Weekly Chat Thread (through 5/27) « Back to Group Discussions

[Vegan Princess]

Yay - chat thread! Feel free to chat about whatever you're up to or is on your mind. How is everyone feeling?

Is anyone else nesting already? I have this overwhelming compulsion to sort everything! Like all my clothes, all my daughter's old clothes stored away in the attic, etc. I'm on a goodwill kick. And I've been pulling apart closets and cleaning, etc. I'm exhausted. LOL! Seems early to be so nesty - but I suppose I feel driven to get things in order before I am too big and tired.

I met the doula we are going to use yesterday. Her main purpose will be to take charge of my 3 yr old - to be able to take her to another room if she is scared or bored (we are planning a homebirth). But she has a background in bodywork and massage so I am looking forward to having her do some magic on me!

Cindy

[Angelorum]

yay chat thread!

I wouldn't call it nesting, but I have been sorting through drawers and other storage spaces lately, but that's in anticipation of moving in July.  Speaking of which, we closed on our house Friday!  It still doesn't seem real, we haven't even seen it in person, it's like 700 miles away.  My in-laws did check it out for us in person, and we've seen pictures.  It's just a relief knowing that it's taken care of, I'll have my own place to give birth in, and more space for a new babe. 

My sis (4 days ahead of me) had her ultrasound today and she's having a girl!  Once again, it seems like every pregnant woman I know is having a girl.  Same thing happened last time, I knew 5 different women who were pregnant at the same time I was, and they all had girls, except me!  Ds was a surprise, and this one will be too.  I've been biased towards thinking this is a girl since the beginning though, when the only possible conception sex was 4 whole days before ovulation.  Plus, my symptoms have been totally different this time.  Ds really thinks he's getting a sister, I don't know if it's some kind of child intuition, or if it's just that every time some character on one of his tv shows gets a new sibling it's a girl.  I think he'll be really confused if it turns out to be a boy this time too!

I'm starting to get a little worried about my lack of weight gain.  Despite pretty much eating whatever I wanted, I didn't gain very much last time (not as much as my midwife wanted me to), but it seems like I had gained a lot more by the half way point last time than this time.  I'm not nauseous at all, I'm eating, I've got a definite belly, what gives?  Anyone else?

[violetflapjack]

i think any nesting thats happening here is masked by all of the mandatory activity of packing and moving.  we're doing our big move on the 3rd of june so it's coming right up.  busy busy busy with that.  i'm excited to move and be able to really start in on my nest.  i know packing and sorting has been a lot of fun, but i'm also a virgo and like that stuff anyway.

no weight issues here really, except maybe gaining too much...or at least more than I want.  i've been staying really active this time (which was hard to do last time because I was so aenemic that I didn't have any energy so I gained a lot of weight, especially water weight in the summer).  feel good overall.

i feel like baby has been having a growth spurt this last week that I'm just getting to the end of now so I've been sooo hungry and more sleepy than usual.

[springmum]

I'm definitely getting the nesting urge, but am totally resisting it until my ultrasound next week. We are finding out who this little jumping bean is, and then I can start planning. Our place is small, so knowing whether to pack & store DS's stuff, or donate is my big job. Luckily he wore lots of neutral clothing, so I can keep a bunch of stuff either way.

We also have a doula (we're having a hospital birth though) she's really wonderful. I haven't figured out if it will be too upsetting for DS, or how to include him in a hospital birth yet (we have to have one - I'm a VBAC, and highly colonized for GBS which puts my risks a little higher)  He's very sensitive and attached, but also very curious and wants to see the baby being born - I guess I'll have to check with my midwives on that policy. It would be nice to have someone to just keep him out/occupied, if it looks a little scary for him - and have him check in to know I still love him:) 

What are others doing with their older children during the birth?

Anyone have experience with little ones attending the birth? Positives/negatives?

