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QQOTD- Queer Question of the Day - Page 8

post #141 of 196

We are leaving in ONE WEEK for our New England extravaganza! We will spend several days in Providence, Rhode Island (where DP and I lived for seven years while doing our PhDs, and still miss terribly), then a week on Cape Cod in Provincetown. We'll close with a couple more days in Providence, and then fly back home. I CANNOT WAIT.

post #142 of 196

Nosreves - I definitely will let you know! Though since life is short and I've been to France (albeit a short trip), I think I was thinking Denmark, Germany, Austria...


My wife wants to go on a riverboat cruise through a few countries, but I'm afraid it would be too rigid, waste time, miss important inland places, and maybe be a little too white-haired blue-blood. Has anybody done one of those?


Angela - Have a great time. Both places are great!

post #143 of 196

Angela, I went to school in Providence, too!  Love it there, especially all the 18th-century (and 17th century!!) architecture. ETA: and I've also been to P-Town, but only for a few days back in 98...


I might have mentioned this before, but we're headed up to Massachussetts in mid-August, for an event at Raven Kaldera's farm. He's pretty well known in the trans community (if anyone sees him listed as a speaker at any LGBTQ conferences you're attending, he's worth your time IMO.) 

There's a camping area behind his farm, but it's a little too rustic and I'm a little too femmey ;) , and this will be our first road trip with A, so we're staying in a nearby hotel.  I've already developed an EXTENSIVE packing list (which my spouse says is one of my favorite pastimes) :D , but I would welcome suggestions from anyone else who's traveled with a 6-9 month old!!

post #144 of 196
We are on A six day camping trip as I type this smile.gif we go home Sunday ... We have been hanging out in the lake up near Mt Shasta ... Been a nice first week of my TWW:)
post #145 of 196
GGNJ, Travel tips! Lol, what kind? Sara is more of a planner than I am. We are pretty regular travelers. The biggest issues we have with our 8 month old are sleep and mobility. There is so much going on and such a lack of routine when we travel that S usually takes fewer, longer naps. He tends to get hyper/giggly when overtired, so we try to provide as much downtime as reasonable but otherwise just roll with it.

If she sleeps in a crib and you will have one on your trip (most hotels have them, right?) you should be ok there. I have S sleep on the floor away from home right now because he's such a thrasher (we are staying with Sara's parents this weekend and they have twin sized beds) and he randomly wakes up and crawls around in the middle I the night. If you're co-sleeping with baby between two adults, you should be ok, too.

I try to offer extra fruit and water because I've had babies get constipated when traveling. This is kind of huge, because constipation leads to more constipation.

I don't travel with a roll of masking tape, but it makes great emergency baby-proofing stuff. You can put a piece over outlets, drawers and cabinet doors, refrigerator doors, toilet lids. It comes off easily for adults but not babies. We wound up taping a sterio cabinet shut this trip.

Bring a sweatshirt. You never know when it will get cold. We didn't bring one, because it's July and it's been 100 degrees at home. We got here and it was in the 60s. Poor Soren, we brought blankets for him but no socks or warm clothes.

I try to offer the comforts of routine but don't stress about getting off schedule. Life will go back to normal when we get home again.

I can't think of anything else. If you will be traveling with other people, and they want to eat dinner at 6, realize that that is a 3-4 hour event and think about how that will impact sleep. We always struggle with that with family. We are usually at dinner when the babies really want to be home in bed and it usually turns into a challenge. I also try to bring snacks so I can offer on his timetable instead of the restaurant's.
post #146 of 196
GGNJ ... Travel advice, well, here is a C&P of big post that I wrote back in May, when H was seven months old and we were in Costa Rica. We do a lot of travel, whenever we can. It's a big priority for us, so I like talking and thinking and planning about it. To provide a bit of context, the original question was about traveling with a stroller, in Europe. But some of the tips might translate! Your adventure sounds fun!

