdate I can accomplish nothing else. And if I dint go anywhere I can accomplish tons, but get stir crazy. So I'm just looking for ideas.

Thanks!

[Emaye]

Honestly? It is tough. However, one of the key things that helped was ensuring that my kids learned to entertain themselves. I encouraged them to do things on their own so that when the got a bit older, they could continue instead of needing me to be right beside them every single minute. So like, when my kid was around 15 months, I remember setting him up on a mat close to me and letting him play with some chosen toys. When he got bored with those, I went and got him a different one. I also hid toys so that they feel like a brand new experience when they are reintroduced. I rotated week to week and exchanged with friends (temporarily) instead of buying too much stuff.  My kids both also loved to play with pots and pans.  They liked to make food (stir stuff into their pot) while I cooked. The enjoyed sweeping and moping (when they got older but were still young enough to think it was fun). 

It was great because my kids still entertain themselves very well when they are at home with me now. 

[kanani]

I only have one little one (10mo) - but here's how we set up our days (our good days, at least):

morning: my dh takes dd first thing in the morning so i can get dressed and ready for the day. i clean the house with her in the carrier every morning for about an hour, or until she drifts off for her first nap (usually 2hrs or so after she wakes up). i don't have set chores assigned to a day -- i just tackle whatever is bothering me. every other day or so, i will start a load of laundry. if i'm feeling particularly ambitious, i'll also start doing some dinner prep during this block of time. if dd is resisting sleep, usually some vacuuming will put her out. with the exception of quickly picking up toys throughout the day, i try not to think anymore about house cleaning after dd's morning nap... if i don't get to it, it can wait until the next morning. since dd only naps while being worn or otherwise snuggled, i keep her in the carrier and sit down at the computer and get all of my email done, etc. while she rests/nurses.

afternoon: after the nap, we go through dd's self-care routine (change clothes, brush hair, etc). we play for a little while. maybe i'll try to do yoga while she's playing. (maybe.) then we have a snack. for a big chunk of the afternoon, we will either go on a playdate, do errands/grocery shopping/etc., go to the library or hang out in the garden -- something outside of the house so we don't go stir crazy. usually, this wears dd out and by the time we get home, she's ready for her second nap. i usually lay down with her on a floor bed so she can nurse to sleep. during nap number two, i will read or do something quiet to recharge. its my "me time" so if she skips it for any reason, i'm usually pretty frazzled by the end of the day.

evening: after the second nap, we play for a little while again. then i give her a snack while i try to prep dinner. when my dh gets home, we eat and often they hang out together for a bit and play. if i'm going to do anything that requires BOTH my hands AND my brain (like work on an art project or something) its during this time when dh is home. when its getting close to bed time, i take a shower and usually dh hands dd to me for a quick shower too so we can get her washed. then, either i nurse her to sleep upstairs while dh finishes cleaning up any of the left over dinner messes, or i cleanup and dh takes her for a walk around the neighborhood in the carrier until she falls asleep.

it doesn't always go smoothly, and it seems like every couple of months we have to switch up our activities. but the rhythm is mostly the same. hope that helps.

[newmamalizzy]

You're right about the trade-offs.  I feel like every few weeks I switch focus in that respect, so somehow everything that REALLY needs to happen, happens.  I do have certain core activities that are planned into our day, then big open spaces where things can shift around.  Goes something like this:

6:45 wake-up, morning bottle, a little focused time with my daughter (26 months) and then I get us both dressed, hair brushed, etc.  She has her 1/2 hour TV time while I put in a load of laundry, put away some dishes, and make breakfast.  We eat, then I clean up the breakfast stuff, and we (potentially) get ready to leave the house.  This part of the day takes us until about 9:30. 

9:30 - 11:30 is a big open space.  We often hang a load of laundry outside and then just stay out and play, or take a walk to the playground if it's nice.  Sometimes we'll do the library or visit my parents.  Other times we just hang out at home and I get some cleaning done, interspersed with playing.  Vacuuming, dusting, changing the sheets on the beds...DD tolerates these chores best, so I plan them into our day instead of for time when she's sleeping. 

11:30 - 2:00 is down time.  I make lunch, we eat, then DD USED to have a nap :(  Nowadays I do something else to get a break, like taking her for a long walk in the stroller, reading and then giving her time to herself in her room, or just plopping myself on the couch with a book.  I also get the kitchen all cleaned up and the laundry folded and put away during this time. 

2:00 - 4:30 is another big open space, often devoted to either errands or a playdate.  On days where dinner needs a while to cook, we may stick around the house, but this is hard with a non-napping toddler.  I try to plan for either the morning or the afternoon to be away from home; sometimes both; rarely neither. 