Angelorum - My weight gain has been much slower this time, but my belly is waaay bigger. I was up about 12lbs at 16 weeks (compared to 16lbs at 16 weeks with DS) , haven't weighed myself lately. My appetite is still not great though, and  I struggle getting calories late in the day due to nausea still. I'm just focusing on eating healthy foods and not junk as much as possible (and not limiting healthy fats etc) and exercise as much as is comfortable - we'll see how it goes.

How much weight have you gained so far? 

[vegchica]

I feel like I have that nesting urge too. I had my first Dr appt and ultrasound last week so now that I know things are looking good I'm so excited. We also found out we are having a BOY! We have 2 girls now that were surprises since I chose not to have any ultrasounds during those pregnancies.
There's so much I want to do but I have to be patient because my husband is looking for a job in case his business does not pick up, we will be looking for a house to rent closer to family, and have to get a new car since we will now need a 3rd row (I also have a preteen stepson who lives with us).
So until then I'm just trying to make lists and focus on my health. I am concerned that I have already gained 38 lbs by 17 weeks. I gained 60 lbs with each of my previous pregnancies so I was determined to have a fit pregnancy this time. I ate anything and everything with those pregnancies but this one I barely have an appetite and am eating very healthy and no more than I did prior to getting pregnant. For some reason when I get pregnant my body just packs on the weight.
So I will be trying very hard to start walking again, 3 miles a day. It just got so hot that I stopped.
Other than that I'm just enjoying feeling my very active boy moving around!

[pregnova]

Wow, it sounds like a lot of us are planning moves! I'm the same...we'll be moving in about 5-6 weeks with a stopover at the great grandparents to share our news for a week or so. I'm sort of irritated about it because I'm DEFINITELY in nesting mode right now. But I can't really do anything since with all the travel we do on a regular basis, everything is already minimized and regularly swept through so that we don't accumulate more than we could travel with! 

As to weight gain, I also have the same concern. I gained 55lb last time and it all disappeared overnight around 3 months postpartum. Without any help from me. So, I was anxious to gain less this time, but also thought that maybe that weight gain was just what my body needed since it didn't stick around. But, here I am at 19 weeks and I'm only up 4lb! I do have a belly..but still...it feels like I should be up a lot more by this point. Mostly it's because my hunger seems to have disappeared. I'm just not eating that much anymore...and when I do eat, it's raw veggies, fresh fruits, and meat...nothing with a lot of calories. I'm waiting until 20 weeks to weigh again and see if things have picked up a bit. 

This babe will be a surprise although I'm hoping it's a girl and definitely feeling like I'll be shocked if it turns out to be another boy. Everything about this pregnancy is radically different from my son's. It's sort of a pain preparation wise though. lol All of our baby stuff in storage is incredibly out of our way, so we'll not be able to sort through it ourselves...meaning I'll have to rely on my mother-in-law and skype. Plus, I actually think none of the early baby stuff would be gender neutral...AND I have this feeling that if it were a girl, I would want to shop for it anyway. lol So, I'm mostly trying to get together a week's worth of clothing that could do for a boy or girl without being boringly neutral. lol But, it IS hard on my nesting instinct right now that just wants to sift through piles of baby clothes!!!

[Vegan Princess]

I can't believe how many of you are moving! I'm so happy to not be. LOL. 

Vegchica: You body just must like to gain weight when you are prego. I'm sure it has it's reasons if you are eating better and still gaining the weight!

Pregnova: Wow, since I know you in real life, I can't imagine that you've only gained 4 lbs. You are SOOO tiny. But if you gain the avg 1lb/week you'll be at about the low end up what they say to gain. I know plenty of women who've gained less than 25lbs and they had healthy big babies. But definitely make sure you are eating enough.

