Ineptness... « Back to Group Discussions

[Jessimaca]

I'm not sure if thats a word or not...  Anyway, does anyone else feel totally inept?  As a first time mom?  I just have moments/days where I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and I feel like I'm doing it all wrong.  Most of it stems around feeding cause my baby won't nurse without a nipple shield (that feels like a failure to me-- I thought if anything went well for me it would be nursing-- I'm a Certified Lactation Counselor) and she nurses ALL day.  Again that feels like it's because of the shield.  I can't do anything else, forget about getting out and about for even a walk and so that feels like a failure to me.  I feel bad like maybe she nurses all the time cause she's starving...  Anyway, just needed to vent.  Had a bad evening, night, morning of constant nursing and feeling bad.

[chiromama01]

jess-- so sorry you're having a rough time.  dd used to nurse around the clock, and it was all i could do to make toast... it was really rough.  my thoughts for you are this.. imagine if you weren't an LC, you may not have known how to handle a baby who wouldn't nurse without the shield.  you may have given up nursing long ago.  maybe your sweet dd was sent to you becuase you would know just how to help her.  you're not inept, your ingenious.  youve figured out how to supply breast milk to a baby who likely would have otherwise had formula by now.  and through your journey, you will have a better understaning of what's happening when you're helping your clients and their babes. maybe she's nursing all the time cuz she loves her some mommy time  ;)  you're both learning your new life, so try to slow down, give her what she needs, to the best of your ability, and don't worry about the rest.  you were meant to be her mommy, and you're doing great at it!

((((HGUS))))

[jmay]

Very well said Chiro. Hugs to you Jess!

[ReadingRenee]

I couldn't say it better than Chiro did.  And I know all about constant nursing.  I know how tiring and exhausting it is.  It DOES get better I promise.  ((hugs))

[flavorfull1]

I agree w everyone else, chiro said it well. Hugs to you and you will get out of the house and, i promise, look back on these days and miss them. It is so hard I know, but you are doing exactly what your baby needs and that is awesome!

[saudade]

I'm a fifth time mom and I feel inept around feeding too. My LO is having trouble gaining weight and I have supply issues. I'm mad at myself because I made some mistakes in the very beginning that I blame myself for (letting her sleep too long between feeds, only feeding on one breast per feed so going too long between for each breast, etc...) I'm mad at myself because I *knew* better and should have "refreshed" myself by doing some reading about BFing before she was born but I guess I felt like a pro and didn't think I needed to, however it's been nearly 10 years since I BF my last. So, what I'm getting at is that I know how you feel even though it's something different...and that you don't have to be a first time mom to feel inept about mothering. I have a theory that it's a healthy feeling (as long as it's not too extreme) because it gives us the motivation to be the best we can be. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Nazsmum]

I agree with everyone. Having a new born can be over whelming. BUT you will get thou it. Real you will.

[Aletheia]

This is my third... and I had one of "those days" today, too.  It's really hard for me to remember that one bad day does not mean all the future days will be bad.  But I do know from experience that good days will come back my way again!  Hang in there.

[Jessimaca]

Chiromom~  You post made me cry   What you said was so sweet and it really helped.  I think I will re-read your post and this whole thread everytime I'm feeling that way.  I can't thank you enough for taking the time to give me some encouragement!

Thanks everyone-- I'm hoping today is better.  Aletheia~  I have the same problem-- I keep thinking it's going to be like this forever!  Which I know can't be true, but it's hard to see past this.  Thanks again, it's so nice to have a place where I can honestly say what I'm feeling and get support! 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a better day today.  And a good day for all of you ladies.

[chiromama01]

 glad you're doing a bit better