4:30 starts the slow ride to bedtime.  I make dinner while DD turns the house into a disaster and whines at me.  This is my least favorite part of the day, for SURE.  We eat dinner at 5:15-ish, then move right on into the bedtime routine, and DD is usually asleep in her bed by 6:30 (the UP side of a non-napping toddler!) 

6:30 - 8-ish.  I pick up the house, shower, BF does the dinner dishes.  I think about what needs to happen tomorrow, and usually do at least 1 cleaning task that doesn't work well with a kid around.  Bathroom, or a quick mopping of the kitchen, maybe some advance food prep, filing, etc.  Then I'll transition to stuff that I "sort of" have to do, like uploading photos.  I usually veg from 8:30 - 10 or so, then head to bed. 

I think weekends are somehow even harder, because I feel like I should be able to get big things done, but I usually get less done than during the week.  In theory, there would be time for yard work, cleaning out the cars, organizing the attic.  We usually end up doing stuff as a family instead.  I DO always make the week's meal plan on Saturday and then shop on Sunday morning.  All by myself! 

Good luck.  It's not easy!  Just remember:  MID to LID!!!  (Um, most important detail to least important detail.) 

[LitMom]

It does get easier as they get older, just to give some hope!

I try to arrange the week's worth of household stuff into 1 room per day for bigger cleaning (Kitchen--Monday; Bathroom--Tuesday; Kids Bedroom/Toys--Wed; Master Bedroom--Thurs; Living Room--Friday) The kids have daily chores to do, as do I and DH, which keeps regular dishes, etc. under control generally. 

[Zenmama1]

Thanks for the ideas ladies. This is really helpful! Keep em coming! :)
 

[OkiMom]

I have 3 littles (5, 3 and 1) and Im 21 weeks pregnant with my 4th.. Our schedule varies by day at times and changes around when it needs to.. I can give  you a basic idea though:

4- I wake, nurse (if I have a nursling, right now my youngest only nurses at bed/nap times), work out.

5ish- shower, dress, read scriptures, plan day if needed

530-545, make breakfast, put in laundry if its a laundry day.. Hubby leaves around 545

6ish- Kids wake up and listen to scriptures if breakfast isn't ready...

anywhere between 6-630, breakfast, family scripture reading, discuss plans

7ish- daily chores, EVERYONE has chores.. Even my youngest can help rotate the laundry or put toys away.

730- study German, use to speak it but haven't in a LONG time, Im trying to refresh, or read a book for a bit

750ish- snack time, very important if I want to stay vertical all day.. I get dizzy spells if I go to long without eating

8ish- first homeschool time of the day

9ish- outside time (park, errands, library etc.) The time we get home depends on how the rest of the day flows.

If we get home at 10ish (so basically if we go to the park ) we do an activity together or the kids play while I check e-mail, go on Facebook, take a break from running around

1030ish- make lunch

1045ish- lunch time, sometimes we read from a chapter book

1100ish- one on one time with my baby, the middle and oldest play in the playroom

1130- one on one time with my middle, baby and oldest play in the playroom

1200- lay baby down for nap

1215- one on one time with oldest

1245- Quiet time for the kids, I sew and practice the keyboard

around 1330ish the baby is up, we have a snack and play outside some

1400- school time for the second time during the day

1500ish- I read aloud to the kids while they play or we play together.. Sometimes we do puzzles and board games during this time. All depends on what they want to do

1600- quick pick up around the house

1630- Start dinner, read aloud or do some table activity (painting, playdough, puzzles etc) while we are cooking

1730ish- Hubby comes home, we have dinner as a family

1800ish- One of us cleans up after dinner and the other one gets the kids ready for bed/teeth brushed etc

1815- family time

1915- family scripture reading, prayer and tuck in.

1930-kids in bed, couple time

2000- I read scriptures, write in my journal, brush my teeth and go to bed

If we get home later we do a condensed version of the schedule.. The important part is being flexible. We might not accomplish everything (that would take a miracle honestly!) but we try to go with it. Some days we do more than others I just changed our schedule actually since we live within walking distance of the library and can go a couple times a week now. My kids aren't in outside activities, other than church, because they have no desire to be in them. When they express a desire to do an outside activity we will work them in. I don't push the kids, I think most kids are over-scheduled.

As for cleaning.. Im working on it.. What seems to work for me now:

Monday: Laundry, recover from weekend, baking for the week (I bake almost all things from scratch), plan Family Home Evening for that night

Tuesday: Clean the kitchen and living room

Wednesday: Bedrooms and laundry

Thursdays: Bathrooms

Friday:Outside, pet upkeep (bathe dog, clean cat/dog ears, deal with flea protection if needed etc, clean animal bedding, litter box etc), laundry

Saturday: hubby's uniform/gear laundry, it doesn't get washed with the rest of our clothing since there are to many chemicals involved in his job. Hubby mows the yard and I clean the outside/inside of van if either is needed.

