My first baby was sooooo easy. Adjusting to having her around was NOTHING. I just lay around, fed her, whatever. She was always happy to go with me wherever I was going, loved the sling, loved being held by anyone. Easy as pie.
My second was a nightmare from day one...just Soooooooo high needs. He wanted to be in my arms, on a boob, making eye contact with me. Period. All day, all night. ALL day.....ALL night. (he was still like this when he weaned himself at two....just a SUPER attached guy).
So number two involved much more adjusting than number one did for us. This time around I'm not really thinking about it, I know everything will fall into place as it should and will be okay.
My DH is taking two weeks off and all of our family has food that they are bringing on certain days and there is freezer prepped stuff, etc. So, for the first two weeks I'm not doing a single damn thing but laying around, feeding this baby and snuggling with my big kids. I have been stocking up on cutopia/groupon coupons for fun things that my DH can take my 4 and 2.5 year old to do. So I've spent practically NO money and they have some REALLY fun things to do...like this awesome butterfly pavillion in our area, a super fun indoor play place that is HUGE (like, "all-day-worthy" huge) with bouncy houses and super fun crafts, a few different things like that. So for the first week lots of family will be around and for the second week I may decide to have friends come to visit or whatever...but the big kids will have some special stuff to do with just dad which will take them out of the "laser focus on new baby" zone and let them blow off steam on cool equipment and stuff. I really felt like that was important so I tried to make it a priority.
I have done a lot more prepping for food this time. That is the biggest thing for me. I am a slave to the kitchen every day. Morning noon and night I'm making bread, mixing, pounding, prepping, etc and I do NOT want to be doing that at ALL in the first couple of weeks PP. It's VERY hard for me, as a control freak in the kitchen, to have my DH trying to cook anything (which is generally fine with him, he loves my cooking) - so having lots of snacks, freezer meals, meals from other people, etc goes a long ways toward being able to relax and not think about that.
So as far as a routine is concerned....man. If I had tried to make a routine before my DD came, I would have found myself abandoning it completely because she was just so "go with the flow"....the routine was basically the same as life before she came, except with some diaper changes and feedings in the mix when it was convenient for me. She was just SO incredilbly easy.
If I'd tried to make a routine before my SON came...well, I would have been in the depths of hellish despair for feeling like I was failing.
So I am not going to set myself up with any expectation. I will change her. I will feed her. I will lay down to sleep when she sleeps. Over and over and over again, I will change her when she needs it, feed her when she's hungry and lay down to sleep when she does. The trick, I think, to making that plan a success, is making sure that there is NOTHING else for me to do.
Good luck, mama. I know how it can be. PPD thrown into the mix just completely shreds everything. I was very depressed and unstable, looking back, during my last PP period. When my son came along, I was really kind of shook up...he was just so much more demanding than I ever imagined. It wasn't like, frantic or chaotic around here...I was just surprised at how taxed and worn out I was. He still wears me out, to be honest. I'm not even really worried about what kind of kid this baby will be, because there is no possible way she could be half as needy as my son was!! It's all okay now, because he is worlds, worlds better than he was and he and I have an incredibly close relationship because of everything we went through...but I know that the real "x-factor" after this baby comes is not going to be how SHE is...it's going to be how my SON handles the transition.