No stroller advice here either, as I type this mid-holiday in Costa Rica with our seven month old and three year old. We've never brought a stroller while traveling.
I love my Ergo, and also am using a short-ish wrap for an African-style back carry and sling. My seven month old naps and nurses happily in the Ergo and wrap, although 90% of the time he's in a back carry in the Ergo. The three year old has also been in the Ergo and African back carry a few times on this trip too.

- perfect your superman toss or whatever way you have of getting the baby onto your back easily. If you look awkward, strangers will try to help, and that just makes it worse. I've been wearing DS in a back carry in the Ergo since he was about four months old, but he's on the bigger end of the scale. Wore him in a woven wrap in a back carry from birth, when I had a spotter around.

- if it's hot, be sure to take an extra layer off of baby when wearing her, as she'll get hotter being worn (but I still would rather wear baby than push a stroller)

- get a couple of sun hats with straps, they stay on better in a back carry. And get your companion to make sure the baby is hatted, or check in shop windows.

-decide well beforehand whether or not you're going to start solids before traveling. We did, and thank goodness. DS is eating tonnes! I can't stand store bought baby food or purees, so I'm thrilled that he's eating what we are. Mostly beans, carrots, chayote, rice, fish, bananas, papaya, chicken, yucca, avocado, rice cakes, etc. you might want to bring a baby food grinder. We didn't. But I think I'm a bit braver than most when it comes to letting my babies nosh on food (he also eats eggs and toast and cheese and seafood and peanut butter ... Gasp!). Plus I don't mind giving him ABC food (already been chewed by me) too, which some people think is gross.

- Only bring a couple of small familiar toys from home. We brought his Sophie & his beloved toy truck, and use lots of regular items and friendly strangers and new sights to delight him while traveling.

- get comfy nursing in public. You won't want the hassle of finding discreet corners or dealing with covering up.

- bring a cloth swim diaper. You won't want to pay for sposie swim diapers, or have to find them on short notice. Our DS loves swimming, and it's a great distraction when he's fussy or tired. Bringing him into the hotel shower or tub does the same trick too.

- that said, I recommend sposies for traveling, except for swims dipes. We use cloth at home, but not on the road. Good quality sposies. We brought four packs of 7th Generation. Keeps his bum happy, but takes up a lot of luggage real estate.

- beware of diaper rash. You'll be busy and distracted and might not change her as often as at home. If you're particular about cream, bring your fave. We didn't, but haven't had rashes with either of our kids, even here in the super hot humidity.

- do you use bottles? If so, maybe shift her to a sippy cup before you go. Easier to wash, and less fussy.

- nap her on the go. She'll figure it out, i promise. Don't try to work around a schedule while in transit. She'll settle into it after a day or so. The only time I think about naps is with regards to planes. I keep my kids awake as long as possible beforehand so that they'll nap during the flight.

- start wearing her all the time now, so that you'll be stronger in all the right places when you go.

- think about the car seat issue. Using rental cars or cabs while there? Are you okay with going in cabs without a car seat? We've never done it, but we tend to get a rental when we travel, and install our own car seats that we bring with us.

- think about sleeping. Do you cosleep? If so, be sure to book rooms with a big enough bed. We have two littles who sleep with us, so we book two doubles minimum, preferably two queens. With one child, a queen was sufficient. If you'll want a crib, be sure that your accommodations have those, as I doubt you'll want to haul that along too.

- we get on the plane last, to minimize our time on board before we take off. Love that. You can also send your companion ahead to organize your seats. I like sending DP ahead for that.

- bring her birth certificate, and don't forget health insurance for her too.

- people will love up your baby and will touch her. Be okay with that, or have a practiced line to fend them off if you don't go in for that kind of thing. We've had more Costa Ricans hold him and coo at him than anywhere else we've been, including home, I bet it's the same in some European countries, the ones who tend to love up babies anyway.

- a funny tip ... When you carry your baby all the time, it's good to get used to putting her down too. Get used to doing a visual sweep of the area, keeping an eye out for hazards and cleanliness. For example, Costa Rica is a very clean country, so I've put him down to sit in grocery stores, shops, banks, hotel lobbies, ice cream stores, sidewalks, airports, zoos, exhibits, museums, restaurants, etc. Did it with his sister too at that age. Putting her down gives you and her a break. Gives her a chance to stretch and move and see new things and make new friends.