I've definitely been gaining faster with the pregnancy than my last. I worked out more with my last. But I also sat at a desk 10 hrs/day. Now I work out less but I spend more time on my feet running the house (cooking, cleaning - 2 things I rarely did last time LOL) and with a 3 yr old. So I have less time and energy for working out. I think I gained 12 lbs at 19 weeks last week. I gained around 30 lbs with DD. I lost it all  by 2 months post partum without trying also. And then lost another 11 lbs without trying thanks to the nursing. I think I just feel ick this time bc, even though I started at exactly the same weight as late time, I had only recently finished gaining all that extra 11 lbs back - mostly thanks to the stress of infertility. So anyway, I think I just felt sort of fat when I got pregnant. LOL. Anyway, if I can keep the gain to around 1lb/week, I'll be ok with my gain. I just got freaked bc I had a month I gained 7 lbs!

Cindy

[leebee13]

Thankfully we already got our move out of the way, but I too seem to be experiencing nesting of sorts. I took 6 bags of clothes and linens as well as a few boxes of books and toys to our local non profit resale store (kind of like goodwill, but a local endeavor). I feel so much better not having all the plastic crap around that my daughter has accumulated through birthdays and holidays over the years (most of it still in packaging). We actually have more room in our new home (and in a few months when the master bedroom is finished we'll have even more), but I just feel overwhelmed by all the stuff we have. I've weeded most of my stuff down to the essentials, but if anyone has any tips for helping my semi-hoarder fiance embrace a more minimalist lifestyle I would be eternally grateful!

I have been on a gardening kick lately. My mother and I have gotten everything tilled and this weekend we start planting. We've got our "kitchen" garden that will give us just enough fresh veggies and herbs for both our households throughout the summer and this year we've added a huge plot of land to grow lots of potatoes, pumpkins, squash, and tomatoes for freezing/canning. This is the first year my daughter has really shown an interest in gardening so it's been wonderful to pass on something my mother and I have always bonded over. She even has her own little berry patch this year and a sunflower "house" in the works.

Angelorum- I too have been struggling with weight gain, the sickness is gone and I feel like I am always eating, but despite the growing belly, my weight stays the same.  My doctor was concerned at first, because they like to see some solid weight gain by 20 weeks with twins, but he had my keep a food diary and he was very pleased with what and the amounts I was eating. Nutritionally and physically I am doing great, the weight gain will come eventually.

[bostonmummy]

I'm 20 weeks today and really loving that I'm looking unmistakably pregnant. Just last week I started thinking about what we're going to need and became somewhat overwhelmed by the baby market. I think I'm going to keep things as simple as possible and just have only what I know we're going to need at first: diapers, clothes, blankets, a bassinet, some kind of baby carrier - probably the Moby for the first few months - as well as nursing bras and a car seat, etc. The stroller can wait until I figure out what works for us in terms of getting around, exercising, etc. My SIL is giving us her crib and changing table, though I'm not sure I even want a changing table. I think it would more practical to get a dresser and just change the baby on top of that.

In the meantime, it's thrilling to know that this baby is probably starting to hear. I've been singing and talking to this child, playing a variety of beautiful and fun music, and sending great energy to myself and the baby throughout the day. We think we've got a boy's name figured out, and now we just need to figure out a middle name for a girl.

Weight gain - I think it's stopped for me. I haven't gotten on the scale in a couple of weeks because I was stressing out about it, but the majority of my weight gain happened in the first trimester when I was so crazy hungry all the time. I've decided to stop worrying about it and just focus on keeping the exercise going and eating as well as I can. Because I have colitis, I'm limited in what I can eat, but I eat a lot of pasture-raised meat and small amounts of veggies and berries. Aside from my morning dark chocolate and my evening sorbet, I don't eat any junk, so I figure if my body wants to gain weight, then that's just what it needs to do. 

All in all, aside from my daily urge to throw up when I'm exercising, I'm feeling fantastic and loving this pregnancy. And I'm really excited because my husband and I are heading to Vancouver for a babymoon at the end of June. We plan to hike as much as we can and then in between our jaunts into the wilderness to get into the city to enjoy its arts and culture. We're so aware of the expiration date on our coupledom, so we're trying to take advantage of every opportunity we have to revel in our connection before we bring this child into the world. 

