I hope some of you who have BTDT with a 7 yo (my experience w dd1 was so different) can help. I am worried about how my almost 7 yo is defensive and can't admit to simple mistakes. She blames her siblings for everything and can't take responsibility for anything. I am a pretty gentle disciplinarian, but at the end of that particular journey with her due to her inability to listen and retain my simple requests and age-appropriate expectations.
For example: she will have arguments and screaming matches with her almost 3 yo brother rather than offering solutions (as is modeled for her), she doesn't remember to do her chores and has to be reminded every day, she will shut down and refuse to have very simple, non-threatening conversations about a concern and she is very defensive and can't just say, "I'm so sorry". Tonight she told me I was a bad mother. Ouch.
I'm feeling like I'm not equipped to deal with this. She is bright and I *know* that her memory is functioning. I worry that her pride and defensiveness will get in the way of her relationships and prevent her from trying new things in the future.
This started in small doses 1/2 way through last school year and has intensified since then. She is very social and has lots of friends and enjoys her Montessori school.
Any advice is appreciated!