Activity wise: Library we go to on Tuesdays and Fridays, sometimes Wednesdays as well. Saturday we do "field trips" if we don't have things to do around the house. Sunday is the Lords Day, we go to church then sometimes we have other families over to our house (or we go to theirs).

[newmamalizzy]

Originally Posted by OkiMom 

I have 3 littles (5, 3 and 1) and Im 21 weeks pregnant with my 4th.. Our schedule varies by day at times and changes around when it needs to.. I can give  you a basic idea though:

4- I wake, nurse (if I have a nursling, right now my youngest only nurses at bed/nap times), work out.

5ish- shower, dress, read scriptures, plan day if needed

530-545, make breakfast, put in laundry if its a laundry day.. Hubby leaves around 545

6ish- Kids wake up and listen to scriptures if breakfast isn't ready...

anywhere between 6-630, breakfast, family scripture reading, discuss plans

7ish- daily chores, EVERYONE has chores.. Even my youngest can help rotate the laundry or put toys away.

730- study German, use to speak it but haven't in a LONG time, Im trying to refresh, or read a book for a bit

750ish- snack time, very important if I want to stay vertical all day.. I get dizzy spells if I go to long without eating

8ish- first homeschool time of the day

9ish- outside time (park, errands, library etc.) The time we get home depends on how the rest of the day flows.

If we get home at 10ish (so basically if we go to the park ) we do an activity together or the kids play while I check e-mail, go on Facebook, take a break from running around

1030ish- make lunch

1045ish- lunch time, sometimes we read from a chapter book

1100ish- one on one time with my baby, the middle and oldest play in the playroom

1130- one on one time with my middle, baby and oldest play in the playroom

1200- lay baby down for nap

1215- one on one time with oldest

1245- Quiet time for the kids, I sew and practice the keyboard

around 1330ish the baby is up, we have a snack and play outside some

1400- school time for the second time during the day

1500ish- I read aloud to the kids while they play or we play together.. Sometimes we do puzzles and board games during this time. All depends on what they want to do

1600- quick pick up around the house

1630- Start dinner, read aloud or do some table activity (painting, playdough, puzzles etc) while we are cooking

1730ish- Hubby comes home, we have dinner as a family

1800ish- One of us cleans up after dinner and the other one gets the kids ready for bed/teeth brushed etc

1815- family time

1915- family scripture reading, prayer and tuck in.

1930-kids in bed, couple time

2000- I read scriptures, write in my journal, brush my teeth and go to bed

If we get home later we do a condensed version of the schedule.. The important part is being flexible. We might not accomplish everything (that would take a miracle honestly!) but we try to go with it. Some days we do more than others I just changed our schedule actually since we live within walking distance of the library and can go a couple times a week now. My kids aren't in outside activities, other than church, because they have no desire to be in them. When they express a desire to do an outside activity we will work them in. I don't push the kids, I think most kids are over-scheduled.

As for cleaning.. Im working on it.. What seems to work for me now:

Monday: Laundry, recover from weekend, baking for the week (I bake almost all things from scratch), plan Family Home Evening for that night

Tuesday: Clean the kitchen and living room

Wednesday: Bedrooms and laundry

Thursdays: Bathrooms

Friday:Outside, pet upkeep (bathe dog, clean cat/dog ears, deal with flea protection if needed etc, clean animal bedding, litter box etc), laundry

Saturday: hubby's uniform/gear laundry, it doesn't get washed with the rest of our clothing since there are to many chemicals involved in his job. Hubby mows the yard and I clean the outside/inside of van if either is needed.

Activity wise: Library we go to on Tuesdays and Fridays, sometimes Wednesdays as well. Saturday we do "field trips" if we don't have things to do around the house. Sunday is the Lords Day, we go to church then sometimes we have other families over to our house (or we go to theirs).

OkiMom, you are amazing.  Seriously.