Thanks for sharing your experiences, everyone!

[Angelorum]

I've only gained maybe 3 or 4 pounds. And those came right at the beginning.  I'm not sure exactly how much I weighed pre-pregnancy, but I think it was a couple pounds up from my normal (low, but healthy) weight.  I didn't lose weight during my first trimester, like I did last time, so I just expected to gain more this time.  Total with ds was 20 lbs. 

[pregnova]

Bostonmummy- That Babymoon sounds fun! It is so true that it's just never the same as pre-baby once the baby comes. lol Even when we get away for a night, or (more likely) just a few hours, it's impossible to not THINK about your kid and talk about them. lol Ha, of course, I imagine you'll be talking about your little one to come on your babymoon! 

I must have lost weight during the first trimester, because when I first weighed myself at 14 weeks, I was up just 2lb though I felt like I'd only just started eating normally again. And now, it's only been 2 more pounds in 5 weeks! Yikes! I'm trying not to think about it too much though I am mindful of it and I am adding more healthy fats into my diet as I'm able to eat them...just to help things along. It's weird to think of one pregnancy with a gain of 55lb, and another pregnancy with a gain that's on track for the low end of the 'normal' spectrum!

So, I woke up this morning feeling AWFUL. I had a sore throat, and felt like I was hung over with a big cold coming on. I felt doomed. lol I took some Emergen-C right away and then piled on the vitamin C foods and basically handed ds over to the hubby for the day, and I feel SO much better now. Fingers crossed that I beat it off that quickly!

[Angelorum]

Ugh.  Dh and MIL both think I'm silly for not wanting to drive 700 miles with almost 3 yo by myself during our move.  I'll be nearly 28 weeks pregnant at the time.  It's not like I'm refusing if it's the only way, I'd just rather avoid it if possible.  Is it that unreasonable?  I don't even sit in the front when the 3 of us are on long car trips together, I sit in the back with ds to keep him entertained.  Someone tell me I'm not crazy!

[springmum]

Pregnova - oh no! Hope you beat whatever it is!

Angelorum - You're not crazy! We sometimes take turns sitting in the back with DS for extra long trips and he's 4! Why do people assume that pregnant women should do all the travelling - that would be a hard ride if you weren't pregnant. There's only so many books & toys to keep kids occupied, never mind the bathroom breaks that you will have to drag him out of the car for every time. Or the snack packing so you don't have to hit every fast food restaurant.....doesn't sound like fun to me at 28 weeks.

[gratefulmum]

Originally Posted by Angelorum 

Ugh.  Dh and MIL both think I'm silly for not wanting to drive 700 miles with almost 3 yo by myself during our move.  I'll be nearly 28 weeks pregnant at the time.  It's not like I'm refusing if it's the only way, I'd just rather avoid it if possible.  Is it that unreasonable?  I don't even sit in the front when the 3 of us are on long car trips together, I sit in the back with ds to keep him entertained.  Someone tell me I'm not crazy!

No! You're not crazy. I once moved from NY to CA with dd in the backseat when she was 2 yo and that was one LONG trip and I wasn't even pg. I laugh when I think of the things I resorted to to keep her amused!

Another one here that's moving soon. We are waiting to close on our house still but are supposed to move June 21-ish if everything goes as planned.

I haven't had any time to think about nesting or packing yet between work and school. I graduated (Bachelor's) two weeks ago. Woohoo!!I am so excited to be done! I think I see the end of the tunnel at my work now, so after Memorial Day weekend I think I can finally get going on that.

Besides the packing I really need to focus more on getting some exercise in. I have used too many excuses thus far and need to just make it a priority!

Pregnova- hope you cut it off early enough! Last week we all had a cold that hit pretty hard and lasted longer than I would've liked.