- don't bother with a high chair. Most places have them, and if not, most places have a grandma or auntie-type who are happy to hold the baby while you eat.

Phew ... That's a lot!
Now, back to our travels!
Have fun planning your trip!
ps. You better hope she doesn't crawl before you leave, but sitting up is perfect! Especially for when you want to put her down.
post #147 of 196
Starling, great tips. We still travel with cloth. Tried sposies on a trip with my oldest and he was allergic to them, so we had a sad boy with a chapped butt and no cloth to put him in. I bring a day and a half worth and wash them at night, but most people aren't so gung ho.
post #148 of 196
Thread Starter 

Sorry I have been slacking on keeping things going.  I promise to try to be better.


QQOTD - How long have you been on MDC?  What brought you here?  Have you formed some real life friendships with people you met here?


I joined last year when I was in the middle of my birth doula training.  I wanted to subscribe to the magazine, but I came to the website and they said they were ceasing publication and going online only.  So sad.  I didn't start posting until earlier this year when my TTC process was taking longer than I had anticipated and I needed a little more support.  It can be easier to talk to strangers sometimes.  I'm sure y'all understand.  I also post in the doula forums sometimes, and I hope to be able to use that more as I get more involved in birth work.  I have found a real life friend here too.  Cananny lives 3 blocks away from me!  What a coininkidink! 

post #149 of 196
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post

QQOTD - How long have you been on MDC?  What brought you here?  Have you formed some real life friendships with people you met here?



I have been here since 2/02 apparently! I read for about a year before I joined.  I started in the TTC forums and didn't even visit the queer forums back then. I was TTC my oldest.  I learned about MDC from a friend and while I have several friends on here, and I have met many more, I don't have many local friends (MzYellow, do you count as local?) from here.  Randomly, when we were in cleveland a few weeks ago I chatted with a woman who recognized our family from here (Sara's DC, actually).


Ok, I feel bad, I came with my own question, too.


Never would I ever.


What have you said you would never do, but eventually realized that never is a long time?


Like, in middle school I said I would never wear bell bottoms.  


In college I said I would never date an only child again.


When I was TTC I said I would never feed my kid hot dogs.


Who else wants to play?

post #150 of 196
Thread Starter 

When I was a younger teenager, I didn't want to get married.  I thought you didn't need a piece of paper to spend the rest of your life with someone.  I was really into Sting then and that was his position, until he got married anyway. 


When I was in college, all those kids studying economics/business got on my nerves because I thought they were just out to make money.  I never wanted to work for a big corporation in a cubicle in stuffy clothes.  I didn't want to conform.  I wanted to change the world!  I went on to earn 2 degrees in Women's Studies.  Being happy was more important than making money. At 31 I realized I was broke and miserable.  I quit baking at a co-op and got a job in investments with a huge corporation.  I work in a cubicle.  I don't wear suits, but our dress code is pretty conservative.  I make a lot more money, and I'm a lot happier.  It helps to have money when you want to live, not just get by.  I surprise myself because I actually like my job.  I would still love to work more in the birth world, but I'm not sure how to do that at the moment.

post #151 of 196

Fun game Seraf ( I count you as local)


Before I got preggo with L I said I would never breastfeed. Hahahahaha


When L was night weaned I said I would NEVER let a baby nurse all night past 6 months. (H is 12 months and nurses 5-7 times A NIGHT)


That is all I can think about

post #152 of 196

I just met Carmen in real life!  And while I haven't met my Feb '09 DDC clubbers in real life, I consider them real life friends now.  We've been through so much.  One of the mamas and I have skyped with the kids.  She's in Alaska, so that might as close as we get!  