[quantumleap]

Over the past few years, I've figured out a flow that works for us. I'm sure you'll settle in to one too. (It didn't take anywhere near three years to figure out though, don't panic! ;) ) 

Our kids wake up sometime between 6 and 7am. Usually boy is up first, so I attempt to keep him still and quiet by nursing him as long as possible in order to stay horizontal. We get up and make breakfast, which usually requires doing some leftover dishes from the night before. I hate waking up to dishes, but I also hate doing them at night after making diner and the energy expenditure required at my low point for the bedtime routine. Kids snack on fruit and putter around while I make breakfast. After breakfast, we get ourselves presentable and most of the morning is spent on chores. It takes about 2 hours, mostly because the kids "help", or because I have someone on my back, or whatever. But, this is when floors get vacuumed (we have a dog, ugh), kitchen gets cleaned, beds made, laundry, etc, etc, and this is also when I tend to cook/bake. Thankfully, the kids like to be involved, so we'll make granola or muffins, or set grains or beans out to soak, bake bread, or whatever needs doing. By the time both the people and the house are presentable, we've had a morning snack and the toddler is ready for a nap. So, naptime. I really, really miss the days when this meant a solid stretch for me to read or call my sister or watch a show or something, but, alas, not everyone naps, so I'm still on duty. DD likes to do crafts and "school" with me when her brother is sleeping, so we often take advantage of this time to do things that he would see as an opportunity to act like Godzilla. We make and eat lunch and get ready to go out, and then when the baby wakes up, we usually head out the door. We go to friends' houses, the zoo or museum (we have memberships - total lifesavers), the park, the lake, the library, or even just into our backyard. This is our first summer in our house (we've always been in apartments), so we've been spending a lot of afternoons doing things like going out to buy or salvage materials to make a garden, or a swing for the apple tree, or making and filling a bird feeder (please note, if you make the soulemama branch birdfeeder, you should use a tree trunk sized limb so you don't have to refill the sucker twice a day, just fyi). I try to bike places, which adds time to our outings but also means I get my exercise in while living life instead of having to fit in a dedicated exercise time at some point. 

Anyway, OP, you sound a little like me in the needing to get OUT most days. So, just pick mornings or afternoons and make it work. Sometimes dinner isn't made when your partner gets home, but it's worth a little rushing to throw something together if you're otherwise feeling positive because you've gotten out of your four walls. My kids are NOT the independent play sort, but over time they have decided that some parallel play works, so getting chores done sorts itself out. Somehow. :)

[Zenmama1]

"So, just pick mornings or afternoons and make it work. Sometimes dinner isn't made when your partner gets home, but it's worth a little rushing to throw something together if you're otherwise feeling positive because you've gotten out of your four walls."

Quantumleap: This is really great advice. I've been trying it this week. I was going out in the mornings before, but I think DD does better when we are just mellow and stay home. That way she gets a good nap in. Then in the afternoon we can go out & play.

Okimom- wow where do you get your energy. I'd be exhausted by lunch :)

[MrsBone]

During the summer ours has gotten messed up and DS goes to bed later because he needs a nap, but this is a typical day:

8:00- wake, I put a show on for the kids and drink some coffee and get on the computer for 20 minutes or so

8:45-breakfast

9:15- get dressed, teeth brushed, maybe throw a load of laundry in

10:00- out the door for playdate, errands etc(this doesn't happen daily)

12:30-lunch

1:30- nap for baby/quiet time for 3 1/2 year old

2:30-2:45- alone time with DS/preschool type stuff

play time with DS

I usually do chores like folding laundry, or sweeping the floor, dusting while the kids are napping, but if we've been home a few days in a row, I'm usually caught up and can just chill for 30 minutes or so.

3:30- prep dinner so I'm not doing everything last minute(I cook from scratch almost daily, so it takes time!)

5:00- cook dinner(bake, or prep other things if I have time)

6:00 dinnertime

6:45- clean kitchen(DH is usually home by now)

7:00- bathtime for both kids, jammies and teeth brushed(DH helps when he's home)

7:30-7:45- DD nurses, goes to bed

8:00- Storytime/prayers with DS (alternates between DH and I)

8:30-lights out bedtime for DS

8:30-10;30- DH is usually out working the workshop or fixing something or so exhausted from work that we hang out and watch a show together or something and I hang out alone watching tv, reading, and we'll join up later  to have some alone time...only about 20 minutes or so. DH works LONG hours at a physically demanding job and not consistent hours, so I don't plan any of my day around him unfortunately :(

I fit in scouring the bathrooms, vacuuming and mopping and dusting in wherever I can. I don't have a schedule for that. I have just learned to let some things go and to just accept that my house will not be clean all the time. DH barely sees messes until they are way beyond my comfort level, so to keep the house tidy and clean is just for my own sanity, not to make DH feel comfortable, so that helps a lot :)

Again, this is just a loose schedule..it changes often and is not always the same every day. The only thing that stays consistent is that DD gets an afternoon nap, and I make our meals from scratch. That's about it! If I stayed at home all day every day, we would be consistent, but then i go stir crazy, so that's not an option! :)