[pregnova]

Angelorum- Ugg, there's NO way I'd be making that trip by myself! lol And we have been traveling back and forth across the country for the past three years with ds! lol But...no way. I'm worried about our 10 hr or so move coming up just because I get sore from just an hour daytrip now. Not to mention the pee breaks! I can't even imagine what it will be like in 5 more weeks!

Thanks for the well wishes guys...I still have a bit of a sore throat but feel normal otherwise, so I think I beat off the worst of it. 

[miss_sonja]

Hmmm...we're planning a road trip for July. Or maybe boating. Still deciding! I've realized that planning travel is my thing this time. With my previous pregnancies, I acquired pets-cats, chickens. This time, there's been a decree against the addition of any new non-human creatures to the household.

Finally started telling colleagues & friends last week and this. It's good to 'come out' so I don't need to try to conceal my elastic waistbands, but still a bit stressful. 

All is going well, according to the midwife. No u/s, so surprise baby for us. I've had a couple of offers of a shower, which is great, since I have no baby stuff anymore except my slings. Kept those from nostalgia.

[dandylez]

Glad these weekly threads have re-started!! Thanks to whoever is responsible!

We're planning a road-trip for August, miss_Sonja. We have about 10 days before DP starts her new job, so we're taking advantage of some bonding time before baby. We bought a second-hand tent trailer a few days ago, and we're going to travel out east, probably to Nova Scotia and PEI.  We'll stay in Canada, so that we're covered by health insurance if anything surprising happens with the baby.

Everything else is going well.  I'm hesitant to chime in on the weight discussion because I'm not sure what I was before I got pregnant.  I'm eating healthy foods -- lots of fruit and salads -- but I was closing in on 150 lbs at the midwife's a couple of days ago. That's definitely heavier than I've ever been. But I'm walking 2.5 - 5km a day, and I'm generally active, so I'm not going to worry about it too much. 

The Pickle is so active these days that my MIL suggested we change the nickname to something that reflects that. I once had a neighbour whose little boy was nicknamed Trout from his time in the womb because he was such a swimmer.  Maybe we should try something like that... Mackerel, Salmon, Minnow....?

[Vegan Princess]

Dandylez: I called DD wiggle worm in utero - this one is become wiggle worm #2 these days!

Pregnova: Hope you feel better!

Angelorum: I pondered driving 500 miles to see my family with my 3 yr old - didn't ponder than for too long. It sounds awful!!!  I recall doing the drive at about 32 weeks pregnant last time - no kid in tow and DH driving - but we had to stop so many times to pee. It would def be un-fun with no help and a child that wants to get out of the car seat an hour into the drive.

AFM: Had a midwife appt yesterday. Everything was normal. I just love how involved she lets my 3yr old be. It's so precious and my DD loves getting to help take care of me. We got to hear the heartbeat on the fetoscope instead of dopppler this time. It was special bc the midwife told me it is the actual sound of the baby's heart - not just a digital representation of the heart rate, like it is with the doppler. 

Cindy

[pregnova]

Aww, Cindy, that's sweet about the fetoscope. 

Haha, about "The pickle". lol My name for this little one is 'Thumper'. It's been so active so early on that it reminded me of something with big feet...lol which reminded me of the little rabbit in Bambi. 

We went on a daytrip today to a kids museum. It was a good trip, but man is my back sore...whether from the extra standing or the drive itself idk, but man...sort of dreading the move now. 

[Angelorum]

Thanks all for confirming my suspicion that dh and MIL are the weird ones here!  It's looking like we're going to have 4 drivers and 3 vehicles, so we should be able to double up in whatever car ds is riding in.  Also, we are probably doing the trip in 2 days, my grandparents live almost exactly halfway to our destination, and they love to see us/don't mind hosting us for a night.  I'm hoping that will cut down on the travel swelling I'll probably get.  I flew overseas at 29 and 32 weeks last time (about 10 hours each way).  I hadn't had any swelling until I got on that first plane, but my shoes barely fit by the time we got to Prague. 

Good luck to everyone planning moves soon!