So some background so you know where I'm coming from. My first baby was 9lbs1.3oz and I had a 4th degree tear, was induced and had every medication they could pump in me. My second baby came on his own but did end up having a epi but the birth was easier as was the recovery and I did not tear but they did remove some scar tissue after baby was born he was 7lbs 5oz. My third was 6lbs 5 oz and came around 37 or 38 weeks same as my second. That third one was also medication free (did 85% of my laboring at home) and I swore after how amazing that birth and recovery was that if I did it again it would be at home/birth center and with a midwife.
I'm now 38 weeks with our fourth child. I started out with a midwife but then it was discovered I had a 10cm teratoma in my right ovary and I also developed gestational diabetes. I also had to go to the ER with extreme pain in my left side and it wad deemed I either passed a kidney stone or the baby had blocked the uretha temporary. So with these items the midwives were worried about me birthing with them so I was transferred to a more high risk doctor.
The one doctor in the practice I really like the other ones are annoying and piss me off. The doctor that I really like is also the one stating that for my well-being a vaginal birth is the best option for me that a c-section could pose a high blood loss risk due to the teratoma and the way they'd have to cut to get to the baby and whatnot. Because of the teratoma I've had many many ultrasounds and the baby has steadily measured large for his gestational age. When I went two weeks ago (36 weeks) the baby measured at 40 weeks 4 days. So he was 4 weeks larger then he should. I know these measurements can be off but even so he's still measuring bigger.
I was having lots of hip pain, strong braxton hicks, and other signs of labor but 2 weeks ago they just stopped. Nothing. I was checked at my last two appointments and was told I was "long" and 1cm. Today I was checked and told "no change from last time". So now they are wanting to induce at 39 weeks and at every apt the doctor that I can't stand seems to "push" or really "get me ready" for a c-section.
When I was called by the nurse to confirm my induction date they told me no food or drink after midnight and I need to be there at 6am. The induction date is June 4th and I'm already feeling like I'm on a ticking clock. My comment is I have gestational diabetes I NEED to eat and drink. My second comment is a induction can take hours and hours and I'm not going all day without eating just to be physically drained so that I have to have a c-section.
I've had doula training. I've read tons and tons of articles and books yet I still feel like I have no voice and that my dreams (what was left of them) of having a vaginal birth is being pushed aside. I feel mad that all these signs of labor have stopped and perhaps I'm doing something wrong that I've slowed things down. I'm trying to walk, drink a pregnancy tea (red raspberry), take evening primerose oil, and together time with my husband - but I know that if baby isn't ready baby isn't coming. However I feel like I HAVE to get things going and have to get baby out before the medication roller coaster begins and I end up having a tear feast for my last ever pregnancy and birth experience.
Also my insurance will only cover for this one group of doulas in our area. I was assigned a doula from that group and the day I was to meet her to talk about my birth plan and have her at the doc apt with me she texted me 10 minutes before I was to meet with her that she couldn't make it due to her son being sick. She texted that she'd call me the next day to find out how the apt went and to schedule a new time to meet. She never called. I tried calling her one night to ask her a question about 5pm. I never heard back from her. I mentioned something to my insurance and they called the coordinator for that doula group and my assigned doula again texted me that she was busy with a lot of births and would understand if I wanted to be assigned to another doula. I decided to just leave it cause if the coordinator couldn't call me to find out what was wrong nor could this doula call me and only communicate via text it just left a bad taste so for now it's just another one of those things that I had wanted in my "dream" birth that isn't going to happen.
So anyway - any thoughts on getting over the ticking clock. The no food issue with induction (the feeling that I'm already being set up for failure and super restrictive birthing). How to possibly get this show on the road before June 4th?