As for never ... when I was younger I said that I would never eat meat, never date someone who wasn't obsessed with politics and social justice and art, never marry, never buy any number of emphatically boycotted products, never EVER feed my children refined sugar, never EVER raise my voice at them, and never shave my legs.  *ahem* 

post #153 of 196
I've been on mdc a little over a year... Came here to navigate the whole ttc process... Pokey and I are neighbors and even see same Re smile.gif I've also met krista and her lovely Dp . And another couple who don't frequent here anymore ... I love it smile.gif
I treasure everyone on here though we have all been through a lot together smile.gif

I said I'd never ever live in Ca but then visited northern Ca and have been here 11 years smile.gif
You learn to never say never wink1.gif
post #154 of 196
I showed up when I was looking for TTC info (but before DP allowed me to do anything about it). I've met tons of you in real life--which has by far been one of the best parts of this process (aside from the baby herself, of course). Other people ask me if it's even possible to make friends once you're out of college and I'm always the annoying bubbly one yapping on endlessly about how I've met so many awesome people in the last couple years. You guys rock! smile.gif

As for never. I try not to say never very often since I am paranoid about eating my words. I think the nevers that I had to go back on usually involved casual sex and illegal drug use (when I was a teenager) and then got overridden in my wastrel college years. At this point I'm trying not to talk too big about my awesome potential parenting skills, since I already have a three month old daughter who watches tv with such fervor that if you pick her up while the set is on her whole body will pivot while her eyes stay locked on the screen. Going to sports bars is like heaven on earth. Oh, well.
post #155 of 196

I said I would *never* date a straight woman.  Or a woman who was newly out.  (DW is "straight", I am the exception and if we ever got divorced, she would probably go back to men, but she doesn't identify as anything).  


I said I would *never* work in an NICU because it was too scary (now I work in the highest level NICU in the province and think that any baby 1500g is huge).  


I also said I would never be a nurse.  Hahaha.

post #156 of 196

Hmmmm...I'm trying to figure out if there is something I said I would never do...there is lots I have not done, but those things are things I'm genuinely not interested in doing.  I do tend to be open to most things tho' (eg, I'm a vegetarian but is someone has been kind enough to cook for me I will eat whatever they have cooked--fortunately I'm in a bit of a crunchy bubble and folks don't tend to go too meat heavy around where we live or in our circles).  


As for my time on MDC, I think I've been here for about 5/6 years or so (started lurking roughly around when we started ttc).  

post #157 of 196

Oh!  And I would NEVER EVER NOT IN A MILLION YEARS have a c-section.  Heavens, no!  Women who have c-sections are just lazy or victims of their fears.  Every woman can birth naturally.

And of course, every woman can breastfeed.  It's so easy!  And every woman has enough milk, so I don't even need to say that I would NEVER EVER NOT IN A MILLION YEARS supplement my babies with formula.  Goodness gracious me, no way.

(Oobs, eggscuz me, I hab so much crow in my moud dat I can't tawk! winky.gif)

post #158 of 196

I don't say "never" very often, but I think at some point earlier in my life I may have said I would never use a non-KD. But I was probably saying that because I was afraid I would have to. I had a lot of feelings about using sperm from a sperm bank being sort of dystopian and divorced from human relationships. But after things didn't work out with two potential KDs, I had to face the fact that if I wanted a child, a WTBK donor would be the way to go.

post #159 of 196
I'm food obsessed.

What are your favorite summer foods/meals?

We have produce coming out of our ears lately and I've been digging egussi stew. I found a recipe on the back of a children's book at the library. It uses up whatever produce and meat I have hanging around the house plus some ginger and pumpkin seeds. Yum.
post #160 of 196

Mommy and baby are both obsessed with Greek yogurt.  Mommy likes it with olive oil, garlic and paprika, preferably spread onto pita bread from one of the local Middle Eastern shops. A prefers it mixed with just about any kind of puree under the sun (most recently, butternut squash).


This works out well for my spouse who is trying to cook more vegetarian meals for everyone (although Grandma still thinks a meal should consist of a piece of meat, a starch, and a vegetable boiled into submission, each in its own section on the plate ;) ... she is willing to try some new things, though.)


Also, thanks to everyone who gave me tips on traveling with a baby!  A has *just* mastered drinking straight water out of a sippy, so we should be able to keep her hydrated at least...

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