My first VBAC had a 15 hour "pushing" phase. He was OT and got stuck behind my pelvic bone. Took several hours to realize he was stuck, couple more to figure out how to unstick him ( hands & knees made it worse), then no contractions for 2-3 hours, so I slept. Then about 6 hours of ineffective pushing from exhaustion and an hour of effective pushing that got him out.
My next 2 were about 45min of pushing & about 2hrs.
I attended a birth as a doula with 6 hours of pushing. But mama was freaked out by pushing and didn't really get into it until about 2 hours before baby was born. So I don't think it really compares to your experience.
Have you had a chiropractic evaluation/care? I'd think that would be one way to find out if pelvic misalignment was part of the problem.
I guess I can understand why your experience would be alarming for some people. But I think how I would think about it is that it would have been alarming if anything had gone wrong, KWIM? Nothing did go wrong. So you were very blessed by a midwife who was willing to wait and see, rather than assuming that something WOULD go wrong at any moment.
I just wanted to let you know that births can be completely different. I am blessed with short pushing stages (and I think you are a ROCK STAR because I really f'ing hate pushing - it feels like holding onto an express train for dear life to me) but my labor with DD was 48 hours and it sucked. I was exhausted. I barely had eaten, she was born at 8:30 in the morning, so I hadn't slept for 2 nights - it just sucked. I think she was slightly asynclinitic because I did hands and knees, butt in the air and after that things started progressing. She was 8lbs7oz.
Anyway, I was scared to death to go into labor with DS. TOTALLY freaked out. My labor with him was AMAZING. Homebirth, really healing, it was 7 hours total, and really only 3 hours of that I was sure I was in labor, and transition was a breeze (I was having triple peaking ctx with DD). He had 2 nuchal hands and came flying out after 4 minutes of pushing. 9lbs1oz! My point to telling you this is, in my experience, second labors are SO much easier, and it can go wonderfully!
Also, just about everyone I have talked to has said their second labors were WAY easier. Good luck!!
Just wanted to let you know that I pushed for over 7 hours.
My son was posterior (OP) for my entire third trimester, but when I went into labour my midwife assured me he had moved into the correct position. My labour was very intense from the beginning (1am), contractions starting off 4 minutes apart with strong back pain and excruciating thigh pain with every contraction. (My midwife had never heard of leg pain, but I have since found out it isn't that uncommon.)
I laboured at home and was fully dilated at 1pm, at which point my midwife instructed me to start pushing. About an hour later, my son's head was about an inch from being born, and my midwife assured me he'd be born in no time. Over an hour after that, my son hadn't budged. I tried every position, but I was totally exhausted and really just wanted to lie down. Unfortunately, every time I did, my contractions backed off. The second midwife (who had arrived to assist with the delivery) suggested I transfer to hospital, which I did.
It wasn't until I was in the car that I finally felt a strong urge to push. By the time I got to the hospital I fully expected to have a C-section. The OB examined me, said my son was OP and that was the reason for the difficulty, but oddly had me continue pushing with the midwives. They put me on a pitocin drip to increase my contractions. I continued to try position after position with no success. I would push my son's head down, and then it would apparently move back up between contractions. Finally, at 8:14pm, the OB gave me a large episiotomy and apparently manually rotated my son, and he was born with just one more push. 8.0lb even.
My son is now 14 months old, but I still don't understand what went wrong. I am fit, stayed active throughout my pregnancy, and stayed very calm and focused throughout my labour. My midwives deny the OB's claim that my son was OP, but I never understood why they thought he would lie. The only explanation they gave me was a possible "soft tissue issue", whatever that means. I think my midwife made me push much too early, but I don't think that alone could have caused the problem. I was left thinking I just wasn't very good at pushing, especially since my two closest girlfriends both had easy, short home births just a few weeks later.
I am now pregnant with my second child, and hoping for a much shorter second stage this time around!
Update from OP:
So we are starting to ponder a baby #2. I just got my cycles back after 20 months of nursing my dd, and we are considering TTC around her second birthday. Of course this means actually needing to birth the hypothetical baby... so of course I am thinking back on my birth experience.
Still on my bucket list - talk to my midwife again. We chatted about all of this briefly after the birth, but it has been a long time and we never really dug into too many details. We both agreed on full dilation and the start of my strong pushing urges... but many of the details are hazy. I also met another mom at a LLL meeting who had a very similar birth experience with the same midwife in February. Her birth ended in a transfer and C/S, and during the section they found her baby was presenting in such a way that he seemed in good position, but was actually getting pushed against her pelvis. (Or something like that?) I would love to chat with my midwife and see if this experience sheds any light on my own.
Thank you, thank you again for the comments. Everyone seems to agree that this was probably a rare circumstance that won't repeat itself for a second birth. That is a very reassuring thought!
Have any of you who first time moms who posted gone on to have a better experience the next time? It sounds like several have. I would be happy to join that trend!
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